FAVORITE GLEE QUOTES

"You move me, Kurt." -Blaine Anderson

"I don't think I need to do much tricking to get you to do something stupid, Finn." -Jessie St. James

"You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop." -Jessie St. James

"Oh, William, I wouldn't dare lean on you-so much grease in your hair, I'd probably slide right off." -Sue Sylvester

"They must have sensed I'm a lesbian. Do I smell like a golf course?" -Santana Lopez

"I just had a relationship with a guy who turned out to be gay. That is songwriting gold!" -Rachel Berry

"Blaine and I love football. Well, Blaine loves football. I love scarves." -Kurt Hummel

"You used to be just sort of unlikeable, but now I pretty much feel like punching you every time you talk." -Quinn Fabray

"If we lose, we should throw possums." -Brittany Pierce

"Do you know what this is? It's broccoli. When I showed this to Brittany earlier, she began to whimper, thinking I had cut down a small tree where a family of gummi bears used to live." -Sue Sylvester

"You smell homeless, Brett. Homeless." -Kurt Hummel

"I'd like to preserve you. In a jar. In my basement." -Mercedes Jones

"How can you do a duet with yourself? That's like, vocal masturbation, or something." -Santana Lopez

"God's an evil dwarf?" -Brittany Pierce

"This country is not a monarchy, William. Trust me, I've tried." -Sue Sylvester

"I don't brush my teeth. I rinse my mouth out with soda after I eat. I was pretty sure Dr. Pepper was a dentist." -Brittany Pierce

"That young terrorist went on to be the first gay president of the United States: Abraham Lincoln." -Sue Sylvester

"I sound like someone put tap shoes on a horse and shot it." -Artie Abrams

"We need to do a real investigation. Like CSI real." -Jessie St. James

"I'm a sex shark. If I stop moving, I die." -Noah Puckerman

"Mercedes is black, I'm gay. We make culture." -Kurt Hummel

"Did you know dolphins are just gay sharks?" -Brittany Pierce

"There's a stack of mattresses in the choir room piled as high as the empty hair gel bottles in the dumpster outside your apartment." -Sue Sylvester

"I want to be very clear: I still have the use of my penis." -Artie Abrams

"My body is like a rum-chocolate souffle: If I don't warm it up right, it doesn't rise." -Kurt Hummel

"Chicks don't have prostates. I looked it up." -Noah Puckerman

"I'm still on the fence about the celibacy club. I only joined to get into Quinn Fabray's pants." -Finn Hudson

"People think you're gay now, Finn. And you know what that makes me? Your big gay beard." -Quinn Fabray

"One day you will all work for me." -Kurt Hummel

FAVORITE VAMPIRE DIARIES SEASON 1 QUOTES

"Tell me: when was the last time you had something stronger than a squirrel?" -Damon Salvatore

"Where's your ring? The sun is coming up in a couple of hours and...poof...ashes to ashes." -Damon Salvatore

"Yeah, and then you poured Grams another shot and she told you about the aliens." -Caroline Forbes

"Not bad. Have you been eating bunnies?" -Damon Salvatore

"That's for me to know and for you to dot dot dot." -Damon Salvatore

"No, it's me. The hypocrite control." -Jenna Sommers

"I've become my worst nightmare. The authority figure." -Jenna Sommers

"Says the girl who spends her alone time writing in a cemetery." -Stefan Salvatore

"Does it look like I do dishes?" -Caroline Forbes

"It's all so ra-ra-go team!" -Damon Salvatore

"Years and years of crossword puzzles. It's a loner thing." -Stefan Salvatore

"Caroline Forbes, when have you ever kept a secret in your life?" -Bonnie Bennett

"You're dead, dude. Get over it." -Damon Salvatore

"I fled town because of you. Fled." -Jenna Sommers

"This is my fault. I planted doubt. I'm a doubt-planter." -Bonnie Bennett

"Yes, being a 150 year-old teenager has been the height of my happiness." -Stefan Salvatore

"Dude? Really? Dude?" -Damon Salvatore

"So she's a vampire with issues?" -Elena Gilbert

"Where's your bathroom? I have to pee. Why do I have to pee? I thought I was dead." -Vicki Donovan

"I'm not taking her to Disneyland, we're going to the front yard!" -Damon Salvatore

"I have a mood ring from '75. Trade?" -Lexi

"That's it, Damon. After a century, I've finally found out that death means nothing without you." -Lexi

