KAZUTOKIRIGAYA1928
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Joined 01-04-16, id: 7426332, Profile Updated: 03-03-16

this was all copy and pasted from revan79

Sex: Male

Age:Old enough

Where I live: U.S.

My philosophy: Shit happens examples: I get good grades 'Shit happens' I wreck my car 'Shit happens'

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: Danyan, Avatarwolf, Shifter-youkai ChOpstIcKsXOXO, RadicalEd57, Fierygirl0, tsukiko3000,Neonzangetsu,NaruHarem4ever,kagedoragon,Razgriz99,reader12345678910, revan79, KAZUTOKIRIGAYA1928

NORMAL PEOPLE: Rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast
PJO FANS: Will tell Zeus to make it rain

NORMAL PEOPLE: Say OMG!
PJO FANS: Say OH MY GODS!

NORMAL PEOPLE: Go to a psychiatrist to tell their feelings
PJO FANS: Won't go to one because they will take away their awesome demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: Say shut up or i'll tell on you!
PJO FANS: Say shut up or my godly parent will vaporize you!

NORMAL PEOPLE: Think that PJO fans are stupid
PJO FANS: Know that normal people are stupid

NORMAL PEOPLE: When being chased yell HELP ME SOMEBODY!
PJO FANS: When being chased use their demigod powers

NORMAL PEOPLE: Get nervous/scared during thunderstorms
PJO FANS: Yell at Zeus to calm down

NORMAL PEOPLE: Would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation
PJO FANS: Would try and find Camp Half Blood

NORMAL PEOPLE: Don't have this on their profile

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!

If you could read that put it in your profile!

7 reasons not to mess with kids

Reason 1 A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, “When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah.” The teacher asked, ” What if Jonah went to hell?” The little girl replied, “Then you ask him”.

Reason 2 A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child’s work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, “I’m drawing God.” The teacher paused and said, “But no one knows what God looks like.” Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, “They will in a minute.”

Reason 3 A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year old After explaining the commandment to “honor” thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, “Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?” Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, “Thou shall not kill.”

Reason 4 One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, “Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?” Her mother replied, “Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.” The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, “Momma, how come ALL of grandma’s hairs are white?”

Reason 5 The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. “Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, ‘There’s Jennifer, she’s a lawyer,’ or ‘That’s Michael, he’s a doctor.’ A small voice at the back of the room rang out,”And there’s the teacher, she’s dead. ”

Reason 6 A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, “Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face..” “Yes,” the class said. “Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn’t run into my feet?” A little fellow shouted, “Cause your feet ain’t empty.”

Reason 7 The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: “Take only ONE. God is watching.” Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, “Take all you want - God is watching the apples.

16 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "pikachu, I choose you!"

If you are tired of enduring the slander people give you for Anime, you're not alone. The movement has begun.

If you want to join the group of those who fight the popular culutre brainwashing cult, the welcome.

You are now, a Fighting Dreamer.

To be a passive member, just remember who you are, and don't falter in your love of Anime, Fanfiction, and all things random.

To be an ACTIVE member, copy and paste this entire thing into your profile, add your name to the list below.

ZephyrFiction, Jedimickey, TwilightFreakNumber1, Cherrie-Sakura, The Silver Kira Fox, bleachedranma2, xoreohappyx, Twilight Commando, Kyasarin-freakload, Mint Pearl Voice, Tomahawk 3.0, jolle XD, Black Flash, revan79, KAZUTOKIRIGAYA1928

Who Am I?

I am the boy...that doesn't go to school dances, and when I do go, I sit in a corner and read a book. I am the boy that people look through when I say something. I am the boy that spends most of his free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the boy that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the boy that doesn't spend all his time on MySpace, or talking about cars, girls or sex to his friends. I am the boy that hasn't been asked out in a year...or ever. I am the boy that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and slash in the rain.

But I am also the boy who knows and is proud to be who he is, doesn't care if people call him weird (it's a compliment), who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who can express himself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and paste this to your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the people who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.The First Kitsukage, Dragon of Time, jinx777, Venomous dragons bite, revan79

Random Questions

If the sky is the limit, then what is space? Over the limit?
Are children who act in 'R' rated moves allowed to see them?
Why is it when an adult with the mind of a child is locked up and put in a asylum, while children are allowed to run in the streets?
Whose cruel idea was it for the word 'lisp' to have an 's' in it?
If the swat team breaks down your door do they have to replace it later?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out." ?
Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes out of its butt."?
Isn't Disneyland just a people trap operated by a mouse?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in 'mother in law', they come out to 'Woman Hitler'?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning many, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

Why is it when we talk to God when we are praying, but when God talks to us we are crazy?
Why is it when some products you have to turn upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn down?
Why do people say ,"you can't have your cake and eat it too" when no one would have a cake if they can't eat it?
I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
When life gives you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how you did it
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?
If corn oil is made from corn, where do we get baby oil from?
If rabbits' feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?

