HI I AM MOE and no im not a guy its just the nick name my lil cuz gave me shes actually at my house alot its almost like she lives here lol

well obviously i go to palermo middle school and im in the band (yes i am a combo of book worm band geek and nerd lol)so obviouslt i thinck my band rocks socks. oh and i didnt come up whith the name by friend from a few of my classes came up with it.

I am 13 in 8th grade

proud to be a wierd

youll never believe it, but its true so i say

a wierdo is a friend a pal or a creepy guy on the street

and if you start to talck to the pal of friend im shure youll have so many laughs youll pee you pants

the wierdo on the side of the side of i dont recamend talcking to him he has sum issues

favorite books

MAximum ride all the way

great and terrible beauty

HUNGER GAMES

harry potter

city of glass

last apprentice

secret garden

tricksters choice

percy jackson

cirque du freack

vampirates

alex rider

the lost books

please note that these arnt all my favorite books and thier not listed in any order

Just a selection of funky quotes I thought were interesting so I stole them from other people and put them on my profile...I mean I found them :)

Friends bail you out of jail - best friends are in the room next to you going "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

People say "Guns don't kill people people kill people." Well I think guns help. If you stood there next to someone and yelled BANG! I don't think you'd kill to many people.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder

There's nothing wrong with arguing with you. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

Heaven doesn't want me and hell is afraid I'll take over.

Of course I'm talking to myself. Who else can I trust?

Let me know if anything I say offends you, I might want to offend you later.

One way to figure out how things work, push all the buttons!

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you just what you find so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob-fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song plays. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumb-war with yourself (i find that i am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

People who say anything's possible haven't tried to slam a revolving door.

Don't run in the school hall, gliding is more fun!

Don't hate yourself in the morning-sleep till noon.

When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then laugh while people try to figure out what the hell you did.

One day your prince will come.Mine?Oh,he just took a wrong turn,got lost,and is to stubborn to ask directions

If you wish that you could fly so much it hurts, copy and paste this into your profile.

People of the world who HATE math UNITE! If you suck at math and think anyone who likes math is weird copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever laughed at something that wasn't even funny copy and paste this into your profile.

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been recieved.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

Wow my wish came true.. I have wings! lmao

SOMETHING I KNOW...FRIENDSHIP IS LIKE PEEING YOUR PANTS. EVERYONE CAN SEE IT, BUT ONLY YOU CAN FEEL THE TRUE WARMTH.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

A friend will bail you outta jail, a best friend will be sitting next to you in the cell saying either, "We really screwed up," or "That was fun!"

A friend will walk into your house without ringing the doorbell or knocking, a best friend will walk in and yell,"I'm home!"

A friend will call your parents by their first names, a best friend will call them Mom and Dad.

A friend will tell you that your a great singer even if you're terrible, a best friend will tell you that you suck.

A friend will give you a shoulder to cry on when he breaks your heart, a best friend will go up to him and say, "It's because you're gay, isnt it?"

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid...

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen

Good friends will pick you up when your fall, BEST FRIENDS will push you back down and laugh

Good friends ask why you're crying, BEST FRIENDS already have the shovel ready to bury the loser that made you cry

Good friends will say you can do better, BEST FRIENDS will call him up and say " Write your will, you have seven days "

A good friend will bail you out of jail, a BEST FRIEND will be sitting next to you in your cell going "Man that was fun!"

A good friend will say that you are over reacting, a BEST FRIEND will be laughing there butt off saying "Someones going to get it!"

1. When you are sad, I will help you get drunk and plot revenge against the sorry bastard.

2. When you are blue, I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile, I will know you are plotting something that I must be involved in.

4. When you are scared, I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused, I will use little words.

7. When you are sick, stay the heck away from me until you are well. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall, I will point and laugh at your clumsy butt.

. (Yeah, that may be an unheard of concept to you, but I do care about some things!!)

Put an X if you have done these things things.

x You've run into a glass/screen door.

x Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking.

x You have jumped out of a moving vehicle( the sad thing about this is that my friends moms forgot about me so i jumped into the moving car and then fell out... ouch)

x You have thought of something funny and laughed, then people gave you weird look
x You have run into a tree/bush.
x You know that it IS possible to lick your elbow
x You have tried to lick your elbow
x You never knew that the Alphabet and Twinkle , Twinkle Little _Star have the same tune.
x You just tried to sing them
x You have tripped on your shoelace and fallen.

x You have seen the Matrix and still don't get it. (not really, it's all so confusing! Though the last time i saw it i was like, 7)
You've never seen the Matrix.

