HopelessRomantic1996
Hi my name is Mary and I'm a teenager. I'm not telling you my age. You figure that out. If you want you can PM me with guesses. If you get it right you can't tell ANYONE! just kidding I don't care but you can guess if you want. :P Oh and btw check out my other account, it's my uploading account. You know the one I upload Channy fics on! lol! =P It's www.fanfiction.net/~countrygal196 check it out meh peeps!! I'm a Girl... DUH! I live in Aguanga California... ok I know your going 'huh? where is that?' I'll explain. If you live in the US you've probably heard of Palm Springs or Palm Desert right? ok then now If you were to drive to there you'd probably drive THROUGH Anza. Right before Anza is Aguanga. Most people pronounce it how it looks but its pronounced Awonga. Strange word I know. My profile pic is me and my dog for those of you who were wondering... that picture was taken last year and It kinda sucks... lol. Pictures really don't do me justice. I'm sooo much less weird looking then that... I MEAN IT! Fine don't believe me! humph... lol. Name: Mary Age: 13 Living: Do you need to know? Favorite Color: Blue Favorite fruit: uhhhhh…. I like all fruits. Favorite band: idk Favorite country: Italy… though I’ve never been there… it’s a dream of mine. =D Favorite movie: don’t got one Favorite song: I like a lot of songs and im to lazy to choose. Favorite book: I like lots of books and once again im to lazy to choose. Best Friend: um it’s a tie between Em and Kyra. Eye Color: blue –ish green –ish hazely color. Why I write: Cuz I have an insanely awesome imagination and I figure im doin the world a favor by writing it all down. Style: jeans and a tee you’ll very RARELY find me in anything else. Least Fav. Color: Pink Least Fav. Band: uuhhhh… I don’t know. There are a lot of really bad bands out there. Least Fav. Fruit: ummm… don’t have one… I think…. To lazy to think hard right now. Least Fav. Country: least fav country? Really? No REALLY?! Wth? Least Fav. Movie: idk Least Fav. Song: IDK Least Fav. Book: give me one good reason why I would read a book that I don’t like and then make a point to remember it? Srsly idk. Although I do HATE my brother sam is dead…. I have to read it for English tho so dats different. Least Fav. Friend: Darby. We used to be friends but now she’s a female dog if u no wat I mean. 1. Find a globe. Spin it. What does it say? I don’t got no globe. Lol. 2. Find a book. Turn to page 57, line 18, word 6. What does it say? How the West was Won by Louis L’Amor - Flesh 3. What can you hear right now? Into the west by Annie Lennox 4. Have a conversation with the closest living thing to you other than yourself. Me: yo bug! Bug: Me: BUGGY! Bug: Me: Say Hi to the nice people bug. Bug: Me: You are one rude bug. I’m gonna call you rudy. Bug: Me: No response eh? Bug: Me: whatever rudy. 5. Turn on the T.V. What show is on? Barbariens 6. Type your name with your elbow. Marfty marfty eh? Lol! =D 7. What happened last time you were typing here on this computer? I spelles my name wrong… marfty…. Lol! =D 8. Stand up. Close your eyes. Spin around three times. Stop. Open your eyes. What's the first thing you see? A plaque of mother teresa HONEST SECTION: Honestly, what are you doing right now? Editing my profile(duh), listening to music, and reading ff’s Honestly, have you done something bad today?: yeah… I should probably be doing science hw right now but imma baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad girl! =P Honestly, would you rather watch disney channel or discovery channel?: depending wats on. But if swac’s on then DISNYE EVERYTIME DUDE! Honestly, who is the last person you talked to on the phone?: My daddy… or was it Rachel… um… I 4got… lol! =P Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?: Nope! Honestly, what makes you mad most of the time?: People… people… things people do… my siblings… and people! Honestly, do you bite your nails?: Nope! Honestly, do you wish you could see someone right now?: Yeah… I wish I was in Idywild… EM YOUR HOUSE IS SO MUCH MORE FUN THEN MINE! Now all we need is for you to get a horse and it’ll be perfect… lol =P Honestly, do you have a friend you don’t actually like?: Yeah… THE CANS: Can you dance?: what kind of dance? I can irish dance… but other than that I won’t say… lol =P Can you do a cart wheel?: Kinda can. used to do gymnastics Can you tie a cherry stem with your mouth?: ummm… no…… Can you whistle?: No I can’t I also can’t breathe or eat.. WHADDAYA THINK?! Can you wiggle your ears? : Yes but I have to use these little things called HANDS! Can you roll your tongue?: sure thang! Can you make a clover with your tongue?: nope but sterling Knight can… -dreamy look- ANGER SECTION: What’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?: lets see… I’ve hit my brother with a spatula therefore nicking the bone is his left hand, I’ve broken my moms laptop..(ok now THAT was actually an accident…)… umm.. I really don’t know! =P Ever made anyone cry when you were mad?: Yup.. my lil bro(hes 11) allllllllll the time… cry baby….. CRYING SECTION: Ever cried yourself to sleep?: Yeah… Ever cried on your friend’s shoulder?: well over the phone so to speak I have… one of my dogs has cancer and I was REALLY upset…. Do you cry when you get an injury?: nope I scream a lot and mabey cuss but no crying… I cry when I get REALLY mad though sometimes… Do certain songs make you cry?: no… Do certain movies make you cry?: nope-ity nope-ity nope! HAPPY SECTION: What makes you the happiest?: uhh… laghing, my friends, being weird, the list goes on and on and on and on… Does being with your friends make you happy?: no duh! Do you believe in yourself?: yeah Do you wish you were happier?: nope im good the way I am! =D Is being happy overrated?: is being alive overrated? Can music make you happy: depending on the sing ja! LOVE SECTION: Have you ever loved someone so much that you’d die for them?: deos my dog count? Has anyone besides your friends and family ever said ‘I love you’? No… well… only in my dreams… (really really weird dream…) HATE SECTION: DO you hate anyone?: Darby….. Grrrrr….. punches nearest thing in sight which just so happens to be the table Have you ever been on a hate list?: probably but not one that I know of. Are you a mean bully?: naww… but you wouldn’t want to get on my bad side… Do you hate George Bush?: no SELF ESTEEM SECTION: Do you think you're good looking?: ever heard the song ‘Don cha’ ? yeah this applies here. Lol jk Do you wish you could be someone else?: not often LOOK AT ME: Current piercings?: one in each of my ears in the NORMAL area not up in the cartilage or something weird like that! Have any tattoos?: Never have never will tattoos now THEY are overrated! Straight hair or curly?: Wavy =P CURRENTLY WEARING: Shirt?: Pyro spectaculars tan t-shirt with Arlington high hoodie(pyro spectaculars is a firework company that my dad works for part time… I get help set up fireworks because of it! =P) Pants?: Faded blue jeans(not skinnys) Necklace(s)?: nope none none none Shoes?: Garfield socks not shoes.!! Hats?: naw I just got my hair up in a