My mother taught me to…

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

26. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

27. My mother taught me SHAPE-SHIFTING.
"You'll turn into a sausage if you eat any more.”

28. My mother taught me CONSEQUENCES.
"If you don't tidy your room, there'll be hell to pay."

10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)

Random Sarcastic Junk.

One day, I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, Then it hit me

Two men walk into a bar, The third one ducks.

Boys are like lava lamps, fun to watch but not too bright.

Boys are like slinkeys. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone.

If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust?

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions.

I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do kill me?

If two wrongs don't make a right...try three.

When life gives you lemons, squirt them in the eyes of your enemies.

Don't knock on death's door, ring the doorbell and run- he hates that!

My knight in shining turned out to be a loser in aluminum foil.

It's better to keep quiet and let someone think you're stupid, than to open your mouth and prove it.

It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt...then it's hilarious.

" It's just strange how the evening News is where they begin with "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't."

if you talk about me i got some advice. click your heels 3 times and say 'i wish i had a life'!

OMG! i think i just saw a flying bird! let me write that down in my 'things i dont really give f about' notebook.

"Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? i just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn soda."

I dream of a better world...where chickens can cross roads without having their morals questioned.

"The greener grass on the other side is probably just artificial turf."

"Nothing worse than getting your pigtails shot off..."

"Nobody move! I dropped my brain."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"He who laughs last didn't get it."

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

-When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

-Education is important; school however, is another matter.

I had my soul removed to make room for sarcasm and I don't regret it.

-Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up.

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder!

-Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

-Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

-Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

-The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

-I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist.

-If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

-Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters?

-Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

-There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

-Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

-High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

-People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House.

-I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens.

-I do not deny everything.

-Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go into storage.

Love me or hate me. Personally I could care less

-Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us

-Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls.

-Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over...

Things to Do in an Exam you Already Know That You are Going to Fail:

1.Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Torte’s Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when she/he is not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Fuck this!" and walk out triumphantly.

15. Show up completely drunk (completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the hell are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. strike a pose first for added effect.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girl nearby.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

The Top 100 Things I'd Do If I Ever Became An Evil Overlord
1. My Legions of Terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box. The same applies to the object which is my one weakness.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll say, "No." and shoot him. On second thought, I'll shoot him, then say "No."
8. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
9. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not Push". The big red button marked "Do Not Push" will instead trigger a spray of bullets on anyone stupid enough to disregard it. Similarly, the ON/OFF switch will not clearly be labelled as such.
10. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
11. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
12. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
13. All slain enemies will be cremated, or at least have several rounds of ammunition emptied into them, not left for dead at the bottom of a cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
14. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
15. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 1:17 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
16. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know."
17. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
18. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
19. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
20. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
21. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my Legions of Terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mindset.
22. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
23. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
24. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line "No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!" (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
25. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructible except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
26. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
27. I will never build only one of anything important. All important systems will have redundant control panels and power supplies. For the same reason I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at all times.
28. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
29. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies into confusion.
30. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and cowardly thieves in the land will be preemptively put to death. My foes will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of comic relief.
31. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
32. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come by.
33. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather will be reserved for formal occasions.
34. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
35. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic. Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
36. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block, let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
37. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted lieutenant.
38. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately, instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of vengeance towards me in my old age.
39. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite number among his army.
40. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an unstoppable superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible instead of keeping it in reserve.
41. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky time-travel devices.
42. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey, ferret, naked mole rat, or whatever sickeningly-cute little animal capable of untying ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
43. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my plans.
44. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
45. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is responsible for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will not draw my weapon, point it at him, say, "And here is the price for failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
46. If an advisor says to me "My liege, he is but one man. What can one man possibly do?" I will reply, "This," and kill the advisor.
47. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to mature.
48. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not immediately come after me for revenge.
49. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
50. My main computers will have their own special operating system that will be completely incompatible with standard IBM and Macintosh powerbooks.
51. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
52. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
53. If the beautiful princess that I capture says "I'll never marry you! Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!", I will say, "Oh well," and kill her.
54. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
55. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in my Legions of Terror. However, before I send them out on important covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is anyone else equally qualified who would attract less attention.
56. My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for target practice.
57. Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will carefully read the owner's manual.
58. If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
59. I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
60. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30 seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
61. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
62. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a firefight.
63. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
64. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could prove to be a disadvantage.
65. If I must have computer systems with publically available terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as Sewage Overflow Containment Room.
66. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that sequence will trigger the alarm system.
67. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a full-scale emergency.
68. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better save my life again.
69. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of the wild.
70. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of quizzically peering around a corner.
71. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing by in case the answer is no.
72. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using my unstoppable superweapon on them.
73. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest, even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
74. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
75. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse, instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack one or two at a time.
76. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of molten lava is not even worth considering.)
77. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before making the offer.
78. I will not tell my Legions of Terror, "And he must be taken alive!" The command will be, "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
79. If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into limited-edition commemorative coins.
80. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he gets closer and closer to my fortress.
81. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out what he saw.
82. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
83. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
84. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the opposite sex.
85. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly complicated, e.g. "Align the twelve Stones of Power on the sacred altar, then activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be more along the lines of, "Push the button."
86. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and properly grounded.
87. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use. Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
88. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
89. After I capture the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took it from him.
90. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation is facing away from the door.
91. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment is finished. It might actually be important.
92. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness. (Heroes are incredibly gullible in this regard.)
93. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is scheduled to go first.
94. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
95. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead of opening up the cell for a look.
96. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the inside opens the door, not vice versa.
97. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
98. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will ignore them. However if circumstances have forced them together against their will and they spend all their time bickering and criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual tension, I will immediately order their execution.
99. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in size.
100. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.

