fakeyourdecaf
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 12-21-15, id: 7384206, Profile Updated: 07-19-18
Author has written 5 stories for Alex Rider, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Harry Potter.

Hello all! I'm awful at writing profiles, so I'll keep this short for the people who actually read this stuff.

I update my fics very irregularly. Like sometimes I go on a writing spree and update three chapters in two days and other times I'll leave the story for months. (I do plan to eventually finish most of them eventually however so stick with me!

I will probably only write fics for Alex Rider unless I get a request or I suddenly feel inspired

If you want to follow me on Tumblr my username is "literallynothinguseful" but it's basically just a place where I reblog stale memes because I'm just that cool.

I love to talk to new people so if you want to talk, please PM me!

Have a good day and thanks for popping by!

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Hell is Other People by amitai reviews
After a series of attacks, Alex's entire class is sent to be trained at the SAS training camp, to give them a degree of self sufficiency to help them defend themselves. Unfortunately for Alex, he has to go with them... and not get noticed as different.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 29 - Words: 371,324 - Reviews: 3761 - Favs: 3,286 - Follows: 3,665 - Updated: 8/4 - Published: 5/2/2007 - Alex R./Cub
Exordium: Circulus by Phenobarbital reviews
They're still not sure exactly how they ended up on the magic side of a place called London, but Edward and Roy are not new to dealing with the unexpected. Needing to get home, they figure out how magic energy works and they make a mutual decision to go to Hogwarts. Neither of them are prepared for what they find at Hogwarts, or for what happens when Ed starts lying to Roy...
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 19 - Words: 190,872 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 468 - Follows: 647 - Updated: 6/7 - Published: 3/4/2016 - Severus S., Edward E., Roy M.
The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by pongnosis reviews
Alex always knew his curiosity and impulsiveness would get him into trouble. It got him tangled up with MI6, after all. He hadn't expected it to land him in the middle of SCORPIA as Yassen Gregorovich's apprentice. No pairings, AU after Skeleton Key.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Drama - Chapters: 97 - Words: 553,253 - Reviews: 1405 - Favs: 401 - Follows: 382 - Updated: 1/27 - Published: 12/24/2016 - Alex R./Cub, Yassen G. - Complete
As Color Fades Away by IcyPanther reviews
"There is no escape for you, Paladin," Haggar whispered, voice echoing from from the very depths of his mind and filling Lance with a horror and dread he could not begin to describe. "Not from this ship. Not from death." She let out a soft laugh that rang with dark promise. "And especially not from me." / In which Zarkon desires the Black Lion and the Blue Paladin pays the price.
Voltron: Legendary Defender - Rated: T - English - Angst/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 80 - Words: 470,451 - Reviews: 5471 - Favs: 691 - Follows: 642 - Updated: 8/31/2018 - Published: 3/7/2017 - Keith, T. Shirogane/Shiro, Lance, Hunk - Complete
Par delà la Porte : E Elric et le livre obscur by Mel72000 reviews
XoverHP/FMA : La guerre a commencé et l'avenir s'assombrit pour Harry Potter et ses amis. Voldemort augmente en pouvoir et ses pensées se concentrent sur un mystérieux livre noir. Edward Elric saura t-il mener ses amis à la découverte de la véritable magie? Avec des cours d'alchimie, la découverte des Horcruxes, la création du Cercle et l'amour, Harry n'aura plus une minute à lui.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - French - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 14 - Words: 81,510 - Reviews: 212 - Favs: 175 - Follows: 218 - Updated: 8/11/2018 - Published: 10/4/2014
The Previous Life of Sherlock Holmes by DrWhy reviews
John knew that Sherlock had a past, but really, how does Sherlock know his army friends? More importantly, why is SCORPIA after his flatmate?
Crossover - Alex Rider & Sherlock - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 19 - Words: 20,201 - Reviews: 188 - Favs: 191 - Follows: 358 - Updated: 8/2/2018 - Published: 6/16/2013 - Alex R./Cub, Ben D./Fox, Sherlock H., John W.
Beyond the Gate: Edward Elric and the Order of the Phoenix by betsybugaboo reviews
After facing the Homunculi, saving Amestris, and sacrificing his alchemy to save his brother, Edward would have never dreamed that the Truth would ask him to save another universe where magic reigns. Translation from French of mel72000's awesome fic, Par delà la Porte : E Elric et l'Ordre du Phénix.
Crossover - Harry Potter & Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 24 - Words: 100,906 - Reviews: 317 - Favs: 976 - Follows: 1,178 - Updated: 5/19/2018 - Published: 1/8/2016 - Edward E. - Complete
Back For More by Xazz reviews
Desmond ends up having a one night stand with only one of the most popular - allegedly straight- guys in school. It is both everything he expected and he probably could have used a memo on how to deal with possessiveness.
Assassin's Creed - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 99 - Words: 233,069 - Reviews: 533 - Favs: 382 - Follows: 411 - Updated: 9/20/2017 - Published: 3/17/2012 - Altaïr, Desmond M., Clay K./Subject 16, Connor K. - Complete