You type only with two fingers.
x You have accidentally caught something on fire (cough, accident?)

x You tried to drink out of a straw, but it went into your nose/eyes.

You have caught yourself drooling.
You have fallen asleep in class and started to talk/drool, or snore.
x Sometimes you just stop thinking.
x You are telling a story and forget what you were talking about.

x People often shake their heads and walk away from you.

x You are often told to use your 'inside voice'. (ALWAYS)
x You use your fingers to do simple math.

x You have eaten a bug (ew, yes, unfortunately i have)
x You are taking this test when you should be doing something more important.

x You have put your clothes on backwards or inside out, and didn't realize it. (Multiple times at school =S)

x You've looked all over for something and realized it was in your hand.

You forward forwards because you are scared that what they say _will happen to you if you don 't ._
x You break a lot of things. (Jess, remember Science?)
Your friends know not to use big words around you.
x You tilt your head when you're confused.
x You have fallen out of your chair before.

When you're lying in bed, you try to find pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
x The word 'um' is used many times a day

What a Boyfriend SHOULD do: (the one's bolded are the ones i think are the most important!!!)

When she walks away from you mad, follow her
When she stare's at your mouth, Kiss her
When she pushes you or hit's you, Grab her and dont let go
When she start's cussing at you, Kiss her and tell her you love her
When she's quiet, Ask her what's wrong
When she ignore's you, Give her your attention
When she pull's away, Pull her back
When you see her at her worst, Tell her she's beautiful
When you see her start crying, Just hold her and dont say a word
When you see her walking, Sneak up and hug her waist from behind
When she's scared, Protect her
When she lay's her head on your shoulder, Tilt her head up and kiss her
When she steal's your favorite hat, Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night
When she tease's you, Tease her back and make her laugh
When she doesnt answer for a long time, reassure her that everything is okay
When she look's at you with doubt, Back yourself up
When she grab's at your hands, Hold her's and play with her fingers
When she bump's into you, bump into her back and make her laugh
When she tell's you a secret, keep it safe and untold
When she looks at you in your eyes, don't look away until she does
When you break her heart, the pain never really goes away
When she says its over, she still wants you to be hers
Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything.
When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go
When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you
Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her (F*@! that man!)
Call her before you sleep and after you wake up
Treat her like she's all that matters to you.
Tease her and let her tease you back
Stay up all night with her when she's sick
Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid
Give her the world
Let her wear your clothes
When she's bored and sad, hang out with her
Let her know she's important
Kiss her in the pouring rain
When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is;
"Who am i killing today babe?"

Perfect guy right there ^^^^^^ hahahaha=))

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle) "I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole."

This is the stupid test! 100 stupid things that people do! (BOLDED)

