![]() Author has written 1 story for Maximum Ride. Hey Guys!! I am a young teenager, I live in Ohio, and I'm homeschooled. I love to read and write, I'm actually working on 4 books, plus a fanfiction. My favorite class is either History or summer(lol). I hate math 'cause I can't understand it. Interests: Reading, writing, music, learning. Now, I'm serious about this, if you want me to read your story, then you better read and do these. 26 Golden Rules for Writing Well 1. Don't abbrev Copy & Pastes ~If Faxness is one of your obsessions, copy and paste this in your profile ~If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile! ~If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile. ~If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile. ~If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile. ~If you wish Max would stop running from Fang copy and paste this onto your profile. ~If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile. ~Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex. ~If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile. ~If you agree that Fang is Fangalicious, copy this into your profile. ~If you agree that Robert Pattinson SHOULD NOT be Fang in the Maximum Ride (the movie), copy and paste this in your profile. ~If you think Avril Lavigne SHOULD play Max, you know the drill. Copy and paste to profile. ~If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. ~92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off ~If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. ~If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. ~If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. ~If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile. ~If you are crazy, copy this into your profile. ~If you think Fang and Max should have gotten together in the first book, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you think people who only like Paramore because of Twilight are losers, than copy this into your profile. ~If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile. ~If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile. ~If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile. ~If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile. ~If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile. ~If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile. ~If you do not use the typing system as taught and yet your typing system is quite effective, copy and paste this to your profile. ~If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is, put this in your profile. ~If your profile is longer than most of the chapters in your stories, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. HELL YEAH! ~If your fashion sense is "is it comfortable?", copy this to your profile. ~If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer. ~If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile. ~If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile. ~If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile. ~If you can listen to a song and match some of the lyrics up to your life (and the lives of your favourite characters), copy and paste this onto your profile. ~If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck, copy and paste this onto your profile. ~If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. ~I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile. ~If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. ~If You like chocolate as much as I do, copy this into your profile. ~If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile ~If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile! ~If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. ~If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile. ~If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile. ~98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile. ~If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile. ~If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile ~Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile. ~If you say 'yeah' a lot copy this to your profile. Quotes "If you aren't going to believe me when I answer you're question, then you damn well shouldn't of asked!" - Love Life and Covens "Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you DO criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes!" - Jace "Coke- It's healthier than crack." -CloudCatcher74 "You're being ridiculous." "Sarcasm is the body's natural defense against stupidity." "Boys are like slinkies. They seem useless but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs." "Boys are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and the only ones left are the handicapped."(Nothing against hadicapped people, it isn't actually meant literally.) "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order." "The best part of 'believe' is the 'lie.'" "We don't cut ourselves with razors or pieces of broken glass, but with pieces of our shattered heart." "The higher I go, the greater I fall." "Don't dream, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart." "Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option." "Guys are like stars; there are millions of them but only one can make your wishes come true." "A girl worth kissing is not easily kissed." "Don’t cry over someone who won’t cry over you." "The best feelings are those that have no words to describe them." "Second chances. They don't ever matter, people never change." "Isn't it ironic? We ignore who adores us, adore who ignores us, love who hurts us, and hurt who loves us." "If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?" "Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable." "It is rare that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman." "Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance." “The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.” "It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces." I do believe so. "When nothing goes right...Go left." "I'm not random. You just can't think as fast as me...TACO CAKE! See? You were still processing taco when I said cake." - H.J. (max88301) when her dad said that she was random. "I've decided that as long as I was going to Hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." - Edward Cullen-Twilight "I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge, Maximum Ride-SOF "Rowr!" -Fang, Maximum Ride-SOF "She offered to cook breakfast."-Fang, MR-SOF "I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, huh?" Okay. In my experience, if you're really hit or seriously hurt, you don't say much. -Total and Max, MAX "Girls, revenge doesn't always help anything," "I believe misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat." "Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business." "I want to fix that in my memory forever, Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."-Ron, HP-GoF Hysterical Scenrios: I took these from H.J.'s (max88301) profile, I'm sorry, they were just too damn funny. Angel- *Rolls into class like a ninja.* Angel and H.J.- *Walk into the Lunch room* HOW COULD YOU? - By Jim Willis, 2001 When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day. Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family, " but there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the 2 nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago & made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads & asked "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her . It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty. A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters. Please use this to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter animals in order to prevent unwanted animals. Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad, but it could save maybe, even one, unwanted pet. Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY. I'm that girl who cries without anyone seeing it. "Forget the risk, take the fall. Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.) I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store. What a guy means, when he says some stuff: Here is all you need to know about men and woman: Comebacks Girl Comebacks! Man: Where have you been all my life? Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. Random Comebacks: If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it." When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Say to them, "Well of course it is! Why the hell would I keep looking for it after I found it?!" While waiting at a bus stop, if someone asks you, "Has the bus come yet?" reply, "If the bus had come, I wouldn't be standing here now would I?" She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face. (Say to a boy:) Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder. When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them! Yeah I'm unique, just like every one else. Yeah, the grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you. I'm not crazy, you're just more sane than I am. I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead. I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y". I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it. I didn't slap you! I hi-fived your face! My door is always open, so feel free to leave. I am in shape...round is a shape. I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. One tequila... two tequila... three tequila...floor! I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I'm perfect! Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal. I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it! My mum keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that. Intelligence has limits, stupidity doesn't. Smile...it confuses people! Ifyoucanreadthisthenyouarewaytoosmartforyourowngood. If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light. A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand. Did you know 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions? God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman. We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box. You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid. A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. Proof that we, the human race, will kill ourselves because of our stupidity: Actual things on products: On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (that's the only time I have to work on my hair). Me: I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago. What have you pulled? If you have pulled a Max: You have made a snap decision and decided to do it without thinking it through first. Random: When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets. To attract men, wear a perfume called New Car Interior. Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over. They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people. Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie. Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone. It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? Be thankful for what you have, because it's probably more than most. When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back! Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away so they can’t hear you and you still have their shoes on. You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then? Where's the good in goodbye? Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present! There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train. Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose. What My Mother Taught Me 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning." 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. Make your mother proud, don't smoke pot or stop breathing because Abrocrombie and Fitch tell you its not cool to breath. Feel free to PM me anytime. Thanks, P.S. If I said anything crazy, I'm always super bored and looking for stuff to do, so that's why. |
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