Alright you have to check this out.

All you need to know about me is that I walk, talk, eat and sleep on earth, but I live my life in a completely different world.

You say BABY PINK
I say BLACK
You say HANNAH MONTANA
I say DISTURBED
You say PREP
I say GOTH
You say HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL
I say NARUTO
You say RAP
I say ROCK
You say GOSSIP
I say SHUT UP I'M READING
You say FOOTBALL
I say NINJAS
You say SPANISH
I say JAPANESE
You say MAGAZINES
I say MANGA
You say MAKEUP
I say MELLO
You say I'M WEIRD
I say YES I AM

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella.
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "THAT WAS AWSOME! LET'S DO IT AGAIN!"
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.
FRIENDS: Ask you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Will comfort you when you've been dumped.
BEST FRIENDS: Have a shovel at the ready.
FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your shit and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story, with real quotes!
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that! You don't want waste it!"
FRIENDS: Will confort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will walk right up to him and go "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"
FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crappp!

What makes life 100 percent?

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100 percent? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants to be more than 100 percent. How about achieving 103 percent? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If: ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

is represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26

then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 18 11 = 83

and:

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96

but:

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100

and:

B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close, but attitude and bullshit will get you there. And look how far this will take you...

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118

~Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest telling us to sit down and shut up.

~Amateurs built the Ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

~You say I'm not cool. But cool is just another word for cold. So if I'm not cold, I'm hot. Thanks for embracing it.

~Boys are like Slinky's. Useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

~Wherever I go, I'm looked down upon for my faith. People tell me I'm going to hell for it. They discriminate me. Yet, I'm the one feeling sorry for them.

~Perfection is in the pursuit of perfection.

~When Life gives you lemons, you make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wondering how you did it. When Life gives you more, you throw them back, because really, who likes lemons? And when Life gives you even more, squirt them in his eyes and see how much Life likes lemons then.

~I'd rather be hated for who I am then loved for who I'm not.

~Guns don't kill people. People kill people.

~If guns don't kill people, then can I blame all my misspells on my pencil?

~I know I just said 'Guns don't kill people. People kill people.' But I think that guns help! I mean, not much would happen if you just sit there and yell 'BOOM.'

~My friend overheard some people talking about me. How weird I was, how creepy, how wrong. But I just said 'I feel sorry for them' because I have a friend who told me, while their friends would sooner be the ones saying it.

~You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

~A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend/girlfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

~A good friend will bail you out of jail. But a Best Friend will be sitting next to you saying "Let's do it again!"

~Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity got framed.

~No I won't go to hell! They have a restaining order against me!

~I used all my sick days so I called in dead.

~Life isn't trying to pass me by; it's trying to run me over!

~You're just jealous because I'm the only one the voices talk to.

~I talk to myself because mine are the only answers I accept!

~The extinction of the dinosoars was no accident. Barney came along and they all committed suicide.

~Your weirdness is creeping my imaginary friend out.

~When in doubt, make words up!

~The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

~If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving isn't for you!

~If you're going to be two-faced sweetie, at least make one of them pretty!

~Don't worry about the end of the world coming today - it's already tomorrow in Australia.

~Kids are the future. Be afraid, be very afraid!

~Welcome to the dark side. We have cookies! Oh, that red stuff leaking out of them? ...That's cooking oil.

~Before you criticize a person, walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you'll be a mile away, and have their shoes!

~An idiot is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire their work.

~Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss!

~There is no 'I' in team, but there is an 'I' in PIE, so there is an 'I' in MEAT PIE and since MEAT is an anagram of TEAM...

~Newscasters are the people who tell you "Good evening" and then procede to tell you why it's not.

~Two things are infinite; infinity, and human stupidity. Not so sure about infinity...

~Why be difficult, when with just a little more effort, you can be impossible?

~Don't you dare tell me that the sky is the limit while there are footsteps on the moon!

~I was going to take over the world but I got distracted by something sparkly.

~Don't hit kids. Seriously, they have guns now!

~If your heart was really broken, you'd be dead. So shut up, grab a shovel and let's go get him!

~I don't have a dog. I eat my own homework.

~Warning: Stop throwing your cigarette butts on the carpet! Seriously, the cockroaches are getting cancer!

~There are three kinds of people - those who count, and those who can't.

~Warning: Trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again.

~Welcome to the internet! Pants optional.