1. Forgot to put the lid on the blender, turned it on, and had everything fly out
2. Gotten your head stuck between the stair rails (...no comment...)
3. Broken a chair by leaning back in it
4. Had gum fall out of your mouth while you were talking
5. Choked on your own spit while you were talking
6. Had people tell you that you are blonde when you're not/or had had people tell you that your blonde highlights are going to your head
7. Been caught staring at your crush by your crush him/herself
8. Have looked for something for at least 10 min then realized it was in your hand
9. Tried to push open a door that said pull
10. Tried to pull open a door that said push
11. Have actually believed someone when they said that they knew how to make a love potion (I was like, FIVE)
12. Have hit yourself in the process of trying to hit something else
13. Have tripped and fallen UP the stairs
14. Have actually exploded marshmallows in the microwave
15. Have gotten gum stuck in your hair
16. Had gum fall out of your mouth while trying to blow a bubble
17. Have had the juice from a mini tomato squirt out and hit somebody else when you bit into it
18. Have had your drink come out your nose because you were laughing so hard
19. Have called one of your good friends by the wrong name
20. Have skinned your toe because you were playing soccer or football with flip flops on or you were barefoot
21. Have put a sticker on your forehead, forgot it was there, and went out in public with it on
22. Have fallen out of a moving vehicle.
23. Have run into a closed door
24. Have almost shot someone with a real gun while trying to shoot something else (my uncle when we went shooting in NZ…)
25. Searched for your cell phone while you were talking on it
26. It has taken you longer than 5 min to get a joke
27. Have gotten your hair stuck in a blow dryer
28. Have gotten your hair stuck in a fan
29. Tripped on a crack in the sidewalk
30. Said o'clock after saying how many min after the hour, example: 5:30 o'clock, or 6:15 o'clock
31. After someone told you that there was gum on the ground, you stepped in it
32. Put on a white shirt even though you already knew it was raining outside
33. Have ever walked up to a stranger because you thought they were someone else
34. Ever been kicked out of a grocery store/off their property
35. Touched the stove, the curling iron, a hot pan, etc on purpose even though you knew it was hot
36. Picked out your change of clothes, took off the ones you had on and then accidentally put the old clothes back on
37. Wondered why something wasn't working then realized it wasn't plugged in
38. Put the cereal in the fridge, or put the milk in the cupboard
39. Walked into a pole
40. Wore two different earrings or shoes by accident
41. Put your shirt on backwards/inside-out without realizing it then left your house
42. Tried to take a picture of your/someone's eye with the flash on
43. Gotten a ring stuck on your finger because you put it on even though you knew it was too small
44. Walked out of the bathroom with toilet paper stuck to your shoe without realizing it (only at home…)
45. Went to go do something/go get something, then when you got there forgot what is was that you were going to do. (I do that all the time.)
46. Picked up someone else's drink and drank out of it by accident when your drink was right next to it
47. Fallen out of your chair while trying to pick something up
48. Have poked yourself in the eye
49. Have gotten in the shower with your socks still on (yeah, I can’t say I’ve ever done that…)
50. Melted your hairbrush while blow drying your hair, (You can do that?)
51. Have done enough stupid things to make a test
52. Have accidentally stabbed yourself with a pencil
53. Have sung the wrong verse to a song without realizing it
54. Have given an odd answer to a question because you didn't hear the question in the first place and didn't feel like asking what it was.
55. Told someone you were the wrong age because you seriously forgot how old you were
56. Looked into an overhead light purposefully while it was on
57. Got up early and got ready for school/work/meeting, then realized that you didn't have school/work/meeting that day.
58. Have tripped on a cord after someone told you to watch out for it
60. Have ever laughed at a joke that no one else thought was funny or a movie
61. Done the Macarena to the electric slide or vice versa
62. Said funner, then had someone make fun of you for it
63. Have repeated yourself at least twice in the same sentence
64. Brought up an inside joke with the wrong person
65. Didn't do the backside of an assignment because you thought that there wasn't one because you had already looked and forgot that there was another side
66. Did more work than you had to on an assignment because you didn't read the directions
67. Corrected someone's grammar/pronunciation then figured out that you were the one that was wrong
68. Put something in a special place so that you would remember where it was, then forgot where you put it
69. Put ice in your drink after the glass was full of liquid and had it splash out-
70. Told a lie then forgot what it was that you had said and got caught
71. When wearing goggles, you pulled them away from your face and let go so that they would come back and snap you in the face
72. Forgot to make sure that the lamp was off before you replaced the light bulb
73. Ran into a door jam
74. Told someone that you hardly ever do stupid things, then immediately did/said something stupid
75. Told someone to watch out for something, then you were the one that ran into it
76. Have purposely licked playground sand
77. Have purposely and repeatedly flicked yourself with a rubber band
78. Gotten so hyper that someone actually thought you were drunk when you weren't (ALL THE TIME)
79. Have been so hyper you actually scared people
80. Put duct tape on your body then pulled it off to see if it would pull your hairs out
81. Put duct tape on your hair/someone else's hair then pulled it off
82. Put a clothes pin/hair clip on your lip, figured out that it hurt, then did it again
83. Sat and wondered why men’s dress shirts have a loop on the back.
84. Made up a code name for someone so that you could talk about them to someone else and no one else would know who you were talking about
85. Have gotten a hairbrush stuck in your hair
86. Used the straw to blow the straw wrapper at someone.
87. Shaved your tongue because you thought your taste buds looked weird (Who does that!??)
88. When at a restaurant/cafeteria, you used your spoon to fling stuff at (I hate my brother…)

