Hello my name is Shai.

Favorite Genres: Horror, Fantasy, Mystery, and some other stuff.

FRIENDS:
Would knock on your front door.

BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS:
You have to tell them not to tell anyone.

BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS:
Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)

BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS:
Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.

BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don't waste."

FRIENDS:
Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FRIENDS:
Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.

BEST FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to what's wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FRIENDS:
Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.

BEST FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FRIENDS:
Will comfort you when the guy rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS:
Would ignore this letter.

BEST FRIENDS: Will re-post this crap!!

Weird is good, strange is good, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

You Know You're Obssessed With Naruto When...

1) You graduate high school and you proclaim yourself an ANBU.
2) You fight someone and try to hit their chakra points.
3) You can spout a random character quote on command.
4) You list ANBU as current occupation on a job application.
5) You draw symbols on a scroll and try to seal a hole in the wall with it.
6) You wake up in the middle of the night screaming "Itachi WHY?!"
7) You get bit by a snake and decide that stabbing the wound is a good idea.
8) You leave for two years and come back acting like you're cooler and smarter.
9) You paint the kanji "love" on your forehead and claim that you can control sand.
10) You name your dog Akamaru or Pakkun.
11) You do something stupid and claim that you were being controlled by the Shadow Possession Jutsu.
12) You yell out "Wind Shuriken Throw of Death!" when throwing a frisbee.
13) You try to kill your brother everyday.
14) You keep alcohol in your mouth then spit it out with a match in front of your mouth to create a fireball.
15) You poke people in their butts and yell "A thousand years of pain!"
16) You paste Naruto's face on pictures of your friends and claim to have met him.
17) You draw a swirl on your palm and claim to be able to do Rasengan.
18) In the middle of the night, you blast a flashlight into your dad's eyes and yell "Chidori!"
19) You stay up all night claiming the Shukaku will eat you.
20) Every time your class goes on a field trip, you say you're going on a mission.
21) You yell "Konoha Senpu" when kicking a soccer ball.
22) You paint your skin red and claim that you can open the third chakra gate.
23) You call your teacher "Iruka-sensei."
24) You go to school wearing a forehead protector and claim it is the latest trend from the Hidden Leaf Village.
25) You keep paper shurikens in your fanny pack.

PLEASE READ WHAT'S UNDER THIS!!

-I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
-I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
-I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
-We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
-I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
-I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
-I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
-I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
-We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
-I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
-I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
-I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
-I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
-I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
-I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
-I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
-I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
-I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
-I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
-I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.

Re-post this if you believe homophobia is wrong. Please do your part to end it

If you've read the Twighlight series but think all of your friends r NUTS for going nuts over it copy and paste this on ur profile. (seriously, Edward isn't THAT hot... and neither is is Jacob... OR ANY OF THEM!!)

IF YOU'VE EVER TRIED TO SLAM A REVOLVING DOOR AND RECENTLY REALIZED THAT IT'S IMPOSSIBLE PUT THIS ON UR PROFILE!! (iT REALLY IS IMPOSSIBLE... TRY IT!!)

If you joined the Dark Side because we have cookies, copy and paste this into your profile

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.

The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.'

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly.

The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.'

His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.'

'I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check
Again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

'My mommy loves white roses.'

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket.

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started.

I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Now you have 2 choices:

1) Repost this message, or
2) Ignore it as if it never touched your heart.

Two Choices

What would you do?...you make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves children with learning disabilities, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its
dedicated staff, he offered a question:

'When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does, is done with perfection.

Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do.

Where is the natural order of things in my son?'

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. 'I believe that when a child like Shay, who was mentally and physically disabled comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people treat that child.'

Then he told the following story:

Shay and I had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, 'Do you think they'll let me play?' I knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but as a father I also understood that if my son were allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

I approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, 'We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning.'

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. I watched with a small tear in my eye and warmth in my heart. The boys saw my joy at my son being accepted.

In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by three.

In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as I waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again.

Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game?

Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact.

The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed.

The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay.

As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over.

The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman.

Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates.

Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, 'Shay, run to first!

Run to first!'

Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base.

He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, 'Run to second, run to second!'

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base.

By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team.

He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head.

Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, 'Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay'

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, 'Run to third!

Shay, run to third!'

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, 'Shay, run home! Run home!'

Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team

'That day', said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, 'the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world'.

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making me so happy, and coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOT NOTE TO THIS STORY:

We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate.