~If I throw a stick, will you go away?

~The grass may be greener, but it's just as hard to mow!

~If the world didn't suck we'd all fall off.

~I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

~I like you. When I rule the world your death will be quick and painless.

~I intend to live forever - so far so good.

~Some say the glass is half empty. Some say the glass is half full. I say "Are you gonna drink that?"

~Nothing can confound a wise man more than laughter from a dunce.

~Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.

~Work is the curse of the drinking classes.

~Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it still breaks to pieces.

~Here's to you and here's to me; I hope we never disagree. But, if that should ever be, to HELL with you, here's to ME!

~If you lend someone 20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

~Once you've been in a mental institution, people are going to look at you funny.

~I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.

~A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's. She changes it more often.

~The police never think it's an funny as you do.

~Today I will be happier than a bird with a French fry.

~I'm up to no good . . . want to join me?

~I was so far behind, I thought I was in first.

~The shit you may hear about me could be true . . . but then again, it could be as fake as the bitch who told you.

~The next time my name rolls out of your mouth, choke on it bitch!

~Always borrow money from a pessimist, they won't expect it back.

~Can't see the bright side of life? Then polish the dull side dumb ass!

~Being pissed off is better than being pissed on.

~Out of my mind, be back in 5.

~I love work, It's fascinating! I could sit and stare at it all day!

~Only in America do they have drive up ATMs with Braille.

~I'm not prejudice, I hate you all equally.

~I'm bored. If you value your sanity, you'll run away now.

~Chaos . . . Panic . . . Destruction . . . Yep! My work here is done!

~I wanna die peacefully like my Granddad, not screaming like his passengers.

~If everything seems to be going well than you've obviously overlooked something.

~Say what you want because those who don't matter mind, and those who do matter don't mind.

~He said, "Why do you wear a bra, you got nothing to put in it . . ." And she said, "Well you wear pants, don't you?"

~You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because you bitches are all the same!

~You laugh because I'm different, I laugh because the voices just told me a joke.

~I'm smiling, that alone should scare you shit-less.

~Hate is just a special type of love we give to people who suck.

~I'm the type of person who bursts out laughing in the dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

~Pay no mind to those who talk behind your back, this only means you are two steps ahead of them.

~I have ADHD and magic markers. Oh the thrills I'll have.

~Never take life seriously. No one ever gets out alive.

~My mind works like lightning, a brilliant flash of an idea . . . and then it's gone.

~It takes skill to trip over flat surfaces. (Oh yeah, I gots skills . . .)

~I'm the girl who will watch hundreds of horror movies and not get scared, but will scream at the top of her lungs when the toast pops up out of the toaster.

~You're a great friend but if the Zombies chase us, I'm tripping you.

~Don't like my attitude? Call 1-800-Kiss-MyAss!

~I'm not random, I just have many th- OH LOOK A SQUIRREL!

~Don't label me! I'm not soup can!

~Dementors: Turning people Emo since 370 B.C.

~WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!! But it's ok. I have a helmet.

~This is not something to be tossed lightly, it should be thrown with great force.

~I'm nobody. Nobody is perfect, therefor, I am perfect!

~Knowledge is power, power corrupts. Study hard, be evil.

~I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

~If a mute child swears, does his mom wash his hands with soap?

~If I could distinguish reality from my delusions, I would choke it.

~I'm in my own world, but don't worry, they like me here.

~Nobody controls me, I'm uncontrollable. The only one who can control me, is me and that's just barely possible!

~When everything is coming at you, you're in the wrong lane.

~Don't make me angry, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

~That which doesn't kill me had better run pretty damn fast . . .

~Shut up voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again!

~Secret admires: Stalkers with stationary.

~The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but still, it's on the list.

~Procrastinators unite! . . . . tomorrow.

~On your marks . . . get set . . . GO AWAY!

~Obsession is healthy, it gets your mind of the voices who are annoying the hell out of you.

~You know you're mad when you know the guys in white by name . . .

~An apple a day keeps the doctor away, oranges and bananas work too, grapes are good for close range, but for the best results use a watermelon or a pineapple.

~To be honest with you, I'm a liar.

~I will stab you with a spork.

~If it weren't for law enforcement and physics, I'd be unstoppable!

~I'm so happy I could shit rainbows.

~Genius by birth; Lazy by choice.

~I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

~Everyone has some evil in them.