Normally Perfect by livewiresandwildfires reviews
Fox read all this aloud in his best Sergeant voice. Upon finishing, he turned to his unit and sighed. "To hell and back, and back again." / Second in my 'Perfect' Series. Inspired by stormbringer94's 'It Get's Better Sometimes'. / Rated T for strong language and violence.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 12 - Words: 23,176 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 65 - Follows: 21 - Published: 4/23/2017 - Alex R./Cub, Ben D./Fox, Eagle, Wolf - Complete
Miles to Go Before I Sleep by Ranowa Hikura reviews
Mustang's lie to Ed about Hughes' death ends up having devastating consequences. Parental RoyEd.
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Drama - Chapters: 7 - Words: 44,782 - Reviews: 55 - Favs: 86 - Follows: 55 - Updated: 2/3/2017 - Published: 1/12/2017 - Edward E., Maes H., Roy M. - Complete
Red and Blue by ZakuroU reviews
Amestris as a nation is renowned for its military strength and the intense exercises it puts its soldiers through. So it's no surprise to the troops that the Fuhrer has announced another crazy scheme in the form of a martial father-son team contest between the five Amestrian jurisdictions and some allied countries. But what are Roy and Ed doing in the competition? ! Parental!RoyEd
Fullmetal Alchemist - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 16 - Words: 81,261 - Reviews: 387 - Favs: 301 - Follows: 375 - Updated: 8/29/2015 - Published: 7/30/2014 - Alphonse E., Edward E., Riza H., Roy M.
Becoming Lífþrasir by Midoriko-sama reviews
People often wondered what kept Hiccup going during those early years. When that single, most-treasured thing is taken from him, there is little left to keep him on Berk. The day Stoick returns, and the day before the best recruit is finally chosen, Hiccup leaves Berk; little knowing that he would one day return under ... strange circumstances. H/A, R/F, rated for violence.
How to Train Your Dragon - Rated: T - English - Family/Adventure - Chapters: 23 - Words: 121,591 - Reviews: 1056 - Favs: 4,149 - Follows: 1,631 - Updated: 8/14/2014 - Published: 1/24/2014 - [Hiccup, Astrid] Stoick - Complete
Twisting, Turning, Tumbling by ShiruyTheSecond reviews
100 Themes Challenge Yassen/Alex Style. It's an easy mission, they just need him to provide cover, he won't be in any danger... Yeah, right. As if that had ever been true before. Alex is so sick of this.
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Drama - Chapters: 39 - Words: 61,116 - Reviews: 561 - Favs: 498 - Follows: 528 - Updated: 8/16/2011 - Published: 8/26/2009 - Alex R./Cub, Yassen G.
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Flying Solo reviews
After stumbling into an alchemic experiment whilst on a mission, Ed is sent through the Gate and into a foreign world of magic and which defies everything he understands about alchemy and the laws equivalent exchange. Unable to understand the people, technology and the language Ed stumbles through London in search of a way back home..until the Knight Bus turns up.
Crossover - Fullmetal Alchemist & Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 34,817 - Reviews: 66 - Favs: 177 - Follows: 291 - Updated: 7/17/2018 - Published: 4/9/2017 - Harry P., Hermione G., Alphonse E., Edward E.
Blunt blades reviews
Run. That was Alex's first thought as he stared at the man in front of him. The man he had just killed. Oneshot
Alex Rider - Rated: K+ - English - Angst/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 579 - Reviews: 11 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 13 - Updated: 9/9/2017 - Published: 4/1/2016 - Complete
Road Trip reviews
Of course Alex has to make a simple school trip into a spectacle. Why can't he just make a few good decisions and save himself the trouble? But does he even really want to turn up to this stupid lecture in the first place or will it reunite him with the life he thought he'd finally left behind in Egypt?
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 5 - Words: 16,040 - Reviews: 50 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 132 - Updated: 7/23/2017 - Published: 10/1/2016
Alex Rider and Alexis Strider reviews
When Alex Rider comes across a louse called Alexis Strider, a girl who has stolen and begun to parody his identity on Youtube, Alex knows that he can't ignore it any longer. His identity, which was a matter of top secrecy, is now in danger of being compromised forever, not to mention his dignity. Alex will need all his wit and daring as he embarks on his last ever mission. CRACK
Alex Rider - Rated: K+ - English - Humor/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 918 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 3 - Follows: 4 - Published: 8/18/2016
Let's try this again reviews
Alex has decided to stay in London after the events in Cairo and is trying again at having a normal life. Kyle is his new 'house-mate' assigned by MI6 who have halfheartedly promised to leave Alex alone. But when have they ever kept their promises?
Alex Rider - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Angst - Chapters: 7 - Words: 8,824 - Reviews: 13 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 35 - Updated: 1/31/2016 - Published: 12/22/2015 - Alex R./Cub, Sabina P., Tom H.