pony. HAVE YOU EVER: Hugged someone: no im so insocial that ive never even hugged my parents WHADDAYA THINK?! Been on the phone until the sun came up?: a girl can dream! Laughed so hard you peed in your pants?: YEAH!! Laughed so hard you cried?: ALL THE TIME!! Got in a fight with someone?: Hell yeah! THE LAST: Person you talked to in person?: Little sister.. she wanted to wtch tv… I was born for power -puts feet up on table and pulls out lollipop- Person you talked to online?: Rachel Person you hugged?: My dad b4 he went to town RANDOM: Do you like surveys?: yeah.. I guess… Do you get along with your parents? Yeah… Do you have mental breakdowns?: if you call angrey throwing stuff and yelling sprees mental breakdowns then yeah. CURRENT: Current mood: Bored… Current music: Tell me something I don’t know – Selena Gomez Current hair style: My hair back in a bun so it doesn’t bug me. Current thing I ought to be doing: homework Current windows open: ok lets see it’s October 7th, it froze last night, and it’s about 57 degrees outside. Would YOU have the windows open? Current desktop picture: a bunch of river stones (their blue lol) THE DIDS: Did you ever run away from home?: yeah for like 20 ins when I was upset. Did you ever want to be a doctor?: who in there right mind woud ba a docter? All docters are crazy! Did you ever want to be a fire fighter?: yeah… I thought it would be fun… not anymore though. THE DOS: Do you like roller coasters?: yeas Do you own a bike?: yeah Do you think you could handle the stuff they eat on those reality shows?: uhhhhhh.. im gonna pretend I din’t hear this and not make eye contact…. With the computer… lol =P THE DOES: Does your car get good gas mileage?: ummm… yeah? Does your family have family picnics?: naw… THE HAVES: Have you ever painted your nails?: yeah THE HOWS: How much money do you have on you right now?: u don need 2 no THE LASTS: Last thing someone said to you: “FINE! I WON’T WATCH TV!” –Teresa (lil sis) Last thing you said out loud?: “GOOD BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT YOU TO ANYWAYS! GOSH! NOW LEAVE ME ALONE!” to teresa THE WHATS: What is the weather outside?: freazing What was the last restaurant you ate at?: In n Out What was the last thing you had to drink? water What was the last movie you watched?: Halloweentown… I was bored and it was on tv. =P 1) Favorite object in your room? 2) Have you ever smoked heroin? 3) Do you own guns? 4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic? 5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments? 6) What do you think of hot dogs? 7) Favorite song? ummmmm... I LOVE the song Gun powder and Lead by Miranda Lambert and ALL Taylor Swift songs! but I don't rilly know... lol! =D 8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning? 9) Can you do push ups? 10) Can you do a chin up? 11) What's your favorite piece of jewelry? 12) do you like blue cheese? 13) Ever been in a car wreck? 14) What's one trait that you hate about yourself? 15) Middle name? 16) Name 3 thoughts going through your head at this moment? I'm talking to Em while typing... so weird... I LOVE FANFICTION! I'm obsessed... 17) Name 3 things you bought yesterday? 18) Name 3 drinks you drink regularly? 19) Name 3 foods you eat regularly? 20) Current worry? 21) Current hate right now? 22) Do you spend Christmas with extended family? 23) How did you bring in the New Year? 24) Where would you like to be right now? 25) Name three people who will complete this? 26) Do you own slippers? 27) What shirt are you wearing? 28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? 29) Can you whistle? 30) Which hand do you use to write? 31) Would you be a pirate? 32) What songs do you sing in the shower? 33) Favorite girl's name? 34) Favorite boy's name? 35) What's in your pocket? 36) Last person that made you laugh? 37) Best bed sheets as a child? 38) Worst injury you've ever had? 39) Do you love where you live? 40) How many TVs do you have in your house? 41) Who is your loudest friend? 42) How many dogs do you have? 43) Does someone have a crush on you? 45) Did you notice that there is no number 44? 46) What is your favorite candy? 47) Favorite Sports Team? 48) Where is the next place you want to travel to? 49) What were you doing 12 AM last night? 50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? According to a quiz I'm more boy than I am girl AND I'm 142 hot. YOUR GUY SIDE: You love jeans. yes You own/ed an X-Box. no... You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers. nope You watch sports on TV. yes You own like a trillion baseball caps. I own like a trillion and one! You like going to high school football games. I've actually never been to one... You used to/do collect football/baseball cards. no but I wanted to... It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people. yes! You love to go crazy and not care what people think. YES! Sports are fun. depending on the sport Talk with food in your mouth. yeah but I TRY not to... bad habit... Sleep with your socks on at night. no I don't like athletes foot I USED to tho. 16 / 25 YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/chapstick. chapstick You love to shop. depending You wear eyeliner. no flippin way Go to your mom for advice. depending, I usually go to my friends. You consider cheerleading a sport. Hell no! You hate wearing the color black. Black is awesome dude! It doesn't look good on me but it looks good on other people! You like hanging out at the mall. depending You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. NO! cuz then I feel guilty when my nails get dirty! You like wearing jewelry. depending Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe. no flippin way! Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies. no reading is one of my favorite hobbies! You don't like the movie Star Wars. I love star wars! It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. 15 flippin mins at MOST!! 6 / 24 MY FAV QUOTES FROM BOOKS AND MOVIES! "You know, I do not think him is what you think him is." Inigo Montoyez - Princess Bride "Killing a man with talant like your self would be like shattering a stain glass window! However since I can't have you following me, knocks him out with the back of his sword Please understand I hold you in the highest of respect." The Man in Black - Princess Bride "Hello. My name is Inigo Montoyez. You kill my father prepare to die." Inigo Montoyez - Princess Bride "Do you want me to send you back to where you were? Unemployed? In GREENLAND??" Vincennie - Princess Bride "You see? I knew he was bluffing! I knew he was bluff--" Prince Humperdink - Princess Bride "True love is the greatest thing in the world, well except a nice MLT mutton lettuce and tomato when the mutton is nice and lean and the tomatoe's are ripe it's so perky I just love that!" Magic Max - Princess Bride "Um yeah Mr. and Mrs. Mastriani I know this sin't the best time but I'd like to marry your daughter. Well I'm gonna marry her anyway but I'd like to have your blessing." Rob Wilkins - Missing You - 1-800-WHERE-R-YOU series "There's no need to worry! Underdog is furry! Nope that's not it..." Underdog - Underdog the movie "That was some kiss" "That kiss was fake" "What?" "Chad I put my hand over you mouth" "Oh well that explains why your lips tasted like skiball and airhockey" "Chad I didn't kiss you!" "Well thats what I'm puttin on my blog... peace out suckers! waaa" - Chad and Sonny - Sonny with a Chance "Yeah yeah, I'd shake your hand, but mines taped to my ass." Sterling Knight - 17 again "I have tummy issues! What? Get over it!" Sterling Knight - 17 again Don't you ever wonder what that liquid that Chuck squirted Spencer (on iCarly) with was? 1.Put your iTunes (or iPod) on shuffle 2.For each question, press the next button to get your answer 3.YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS! 1.WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO? All I ever wanted 2. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? Homeless Heart 3. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? Violet Hill 4.WHAT IS 2+2? Mercy 5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? Warning Sign 6.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Death and all his friends 7.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? 42 8.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? Superman 9.WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? Mercy 10.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? I'm only me when I'm with you 11.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? Today I started Loving You 12. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? Adding to the Noise 13.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? So Close 14. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? 1812 Overrature(I composed it... lol hee hee hee...) 15. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? I Heart question Mark 16. WHAT IS THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN? If we hold on together 17. HOW WILL YOU DIE? Tied together with a smile 18. WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU WILL REGRET? The Outside 19. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH? Right Here 20. WHAT MAKES YOU CRY? Stp and Stare 21.WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED? Candle on the water 22. WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST? What if 23.DOES ANYONE LIKE YOU? I want it all 24. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE? Chinese Sleep Chant 25. WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW? Hoedown throwdown 26.WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS? Indescribable IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE? So, here's how it works: 1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc) Opening Credits: One in a Million – Miley Cyrus (uuhhh…) Waking Up: Fly ot Your Heart – Selena Gomez (not really…) First Day At School: Stop and Stare – One Republic (uhuh…) Falling In Love: Right Here – Miley Cyrus (hmmmmmmm….) Fight Song: You Belong with me – Taylor Swift (hahahah) Breaking Up: Ever ever After – Carrie Underwood (lol doesn’t fit AT ALL!) Prom night: Summer Nights – Grease Soundtrack no idea who artist is =D (yea not really.) Life: Should’ve said No – Taylor Swift (uhuh…. Moving on…) Mental Breakdown: Resistance – Muse(uhhh… yea this doesn’t work. Lol =D) Driving: Candle on the Water – Helen Reddy (from pete’s dragon… doesn’t really fit. =D) Flashback: Trash – Demi Lavato (uhuh…) Getting back together: Get Back - Demi Lavato (HAHAH TALK ABOUT IRONIC!) Wedding: Come in with the Rain – Taylor Swift (lol) Birth of Child: Teardrops on my guitar – Taylor Swift (okaaaaaaaaaay……..) Final Battle: I’m only me when I’m with you – Taylor Swift (yea….) Funeral Song: Tie me Kangaroo down Sport – Rolf Harris (don’t ask y I have this on here… cuz I don’t have an answer… =D lol!) Final Credits: Handlebars – Flobots (okaaaaaaaaaay…) These are just some random things I found... the countrygirl one I did though... as in I MADE it. It's MINE copyright 2009! lol... but seriously: If you read Deathly Hallows in under a week, copy and paste this,then add your name and how long it took you to read the book, World Peace (5 days), WickedSong (1 and a half days),countrygal196(1 day) If you are one of the teenage girls left who are sick to the bone of hearing about Twilight and Edward Cullen copy and paste this to your profile and add your name to this list: WickedSong, countrygal196 98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off! If you have your own little world, copy and paste into your profile. If you've ever busted a move/ burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile. If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck copy and paste this onto your profile. If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile. If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this into your profile. If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile. I'm a countrygirl. If your a countrygirl, copy and paste this to your profile. The difference between a countrygirl and a citygirl is... A countrygirl ain't afraid to fight. A citygirl doesn't know how to. A countrygirl ain't afraid to get dirty. A citygirl wouldn't wanna get her nails dirty. A countrygirl can take pain with out tears. A citygirl would cry over a broken nail that doesn't even hurt. A countrygirl can hold her own. A citygirl has to rely on somebody. I hate... Citygirls who say there tomboys but there not. I'm a tomboy. I should know. The fact that cuz I'm a girl I'm looked down upon. For the record, I can beat all of the guys in my clas in an arm wrestling match. People think all girls are weak. Well listen here. I can pick up two 50lb sacks of chicken feed and carry them down to the coop with out breaking a sweat. Hows that for weak? huh? Are you a horse lover? Good me to! ;-) People tell me I'm weird, and I say, "You just figured that out?" One of my best friends is a total wack job... but thats why I love her! LOL! (Em don't look at me like that! You ARE a total wack job!) I suffer from EOWSKD(Extream Obsession With Sterling Knight Disorder). If you also suffer from EOWSKD copy and paste this to your profile. (Now I have to admit I didn't make this up. Em did... srry Em can I steal this? Pleeeeeeease? Thankyou!) I have to bribe some of my friends, cough Em cough, not to hurt me for forcing them to do things... lol! Reasons why girls are the best 1.We got off the Titanic first 2. We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers. 3. Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin & gorgeous. Guys look like complete idiots in ours. 4. We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers. 5. We can cry and get off speeding fines. 6. We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central female figure in a computer game. 7. Taxis stop for us. 8. Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance. 9. We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing. 10. Free drinks, Free dinners, Free movies ... (you get the point). 