Love Life and Covens
hide bio
PM . Follow . Favorite
Joined 05-01-10, id: 2347987, Profile Updated: 01-16-11
Author has written 1 story for Maximum Ride.

Hey Guys!!

I am a young teenager, I live in Ohio, and I'm homeschooled. I love to read and write, I'm actually working on 4 books, plus a fanfiction. My favorite class is either History or summer(lol). I hate math 'cause I can't understand it.
I am playing with ideas for fanfics, but I must warn you that I am new to playing in other peoples' worlds, if you know what I mean. So please bear with me and leave constructive critism, NOT "Oh, that story sucked, you're a crappy writer". Also, I tend to get writer's block after the first few chapters of a story, so encouragment and ideas for what should happen next in the story are always welcomed. If you have an idea for a fanfic in the Max Ride or Mortal Intruments series, but are not a writer, PM me and I can try to write it(no promises though). I will make sure to mention that it was your idea, too.

Interests: Reading, writing, music, learning.
Favorite singers/bands: Avril Lavinge, Taylor Swift, Lady Antebellum, Greenday, Nickelback, Flyleaf(LOVE!!!!), Evanescense, stuff like that.
Favorite Books: The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare, Maximum Ride series(the last couple books SUCKED thoough) by -I'm having a blank on his name, all I can remember is JP, sorry-, Persistance of Memory by Amelia Waters(I think), Stephanie Plum books, Daniel X, Harry Potter series, Meg Cabot and Jenny Carrol books, Hush, Hush and Cresendo by Becca Fitzpatrick, Fallen by Lauren Kate, Diving In series by Kate Cann, can't think of anything else, I'll update when I do.


Now, I'm serious about this, if you want me to read your story, then you better read and do these.

26 Golden Rules for Writing Well

1. Don't abbrev
2. Check to see if you any words out
3. Be carefully to use adjectives and adverbs correct
4. About sentence fragments
5. When dangling, don't use participles
6. Don't use no double negatives
7. Each pronoun agrees with their antecedent
8. Just between you and I, case is important
9. Join clauses good, like a conjunction should
10. Don't use commas, that aren't necessary
11. Its important to use apostrophe's right
12. It's better not to unnecessarily split an infinitive
13. Never leave a transitive verb just lay there without an object
14. Only Proper Nouns should be capitalized. also a sentence should begin with a capital letter and end with a full stop
15. Use hyphens in compound-words, not just in any two-word phrase
16. In letters compositions reports and things like that we use commas to keep a string of items apart
17. Watch out for irregular verbs that have creeped into our language
18. Verbs has to agree with their subjects
19. Avoid unnecessary redundancy
20. A writer mustn't shift your point of view
21. Don't write a run-on sentence you've got to punctuate it
22. A preposition isn't a good thing to end a sentence with
23. Avoid cliches like the plague
24. 1 final thing is to never start a sentence with a number
25. Always check your work for accuracy and completeness

Copy & Pastes

~If Faxness is one of your obsessions, copy and paste this in your profile

~If you absolutely KILLED yourself laughing when Gazzy said "'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' then copy this to your profile!

~If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If you are like Max, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If you want to see Maximum Ride (the movie) on the first day it comes out, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If you wish Max would stop running from Fang copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

~Copy this and paste it on your profile if you think sarcasm is a conditioned reflex.

~If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

~If you agree that Fang is Fangalicious, copy this into your profile.

~If you agree that Robert Pattinson SHOULD NOT be Fang in the Maximum Ride (the movie), copy and paste this in your profile.

~If you think Avril Lavigne SHOULD play Max, you know the drill. Copy and paste to profile.

~If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you were insane, crazy, and/or random, before being crazy, insane, and/or random was cool, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

~92 percent of teenagers would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it wasn't cool to breathe. Put this in your profile if you would be part of the 8 percent laughing your butt off

~If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

~If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

~If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

~If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile.

~If you are crazy, copy this into your profile.

~If you think Fang and Max should have gotten together in the first book, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you think people who only like Paramore because of Twilight are losers, than copy this into your profile.

~If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or the vise versa copy this into your profile.

