![]() Author has written 1 story for Twilight. FRIENDS AND BEST FRIENDS FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost. BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive. BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance. FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down. BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because they tripped me. FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me. BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me. FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops. BEST FRIENDS: Are probably the reason they’re after me in the first place. A good friend helps you find your prince. A best friend kidnaps him and brings him to you. A good friend will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. A best friend already has a shovel ready to bury the loser who made you cry. A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" A good friend tells you she knows how you feel. A best friend just sits down and cries. If you agree copy and paste this into your profile! Why Europe has some issues. 1. Only in Europe...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance. 2. Only in Europe...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink. 3. Only in Europe...do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke. 4. Only in Europe...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters. Copy and paste this and you'll get a free...COOKIE! Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer food: On sleep aid pills: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an American Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: Copy and paste them into your profile to continue the comedy! Copy and paste this in your profile If you didn't know the ABC's song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune... If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa. If you are crazy and proud of it. If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever walked into the men's toilets instead of the ladies or vice versa. If you think you have A.D.H.D., Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder like me! If you adore chocolate and frequently suffer from chocolate cravings. If you think you have too many of these "put this in your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now. Milk tastes good. People If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question. If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time. If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus. If you have ever wanted to just SLAP someone. Call me crazy, but I'm just random so… if you're random and proud of it. This is Bunny. Copy and paste him into your profile to help him dominate the world! ╚╗╔╣║║║║║║║║║╩╠╗╔╝Ѽ Books But to me they are friends I laugh with them They've let me into If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile. Child Abuse My name is Chris If you’re against child abuse copy and paste this into your profile. Things to copy and paste Its always in the last place you look...of course it is, why the hell would you keep looking after you find it? It takes 42 muscles to frown, 28 to smile and only 4 to reach out and slap someone. If life gives you lemons, make grape juice, and let the world wonder how you did it. Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away from them and you have stolen their shoes. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up Of course I'm talking to myself, who else can I trust? One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions. I'm not afraid of Death, what's it gonna do, kill me? Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control! If two wrongs don't make a right...try three. 1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your 3 best friends. If it's not one of them...it's you. We're best friends. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You just jumped off a bridge...damn, I'm gonna miss your sorry ass. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family. So it's one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Collin. Or my other brother Ho-Chan-Chu...I think it's Collin. Let flip a coin- heads we'll be together, tails we flip again. Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books. Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most. Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on the washing machine. I'm going to live forever, or die trying. If I had something good to say, I would have already said it. Never knock on Death's door- ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that. Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use together. If you get a low enough SAT score, you should be able to park in the handicap space. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice? Education is important, school however, is another matter. Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder! They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before. Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. The newsman is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots. People say Bin Ladin is dead. He’s not dead. He’s alive and hiding in the White House. I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens. Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for milk. The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory. I'm not short, I'm fun sized. When you get caught looking at him, remember, he was looking back. Girls are like phones, we love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : ) Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls really! Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up, all our operators are too busy to talk to you. Thank you for using Mental Health Hot-line. Being mature is overrated. People who say "nothing's impossible" have never tried slamming a revolving door. I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse. The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide. Abortion Dear Mommy, I am in Heaven now, sitting on Jesus' lap. He loves me and I don't quite understand what has happened. I was so excited Even from my earliest days, I felt a special bonding between One day you cried almost all of the day. I hurt for you. I Complete terror is all I felt. I screamed and screamed until I I wanted to make all your tears go away. I had so many plans I wanted to tell you that I love you before I was gone, but I The angel took me to Jesus and set me on His lap. He said He I'm writing to say that I love you and to tell you how much I Love, Your Baby Girl If you’re against child abuse, copy and paste this into your profile I’m not that little girl I'm not that little girl anymore But my dreams aren't populated Sometimes I wanna scream and shout I still do stupid things, Through the years But I am still unsure Just a poem I like. Still don’t know why I wrote it though. The desperate painter The painter's brush glided over the canvas. His painting, ha! More like ten discarded paintings. His paints and canvas in hand, he decided to try yet again. He'd try the park again, for the fifth time. Well the world was rather depressing today. The fine foods and wine. As he walked down the streets, He made it to his apartment finally. He looked out the window, and found his masterpiece. He painted for hours straight Just as he finished the clouds covered the bit of sun Another poem that started out as a scribble :) |
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