![]() Author has written 2 stories for Harry Potter. I am a avid harry potter fan and I love glee and lots of old and new sci fi shows. I also love to watch anime. I'm 25 years old, and a veteran from the army. As I have written original stories before I thought I would try my hand at fan fiction. I write a mix of Slash and Non-Slash so I will post a warning if it is slash. I will try my best to post regularly but there may be times where I shower you guys with chapters and times where there are days or a week between chapters. (admittedly i will do my absolute best to post regularly) Also I have a profile on Archive of Our Own and will be posting my stories there as well :) My profile is under the same name Ileleana so feel free to follow me on there as well. Now for all the random funny stuff people add to their profiles: Favorite Quotes from fanfictions: 1. "At the risk of sounding hypocritical, my lord." he said with a smirk. "To borrow a muggle phrase; 'Fate's a bitch.'"Harry chuckled. "Actually, I believe that's 'payback's a bitch', but it certainly applies to fate as well." He paused to put the pensieve away in a locked cabinet with a wave of his hand before speaking again. "No." he said thoughtfully. "I'd have to say Fate is a big guy in leather on a Harley fresh out of prison and he wants me as his bitch.""Oh, what a pleasant thought." Lucius quipped. "Then we can send Fate back to prison for pedophilia and make our own destiny." - Curse of Fate by Mistress Nika 2. "Expecto Patronum!"He [Harry] hadn't really expected anything but, if asked, he would have said that a shiny stag should have appeared and driven the dementors away.Instead, he produced a huge (though correctly shiny) shape of basilisk that began to work its way through the sea of the black-robed creatures, destroying them with the power of its sight. It casually grabbed one dementor into its jaws and munched on it, while looking left and right and apparently destroying an entire species."Light wizard, right…" Tom remarked, while Harry was trying to figuratively collect his jaw from the ground. "You, Mr [Potter, are a freak of nature."When the last dementor in sight was reduced to a heap of bones, ugly greenish skin and black rags, and the glowing king of snakes disappeared from view, searching for other prey, Harry finally found his voice."Tell me about it."—Visionary, by BC 3. "Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house, is forbidden."—Curse of Fate: Outtakes by Mistress Nika 4. Spock isn't going to do anything awesome and then think to himself how kick-ass he is. He's Vulcan, after all. If he found the cure for all diseases, he'd just be kind of like, "It was a logical conclusion based on the information at hand" and the "eat it, bitches" would be communicated through eyebrows alone.—Atlas, authors note 5. "Enemy ninjas are not required to fill out any bureaucratic forms before they kill you. We are admittedly quite impressed that you managed to convince them of this, though."—Things Team Nineteen Are No Longer Allowed To Do by H.E.Gray 6. "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. Please state your name and the purpose of your visit," the cheery witch's voice announced to the six wizards tightly packed into the red telephone box."Death Eaters," Lucius said with a hint of amusement. "We're here to kill you." Dolohov had the audacity to smack him on the arm. The amusement in his voice vanished with a shocked exclamation of, "Ow! What was that for, you idiot?""They're never gonna let us in now!" the man replied as if it were obvious."O' ye of little faith," Lucius smirked at him. "I think I know the Ministry a bit better than you."Sure enough, to the surprise of everyone except Lucius, the voice thanked them, wished them a good day and a silver badge dropped down. Dolohov picked it up in wonder and read it aloud. "Death Eaters. Reason for visit: Homicide." He blinked at Lucius from behind his mask. "Well, I'll be a monkey's uncle."