~If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

~If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile.
- Nothing wrong with talking to yourself. XD

~If you or your best friend is insane, copy this into your profile.

~If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

~If you've ever lost someone you loved, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If you have ever been called a bookworm and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

~If you do not use the typing system as taught and yet your typing system is quite effective, copy and paste this to your profile.

~If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is, put this in your profile.

~If your profile is longer than most of the chapters in your stories, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile. HELL YEAH!

~If your fashion sense is "is it comfortable?", copy this to your profile.

~If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you've read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

~If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile.

~If you actually take the time to read copy and pastes, copy this onto your profile.

~If you've ever copied and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile.

~If you can listen to a song and match some of the lyrics up to your life (and the lives of your favourite characters), copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If you absolutely LOVE to sing even though you may or may not suck, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~I want child abuse to stop, and if you do, too, copy and paste this onto your profile.

~If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

~If You like chocolate as much as I do, copy this into your profile.

~If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

~If you think that writing Fanfic stories is fun then copy this onto your profile!

~If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

~If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

~If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this on your profile.

~98 percent of teenagers do or have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who haven't, copy & paste this in your profile.

~If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

~If you are against fur coats or killing animals just to look good, copy this into your profile

~Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

~If you say 'yeah' a lot copy this to your profile.


Quotes

"If you aren't going to believe me when I answer you're question, then you damn well shouldn't of asked!" - Love Life and Covens

"Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. Then when you DO criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes!" - Jace

"Coke- It's healthier than crack." -CloudCatcher74

"You're being ridiculous."
"I'm a teenager, I'm allowed to be ridiculous." -Joceyln & Clary, Turbulence by ddpjclaf

"Sarcasm is the body's natural defense against stupidity."

"Boys are like slinkies. They seem useless but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs."

"Boys are like parking spaces. All the good ones are taken and the only ones left are the handicapped."(Nothing against hadicapped people, it isn't actually meant literally.)

"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order."

"The best part of 'believe' is the 'lie.'"

"We don't cut ourselves with razors or pieces of broken glass, but with pieces of our shattered heart."

"The higher I go, the greater I fall."

"Don't dream, don't start, wishing only wounds the heart."

"Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option."

"Guys are like stars; there are millions of them but only one can make your wishes come true."

"A girl worth kissing is not easily kissed."

"Don’t cry over someone who won’t cry over you."

"The best feelings are those that have no words to describe them."

"Second chances. They don't ever matter, people never change."

"Isn't it ironic? We ignore who adores us, adore who ignores us, love who hurts us, and hurt who loves us."

"If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?"

"Of all the animals, the boy is the most unmanageable."

"It is rare that one can see in a little boy the promise of a man, but one can almost always see in a little girl the threat of a woman."

"Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance."

“The love that lasts the longest is the love that is never returned.”

"It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces." I do believe so.

"When nothing goes right...Go left."

"I'm not random. You just can't think as fast as me...TACO CAKE! See? You were still processing taco when I said cake." - H.J. (max88301) when her dad said that she was random.

"I've decided that as long as I was going to Hell, I might as well do it thoroughly." - Edward Cullen-Twilight

"I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge, Maximum Ride-SOF

"Rowr!" -Fang, Maximum Ride-SOF

"She offered to cook breakfast."-Fang, MR-SOF

"I'm hit, Max. They got me. I guess I'm gonna live fast, die young, and leave a beautiful corpse, huh?" Okay. In my experience, if you're really hit or seriously hurt, you don't say much. -Total and Max, MAX

"Girls, revenge doesn't always help anything,"
"So? It's a hell of load of fun."

"I believe misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat."
-Dumbledore-HP

"Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people's business."
"Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git."
"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor." -The Maurader's Map-HP-PoA

"I want to fix that in my memory forever, Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."-Ron, HP-GoF


Hysterical Scenrios:

I took these from H.J.'s (max88301) profile, I'm sorry, they were just too damn funny.

Angel- *Rolls into class like a ninja.*
H.J.- *Rolls in after her*
Mrs. Mason- Girls! Get to your seats before I give you both detention!
Angel- Ooh! Detention! Too late Brenda! We already have it for a month!
H.J.-*Nods & uses German accent.* And ze month afta zat, Ve vill be in Germany becoming German diplomats!
Class- *Laugh*
Mrs. Mason- *Glares*
Logan- Against my better judgment, I will point out the fact that, nowhere in the school handbook does it say that we don't have the right to laugh.

