Loli Milkhide bio
 Author has written 2 stories for Naruto. Yes, I'm a girl. No, I won't "prove it". I could care less what anyone believes. To be honest it's better if you think I'm a trap or a catfish. Less for me to deal with. Name? Loli Milk. Am I an actual Loli? Wouldn't you like to know. *cackles* I like porn and hentai and everything perverted because that's just how I am. Does that mean I enjoy little boys and trolls (which are basically the same thing now, *sigh*) giving me a hard time simply because I'm an openly perverted (as far as expressing myself on the internet anonymously ) girl? If you think the answer is "yes", congratulations, you're one of those little trolls. Now go die. If you're actually interested in having a friend to discuss perverted things with (that don't involve me and/or you doing perverted things to one another, because it's not going to happen and never will, sorry), then PM me. Same goes for my stories. If you're interested in hashing out ideas for them or simply curious about where I get my inspiration from, feel free to PM me. No, I won't send you nudes. No, I don't want your nudes. Yes, I'm a pervert, but I'm a classy pervert and only enjoy intellectual perverts who aren't trying to find their next internet waifu. |
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Addict by BigE2955 reviews
Things settled down in the Elemental Nations after the end of the war. But, that doesn't mean everything is normal. In fact, for Uzumaki Naruto it was the opposite - there was one unalienable fact about the blonde hero that would change his life forever: he was a sex addict. And that one thing would change his life forever. Naruto/Harem, many many lemons.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Humor - Chapters: 8 - Words: 39,220 - Reviews: 234 - Favs: 1,355 - Follows: 1,618 - Updated: 8/9 - Published: 6/14/2018 - Naruto U., Sakura H., Hinata H., Temari
A Discordant Note by Noodlehammer reviews
It only takes a single disharmonious element to throw off the entire composition. Fifty years before Robert Baratheon was to ascend the Iron Throne, Westeros receives one hell of a bad musician. Harry never did care about any player other than himself.
Crossover - Harry Potter & A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 16 - Words: 208,668 - Reviews: 4157 - Favs: 6,906 - Follows: 8,125 - Updated: 8/6 - Published: 8/13/2018
Outlander by GreaterGoodIreland reviews
An United Nations Peacekeeper without knowledge of the games is transported to Thedas. Unsure if he will ever be able to return, he is sucked into the conflicts of Thedas as he tries to survive with his new companions and build a new world.
Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Drama/Adventure - Chapters: 67 - Words: 729,749 - Reviews: 631 - Favs: 734 - Follows: 809 - Updated: 8/6 - Published: 6/27/2015 - OC, Trevelyan
Harry and Harley by Rihaan reviews
As he stared into the eyes of a grinning, insane, albeit very attractive jester, hoisting a comically intimidating mallet across her shoulders, he realized that he wasn't in the Department of Mysteries, or London, anymore. But he didn't care. Harry checks into the madhouse, and makes himself at home. Harry/Multi, AU, Powerful!Harry/Hermione.
Crossover - Batman & Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 177,649 - Reviews: 322 - Favs: 2,225 - Follows: 2,327 - Updated: 7/31 - Published: 8/26/2014 - [Harry P., Hermione G., Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy]
The Blond Mother Lover by supernaturalsex reviews
Children fear the boogeyman, but men fear an even scarier monster. The legend says you should hide your wife and especially your mother because by leaving them alone, you're offering them to The Blond Mother Lover. This is Uzumakicest with graphic smut and somewhat of a plot. Count your ABC's because Naruto puts the "N" in "Netorare". Main pairing: Naruto/Kushina & Naruto/Mikoto
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 16 - Words: 281,584 - Reviews: 1171 - Favs: 2,757 - Follows: 2,574 - Updated: 4/17 - Published: 12/24/2017 - Naruto U., Mikoto U., Kushina U. - Complete
Pack Life by maisey2k10 reviews
After completing her Masters in Potions and Herbology and adopting her godson, Teddy Lupin, in the wake of his Grandmother's death, Hermione decides a change is in order. She packs up their belongings, says goodbye to their loved ones and moves across the pond to La Push, where she meets a handsome man and his strange friends. [HGXSU] TL, PL, JC
Crossover - Harry Potter & Twilight - Rated: M - English - Family/Romance - Chapters: 41 - Words: 169,018 - Reviews: 1105 - Favs: 1,703 - Follows: 2,189 - Updated: 4/14 - Published: 8/24/2017 - Hermione G., Sam
Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things by The Queen of Thornes reviews
We know no King, but the King in the North whose name is Stark. [Time-Travel AU]
Game of Thrones - Rated: T - English - Drama/Family - Chapters: 23 - Words: 66,029 - Reviews: 784 - Favs: 3,021 - Follows: 3,641 - Updated: 1/11 - Published: 7/4/2016 - Jon S., Sansa S., Bran S.