"Um, have you met you? You're not a nice person." -Lexi

"Stefan smiles, alert the media." -Damon Salvatore

"So, it's true. I'm shallow. I'm worse than shallow. I'm a kiddy pool." -Caroline Forbes

"I'll adopt the Stefan diet. Only nothing with feathers." -Damon Salvatore

"This Emily chick has some serious explaining to do." -Caroline Forbes

"We're a team. We could travel the world together. We could try out for The Amazing Race!" -Damon Salvatore

"I'm just surprised to see you here. Art mostly implies culture, and, well, culture doesn't imply you." -Jeremy Gilbert

"No, you look like a full-grown alpha male douchebag." -Alaric Saltzman

"I don't side with anyone. You piss me off, I want you dead." -Damon Salvatore

"Vampires cant procreate...but we love to try." -Damon Salvatore

"Time out, remember? Five minutes? Well, that five minutes is gonna need a beer." -Elena Gilbert

"You just found out that your boyfriend's a vampire...so unless your parents are aliens...how bad could it be?" -Bonnie Bennett

"If he's trying to kill me, why call first?" -Elena Gilbert

"Is this like a threesome now? You and the Salvatore brothers?" -Caroline Forbes

"Now, you remember that, because it's never going to happen again." -Stefan Salvatore

"I'm a terrible, awful person, but I'm working on it." -Caroline Forbes

"If I see anything I haven't seen before, I'll throw a dollar at it." -Damon Salvatore

"Hot trumps weird...trust me." -Damon Salvatore

"You're a powerful witch goddess. Seize the day, Broomhilda!" -Elena Gilbert

"Well, I kinda miss my daily dose of cute stalker chick." -Jeremy Gilbert

"You're lucky I like you. Keep the door open." -Jenna Sommers

"Yes, it's a 'you kissed me and I don't want things to be weird' speech." -Caroline Forbes

"I don't like sports cars, they're too hard to make out in." -Caroline Forbes

"If it's not vampires, it's girlfriends." -Elena Gilbert

"I'm not gonna turn someone who knows everything about vampires from Netflix." -Anna

"I'm not blaming you, Damon. I've accepted the fact that you're a self-serving psychopath with no human qualities." -Elena Gilbert

"Give my regards to the squirrels." -Damon Salvatore

"Be more creepy, Dad, it's not like your son is standing here." -Tyler Lockwood

"Oh, I understand...I understand. He's the reason you live. His love lifts you up where you belong. I get it." -Damon Salvatore

"If I had a good side, not a way to get on it." -Damon Salvatore

"Guess what? Everyone hates me. But you can't deny: We were bad ass!" -Damon Salvatore

"Turn it up a little bit! It's not annoying yet!" -Damon Salvatore

"His name is John, but I call him 'Jackass'." -Elizabeth Forbes

"The Stefan you know is good behavior Stefan, rein it in Stefan, fight against his nature to an annoyingly obsessive level ... Stefan." -Damon Salvatore

"Please dance with your alcoholic vampire boyfriend." -Stefan Salvatore

"We have a problem, Stefan. And when I say problem, I mean global crisis." -Damon Salvatore

"Ill kill every last one of them. Then Ill sever your hand, pull your ring off, and Ill kill you, too!" -Damon Salvatore

"I'm not sad. I'm freaking hungry!" -Stefan Salvatore

"Stefan likes ... puppy blood. Little golden retriever puppies, cute floppy ears. Thats his favorite." -Damon Salvatore

"Let's not kill anyone tonight. Your words. Just pointing that out." -Damon Salvatore

"And then, Mr. Gilbert, may you rot in hell." -Pearl

"What did you think we were gonna find? Isobel with a cigar and slippers?" -Damon Salvatore

"Everything on this planets not your fault. My actions, what I do, its not your fault. I own them. They belong to me. Youre not allowed to feel my guilt." -Damon Salvatore

"Witches, judgy little things." -Damon Salvatore

"I'm supposed to help build the Miss Mystic float for the Founders Day Parade. If I don't, I get the wrath of Caroline." -Elena Gilbert

"I was a little too distracted by my dead vampire wife to ask any questions." -Alaric Saltzman

"I do believe in killing the messenger. You know why? Because it sends a message." -Damon Salvatore

"I don't need proof. That's between Elena, John, Maury, and a DNA test." -Damon Salvatore

"Oh, you started it Stefan, with that whole 'I'm insecure and leave Elena alone' speech. I'm still enjoying that." -Damon Salvatore

"Everything on this planets not your fault. My actions, what I do, its not your fault. I own them. They belong to me. Youre not allowed to feel my guilt."