Angel and H.J.- *Walk into the Lunch room*
H.J.- *Stands on lunchroom table*
Angel-*Whistles loudly until everyone is quiet and joins me on the table*
H.J. & Angel- WORLD LAMENATION!!!!!!!!!

HOW COULD YOU? - By Jim Willis, 2001 When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub. My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect. We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day. Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love. She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate. Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway. There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog ," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family, " but there was a time when I was your only family. I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life. You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the 2 nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago & made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads & asked "How could you?" They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?" Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her . It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters. Please use this to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter animals in order to prevent unwanted animals. Please pass this on to everyone, not to hurt them or make them sad, but it could save maybe, even one, unwanted pet. Remember...They love UNCONDITIONALLY.

I'm that girl who cries without anyone seeing it.
I'm that girl who hurts herself without anyone knowing it.
I'm that girl who is smiles but is hurting inside.
I'm that girl who guides but doesn't know what's right.
I'm that girl who shines but doesn't glow in the dark.
I'm that girl who's kind but never feels the mark.
I'm that girl who'd fight for someone else's rights.
But I'm also that girl who can't sleep at night.
Outside I'm pretty, I'm glowing, I'm strong.
But inside I'm hurting, knowing I don't belong.
I think of that weight that just hangs above me,
Dropping onto my shoulders ever so slowly.
I don't fight it, I don't struggle,
I just hold it up.
The force on my shoulders,
I'm begging it to stop.
But I just hold it together,
And keep the smile on my face.
Just hoping one day,
Someone can take my place.

"Forget the risk, take the fall.
If it’s meant to be, it’s worth it all."

Mummy...Johnny brought a gun to school
He told his friends that it was cool
And when he pulled the trigger back
It shot with a great crack
Mummy I was a good girl
I did what I was told
I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold
But mummy when I went to school that day, I never said goodbye
I'm sorry mummy I had to go, but mommy please don't cry
When Johnny shot the gun he hit me and another
And all because he got the gun from his older brother
Mummy please tell daddy that I love him very much
And please tell Chris, my boyfriend, that it wasn't just a crush
And tell my little sister that she is the only one now
And tell my dear sweet grandmother that I'll be waiting for her now
And tell my wonderful friends that they were always the best
Mummy I'm not the first I'm no better than the rest
Mummy tell my teachers I won't show up for class
And never to forget this and please don't let this pass
Mummy why'd it have to be me no one deserves this
Mummy warn the others, mummy I left without a kiss
And mummy tell the doctors I know they really did try
I think I even saw a doctor trying not to cry
Mummy I'm slowly dying with a bullet in my chest
But mummy please remember I'm in heaven with the rest
Mummy I ran as fast as I could when I heard that crack
Mummy listen to me if you would
I wanted to go to college
I wanted to try things that were new
I guess I'm not going with daddy
On that trip to the new zoo
I wanted to get married
I wanted to have a kid
I wanted to be an actress
Mummy I wanted to live
But mummy I must go now
The time is getting late
Mummy tell my Chris
I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date
I love you mummy I always have
I know you know it's true
Mummy all I wanted to say is "mummy I love you"
In memory of the Columbian students that were lost
Please if you would
Pass this around
I'd be happy if you could
Don't smash this on the ground
If you pass this on
Maybe people will cry
Just keep this in heart
For the people that didn't get to say "goodbye."

For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK alot, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I MUST have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I MUST be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE GOOD GRADES, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I have big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I MUST be a Nazi.
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I hang out with GAYS, so I MUST be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I MUST not have fun.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.
I'm a SKATER so I MUST do weed and steal stuff.
I'm a PUNK so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks.
I'm ASIAN so I MUST be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.
I'm MIXED so I MUST be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.
I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I go to a PRIVATE SCHOOL so i must be rich and snooty.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.
I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts.
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.
I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.
I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I MUST be a HOMOPHOBE.
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins.
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan.
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love SLASH, so I MUST be GAY.
I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake.
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems. (Actually, this is true, but it isn't the point.)
I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist.
I'm a CUTTER so I MUST want to commit SUICIDE.
I have been to THERAPY so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED.