1. Write the name of a person of the oposite sex.

2.Which is your favorite color out of red, black, blue, green, or yellow?

3. Your first initial?

4. Your month of birth?

5. Which color do you like more, black or white?

6. Name of a person of the same sex as yours.

7. Your favorite number?

8. Do you like California or Florida more?

9. Do you like the lake or the ocean more?

10. Write down a wish (a realistic one).

Are you done?

If so scroll down

(don't cheat- -)

THE ANSWERS

1. You are completly in love with this person

2. If you choose

Red: You are alert and your life is full of love.

Black: You are conservitive and agressive.

Green: Your soul is relaxed and you are laid back.

Blue: You are spontaneous and and love kisses and affection from the ones you love.

Yellow: You are a very happy person and give good advice to those who are down.

3. If your initial is:

A-K: You have a lot of love and friendships in your life.

L-R: You try to enjoy life to the maximum and your love life is is soon to blossom.

S-Z: You like to help others and your future love life looks very good.

4. If you were born in:

Jan.-Mar.: The year will go very well for you and you will discover that you fall in love with someone totally unexpected.

Apr.-June: You will have a strong love relashonship that will not last long but the memories will last forever.

July-Sept.: You will have a great year and will experiance a major life changing experiance for the good.

Oct.-Dec.: Your love life will not be too great, but eventually you will find your soulmate.

5. If you choose...

Black: Your life will take on in a different direction, it will seem hard at the time but will be the best thing for you, and you will be glad for the change.

White: You will have a friend who completely confides with you and would do anything for you, but may not realize it.

6. This person is your best friend.

7. THis is how many close friends you will have in a lifetime.

8. If you choose

California: You like adventure.

Florida: You are a laidback person.

9. If you choose...

Lake: You are loyal to your friends and your love. And you are very reserved.

Ocean: You are spontaneous and like to please people.

10. This wish will come true only if you RE-POST THIS BULLETIN in one hour and it will come before your next birthday

Ways to Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso .

5. In the Memo Field of all your checks, write "For Smuggling Diamonds"

6. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with The Prophecy."

7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify that your drive-through order Is "To Go."

9. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

10. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I Won!, I Won!"

11. When leaving the Zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives. They're loose!!"

12. Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."

13. And the Final Way to keep a Healthy Level Of Insanity...Copy and Paste this into your profile!!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliché, EdwardandFangdreams4life, This Sayuri-Sama, Mit-chan007/Jessie,Ni-Chan, raining-pandas, Keiko Hayasaka, WantingFreedom, azuashihiko, AngelAndAnime, TheLighteningTheifRocks, HAWTgeek, percyxannabeth18770, 78meg9, no-percabeth-is-no-life, mkc120, The Goddess of Myths, ShimmeringDaisyFace, PrincessOfWisdom-AnnabethChase, Aresesgirl, WaytoManyImagination, revan79, KAZUTOKIRIGAYA1928

Without GOD, our week would be:

Sinday,

Mournday,

Tearsday,

Wasteday,

Thirstday,

Fightday,

Shatterday.

Repost this if you are not ashamed of GOD.

Seven days without GOD will make one weak.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.

You love jeans.

Dogs are better than cats.

It's hilarious when people get hurt.

You've played with/against boys on a team.