11. We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay. 12. We can hug our friends without wondering if WE'RE gay. 13. New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life. 14. It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower. 15. We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves. 16. If we forget to shave, no one has to know. 17. We can congratulate our team-mate without ever touching her butt. 18. If we have a zit, we know how to conceal it. 19. We never have to reach down every so often to make sure our privates are still there. 20. If we're dumb, some people will find it cute. 21. We don't have to memorize Caddyshack or Fletch to fit in. 22. We have the ability to dress ourselves. 23. We can talk to people of the opposite sex without having to picture them naked.(We don't usually picture guys naked we picture what it would be like to kiss you then get over it and move on.) 24. If we marry someone 20 years younger, we're aware that we look like an idiot. 25. Our friends won't think we're weird if we ask whether there's spinach in our teeth. 26. There are times when chocolate really can solve all your problems. 27. We'll never regret piercing our ears. 28. We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes. 29. We know which glass was ours by the lipstick mark. Emmett's the strongest. But only Jasper can sit in a corner and STILL make everyone feel jealous. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton "Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks "Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you! Girls Don't realize these things: I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry But most of all I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm Sorry I'm sorry Ladies always complain and gripe to their friends that there is never any good guys out there, and they always end up with assholes who mistreat them. Well ladies, next time you're complaining, maybe look up to see who you're complaining to, maybe that special someone is right there hanging on your every word as usual, screaming in his head "Why won't you give me a chance?" If you're a guy and you agree with this letter, copy and paste into your profile as 'I'm sorry' If You're one of the FEW girls with enough BALLS to copy and paste this into your profile, and you would never make your guy feel this way, copy and paste into your profile as 'Girls Don't Realize These Things' At age 8, your dad buys you an ice cream. You thanked him by dripping When you were 9 years old, he paid for piano lessons. You thanked him When you were 10 years old he drove you all day, from soccer to When you were 11 years old, he took you and your friends to When you were 12 years old, he warned you not to watch When you were 13, he suggested a haircut that was in fashion. When you were 14, he paid for a month away at summer camp. When you were 15, he came home from work, looking for a hug. When you were 16, he taught you how to drive his car. You When you were 17, he was expecting an important call. You thanked him When you were 18, he cried at your high school graduation. You thanked When you were 19, he paid for your college tuition, drove you to campus When you were 25, he helped to pay for your wedding, and he told you When you were 50, he fell ill and needed you to take care of him . You And then, one day, he quietly died. And everything you never did came If you love your dad, post this on your profile FRIENDS/BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool withyou at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up! FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste! FRIENDS: Would read ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crap because they know it's what they act like or their own best friend/s act like. Friends: Would cry at the friendship song at graduation. Best Friends: Wouldn't cause you know you'll always be together. Friends: Would clap while you dance the Thriller in the middle of a party by yourself. Best Friends: Would be right behind you singing along. Friends: Would call you if a family member died. Best Friends: Would be there at your side for the wake. Friends: Would tell you not to go bungy jumping. Best Friends: Would tell you "Are you ready yet?!" Friends: Would ask you what Vocaloid is. Best Friends: Would tell you Vocaloids you've never even heard of. Friends: Would call you weird for thinking magic is real. Best Friends: Would say, "Let's go visit Hogwarts and Narnia again." Friends: Would ask you your favorite movie. Best Friends: Would bring random movies over your house knowing that they you'll love them. Friends: Would lie to you about a haircut. Best Friends: Would break into your house in the middle of the night and try to fix it. Friends: Would talk to you during weekends. Best Friends: Would talk to you 24/7 and call you every ten minutes. Friends: Would tell you you're a good artist. Best Friends: Would say, "Your better than Leonardo Davinci! Become famous!" Friends: Would take you to someone's party. Best Friends: Would throw a party just for you. Friends: Would ask you what your political party is. Best Friends: Would tell you to make up your own. Friends: Would ask you if they could listen to your iPod. Best Friends: Would take your iPod for a day and have their own playlist. Friends: Would comfort you over the phone when he breaks up with you. Best Friends: Would bring you ice cream, cookie dough, and prank call your ex, making a bunch of cracks at him. Friends: Would ask if you like Hannah Montana or the Jonas Brothers. Best Friends: Would tell you, "Hannah was last month, this month is Nickelback, and NEXT month's Jonas Brothers!" Friends: Would tell you the guy's a jerk for dumping you. Best Friends: Would sneak into his house and dye his hair pink. Friends: Would tell you how awesome a movie was. Best Friends: Would be sitting with you outside the theater at midnight, waiting for the movie to premiere. Friends: Would bring you an autographed poster of your favorite celebrity. Best Friends: Would bring you your favorite celebrity for a day. Friends: Would complain about how boring classes are. Best Friends: Would plan with you about throwing stinkbombs through the teacher's living room window. Things to do on an Elevator 1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?" 2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off. 3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves. 4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral. 5) MEOW occasionally. 6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly 7) SAY -DING at each floor. 8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons. 9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button. 10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on." 11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?" 12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone. 13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space." 14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. 15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more. 16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones. 17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?" 