89. Have flung forks at people in a restaurant/cafeteria
90. Sucked on a cup and got a hickey from it. (yeah, no…)
91. As you were writing, you moved your head back and forth with your pen/pencil
92. Have drawn finger puppets on your fingers then named them
93. Have wrapped someone in a roll of toilet paper
94. Have used somebody else's toothbrush without even realizing it wasn't yours
95. Started telling a story and forget what you were talking about or what happened in the story
96. When you saw a ‘beware of dog’ sign, you told the owners to beware of the dogs not realizing they owned the dogs
97. You have spelled your own name wrong before
98. When lying in bed you look for pictures in the texture of the ceiling.
99. Have used your calculator as a form of communication in class
100. Have popped a balloon in your mouth

...wow...that's a lot... 94??? =S LOL

I am the girl that doesn't go to school dances, or games, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the girl that people look through when I say something. I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on MySpace, or talking to a girlfriend on a cell phone or regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain. BUT I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn’t care if people call her weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Twilight and Maximum Ride, who can express herself better with words than actions, who doesn't need a guy to complete her, and knows the importance of the little things. Copy and paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest time that they are unique but not alone: Iheartjake, TeamJacob101, Boysareadrag, The Dawn Is Breaking, twilite addict, The Lonely Teenager, AliceDaSpaz, Skittle.Rocke, Silent_Broken_Heart, St. Fang of Boredom, FangsKidnapperInsertEvilLaugh, Erica126

╔╗╔═╦╗ put this on your page
║╚╣║║╚╗ if you love to laugh
╚═╩═╩═╝

Girls are like apples

on trees. The best ones

are at the top of the tree.

The boys don't want to reach

for the good ones because they

are afraid of falling and getting hurt.

Instead, they just get the rotten apples

from the ground that aren't as good,

but easy. So the apples at the top think

something is wrong with them, when in

reality, they're amazing. They just

have to wait for the right boy to

come along, the one who's

brave enough to

climb all

the way

to the top

of the tree.

I am not afraid of the dark,

I am afraid of what is lurking in it.

I am not afraid of heights,

I am afraid of falling.

I am not afraid of falling in love,

I am afraid of not being loved back.

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot,

Who calls you back when you hang up on him,

Who will stay awake just to watch you sleep.

Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead,

Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats,

Who holds your hand in public and in front of his friends and family.

Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he loves you and how lucky he is to have you.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

When she walks away from you mad: Follow her

When she stares at your mouth: Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you: Grab her and don't let go

When she start's cussing at you: Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet: Ask her whats wrong

When she ignores you: Give her your attention

When she pull's away: Pull her back
When you see her at her worst: Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying: Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking: Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared: Protect her

When she lays her head on your shoulder: Tilt her head up and kiss her

When she steal's your favorite hat: Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you: Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesnt answer for a long time: reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt: Back yourself up

When she says that she likes you: she really does more than you could understand

When she grabs at your hands: Hold hers and play with her fingers

When she bump's into you: bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret: keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes: dont look away until she does

When she misses you: she's hurting inside

When you break her heart: the pain never really goes away

When she says its over: she still wants you to be hers

When she reposts this bulletin: she wants you to read it -

Stay on the phone with her even if shes not saying anything. - When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go- When she says she's ok dont believe it, talk with her- because 10 yrs later she'll remember you- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her- Call her before you sleep and after you wake up- Treat her like she's all that matters to you.- Tease her and let her tease you back.- Stay up all night with her when she's sick.- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think its stupid.- Give her the world.- Let her wear your clothes.- When she's bored or sad, hang out with her.- Let her know she's important.- Kiss her in the pouring rain.- When she runs up at you crying, the first thing you say is; "Who's ass am I kicking babe?"

"Man, as long as he lives, is immortal. One minute before his death he shall be immortal. But one minute later, God wins. " - Elie Wiesel

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. " - Mark Twain

"Two men look out a window. One sees mud, the other sees the stars." - Oscar Wilde

"Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we've been waiting for. We are the change that we seek." - Barack Obama

"I think that the only reason people hold onto memories so tight is because memories are the only things that dont change; when everybody else does." - Unkown

"I am the author of my life. Unfortunately I'm writing in pen and I can't erase my mistakes."- Unkown

A girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle

Girl: Slow down, I'm scared!