The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the 'appropriate' ones to receive this type of message Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference.

We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the 'natural order of things.'

So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Delete

2. Forward

May your day, be a Shay Day.
If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you think that those kids should just give up and let Lucky have his stupid cereal back, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't known which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile!

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer!

If you have beaten over 10 games, copy this into your profile.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people, but honestly i think guns have something to do with it because if someone just stood there and said "bang," i don't think many people would be dead...

When life gives you lemons, alter their DNA and make SUPER LEMONS!

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three

A good friend will comfort you when she rejects you. But a best friend will go up to her and say "It's because you're gay isn't it?"

Stop the Pairing Wars!

By copying and pasting this in your profile, you vow to respect other pairings and the people that like them.

You shalt not insult them, explain why they can't be together, or say that they would rather be with someone else.

You shalt have your opinions but shalt not insult pairings. You shalt avoid them if you hate them.

You shalt keep an open mind about stories even if you despise the pairing.

You shalt paste this in your profile.

your profile.

Brought to you by the letter H.

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

98 of the internet population has a Myspace. If you're part of the 2 that can resist stupid fads, copy and paste this into your profile.

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

If you like the cold and to walk in the moonlit night, copy this onto your profile.

If you have ever laughed out loud when you were thinking something funny and people looked at you with a weird face, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever been so wrapped up thinking about anime, anime, fanart or anime fan fictions that you zone out and come back to reality 5 minutes or later with no idea whats going on,copy this onto your profile.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

Few women admit their age. Fewer men act it

Don't steal! The government hates competition.

Be nice to your kids, they'll be choosing your nursing home.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it.

I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back!

They told me I was gullible...and I believed them

:( Dont interrupt me while I'm talking to myself

i love you is spelled with 8 letters... then again so is Bullshit

Even i'm eatable but thats called CANNIBALIZIM my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies!

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

You say you hate me, but deep down, you know you love me.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you're all the same.

The rain is fucked up. I walked to the bike racks, and it started to rain. When I got home soaked, it stopped raining and the sun came out -.-; If the rains hates you too, add your name to the list: Cecelashai

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Sugar is sweet and so are you!

But sadly,

The roses have wilted,

The violets are dead,

The sugar bowl's empty,

and my dagger's stained red.

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.
The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98% of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93% of the people that read this won’t re-post it?

Stop Abortion... I consider abortion as murder! Also repost this to stop teen mom abortion!

Month one

Mommy
I am only 8 inches long
but I have all my organs.
I love the sound of your voice.
Every time I hear it
I wave my arms and legs.
The sound of your heart beat
is my favorite lullaby.

Month Two

Mommy
today I learned how to suck my thumb.
If you could see me
you could definitely tell that I am a baby.
I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though.
It is so nice and warm in here.

Month Three

You know what Mommy
I'm a boy!
I hope that makes you happy.
I always want you to be happy.
I don't like it when you cry.
You sound so sad.
It makes me sad too
and I cry with you even though
you can't hear me.

Month Four

Mommy
my hair is starting to grow.
It is very short and fine, but i will have a lot of it
I spend a lot of my time exercising.
I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes
and stretch my arms and legs.
I am becoming quite good at it too.

Month Five

You went to the doctor today.
Mommy, he lied to you.
He said that I'm not a baby.
I am a baby Mommy, your baby.
I think and feel.
Mommy, what's abortion?

Month Six

I can hear that doctor again.
I don't like him.
He seems cold and heartless.
Something is intruding my home.
The doctor called it a needle.
Mommy what is it? It burns!
Please make him stop!
I can't get away from it!
Mommy!! HELP ME!!

Month Seven

Mommy
I am okay.
I am in Jesus's arms.
He is holding me.
He told me about abortion.
Why didn't you want me Mommy?

Every Abortion Is Just . . .

One more heart that was stopped.
Two more eyes that will never see.
Two more hands that will never touch.
Two more legs that will never run.
One more mouth that will never speak.

This really makes you think….

Dear Mommy,

I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus’ lap. He loves me and
cries with me; for my heart has been broken. I so wanted to be
your little girl.

I don’t quite understand what has happened. I was so excited
when I began realizing my existance. I was in a dark, yet
comfortable place. I saw I had fingers and toes. I was pretty
far along in my developing, yet not near ready to leave my
surroundings. I spent most of my time thinking or sleeping.

Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between
you and me. Sometimes I heard you crying and I cried with
you.Sometimes you would yell or scream, then cry. I heard
Daddy yelling back. I was sad, and hoped you would be better
soon. I wondered why you cried so much.