What a guy means, when he says some stuff:
"You know how bad my memory is!”
"I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned…but I forgot your birthday."
“Oh, don’t fuss, I just cut myself, it’s not big deal.”
"I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."
“Take a breath honey. You work too hard.
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
"It‘s a guy thing"
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
"Can I help with dinner?"
"Why isn't it already on the table?"
"It would take too long to "
"I have no idea how it works."
"I can't find it."
"It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."

Here is all you need to know about men and woman:
Men are dumb.
Women are crazy.
And the reason women are crazy is because men are dumb.


Comebacks

Girl Comebacks!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together.

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Random Comebacks:

If a parent/guardian asks you, "What did you learn at school today?" answer, "I learnt how to survive it."

When people say, "It's always in the last place you look." Say to them, "Well of course it is! Why the hell would I keep looking for it after I found it?!"

While waiting at a bus stop, if someone asks you, "Has the bus come yet?" reply, "If the bus had come, I wouldn't be standing here now would I?"

She's my best friend. Break her heart and I'll break your face.

(Say to a boy:) Yes, I hit like a girl. You could too if you hit a bit harder.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!

Yeah I'm unique, just like every one else.

Yeah, the grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was going to blame you.

I'm not crazy, you're just more sane than I am.

I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead.

I only have PMS on days that end in the letter "y".

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

I didn't slap you! I hi-fived your face!

My door is always open, so feel free to leave.

I am in shape...round is a shape.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

One tequila... two tequila... three tequila...floor!

I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore, I'm perfect!

Our health teacher told us that "1 out of 3 people who start smoking will eventually die." The other two apparently became immortal.

I am on the seafood diet. I see food and I eat it!

My mum keeps complaining I never listen to her...or something like that.

Intelligence has limits, stupidity doesn't.

Smile...it confuses people!

Ifyoucanreadthisthenyouarewaytoosmartforyourowngood.

If it wasn't for electricity, we would all be watching TV by candle light.

A balanced diet is a piece of chocolate in each hand.

Did you know 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions?

God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman.

We could all take a lesson from crayons: some are sharp, some are beautiful, some have weird names, all are different colors, but they still learn to live in the same box.

You laugh because I'm different. I laugh because you're all the same.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

A positive attitude may not solve all of your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.


Proof that we, the human race, will kill ourselves because of our stupidity:

Actual things on products:

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos! ..You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how?...)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought?...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and.. .I'm taking this because?...)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


Me:

I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago.

What have you pulled?

If you have pulled a Max: You have made a snap decision and decided to do it without thinking it through first.
If you have pulled a Fang: You have sneaked up behind someone without them noticing, making it seem like you came out of nowhere.
If you have pulled a Iggy: You have run into an inaminate object without realizing it was there. This could include, poles, wall, doors, tables, etc. (Someone help me with this, I can see perfecly fine, but I do it more than the blind kid, who can navigate though a whole crowd without tripping.)
If you have pulled a Nudge: You have talked about something nonstop for the past five minutes, not allowing anyone else to speak. This is also known as rambling.
If you have pulled a Gazzy: You have farted in a big group of people really loudly, and everyone could hear it and smell it.
If you have pulled a Angel: You have invaded someone elses personal space, without any consideration for that person. You can also pull a Angel by gaining a whole lot of useless powers that you don't really need...but I highly recomend the first one.
If you have ever pulled any of these things stick this on your profile and write which ones you have pulled.
I have pulled a Max, Fang, Iggy(all the F-ING time!), and Angel. PRETTY sure I haven't pulled the others.


Random:

When you're right, no one remembers. When you're wrong, no one forgets.

To attract men, wear a perfume called New Car Interior.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

They say "guns don't kill people; people kill people", but I think guns help. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you would kill too many people.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Real friends don't let you do stupid things... alone.

It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face.

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them?

Be thankful for what you have, because it's probably more than most.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away so they can’t hear you and you still have their shoes on.

You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

Where's the good in goodbye?

Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift, that's why we call it the present!

There's a light at the end of every tunnel...lets just hope it's not a train.

Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose.

What My Mother Taught Me

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Make your mother proud, don't smoke pot or stop breathing because Abrocrombie and Fitch tell you its not cool to breath.

Feel free to PM me anytime.

Thanks,
Love Life and Covens

P.S. If I said anything crazy, I'm always super bored and looking for stuff to do, so that's why.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

The name of the game is Fax by TwilightloveandFaximumRide reviews
Fax. Fax, Fax, Fax, Fax, with a bit of Eggy/Illa. That's all there is to say. Fax. Rated T for, well, Fax.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 27 - Words: 29,081 - Reviews: 885 - Favs: 299 - Follows: 303 - Updated: 11/18/2016 - Published: 6/1/2009 - Fang, Max
Love Games by SolidScriptJess reviews
Clary is the It girl at her high school. Jace is the bad-boy no one touches unless they want their heart broken. Both are playing the game of love. But when dared to ask out Clary, will the two end up giving up their game—or worse—make it a competition?
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 18 - Words: 52,549 - Reviews: 521 - Favs: 489 - Follows: 730 - Updated: 12/2/2014 - Published: 5/9/2010 - Jace W., Clary F.
Painful Secrets and I Love You's by Amber.Hummingbird reviews
Max is the new girl, and Fang is the bad boy who can't get over his ex, Lissa. When Nudge introduces them to each other, sparks fly. Slight AU. FAXNESS ON HIATUS!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 13,818 - Reviews: 144 - Favs: 71 - Follows: 90 - Updated: 1/14/2014 - Published: 4/13/2010 - Max, Fang
Turbulence by ddpjclaf reviews
*RE-POST* While dealing with a loss, Clary befriends her new neighbor's troubled foster-son. Can their friendship help them let go of the pain or will their pasts intervene and rip them apart? (Due to Fanfiction disabling the C&P ability, I am re-posting this story here. Thank you to all who have been so supportive!)
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 34 - Words: 210,843 - Reviews: 2435 - Favs: 2,174 - Follows: 833 - Updated: 10/17/2013 - Published: 2/15/2010 - Jace W., Clary F. - Complete
Sir, Yes, Sir by lavalamp29 reviews
Fang's dad is the head of the country's best boot camp. Fang wants to prove to his dad that he is the perfect son. The camp acquires the worst trouble maker, Max, and Fang is assigned to whip her into shape. Will he be able to tame Max? FAX! DUH!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 22 - Words: 81,610 - Reviews: 1438 - Favs: 682 - Follows: 656 - Updated: 12/26/2012 - Published: 11/19/2010 - Max, Fang
Secrets Unkept by Fanged reviews
Maximum Ride is new to school. She meets Nudge, Ella, Iggy, and Gazzy, and Fang, the instantly become friends. But, when Max and Fang look like they might really get together, Max has to spill her secret: she's being abused. T for violence and language
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 40 - Words: 42,175 - Reviews: 894 - Favs: 252 - Follows: 249 - Updated: 10/29/2012 - Published: 7/18/2010 - Max, Fang
Firefighter: the chiefs daughter by Fangrules reviews
Fang is the rookie fire-fighter newly assigned to station 24. Max is the chiefs daughter - the forbidden fruit. What happens when they fall for each other? will they be happy or will their pasts get in the way?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 58,199 - Reviews: 977 - Favs: 433 - Follows: 168 - Updated: 10/8/2012 - Published: 3/28/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Secrets and Sacrifices by GoneForever2017 reviews
Max lives a secret double life, unbeknown to her long time friends at school. When Nick begins attending the same school as her, their lives begin to entwine closely...full summary inside. AU. No Wings. Fax fluff. Violence, language, maybe other Ms later.
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 72 - Words: 156,337 - Reviews: 596 - Favs: 336 - Follows: 292 - Updated: 8/26/2012 - Published: 8/14/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
All's Fair When Love Is War by MarineLullaby reviews
Clary and Jace have hated each other since High School, but everything changes the morning after the night of their college graduation. "You know what they say, Clary; all's fair when love is war." Let the battle commence. AH and a little OOC. R&R!