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared.

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: I love you, now slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.

She gives him a big hug

Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me.

In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love.

25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next
week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the
store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught t me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck k!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't
have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance that little indestructible black box is?

Can fat people go skinny-dipping?

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

So what's the speed of dark?

How come abbreviated is such a long word?

Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a Train stops On my desk, I have a work station..

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?

Do Lipton employees take coffee breaks?

Should women put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . . write to these men?

How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?

Why can't you find fresh sardines in the fish market?

Why do so many old people eat at cafeterias?

Why does an "X" stand for a kiss?

Why does the word "Filipino" start with the letter F ?

Why are the copyright dates on movies and television shows written in Roman numbers?

Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

He who laughs last didn't get it.

Rock beats paper. Always.

If Tylenol, Duct Tape, & a Band Aid can't fix it, you have a serious problem.

Emmett's the strongest, Edward's the fastest, but Jasper can sit alone in a corner and still make people jealous.

They laugh because we're losers... We laugh because they just figured it out.

The 50-50-90 rule: any time you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

The voices may not be real, but they have some pretty good ideas.

Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back. Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

Why be difficult, when, with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

Keep smiling; it makes people wonder what you're up to.

You have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

Chaos, panic, pandemonium. My work here is done.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Newsflash, Honey, I don't live to please you.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile. * Most likely to happen to me... actually it does happen quite frequetly.*

A friend will comfort you when he rejects you, Best Friend well go up to him and say "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will be there for you when he dumps you, Best Friend will call him and whisper "Seven days..."

A friend will help you up when you fall, Best Friend will laugh because she tripped me.

A friend helps you find you're prince charming; Best Friend kidnaps him and brings him to you.

A friend gives you there umbrella in the rain; Best Friend takes yours and runs away.

A friend helps you move, Best Friend helps you move the bodies

A friend well bail you out of jail, Best Friend is sitting next to you saying "That was Awesome!! Let’s do it again!!"

A friend knows a lot of things about you; Best Friend could right a very embarrassing biography of your live.

A friend will teach me how to drive; Best Friend will help me push the car in the lake so I can collect insurance.

A friend will go to the concert with me; Best Friend will kidnap the band with me.

A friend will hide me from the cops; Best Friend is the reason there after me.

A friend will let me make a fool of myself in public, Best Friend is making a fool of herself next to me.

Friends Fade, Best Friends are forever.

My best friend is insane, if you agree or if you have an insane friend than copy this to your profile.

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and noticed that he was the only black man there. As he sat down, he noticed a white man behind him.
The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up. He then said:
"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."
"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"And when you die you turn purple."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Copy this onto your profile and help stop racism (Yeah, I happen to be white, but I find this moving. Besides... I am like a rainbow. Pretty. haha. I am too vain.)

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile. (That depends. How much do you guys like chocolate?)

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. (Don't you hate that?)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever had a song in your head but can’t remember what it was called copy and paste this to your profile. (...I hate that too...)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. (Read through the whole night once. I was completely drained the next day. I finished the book though.)

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If your friends are WEIRD (But not as weird as you) put this on your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. (Both. I think I'm more though. It's a close call.)

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you have a teacher who doesn't know what the heck there doing and you hate them because they annoy you pastes this into your profile.

If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile. (Geez...I hope not. That would suck.)

If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I villa now destroy de Snickers bars!' then copy this to your profile! (Good times...good times.)

If your friend(s) think you’re crazy for reading a book about six flying kids (and their talking dog) and you don’t care copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile.

If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If you think Max and Fang should confess their love for each other, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs copy this into your profile. (Guess what's next...)

If you have ever tripped up the stairs copy this into your profile. (Heck yes! I'm just that awesome.)

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. (Like, ten times at this point. Maybe more.)

If you have ever burnt precooked food, copy and paste this into your profile. (Yep. I am physically unable to cook. Not even my dog will eat the dog food I give him)

If you are as bad a cook as Max, copy and paste this to your profile. (Nope, I'm worse)

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

if you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile.

If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. (That hurt.)

65 percent of teenagers would rather watch TV than read. If you are one of the 35 percent who would have their nose in a book, copy/paste this to your profile.