Shopping is torture.(only when shopping for clothes)

sad movies suck.

You own/ed an X-Box. (technically my brother ownes one but I've played it.)

Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.

At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.

You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.

You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.

You go to your dad for advice.

You own like a trillion baseball caps.

You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.

Baggy pants are cool to wear.

It' s kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.

Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.

You love to go crazy and not care what people think.

Sports are fun

Talk with food in your mouth.

Sleep with your socks on at night

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You love to shop. (only on videogames, okay?)

You wear eyeliner.

You wear the color pink.

Go to your mom for advice.

You consider cheerleading a sport.

You hate wearing the color black.

You like hanging out at the mall.

You like getting maicures and/or pedicures.

You like wearing jewelry.

Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.

Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.

You don't like the movie Star Wars.

You were in gymnastics/dance

It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up. (only on showering one hour because I keep day-dreaming)

You smile a lot more than you should.

You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.

You care about what you look like.

You like wearing dresses when you can.

You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.

You love the movies.

Used to play with dolls as little kid. (Actually I played with my sister, she with her dolls, me with my action figures, and my Woody and Buzz Lightyear)

Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.

Like being the star of every thing

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded. LucilliaAL

"He handed her 11 red roses and one fake rose, he said ‘I will love you until the last rose dies."

"Of all the things I’ve lost… I miss my mind the most."

"Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas."

"Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!"

"When in doubt, push random buttons!"

"When you talk to God, that's religion. When God talks to you, that's psychotic."

"Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies."

Why do I believe in God?

A teenage girl about 17 named Diane had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely.

The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to weep. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked Diane for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. Diane was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." Amazingly, whether you believe or not, you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of teenagers will not stand up for God, and 93 of the people that read this won't repost it?

Repost this if you truly believe in God.

PS: God is always there in your heart and loves you no matter what, and if you stand up for him he will stand up for you.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

I'm kinda superstitious so when i read what would happen if i didn't post i was sorta scared of having nightmares so voila here it is on my profile. :)

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Sexy Times by Kiyoshiin reviews
A collection of lemons that are straight, nothing weird like tentacle shit, etc. It also means no yaoi or yuri. I do take threesomes. I simply take in the requests of what pair of characters that you want to see that gets down and dirty. Need a plot and everything to make stuff easier for me to write. No Incest! You can also pm me a plot about details if you don't want to review.
Elsword - Rated: M - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 12 - Words: 42,315 - Reviews: 225 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 34 - Updated: 2/1 - Published: 7/2/2013
The Revolutionary Days of an Overpowered Assassin by Roguehunter11 reviews
Discovered at a young age abandoned in the woods, Tatsumi was raised conjointly by a small village despite harsh times. Displaying an unbelievable talent for combat even at a young age Tatsumi aims to free the Empire from the corruption plaguing it in order to save the villagers who had given him so much from never ending poverty.
Akame ga Kiru/アカメが斬る - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 6 - Words: 37,974 - Reviews: 121 - Favs: 627 - Follows: 679 - Updated: 12/7/2018 - Published: 1/1/2016 - Tatsumi, Akame
Matters of the Heart by Eroji reviews
The first day of school, and there's already a new transfer student. A love struck Elsword can't get his mind off of her, who's that girl? I'll give you a hint, she's a nasod XD. Bad summary and cheesy title, sorry for that. Rated T to be safe.
Elsword - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 11,572 - Reviews: 38 - Favs: 13 - Follows: 20 - Updated: 9/18/2015 - Published: 6/12/2013 - Elsword, Eve
He and them by Elesia reviews
An attempt in writing something which will lead to lemon. cough Possible El-harem cough. ElsEve
Elsword - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 24,883 - Reviews: 51 - Favs: 40 - Follows: 56 - Updated: 2/16/2015 - Published: 9/22/2014 - [Elsword, Eve] Rena
Elgang's Pain by Chaos Keeper reviews
What if Elsword wasn't seen as a hero by all? What if Aisha was contaminated by Dark El? What if an OC comes to the rescue? Rated M Pairings are; DC x YR, BM x VP, NW x OC, CE x OC, and SK x SK (Elesis and Els; because you rarely ever see an Elesis with a brother complex) [Waiting to introduce Add when Diabolic Esper comes out] ..
Elsword - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 13 - Words: 26,908 - Reviews: 29 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 30 - Updated: 1/31/2015 - Published: 4/12/2014 - Elsword, Chung, Ara H., Elesis
Forbidden by Xetton reviews
Elesis harbors forbidden feelings for her brother, but does he feel the same way? Contains: incest
Elsword - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,894 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 36 - Updated: 10/25/2014 - Published: 9/28/2014 - [Elesis, Elsword]