One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I
couldn’t imagine why you were so unhappy. That same day,
the most horrible thing happened. A very mean monster came
into that warm, comfortable place I was in. I was so scared, I
began screaming, but you never once tried to help me. Maybe
you never heard me. The monster got closer and closer as I
was screaming and screaming,”Mommy, Mommy, help me
please; Mommy, help me.”

Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I
thought I couldn’t anymore.Then the monster started ripping
my arm off. It hurt so bad; the pain I can never explain. It
didn’t stop. Oh, how I begged it to stop. I screamed in horror
as it ripped my leg off. Though I was in such complete pain, I
was dying. I knew I would never see your face or hear you
say how much you love me.

I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans
to make you happy. Now I couldn’t; all my dreams were
shattered. Though I was in utter pain and horror, I felt the pain
of my heart breaking, above all. I wanted more than anything
to be your daughter. No use now, for I was dying a painful
death. I could only imagine the terrible things that they had
done to you.

I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I
didn’t know the words you could understand. And soon, I no
longer had the breath to say them; I was dead.I felt myself
rising. I was being carried by a huge angel into a big beautiful
place. I was still crying, but the physical pain was gone.

The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said He
loved me, and He was my Father. Then I was happy. I asked
Him what the thing was that killed me. He answered,
“Abortion. I am sorry, my child; for I know how it feels.” I
don’t know what abortion is; I guess that’s the name of the
monster.

I’m writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I
wanted to be your little girl. I tried very hard to live. I wanted
to live. I had the will, but I couldn’t; the monster was too
powerful. It sucked my arm and legs off and finally got all of
me. It was impossible to live. I just wanted you to know I
tried to stay with you. I didn’t want to die.

Also, Mommy, please watch out for that abortion monster.
Mommy, I love you and I would hate for you to go through
the kind of pain I did. Please be careful.

Love,

Your Baby Girl

Teacher: This is not something that you can finish the night before.
Me: YOU UNDERESTIMATE MY POWER.

Friend: If we get caught, pretend we don't speak english
Cop: What happened here!
Me: No hablo ingles!
Cop: Oh que paso?
Me: ...
Me: Run!

When people tell me to not act weird in public.
"Bitch Please, I'm making your day entertaining."

isn't it upsetting that your future husband is literally alive right now but you just don’t know who he is, he could be with a stUPID GIRLFRIEND GET AWAY FROM MY HUSBAND YOU WHORE

Smart boring person: On a scale of 1-100, how immature are you?
Me: 69

95% of the teens will cry, if Justin Bieber stands on the Empire-State-Building and say: "I WILL JUMP"

I'm one of the 5% who, would eat popcorn and shout:

"DO A BACKFLIP"

Parents: you can be anything you want
Parents: no not that

She will chase you around for a while;
But there's going to be a day when she stops running in circles around you.
She's going to get over you and at that very moment you're going to wish you had let her catch you
(I'd love to tell this to Sonic one day XP)

Someone once asked me why I would voluntarily spend extra time writing.
My response was:

"This world sucks, so I created my own."

One day when my aunt and uncle were visiting with their family*
cousin (He's 3): *playing iPad*
me: You can't play the iPad
cousin: Why not?
me: It's bad for your eyes.
cousin: So?
Me: then, you'll turn blind and the girls won't chase you and then you'll live in the middle of the woods by yourself with 67 cats.
cousin: oh.

Next Day
brother: *playing iPad*
cousin: you can't play the iPad!
brother: ...why not?
cousin: You'll end up living in the woods with 67 cats!!

I hate people who think people who support gay rights are gay. I mean, I support animal rights, do I look like
a motherfucking alpaca to you?

How are you supposed to ask your favorite boyband member to kiss you on the cheek for a picture like i caN'T EVEN LOOK A BOY IN THE EYES AND ASK HIM WHAT TIME IT IS

So I was on the internet, as usual.

I ended up crossing a picture that changed my perspective on everything.
The picture was of four Kids that live in Africa
It was obvious that they were living very poorly, considering the clothes there were dressed in.

I looked at the picture more carefully, and I saw the true happiness in their faces.

And then I thought to myself, "If these boys, these four boys that have next to almost nothing, can be happy and full of life, why can't I, someone who has new clothes every other month or two, and a roof over my head, be happy?"