If you have ever yelled at and/or slapped an inanimate object from anger, paste this on your profile. (That's what a pillow's for.)

If you have a profile, paste this on your profile.

If you have any secrets, paste this on your profile.

If you are a girl, paste this on your profile.

If you're on the computer, paste this on your profile. (Nope, I'm just physic. Sarcasm, people. You've got to love it.)

If you have/ wish you had a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile.

If you’ve ever been yelled by your parents for reading too much, copy and paste this into your profile. (i read 2 days strate till i passed out 4am in the moring on a school day.)

If you aren't me, paste this on your profile. (I would really hope. You know I can charge you with identity theft. Haha... maybe, but I think it would be cool if there were two Ericas in the world. think of all the wonderful* possibilities. *Wonderful as in evil, chaotic, or any other synonym for that matter)

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination or something to that effect, copy and paste this into your profile. (Muahahaha!)

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

Copy pastes this to your profile if you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV.

If you’re a CHOC AHOLIC -TALK AHOLIC -OR A-SHOP AHOLIC then copy and paste this!

If you’ve ever wanted to go into a book and slap/ scream at a character copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile. (Well the pic. in my mind it totally drop dead gorgeous. He probably is...)

If you still laugh re-reading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile. (It is like I never read it before)

If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. (I would see the midnight showing)

If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile. (Nobody is completey normal. Nobody is completely sane. It is your personality.)

If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you could, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever shouted out the first thing that comes to mind, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever shouted a random thing and then gotten glared at copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are so cool that you actually read through all of these, copy and paste it to your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile. (Dude even I joke that I'm lucky I'm not in the nut house yet.)

If they are right...copy and paste this into your profile. (I am totally right all the time. No matter what. And I am crazy. I want to be an author when I grow up; it explains all the activity of my mind; the secret worlds no one knows about... forget you heard that!!)

If you think the world should have no violence, but probably will always have it, copy this into your profile. (I'm a pacifist, what can I say.)

If you believe that 42 percent of statistics are made up on the spot, C&P. (Haha I would totally do that just to throw people off)

If you wish that a fictional character was real, copy and pastes this to your profile. (totally)

90 of teens today would die if MySpace had a system failure and was completely destroyed. If you are one of the 10 that would be laughing, copy and paste this to your Profile.

If you think that Writer's Block sucks, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile.

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile. (Don't ask.)

If you go through profiles like mad, looking at all of the copy/pasty-thingies, and copy/paste every single one that has a remote chance of being interesting, fill up your profile to the limit, and continue doing it, copy and paste this to your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love copy and paste its, even though there useless, copy this in your profile.

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

if you are procrastinating doing work that you really should be doing right now, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile!

If you are in lama land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If you forgot your phone number when someone asks for it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a mind that you're sure no one will understand, copy this into your profile.

If, for no reason, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've ever been in an awkward situation before paste this.

If you've ever felt like something was watching you and then turned around to find nothing, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell and hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever heard the voices of the characters of the book you're reading in your head...copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to lick your elbow and knew that it was physically impossible, copy this to your profile.

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If you are really random put this on your profile

Put this in your profile if you know a person or two who needs to get squished by a bus... or Tyler Crowley's van

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the A morphs version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family act. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favourite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you don’t dance to avoid injury to yourself and those around you, copy this into your profile.

If someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a weird habit of writing inside jokes somewhere anyone can see, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever read/started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself on the head and/or banged your head on a table for no reason put this on your profile

If you're too busy petting your cat and/or reading fanfiction to finish one novel a day, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you could easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freaking' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile.

If you agree, that purple bunnies that are high on CATNIP and eat TACOS WILL rule the world, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever screamed at a book or the TV copy this!

If you are Homo sapiens, put this in your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when the ice cream truck comes down your street copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever done the evil laugh copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever started singing in a silent room copy this onto your profile.

If you think my long list of reasons you should copy and paste this onto your profile should stop, copy and paste this onto you profile.

If ya can't beat 'em, join 'em.
If ya can't join 'em, bribe 'em.
If ya can't bribe 'em, blackmail 'em.
If ya can't blackmail 'em, kill 'em.
If ya can't kill 'em, you're screwed.