—Curse of Fate by Madam Nika 7. "Level One, Administrative Offices, including the office of the Minister for Magic."Rookwood threw up his hands in relief. "Finally!""Please enter your administrative passcode.""What?" Sirius asked in confusion."Oh, for the love of Merlin!" Remus cried, shouldering everyone out of the way. He slammed his hands into the doors with a resounding clang, claws gouging holes in them, and began to pull them open with obvious effort.Everyone blinked."You know," Rookwood said conversationally, "there's got to be at least a dozen spells on those doors to prevent them from being forced.""Tell that to the doors," Sirius replied as they were ripped open by the frustrated werewolf, revealing a narrow, and suspiciously empty, corridor beyond.Remus stood to the side of the lift, glared at them with flashing eyes and pointed a finger down the corridor."Out!" he demanded with a feral growl. They all rushed to comply."Remind me never to piss him off," Rookwood whispered to Sirius. Murmurs of agreement came from the others—Curse of Fate by Mistress Nika 50 Things I must NOT do at Hogwarts … (Please NOTE. NONE of these are mine. They're from someone else's profile, but I forgot to copy the pen-name (sorry)) 1. I will NOT sing “We’re off to see The Wizard” when I am sent to the headmasters office. 2. I will NOT feed the first years to Fluffy. 3. The Giant Squid is NOT an appropriate date to The Yule Ball. 4. Dobby is NOT Yoda is disguise. 5. He is NOT Gollum either. 6. I will NOT bring a magic-8-ball to Divination Class. 7. Shaving Mrs. Norris is NOT a public service. 8. My homework was NOT eaten by a werewolf. Especially when my teacher is Professor Lupin. 9. I will NOT tell the first years to make a tree-house in the Whomping Willow. 10. House Elves are NOT suitable replacements for bludgers. 11. Growing marijuana and/or hallucinogenic mushrooms does NOT count as Herbology extra-credit. 12. I will NOT give Lupin a flea collar. 13. Nor will I leave dog-biscuits on his desk. 14. I will NOT shout “FIRE!!” when I am near the Bowtruckles. 15. If a classmate falls asleep I will NOT take advantage of this and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. 16. Starting a betting-pool on the fate of this year’s Defense against the Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky. It is NOT a clever money-making concept. 17. I will NOT lick Trevor. 18. I do NOT have a Dalek Patronus. 19. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong. 20. I will NOT offer to prepare ‘Tandoori Owl’. 21. I will NOT teach House-Elves to impersonate Jar-Jar Binks. 22. Shouting “To Infinity and Beyond!” was only funny the first time I took off on a broom. 23. Saying “Remember - Save a Broom, Ride a Quidditch Player” is NOT an appropriate way to end a Quidditch practice. 24. When being interrogated by a member of staff I am NOT allowed to wave my hand in a casual manner and say “These are not the Droids you’re looking for”. 25. I will NOT refer to the summoning charm (Accio) as “The Force”. 26. First years are NOT toys; therefore I must NOT teach the Giant Squid to fetch them. 27. Spiking the school’s supply of pumpkin juice is NOT allowed, no matter how much we enjoyed ourselves that night. 28. “Springtime for Voldemort” is NOT an appropriate title for the school production. 29. I am NOT allowed to attempt to breed a ‘liger’. 30. I will NOT use Umbridge’s quill to write “Told you I was Hardcore”. 31. I will NOT greet Prof. McGonogall with “What’s new Pussy-cat?”. 32. There is NOT, nor will there ever be a fifth house at Hogwarts. I am not a member of aforementioned house, nor am I its founder. 33. I will NOT send shampoo to Snape’s office, no matter how badly he needs it. 34. "Potter 6, Voldemort 0", is not a valid T-shirt slogan. 35. Even though they are easier to use and probably more effective, I will not use guns against the Death Eaters. 36. I will not charm Firenze pink and call him "My Little Pony." 37. No matter how funny it is I will NOT leave kitty litter in Prof. McGonogall’s office. 38. I will NOT attempt to recreate “The Cornish Pixie” incident. 39. I will NOT attempt to convince Snape the color pink would “suit his complexion more.” 40. I will NOT dress up as Lord Voldemort for Halloween. 41. I will NOT ask Harry Potter if his “Scar-Senses” are tingling. 42. I will NOT call Dumbledore Santa Claus. Even if it is Christmas. 43. I will NOT tell Voldemort to “Get a life”. 44. Charming the Brooms to hum “Disney’s: The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” is annoying and NOT even remotely amusing. 45. I will NOT ask Pure-Blood students – “If your Mum & Dad got divorced, would they still be brother & sister?” 46. I must NOT mock Lupin about his "Time of The Month". 47. My Headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, NOT Gandalf. 48. I will NOT refer to new Defense against The Dark Arts teachers as "Lambs for the Slaughter". 49. Whenever I see a dementor I must NOT hiss "Sssssssshire, Bagginsssssss". 50. I must NOT sell Horcruxes on eBay. |
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