Keeper00029
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Joined 12-21-14, id: 6360578, Profile Updated: 04-03-16

Some examples of why the human race has probably progressed as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, when else could I possibly do my hair??)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (And you were expecting...?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time? Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm... not entirley stupid if you think about it)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to... what?)

On a food processor: Not for other use. (but i was gonna use it to vacuum my bedroom)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

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Free Runner by Demeter Fenir reviews
RWBY AU. Ruby Rose is a parkour lover. It's also pretty helpful when she has to make a getaway after some tagging. On her way to meet up with her up and coming model of a sister Yang, she runs into Weiss Schnee, young head to the Schnee fashion industry. After being hired (against her will), she finds herself falling for the ice cold fashion heir. What's a runner to do? WhiteRose
RWBY - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 29 - Words: 71,762 - Reviews: 998 - Favs: 1,895 - Follows: 2,489 - Updated: 7/29 - Published: 3/24/2014 - [Ruby R., Weiss S.] [Yang X.L., Blake B.]
Red Carpet Romance by mikotyzini reviews
A movie star. An author. A chance meeting and an instant spark. This is the story of how two strangers fall in love - and all of the adventures that come with it. [Hollywood AU - all fluff!]
RWBY - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 37 - Words: 166,459 - Reviews: 842 - Favs: 1,073 - Follows: 1,369 - Updated: 5/11 - Published: 1/16/2015 - [Blake B., Yang X.L.]
Bite Down dabbles by echoxknox reviews
Oneshot drabbles. This is connected to Bite Down/ Humans and vampires since they are the same story. These are mini adventures, experiences, and moments between the gang, Carmilla, Evangeline, and the rest of Silas. Evelyn will be referred to as Evangeline so sorry if there's any confusion. !OPEN TO PROMPTS!
Carmilla - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 29 - Words: 68,631 - Reviews: 37 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 19 - Updated: 8/7/2017 - Published: 4/30/2015 - Carmilla, Danny, OC
Black Swan by Lyta Halifax reviews
At age thirteen, Max's powers Emerged. Identified as a Special, one of a tiny handful of people with amazing abilities, she is forcibly recruited and studied by the government. Though her life grows ever darker, she clings to one hope: to someday be reunited with her best friend Chloe. [Major AU. FederalAgent!Max. Pricefield. Rated M for sex, violence and naughty words.]
Life is Strange - Rated: M - English - Romance/Sci-Fi - Chapters: 42 - Words: 307,685 - Reviews: 750 - Favs: 845 - Follows: 686 - Updated: 7/20/2016 - Published: 8/11/2015 - [Chloe P., Max C.] OC - Complete
Broken Arrows by PoisonAngelMuse reviews
After five years missing in Australia, Oliver Queen is coming back to Starling City with no memories of his previous life. How will his family react to this new Oliver? And more importantly, will he remember the love of his life, the woman he meant to marry five years ago? OLICITY. SMUT. ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE. HEA.
Arrow - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 218,123 - Reviews: 873 - Favs: 1,072 - Follows: 866 - Updated: 7/31/2015 - Published: 8/2/2014 - [Oliver Q./Arrow/Green Arrow, Felicity S./Overwatch] Tommy M., Slade W./Deathstroke - Complete