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 13 - Words: 49,794 - Reviews: 503 - Favs: 589 - Follows: 669 - Updated: 7/6/2012 - Published: 2/1/2010 - Clary F., Jace W.
Looking Glass by Majesta Moniet reviews
Post-Clockwork Prince. A spell with unexpected side effects forces Will to face the one thing he wishes he could hide from and the one thing he cannot live without: the love he bears for Tessa and Jem.
Infernal Devices, Cassandra Clare - Rated: M - English - Drama/Angst - Chapters: 1 - Words: 7,668 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 61 - Follows: 13 - Published: 1/23/2012 - Will H. - Complete
The Love of Fighting and Fighters by XxAngelWithWingsxX reviews
Maximum Ride: a black belt with a quick temper and an even quicker tongue. Fang Riley: a street fighter nicknamed Shadow, and known for his deadly silence. Put them together and you have one heck of a story. FAX. No wings. Continued by me.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 33 - Words: 38,253 - Reviews: 385 - Favs: 205 - Follows: 142 - Updated: 12/30/2011 - Published: 2/12/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
Metamorphic by fakeditfromthewordgo reviews
Friends, music and Converse. All Max needs to be happy. At least, until a certain black-haired boy comes into her life, and starts to turn all her ideas of boys in general upside down... Fax, Eggy/Igkachu: read it, it'll all make sense... *All human*
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 32 - Words: 113,783 - Reviews: 966 - Favs: 272 - Follows: 268 - Updated: 8/9/2011 - Published: 6/12/2010 - Fang, Max
Begging for Mercy by LostGetFound reviews
Set a while after City of Glass. Jace and Clary. Fluff and fighting. Jace flew forward, tackling the demon and throwing the knife from its hand. He punched the demon hard in its face, effectively breaking its nose. "I. Told. You. Not. To. Touch. Her."
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Supernatural - Chapters: 41 - Words: 114,827 - Reviews: 730 - Favs: 856 - Follows: 492 - Updated: 4/3/2011 - Published: 5/2/2010 - Clary F., Jace W. - Complete
A Nightmare Lived by CrazyLittleKookoo reviews
This is why Max is stronger than anyone. This was what they did to her, she was sent to the school after living at the Arena. This is what they did to her and how she fought back. This is a prequel to my story A Haunted Past read it! May be FAX later on.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 37,098 - Reviews: 89 - Favs: 43 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 2/16/2011 - Published: 10/10/2009 - Max, Fang - Complete
Unheeded Warning: Synergy by DZAuthor AKA DZMom reviews
IN PROGRESS. The Flock faces danger while Max faces her worst enemy. Who can she trust? Does anyone ever tell her the truth? What really happened after The Final Warning? Rated Teen for Limes - non-explicit sexual activity - and violence. AUDIO - SEE CH 1
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 72,173 - Reviews: 110 - Favs: 24 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 1/7/2011 - Published: 12/2/2008 - Max, Fang
Move Along by shelbae reviews
Fang: Bad boy exchange student. Max: "Good girl" gone bad. One house. Two people. Well, five really. Not quite a plot yet. Humorish. T for language and possible violence. I like it! Finally, a title! Move Along All-American Rejects. Love the song or die.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 23 - Words: 58,614 - Reviews: 367 - Favs: 135 - Follows: 102 - Updated: 12/24/2010 - Published: 9/3/2010 - Max, Fang
Birds of a Feather by MaxRide97 reviews
All human. Max moves from New York to Washington to live with her mom and sister hoping that she can move on from her past and forget it ever happens. But that soon becomes hard when her past follows her and threatens to ruin her future. FAX
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 19 - Words: 25,592 - Reviews: 71 - Favs: 45 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 12/24/2010 - Published: 8/1/2010 - Max, Fang
Dorm Ride by nightwings93 reviews
In order to escape her past, Max gets accepted to her college of choice. Only there's a catch: she has to live in the ALL BOYS dorm! What happens when she meets Fang, the pyrotwins Iggy&Gazzy, and a whole horde of other hot guys? All Human
