Oh. Well, welcome to me.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today; its already tomorrow in Australia.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.

We are not retreating . . . we are advancing in another direction.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff? I laugh even harder.

The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy something else to shoot at.

An expert is a person who tells you a simple thing in a confusing way in such a fashion that you think the confusion is your fault.

There are 2 indefinite things in the world. The universe and human stupidity, and I'm not so sure about the universe.

Just because I can't do something doesn't change the fact that you suck at doing that something.

There are all sorts of friends - the good kind, the bad kind, the kind that you see every day on the streets… But the terrible kind that punch you when you stray, drag you forward on your butt when you can’t walk on your own anymore, and ignore you even when you yell yourself hoarse telling them to get lost - the kind you don’t always get to meet in life… treasure them.

Every single one of us has the potential to be a monster. We just need a hard enough push.

Truth, justice, honor...none of that's worth anything.What matters is people, and people aren't honest or just or honorable. They're petty and they're angry and they're afraid, and all anyone really wants, deep down, is to be wanted. And what's truth to that?

Opportunity didn't knock on my door, it slammed it down and demanded that I get the hell out of my house and do something.

The other day, someone asked me how I kept my sanity in a world like this. My answer? I didn't.

It is not weird to argue with yourself, it is only weird to argue with yourself and lose.

I don't care if it's half full or half empty, I just want to know who drank my soda.

I'll try and try and keep on trying, but that's all I can and will ever do.

Every author has their eccentricities, mine is putting characters in horrible situations to break them down and then building a story around the aftermath. Some people would call it satisfying a sadistic nature, I call it creating a story difficult to forget.

Isn't that a question everyone asks themselves at one point? Why are you here? I asked that question sooner than most, and I'm here because I think this path will lead me to an answer.

Don't play stupid with me, I'm better at it!

I'm not cynical; everything just sucks.

Everyone has a photographic memory; most just don't have film.

Parents call it talking back, we call it explaining why they're wrong.

No offense... But... You're crazy insane!" "Why would I take offense? I've seen your sanity and frankly, it bores me.

I slept for far too long and when I woke, the world was upside down... And I was destined for hell, because I simply chose to disbelieve in heaven. Perhaps I was just still asleep, somewhere out there, many years ago? I enter a dream from which there was no waking.

Monsters aren't born, they're made.

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

A conclusion is what you reach when you get tired of thinking.

Of course I'm out of my mind; it's dark and scary in there!

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young.

People say that I have totally lost it. I wasn't even aware I had it.

Never argue with an idiot; they'll bring you to their level then beat you with experience.

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door.

War does not determine who is right. War determines who is left.

I disagree with what you say, but I will defend to death your right to say it.

Always borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back.

Ambition is just a lame excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

I don't know what makes you so dumb, but it really works.

The funniest thing about this sentence is that by the time you realize it doesn't say anything important, it's too late to stop reading it. Stupid.

Shikamaru Block: A combination of writer's block and sheer laziness.

The object of war is not to die for your country, but to make the other guy die for his.

If you're going to do something wrong, at least enjoy it.

People are morons. I don't have any other explanation. I really don't.

The light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train.

Foolishness and bravery are two sides of the same coin. It just depends which side the coin lands on.

Science is neither good nor bad, it is only true.

Taken from IRL and a variety of authors. If there is anything that you would like to take down (or to get credit), don't hesitate to pm me.