Maximum Ride Crap…

What have you pulled?

If you have pulled a Max: You have made a snap decision and decided to do it without thinking it through first.

If you have pulled a Fang: You have sneaked up behind someone without them noticing, making it seem like you came out of nowhere.

If you have pulled an Iggy: You have run into an inanimate object without realizing it was there. This could include, poles, wall, doors, tables, etc.

If you have pulled a Nudge: You have talked about something nonstop for the past five minutes, not allowing anyone else to speak. This is also known as rambling.

If you have pulled a Gazzy: You have fared in a big group of people really loudly, and everyone could hear it and smell it.

If you have pulled an Angel: You have invaded someone else’s personal space, without any consideration for that person. You can also pull an Angel by gaining a whole lot of useless powers that you don't really need...but I highly recommend the first one.

If you have ever pulled any of these things stick this on your profile and write which ones you have pulled.

I’ve pulled a Max, Iggy, and Fang. I pull an Iggy ALL the time. I am such a clutz.

You Know You're Obsessed With Maximum Ride When...

1. You're friends think you're crazy for being obsessed with six flying kids and their talking dog.
2. You see someone in a white lab coat then run off screaming.
3. You've called one of your siblings/friends/family members Max, Fang, Iggy, Nudge, Gazzy, or Angel.
4. You refuse to talk to anyone who's named Ari.
5. You claim you have wings. (now see I dont do that but one of my freinds does. Im the only one at our school who gets the joke)
6. You drool when you hear the word 'Fang'.
7. You daydream about meeting the flock.
8. You've reread Maximum Ride about 3 times or more.
9. You look for the flock's theme songs and get excited when you find one that fits perfect.
10. You study about birds.
11. You hate science class/refuse to dissect any type of animal. (Well, kinda. We had to dissect a beaver once.)
12. You have a crush on Iggy or Fang or both.
13. You read Fang's blog daily. Even though you know it's JP talking.
14. You're waiting for your 'Nick Ride'.
15. You are counting down the days for the next book. (Which is coming out March 15, 2010)
16. You will go to the first opening for the movie, even if it's at midnight.
17. You look in the mirror cautiously to make sure your reflection is not an Eraser.
18. You hate dog crates.
19. You think scientists are evil.
20. You argue with people if Max is a girl's name or a guy's.
21. When you’re spending the night at a friend's, you say you'll take first watch.
22. You've found a new respect for blind people.
23. You think MR is the best series ever and you want to meet James Patterson, author.
24. You say 'U and An’ a lot.
25. You think you have a Voice like Max.
26. You've gotten your Online Friends hooked on it.
27. You use sarcastic remarks from MR.
28. You know what 'Fax' is.
29. You were one of the characters from MR for Halloween.
30. You claim to have brain attacks.
31. You protect your thoughts. Angel might be reading them.
32. You give a crazy look to people who don't know what MR is.
33. You daydream of flying.
34. You love chocolate chip cookies.
35. You seriously felt like you were in the book.
36. If you want to become a writer because of MR
37. If they make a poster, shirt, key-chain, button, anything MR you will buy it.
38. If you love Fan-fiction.
39. In school, it's hard to concentrate because you're thinking of Maximum Ride.
40. You want a talking dog.

8 ways you know you're from the 21st century:

1.You haven't played solitare on cards in years.

2.You can nevagate a computer better then your parents.

3.Letter or phone? PHONE ALL THE WAY!!

4.You would rather read on the computer then read a book.

6.You're smiling and nodding cause it's true.

7.You didn't realize number 5 is missing.

8.You looked back up to check and now you are laughing at yourself.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheels cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV. (Depends on the teams. Im from PA so if for some weird freak incident Eagles made it to the play offs I would watch. I would watch the Phillies, but thats all I can take)
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kind of weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think. (As long as it is people I don't like. If it's a friend then I care what they think but anyone else can mind their own business.)
Sports are fun. (SWIMTEAM!!!)
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on at night. (Wish I did, my feet are always cold.)