18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!" 19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift. 20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers. 21) SWAT at flies that don't exist. 22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it. 106 WAYS TO GET KICKED OUT OF WALMART! 1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 6. Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift wrap. 7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially thin narrow aisles. 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 11. Get several of those frogs (that croak when somebody walks by) from the Garden Dept. and place in strategic locations throughout store. 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so long," etc. See if they play along to avoid embarrassment. 14. While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who BUYS this junk, anyway?" 15. Repeat Number 14 in the jewelry department. 16. Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you're taking it for a test drive. 17. Follow people through the aisles, always staying about five feet away. Continue to do this until they leave the department. 18. Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field. 19. As the cashier runs your purchases over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow. Magic!" 20. Put M&M's on layaway. 21. Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas. 22. Set up a tent in the camping department; tell others you'll only invite them in if they bring pillows from Bed and Bath. 23. Test the fishing rods and see what you can "catch" from the other aisles. 24. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 25. Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying,"I'm Batman. Come, Robin, to the Batcave!" 26. TP as much of the store as possible. 27. Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles. 28. Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down. Once accomplished, move on to a harder word such as 'Boobies' 29. When someone asks if you need help, begin to cry and ask, "Why won't you people just leave me alone?" 30. Make up nonsense products and ask newly hired employees if there are any in stock, i.e., "Do you have any Shnerples here?" 31. Take up an entire aisle in Toys by setting up a full scale battlefield with G.I. Joes vs. the X-Men. 32. Take bets on the battle described above. 33. Hold indoor shopping cart races. 34. Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from "Mission: Impossible." 35. Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and practically yell at him " I need some tampons!!" 36. Try on bras in the sewing/fabric department. 37. Try on bras over top of your clothes. 38. Attempt to fit into very large gym bags. 39. Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags, against their will. 40. Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies?" 41. Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store. 42. Two words: "Marco Polo." 43. Leave Cheerios in Lawn and Garden, pillows in the pet food aisle, etc. 44. "Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics, while headbanging & playing air guitar to Willie Nelson demos. (Bonus: Braid hair & tie bandanna around head). 45. Make a trail of lemon aid on the ground, leading to the restrooms. 46. When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word. 47. Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out. 48. When an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!" 49. Pay off layaways fifty cents at a time. 50. Drag a lounge chair on display over to the magazines and relax. If the store has a food court, buy a soft drink; explain that you don't get out much, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it. 51. Try putting different pairs of women's panties on your head and walk around the store casually. 52. Turn on toys that make noise or talk at random intervals, and leave them in strategic locations. 53. Leave small sacrifices or gifts in the hands of the mannequins. 54. Nonchalantly "test" the brushes and combs in Cosmetics. 55. When two or three people are walking ahead of you, run between them, yelling, "Red Rover!" 56. Look right into the security camera, and use it as a mirror while you pick your nose. 57. Set up another battlefield with GI Joes vs. Barbies. (Red lipstick might give an interesting effect!!) 58. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are. 59. While no one's watching quickly switch the men's and women's signs on the doors of the rest room. 60. Fill your cart with boxes of condoms, and watch everyone's jaws drop when you attempt to buy them. 61. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna" look with various funnels. 62. Hide in the clothing racks and when people browse through, say things like "the fat man walks alone," and scare them into believing that the clothes are talking to them. 63. Beg the greeter for those happy-face stickers. Stick them on your face, then stand next to him and copy whatever he says when customers walk in. 64. Go to an empty checkout stand and try to check people out. 65. Get a stuffed animal and go to the front of the store and begin stroking it lovingly, saying "Good girl, good bessie." 66. Try on every pair of shoes in the shoe department. Take the paper from the boxes and throw it in various aisles. 67. Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon. 68. If you're female: Take some men's clothes to the mens fitting room and ask to try them on. Act shocked and insist But I AM a man if the attendant says anything. If you're a man, vice versa. 69. Get boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking. 70. Lurk in the cosmetics department and spray people with a bottle of strong perfume as they walk by. Lean in and sniff the, then wave your hand in front of your nose and saying "P-eeew! That perfume stinks!" 71. Plastic fake-vomit and fake-dog doo can be utilized effectively here. 72. Go outside to the payphones, call the store and ask them to page customer "Hugh G'butt" 73. Stand in front of the Preparation H. Ask everyone who walks by which hemmorhoid remedy they prefer, then launch into a detailed description of your own problem. 74. While you're doing that, have white-out & markers handy. Modify the boxes of "Anusol" by covering up the "OL" on the logo. 75. Crawl around on the ground and pretend that your a cat. Meow when people walk by, rub up against their legs, etc. 76. Take a chair to Electronics, tune in all the TV's to Young & the Restless, and watch while sobbing loudly. 77. Chase your friends up and down aisles with those electric cars. Make sure to tell your friends to act like they don't know you. 78. Ride the little rides for toddlers. Fit the character; if on a horse, act like a cowboy, etc. If a little kid comes over wanting to use it, start crying. 79. One word: STREAK! 80. Excesively use anything thing that says "Try Me". 81. Start pocketing any and all free samples. 82. Draw mustaches on all the pictures and mannequins. 