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 60 - Words: 141,577 - Reviews: 3651 - Favs: 1,119 - Follows: 604 - Updated: 12/22/2010 - Published: 11/11/2009 - Complete
don't you dare stop by pencilsinabag reviews
She counts every scar she knows—that jagged one just below his collarbone from a Mover she didn't see coming, tiny cigarette burn scars from that one time a Screamer thought torture by burning would be better then shattering his ear drums.
Push - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,166 - Reviews: 4 - Favs: 67 - Follows: 4 - Published: 12/12/2010 - Cassie H., Nick G. - Complete
I Scream, You Scream by ddpjclaf reviews
Sometimes a little ice cream is all it takes... O/S written for a fic exchange. Canon, though may be a little OOC. Rated M for schmexy times, but no lemon. POST CoG.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 1 - Words: 3,498 - Reviews: 92 - Favs: 354 - Follows: 86 - Published: 11/3/2010 - Jace W., Clary F. - Complete
The Girl With the Burned on Wings by shelbae reviews
Max has lived in foster care since the time she was twelve. She gets adopted by the Martinezs' and promises herself not to get attached, but that's hard when she finds she loves them. I suck at summaries. Just read it.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 32,424 - Reviews: 302 - Favs: 184 - Follows: 101 - Updated: 10/16/2010 - Published: 8/4/2010 - Max, Fang - Complete
City of Embers by Livealovestory reviews
Rated T for language. This story picks up one month after the battle in Alicante. Someone from Jaces past comes back into the picture. Someone that he is not happy to see again. The same someone that happens to be Clary's new mentor.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 11 - Words: 30,571 - Reviews: 90 - Favs: 79 - Follows: 92 - Updated: 10/4/2010 - Published: 4/30/2010 - Clary F., Jace W.
Sins, Surprises, and Shadowhunters by Ellie weasel reviews
Clary is adjusting to life as a Shadowhunter, with Jace by her side. She gets used to training, and Isabelle's cooking and shopping trips, but she is not prepared when a series of mysterious demon attacks appear, and she is forced to fight.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Chapters: 5 - Words: 6,485 - Reviews: 15 - Favs: 23 - Follows: 25 - Updated: 9/7/2010 - Published: 12/15/2009 - Clary F., Jace W.
Anniversary by JEN-D7 reviews
One year after the city of glass. The gang are headed to the 1 year Anniversary party of the battle in Alicante - things seem to get weird - someone's back and they're after a certain red head. Read and Review XD
Mortal Instruments - Rated: K+ - English - Chapters: 37 - Words: 50,778 - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 133 - Follows: 40 - Updated: 8/24/2010 - Published: 4/15/2010 - Jace W., Clary F. - Complete
Signs by lisalulu reviews
Andy is still reeling from Sam's lecture outside the warehouse after the gun bust. Sam walks into the women's locker room and becomes the target of Andy's frustration. A lesson on 'reading the signs' follows.
Rookie Blue - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 10,692 - Reviews: 85 - Favs: 200 - Follows: 72 - Updated: 8/13/2010 - Published: 8/2/2010 - A. McNally, S. Swarek - Complete
Nikki by crunchyqtpi reviews
15 years ago, Max left. No explanation. Now, she has a husband and three children. Max and her daughter, *Fang's daughter*, set out to find Fang. FAX in later chapters, OCxOC, Niggy? T for language for now... I suck at summaries... R&R! TWT
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Friendship - Chapters: 11 - Words: 11,574 - Reviews: 87 - Favs: 32 - Follows: 45 - Updated: 7/12/2010 - Published: 5/25/2009 - Max, Fang
You Had Me At Hello by xoxoitsamandaa reviews
Originally known as Taking It Slow/OOC/ Maybe a swollen ankle will make Clary's life a little better than she thought. Or maybe worse. Only time will tell.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,812 - Reviews: 201 - Favs: 144 - Follows: 156 - Updated: 7/8/2010 - Published: 10/18/2009 - Clary F., Jace W.
She Will Be Loved by Jace'sAngel reviews
Jace has been in love with Clary since Junior year of high school, and she can't deal with it. He's been hurting, but he still answers when a call from Isabelle forces him to drive Clary home. A/U, very angsty and fluffy. Rated T for under-age drinking.
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 11,190 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 78 - Follows: 83 - Updated: 7/1/2010 - Published: 5/24/2010 - Jace W., Clary F.
