My Personal Information:

Full Name: Three names

Address: A number, A street, A city, A state

Age: A number

Family: Some people

Friends: Some more people

12 facts I know about YOU!

1. You're reading this.

2.Now you’re thinking that’s a stupid fact.

4.You didn’t notice that I skipped 3.

5.You're checking it now.

6.You’re smiling.

7.You’re still reading this.

8.You know all you have read is true.

10.You didn’t notice that I skipped 9.

11.You’re checking it now.

12.You didn't notice there are only 10 facts.

I hate cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren’t two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren’t two footballs feetballs? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I’m just random! If you’re random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If JUSTIN BEAVER (I meant to spell it that way) dies 90% of girls will die too, 5% would scream, if your one of the 5% who will throw a big party in celebation of his death, copy and paste this on your profile!

I AM THE ANTI-TWILIGHT FAN

It's not "When wild animals attack!!" It's more like "When stupid/careless people get bit!"

Always remember, you're unique...just like everyone else!!

It's so simple to be wise! Just think of something stupid to say and then say the exact opposite...

Love your enemies, it pisses them off.

And just when I found the key to success...someone goes and changes all the locks!!

I used to have a handle on life... and then it broke.

It's always funny until someone gets hurt!!...then it's hysterical.

I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you.

Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

One day your prince will come. Mine? Oh he took a wrong turn, got lost, and is too stubborn to ask for directions

Things my Mother Taught Me:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE

"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me RELIGION

"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me REASON

"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My Mother taught me LOGIC

"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident"

7. My mother taught me IRONY

"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM

"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA

"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER

"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

12. My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS

"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen THEN?"

13. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times--Don't exaggerate!!!"

14. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE

"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

15. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION

"Stop acting like your father!"

16. My mother taught me about ENVY!

"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

17.My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION

"Just wait until we get home."

18. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING

"You are going to get it when we get home!"

19. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE

"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

20. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD

"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

21. My Mother taught me ESP

"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

22. My Mother taught me HUMOR

"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

23. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT "

If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

24. My Mother taught me about SEX

"How do you THINK you got here?"

25. My Mother taught me about GENETICS "

You're just like your father."

26. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS

"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

27. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE

"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

28. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE

"One day you'll have kids ... and I hope they turn out just like you!

Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

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