82. Walk up to the customer service and say "Hello, I'll have a Quarter Pounder with cheese, large fries and a diet coke." Then go to Mc Donald's and try to return a toaster. 83. Start to madly scratch yourself and walk up to people asking where the rash cream and lice remedies are. 84. When alone, have loud conversations with your "multiple personalities". 85. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10". 86. Try on crazy costumes and walk casually through the store. 87. Act suspicious and stick your arm in your jacket when leaving store. As you're walking through the doors act like you're expecting the alarms to go off. Then quickly look around you to see who's watching and run away as fast as your can. 88. Balance EVERYTHING you see on the tips of your finger, your nose, your forehead, and the top of your head while singing the circus song. 89. Put jockstraps in the lingerie department. 90. Put lingerie in the men's department. 91. Put super sexy women’s lingerie in old men's carts when they turn around. 92. Stand in the sock aisle, and give each package a stern lecture. 93. Spend hours staring at a little blinking light and say "blink" each time it blinks. Don't look away, just stay mesmerized. 94. Put condoms in the mannequin's hands, and cigarettes in their mouths.(Safety warning: Leave cigarettes unlit.) 95. In the Garden Dept., skip through the flowers while holding your arms out and "buzzing". 96. With friends, stage a "sit-in" in all the bean-bag chairs in Furniture Dept. 97. Walk up to a guy and say "It's YOU!! I haven't seen you in so long!!" and kiss him, then say "Why didn't you ever call me?" and walk away. Much more effective if you’re also a guy. 98. Stand next to a mannequin and pretend to be a mannequin too. Try to hold the same position for as long as possible. 99. Start singing oldies songs in the megaphone. 100. Ask everyone in "Electronics" "Do you know what CD this song is on? I don't know the name but it goes like this:". Then sing loudly, and don't stop until somebody throws you out. 101. Bark while trying on dog collars. Have a friend lead you around on a leash. Better yet, whinny while trying on horse tack and a friend holds the reins. 102. Take fishing rods & a fishing hat from Sporting Goods to the Pet Department. Pretend to fish in the goldfish tanks. 103. With friends, form a line that leads to nothing. Act like you're all excited about something. See how many people who walk by will come stand in it, too. (Note - This really works) 104. Steal a Walmart shirt, and the possibilities are endless.BONUS Attempt all of the above during the same visit. 105. Get a group of friends and start a fashon show modling lingerie you can still do this iif your a guy! ;-) 106. Walk through the store and start talking to yourself loud enough for everybody to hear; "I'll bet they have better prices at TARGET!" 107. If you are a girl; Loudly preform the following skit with another friend who is also a girl. Remember to talk loudly and in girly voices; Girl 1: OMG! So insert friends name here how did it go with insert guy's name here last night? I mean you... him... all alone in that big big house... WHAT HAPPENED! I absolutly HAVE to know! Girl 2: WE DID IT! I mean it took a bit of persuasion but WE DID IT! I finally got him to play checkers with me! He was really good to! Girl 1: OMG Seriously? EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FIN They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton "Tragedy is when I cut my finger, Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die"- Mel Brooks "Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something." I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends. Best friends are the people that know all about and still put up with you! I dream of a better tomorrow--when chickens can cross the road and not have their motives questioned. You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? I dont have a short attention span, i just...oh look, a kitty! I live in my own little world, but it's ok, everyone knows me here :) I live in a world full of bunnies and unicorns...but the bunnies are cutting themselves and the unicorns are acting all emo again. I run with scissors, it makes me feel dangerous. I ran with scissors, and lived Everything here is eatable. I'm eatable, but that my children is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies. An apple away keeps the doctor away, if well aimed. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit. (Carlisle Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic... How is it possible to have a civil war? When French people swear do they say pardon my English? Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"? 364 days of the year, parents tell their kids not to take candy from strangers, yet on Halloween, its encouraged! Why is that? Why do people say, "You can't have your cake and eat it too"? Why would someone get cake if they can't eat it? They All Made Me laugh, if some made you laugh, add it too your profile! If HATE is a strong word... why do we toss around LOVE like it's nothing? The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight. Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is when you draw Edward's face and hot bod all over your Advanced Placement United States History notes when you should be concentrating on the APUSH final the next day. Crazy is when you yell at fictional book characters for doing stupid things or deciding that you'll give a friend all of the answers for the homework for the rest of your life if he'll find you and Edward. Crazy is when you decide to hunt down fictional book characters and kill them for hurting other fictional book characters. Crazy is when your mother has to pry Twilight and or New Moon from your fingertips and you start to sop. Crazy is when you are planning your revenge on people like Victoria and Jacob Black! Crazy is when you just said something very serious then burst out laughing. ~Crazy is when you must have your iPod by you, to listen to your favorite band, 24/7. (I need my iPod.) Crazy is when you and your BFF go to pizza, eat pizza, then buy 2 bouncy balls, then go home and then lose one of them and go back into town to go buy more but you bring your little brother to buy them because you think it's weird just to go into the pizzeria to buy bouncy balls and not pizza or anything. Crazy is when you go to the pizza place just to play the boat game in the arcade with your friend. Crazy is when you throw a fit because you were kicked off the computer by your little sister (with your dad's permission of course) because she says your on there to much. Crazy is when you and your best friend are on the phone, reading fanfiction together for hours. Crazy is when you and your best friend have a spitting contest hanging upside-down from her front porch. Crazy is when you walk all the way down to the market to get two soda for a burping contest. Crazy is when you call your friend and ask her if she's seen the new SWAC commercial for 'Guess Who's Coming to Gues-Star' and when she hasn't you both put the tv on the two different channels waiting for the commercial. Crazy is when you turn on the tv to look for a certain commercial but you don't want to watch the show. Crazy is when you try to convince you mother that the mountain dew is actually pee and she shouldn't drink it or get rid of it cuz that's your job. Crazy is when you spend hours google wacking(PM me if you don't know what that is. =D). If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something(s) crazy you've done to the list! If it's Ittalisized I've done it. =P FEMALE COMEBACKS!! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: When she walks away from you mad, When she stares at your mouth, When she pushes you or hits you, When she starts cussing at you, When she's quiet, When she ignores you, When she pulls away, When you see her at her worst, When you see her start crying, When you see her walking, When she's scared, When she lays her head on your shoulder, When she steals your favorite shirt, When she teases you, When she doesn't answer for a long time, When she looks at you with doubt, When she says that she loves you, When she grabs at your hands, When she bumps into you, When she tells you a secret, When she looks at you in your eyes, When she misses you, When you break her heart, When she says its over, When she reposts this bulletin, Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything.- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored and sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up to you crying, the first thing you say is; Girls Find the guy that calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who'll lay under the stars for hours and listen to your heart beat. Or will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy that kisses your forehead, who keeps your picture in his wallet, who wants to show you off to the world even when your in sweatpants, who holds your hand in front of all his friends, who thinks your beautiful without makeup, one who is constantly telling you of how much he cares and how is lucky to have you, THE one who turns to his friends and says THAT'S HER Sonny: But Chad! That's not funny! If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. If you DO annoy people for te heck of it copy and paste this to you profile. If you think fighting is fun, but war is pointless, copy this into your profile. Just the stone cold truth of our great friendship. 1. When you are sad -- I will jump on the person who made you sad like a spider monkey jacked up on mountain dew. 2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you. 3. When you smile -- I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in. 4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get. 5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how much Worse it could be until you quit whining. 6. When you are confused -- I will use little words. 7. When you are sick -- Stay away from me until you are well. Again. I don't want whatever you have. 8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at you. 9. This is my oath... I pledge it to the end. 'Why?' you may ask; 'because you are my friend'. I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not. My favorite word is sarcasm. "I know water doesn't bite! What a stupid thing to say! Water doesn't have to bite you! You drown in it you moron!" Make a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day but set the man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life It's all fun and games until the other person loses their sanity. I've got things to break, people to laugh at, objects to drool over and who knows what else. Percussive maintenance - the art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again A piece of cheese could come up with a plan more cunning than that. I'm not insane... i just do whatever the voices tell me to. i dont suffer from insanity i enjoy evry minute of it Guys should be like lattes-rich,strong,and hot Boys are like trees-they take 50 years to grow up. Life isn't passing me by; it's trying to run me over. Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. Was that an earthquake, or did I just rock your world? Why are the Force and duct tape the same?- Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon. You say I'm not cool. But cool is another word for cold. If I'm not cold, I'm hot. I know I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it. I'm so gangster, I carry a squirt gun. I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? When I say LOL I'm not laughing out loud. I just have nothing better to say. I was gifted, but the psychiatrist took away my powers. BABY I LUV U You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you jump out a window , Ima miss your sorry ass. I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday. "Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide. I don't obsess! I think intensely. Be who you are and say what you feel for those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind- Dr.Suess If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. If you actually know what a semi-colon is, copy and paste this into your profile. Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs cpoy and ptsae Are children who act in rated 'R' movies allowed to see them? Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese; there are five people in my family so it must be one of them. it's ether my mum or dad, or my older brother Joey, or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu, ( I think it's Joey.shhhh) Isn't Disney World just a people trap operated by a mouse? Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’? Why is it that some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down? Muffins are just ugly cupcakes...but we love them anyways It is wise to walk a mile in a man's shoes before judging him... That way you're a mile away and you have his shoes. "Never hire a colorblind electrician." "If you are good you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good you will get out of it." "Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject." "What happens if you get scared half to death twice?" "A conclusion is the part where you got tired of thinking." "Maybe this world is another planet's hell." "Sometimes you're the windshield, but sometimes you gotta be the bug." "I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear into my crib." "Always listen to experts- they'll tell you confidently what can't be done and why. Then go ahead and do it." "After all is said and done a heck of a lot more is said than done." "At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote." "Happiness is your dentist telling you “it won't hurt a bit,” and then he catches his hand in the drill." "The good news is that you may have screwed up my past and created my present but you have no control over my future." Let's play truth or dare! Or maybe just dare, because nobody seems to tell the truth anymore. "In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move." There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. If you can't convince them, confuse them. If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to. War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher. War is God's way of teaching Americans about geography. Basic Definitions of Science: If it's green or wiggles, it's biology. If it stinks, it's chemistry. If it doesn't work, it's physics. Those who fail history class are doomed to repeat it. If Patrick Henry thought that taxation without representation was bad, he should see how bad it is with representation. You know it's going to be a bad day when you jump out of bed and miss the floor. The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four Americans is suffering from some form of mental illness. Think of your three best friends. If they are okay, then it's you. The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself? The reason grandparents and grandchildren get along so well is that they have a common enemy. Amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic. People who say it can't be done should not interrupt those of us who are doing it. Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write. You can't wait for inspiration; you have to go after it with a club. You don't write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say. The act of writing is the act of discovering what you believe. Asking a writer what he thinks about criticism is like asking a lamppost what it thinks about dogs. Always forgive your enemies- nothing annoys them so much. My friends are the type of people who would try to drown a fish, but I love them anyway. Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask, "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "This is going to take more than one night." The buddy system is essential to survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at. SARCASM is just another free service I offer. I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless. I'm not ALWAYS late. Sometimes i just don't show up. You're not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately. A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking Education is important; school however, is another matter Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them more Join The Army, Visit exotic places, meet strange people, and then kill them. Boys are like purses: cute, full of crap, and always replaceable Boys are like skateboards; they can go fast but usually there pretty slow. If at first you don't succeed, don't try skydiving. I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse Evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't. I can only please on person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow's not looking good, either. Don't follow in my footsteps; I tend to walk into walls. Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people. There are three kinds of people in the world; ones that can count and ones that can't count. I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive. I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS! If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss. Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that. Trying is the first step toward failure. When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out if its butt”? Dream big dreams, because little dreams have no magic. Ooooo...a life. Where can I download one? I apologize, do you want me to mean it too? Forgiveness is the scent a rose leaves on the heel that crushes it. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill themselves, is it considered a hostage situation? "Sometimes I wonder 'why is the Frisbee getting bigger?' then I get hit in the face." "The dinosaurs extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide." "All those who have telekinesis, raise my hand." "Doctors say I have multiple personality disorder. We disagree with that." “I am sick of people having a near death experience and saying they saw the light. You know what the paramedics do when they first arrive? THEY SHINE A LIGHT IN YOUR EYE! That’s not GOD…it’s a MAGLIGHT!” ~Tony V. You know you need a boyfriend when cartoon characters start looking amazingly HOT! Fake is the new trend. I guess everyone’s in style. So what I’ve got a smile on, but it’s hiding the quiet superstitions in my head. Yes I may be smiling, but I’m secretly laughing at your face. I didn’t say that it was your fault…I said I was going to blame you. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted then used against you. I love my computer, because my friends live in it. I'm the person your mother warned you about If you have noticed this notice you will have noticed that this notice is not worth noticing Eight more days and I can start telling the truth again. Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research. I hear voices, and they don't like you. Is it possible to scream at the bottom of your lungs? Can't anybody who has a job go in the "employees only" doors at restaurants? Shouldn’t they be more specific and say "employees of this place only"? Do not disturb I’m disturbed enough already On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Funny Stuff: --This or That-- Fruit or Vegetable: FRUIT! Lights On or Lights Off: Off Cookies or Muffins: COOKIES!! Winter Break or Spring Break: Winter break (It's longer DUH!) --Have You Ever-- Danced in a public place: YEP! Twas fun Talked to someone you don't know: Good times good times Done drugs: No Funny Stuff: When Obama tells his children to clean their rooms, he ends with, "I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message!" An apple a day keeps the doctor away. But if the doctor is cute, screw the fruit! I used to care, but I take a pill for that now. I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy! I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. Evening news is where they say, "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it's not. The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide. Labels are for cans, and in case you haven't noticed, I'm not a can! Excuse me. Have you seen my sanity? I think I've lost it... Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us how to walk and talk, then the rest of our lives telling us to sit down and shut up. They say, "Guns don't kill people. People kill people." Well, I think the gun helps. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. Too often, we lose sight of life's simple pleasures. Remember, when someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles in your face to frown, BUT it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and bitch slap that asshole upside the head Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe. REMEMBER WHEN .. OK since you've been patient and read this whole thing you get a digital cookie. There you go. Did I mention it's invisable? If you liked my profile check out www.fanfiction.net/~thesoapgirl it's Em's profile! you'll love it! Em and I also have one that we share www.fanfiction.net/~2strangersrockingyourworld i think... lol if it doesn't work pm me and we'll go from there! LOL! |
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