TOTAL: 19

YOUR GIRL SIDE:
You wear lip gloss/stick.
You love skirts(only for special events/ im forced to wear it.)
Cats are better than dogs.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink. (Only if I have nothing else to wear.)
Go to your mom for advice.
Pink, yellow, orange, purple or gold is one of your favorite colors.
You hate wearing the colour black
You like hanging out at the shopping center.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures. (Why bother? It will just get ruined, plus I have no nails. jk)
You like wearing jewelry. (Does studs and hair tie count cause I wear those everyday. I don't consider them jewelry.)
Shopping is one of your favourite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars. (Love this movie. Jabba the hut is funny. I love the Wookies too.)
You were in gymnastics/dance. (ya like every other 2-year-old. Dropped out after a year so it doesn't count)
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed and make-up(I wake up at 6:30 to catch a bus at 8:10. plus it is late.)
You smile a lot more than you should(My 4th grade teacher made fun of me for smiling too much.)
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes(They're uncountable and really old. Im so disorganized and never get rid of anything.)
You care about what you look like. (only a bit. If you mind you don't matter and those who matter don't mind.)
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body perfume.
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like being the star of everything.

TOTAL: 1

Wow... I'm more like a boy than a girl. How sad; I'm a girl. No wonder the boys at school think of me as a friend. Wow is all that I can say. Btw, Im not a tomboy. Thats just how I am. Now if they asked questions about hair then its another story. I would kill anybody if they got anything in my hair. See, I don't sound like a boy.

Fav quotes!

That's Captain, like captain of a ship. And Terror, T-E-R-O-R. --Gazzy, Maximum Ride.

"I look like prep school Barbie." *looks at Max* "Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just her friend." --Nudge, Maximum Ride

BIRDSEED!! They gave us BIRDSEED!! --Nudge, Maximum Ride

I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs! --Gazzy, Maximum Ride

South America. It'll be warm. They have llamas. You like llamas. --Max, Maximum Ride

'How did you know it wasn't me?' 'She offered to cook breakfast.' --Max and Fang, Maximum Ride

You're...a...fridge...with...wings...we're...ballet...dancers! --Fang, Maximum Ride

Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips.' And potato chips were 'crisps.' And cookies were 'biscuits.' I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles? --Max, Maximum Ride

'Meaning what? We're going to pretend like nothing's going on? That's stupid. The only way to deal with any of this is to get it out there in the open.' 'Have you been watching Oprah again?' --Fang and Max, Maximum Ride

Labels

I wear black, so I must be a Goth
I’m young, so I must be naive
I speak my mind, so I must be a bitch
I suck my own blood from wounds, so I must have a vampire fetish
I’m a good actor/actress, so I must be a liar
I like to be myself, so I must be cocky and arrogant
I’m a tree hugger, so I must be a drug addicted hippie
I’m into Jimi Hendrix, so I must be on drugs
I have good grades, so I must be a nerd or suck-up
I’m different, so I must just want attention
I’m thin, so I must have an eating disorder
I’m blonde, so I must be a stupid ditz
I have a lot of guy friends, so I must be dating them all
I’m single so I must be ugly
I’m punk, so I must slit my wrists
I’m rich, so I must be a conceited snob
I wear what I want, so I must be a poser
I'm a Christian, so I must hear crazy god voices in my head
I’m a girl, so I must suck at all guy sports
I’m not the most popular person in school, so I must be a loser
I like cartoons, so I must be irresponsible
I like reading, so I must be a loner
I have my own spiritual ideology; therefore I must be wrong or misguided
I wear glasses, so I must be a nerd
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I must be an over-controlling perfectionist
I don’t like to talk about my personal life so I must be having problems
I’m a teenager, so I must be rebellious
I’m not like everyone else, so I must be a loser
I’m intelligent so I must be weak
I have a different sense of humor, so I must be crazy
I tell people off, so I must be an over-controlling bitch
I’m always smiling and laughing, so I must have a great life
I hang out with gays, so I must be gay too
I copied and pasted this into my profile, so I must be a plagiarist
I frown a lot, so I must have a bad life
I disagree with my government, so I must be a terrorist
I am polite to teachers, so I must be a teacher's pet
I’m a young writer, so I must be Emo.
I'm a person, so I must be labeled

All of these things- SO TRUE!!!*

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile.

ThInGs To PoNdEr:

A True Boyfriend:

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Walmart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)

5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Cat fight anyhow...just start them.)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(just leave'm in the middle)