On The Run by wolflover777 reviews
This is as if Max didn't know the flock. What happens when the flock finds her injured one night, after she just blew up the School. The flock doesn't know the ropes to being on the run. Max does. Will she join them? Will Max and Fang fall in love?
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 18,181 - Reviews: 88 - Favs: 58 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 6/28/2010 - Published: 4/24/2010 - Max, Fang
Is This Really Home? by wolflover777 reviews
Fang's next door neighbors adopt Max. He's the popular bad boy in school. She's the tough, sarcastic orphan. Will they get along? Will Max tell them how she became an orphan? First story, so suggestions are very appreciated! Chapter 18 is now up!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Family - Chapters: 19 - Words: 34,779 - Reviews: 452 - Favs: 227 - Follows: 189 - Updated: 6/27/2010 - Published: 4/20/2010 - Max, Fang
Around the World by Zikkie reviews
Max and Fang have finally gotten together, but then Max disappears. After finding a note from 'Max,' Fang starts a search around the world for her. But will he find Max? Or will his expiration date get him before he does? AH, AU. Sequel to Separation.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Romance - Chapters: 3 - Words: 3,209 - Reviews: 70 - Favs: 33 - Follows: 42 - Updated: 4/24/2010 - Published: 11/30/2009 - Fang, Max
Forgotten Angels by ToesNtheWater reviews
Clary and her family must flee the city when her sadistic father returns to their lives. At Luke's farmhouse Clary meets the Lightwoods and their adopted son, Jace. The misunderstood teens must overcome their difficult pasts together.OOC/Human/no bro/sis
Mortal Instruments - Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Chapters: 16 - Words: 75,095 - Reviews: 357 - Favs: 388 - Follows: 405 - Updated: 4/17/2010 - Published: 6/14/2009 - Clary F., Jace W.
Risen by The Other Perspective reviews
Who needs a heart when you're part demon? Jonathan is back, and on a hunt for the Morgenstern ring... Meanwhile, Simon prepares to leave for New York to go back to mundane school... Clary and Jaceness golore. First FanFic, please read!
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 8 - Words: 10,208 - Reviews: 48 - Favs: 26 - Follows: 27 - Updated: 12/31/2009 - Published: 9/9/2009
Shattered by brightXheadedXwarrior reviews
When something horribel happens to Clary, she closes herself off. Can Jace pull her through, or will Clary never be the same? Summary sucks JxC
Mortal Instruments - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Romance - Chapters: 4 - Words: 5,101 - Reviews: 62 - Favs: 60 - Follows: 91 - Updated: 3/31/2009 - Published: 3/23/2009 - Clary F., Jace W.
Field Trip by MaidenChina reviews
Max and the flock go back to school and are on ANOTHER field trip. Very manga-ish themes, such as overnight stay in a hotel and hot springs... need I say more? MAJORLY FLUFFY and TOTALLY FAX. First fanfic, please read and review!
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 12 - Words: 22,029 - Reviews: 242 - Favs: 106 - Follows: 75 - Updated: 2/14/2009 - Published: 11/15/2008 - Max, Fang - Complete
Rain by Spirited Heart reviews
I looked into his eyes as his breath was warm upon my face and neck, and his hands danced on my skin. I love you, He whispered over and over, not quite a question but not a definite statement, either. In his arms and gaze I was spinning. MAJOR FAX.
Maximum Ride - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 1 - Words: 830 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 19 - Follows: 4 - Published: 4/20/2008
Konstantine by javoraf reviews
SongficOneshot Fax 'And this piece here, this is something special. This is every emotion I tried to keep hidden. This is my confession. This is for her. This is for my Max. My Konstantine' based off Something Corporate's Konstantine. language,adult stuff
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,439 - Reviews: 83 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 8 - Published: 6/25/2007 - Fang, Max - Complete
In My Arms reviews
Convincing Max to be with Fang... might be something only Fang can manage.
Maximum Ride - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 2,301 - Reviews: 63 - Favs: 28 - Follows: 43 - Updated: 8/16/2010 - Published: 7/23/2010 - Max, Fang