Some people can have so much, and still be sad, while some people have so little, can appreciate what they do have, and be so happy about it

As my mother so eloquently puts it:

"i don't see you pushing an 8 pound f*cking miracle through your v*gina, so you don't get to make the f*cking decisions."

some people look so adorable when they kiss.

and then other people are just like FACE SMASH.

one time in 7th grade my health teacher was teaching us about chromosomal disorders and apparently some women can have three X chromosomes and she went to go look up some pictures of what some women afflicted with this condition look like. Unfortunately my teacher typed in “XXX females” and that worked about just as well as you’d expect.

Me: *sees crush is online*
Me: Ok, I'm gonna talk to him
Crush: *logs off*
Me: Ha, jokes on you
Me: I didn't actually want to talk to you
Me:
Billie Joe Armstrong:
Stevo Jocz:
Gerard Way:
Ashley Purdy:
Me:
Me: *cries*

A haiku about summer:

It’s so fucking hot
Why the fuck do bugs exist
My sweat is sweating.

They call them “goosebumps” because there are little, tiny, microscopic geese living inside of you and when you’re in a cold place they think they have reached the north and they all try to get out at the same time.

Oversized hoodies - You think they’re clothes, but they’re actually wearable hugs.

Mario: Lets see, I'll just jump three feet in the air here
Mario: Smash through these blocks...
Mario: Bang my head against this block with a question mark on it
Mario: and.. OH SHIT A TURTLE

me: *names child butter*
me: *accidentally brings home wrong child*
me: i can't believe it's not butter

my dad: *accidentally rips all the Christmas lights we just put up down*
my mom: *walks away with hands up in the air*I SHOULD'VE BEEN A LESBIAN

Me: Hey Dad can I have some money?
Dad: Only if you make me say Pie.
Me: Say what?
Dad: Pie.
Me:
Dad:
Me:
Dad:
Me:
Dad: *pulls out wallet* Is twenty okay?

Me texting My Dad*

Me: I got detention so I won't be home until a little later.

Dad: Detention? THAT'S MY GIRL! you're finally starting to loosen up! Mark the calendar, my daughter's turning into a badass.

Potheads say that marajuana is good for you because it's natural.

But just because it's natural doesn't mean it is safe.

You wanna know what else is natural?

Bears.

Friend: I failed my spelling test because the question said, "Spell Perfect", and I spelled his name
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me: Well then you're an idiot.

when we were at the airport one time the guy at check-in reminded us that we weren’t allowed to carry sharp objects with us onto the plane and i said “oh damn looks like i’ll have to leave behind my wit” and thats how i made a middle-aged guy laugh so hard he had to get his colleague to take over his check-in desk

at McDonalds*

Me: hi can I have some chicken nuggets?
Cashier: you mean McNuggets?
Friend: uhm... What's the difference?
Cashier: McDonalds has McNuggets.. Duh.
Me: That's very interesting. Thanks for wasting my time, now can you McFinish taking my McOrder, McMake my food and McShut the fuck up? Thanks a lot McAsshole.
Friend: and some McFries with that please.

Story time!
So I'm one of those unfortunate souls who are plagued with something that I would like to refer to as "B*tch face".
Basically, my resting face looks like I'm about to murder someone. Not only that though, I also have b*tch voice. Meaning, when I talk I sound like I'm about to murder someone. Anyway, here's a short conversation between a classmate and I.

Classmate: *Peers over at my paper during a group assignment*
Me: May I help you?
Classmate: *A fear as intense as the blazing fires of hell leaks into his eyes*
The rest of the class: *Stops in the middle of working to look at me*
Teacher: Oh, oh my god.
The rest of the class: *Looks at one another with baffled expressions*
Me: What did I do!?

me in the winter: how do you expect me to do things it's fucking freezing outside
me in the summer: how do you expect me to do things it's fucking hell outside

Mum: Hey that band you like is on tv
Me: *Bashes through my door
Me: *Slips on the floor
Me: *Trips on the stairs
Me: *Runs into wall
Me: *Army rolls into the kitchen
Me: *Skids round the corner
Me: *Dives on sofa
Me: Shutup or I will murder you all

School:
-Where you spend 8 hours in a stuffy class room full of idiots
-Then you go home and stay at late at night trying to finish homework
-Wake up early in the morning and arrive to school on time
-Expected to pay attention in class like you actually got more than 4 hours of sleep

And yet they still wonder why teenagers are always upset and angry

I'm not crazy, i'm mad as hell.