Blindness by AngelaStarCat reviews
Harry Potter is not standing up in his crib when the Killing Curse strikes him, and the cursed scar has far more terrible consequences. But some souls will not be broken by horrible circumstance. Some people won't let the world drag them down. Strong men rise from such beginnings, and powerful gifts can be gained in terrible curses. (HP/HG, Scientist!Harry)
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Friendship - Chapters: 38 - Words: 324,281 - Reviews: 4990 - Favs: 13,055 - Follows: 13,058 - Updated: 9/25/2018 - Published: 1/1/2015 - Harry P., Hermione G. - Complete
Finally by hyvnn reviews
Wherein a drunk and an idiot stop making excuses. Finally.
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 39,030 - Reviews: 455 - Favs: 1,334 - Follows: 1,306 - Updated: 8/23/2018 - Published: 3/26/2016 - [Naruto U., Tsunade S.]
Snowfall by Ruinous Crow reviews
He bled out on the snowy grounds of the Night's Watch, not expecting to wake again. But he did wake, and it was not in the forlorn outreaches of the Wall, but back at Winterfell, where King Robert Baratheon was a day's ride away… Old Nan had always warned against changing fate, but how can Jon refuse a chance to prevent the game of thrones?
A song of Ice and Fire - Rated: T - English - Suspense/Family - Chapters: 12 - Words: 48,978 - Reviews: 709 - Favs: 3,038 - Follows: 3,935 - Updated: 8/17/2018 - Published: 7/6/2013 - Jon S., Eddard S./Ned
For Love of Magic by Noodlehammer reviews
A different upbringing leaves Harry Potter with an early knowledge of magic and a view towards the Wizarding World not as an escape from the Dursleys, but as an opportunity to learn more about it. Unfortunately, he quickly finds that there are many elements in this new world that are unwilling to leave the Boy-Who-Lived alone.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 56 - Words: 812,590 - Reviews: 11426 - Favs: 11,364 - Follows: 10,816 - Updated: 8/13/2018 - Published: 12/15/2015 - Harry P. - Complete
It Could Only Happen to Harry by HoosYourDaddy reviews
After defeating Voldemort in his final year, Harry requires a rare ritual to save his life. Luckily, he has friends who are willing to help him. H/Hr, H/Parv, H/Luna, H/Tonks, H/Fleur. Canon personalities. WARNING: smutty comedy. Not for younger audiences.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Humor/Romance - Chapters: 9 - Words: 74,572 - Reviews: 473 - Favs: 2,989 - Follows: 2,212 - Updated: 8/3/2018 - Published: 10/16/2009 - Harry P., Hermione G., N. Tonks, Parvati P. - Complete
Written in Reverse by JMenace reviews
Once the possibility of chakra migrating through time and space has been accepted, the soul is only a lunging step away. Two legendary lovers escape to the past in order to save themselves, each other, and maybe the world- if there's time. A story of transmigration, yandere tendencies, and far more spiritual incest than Naruto ever signed up for. (Time Travel) (Naru/fem!Sasu) (AU)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Adventure - Chapters: 10 - Words: 68,653 - Reviews: 1195 - Favs: 4,322 - Follows: 4,479 - Updated: 7/1/2018 - Published: 11/12/2014 - [Naruto U., Sasuke U.]
The Dragons of Dawn by PristinelyUngifted reviews
No matter how many dragons they have under their command, they will never win this war so long as any of the White Walkers live. Natasha has the opportunity now to turn the tide, to halt the snow, to bring the dawn. - Sequel to 'A Widow's Walk.'
Crossover - Game of Thrones & Avengers - Rated: M - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 10 - Words: 37,957 - Reviews: 189 - Favs: 1,041 - Follows: 1,202 - Updated: 6/17/2018 - Published: 3/13/2017
The Encyclopedia Biotica by LogicalPremise reviews
A study of the biological origins, theory and powers of biotics, along with the various perspectives on biotics that the races of the Mass Effect universe have. Updated with new powers as time goes by. Free to use for all.
Mass Effect - Rated: K - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 12 - Words: 46,235 - Reviews: 59 - Favs: 182 - Follows: 121 - Updated: 12/17/2017 - Published: 3/24/2013 - Jack, Benezia, Thane K.
Don't Blink by JMenace reviews
Don't look away. Not once, not even for a second. The world is coming apart at the seams and there's no time left to save it. No time for anything but cheating time, racing past it, in a flash of brilliant yellow light. Namikaze Minato has come. Blink and you'll miss him. (AU) (Slight Dune cross)
Naruto - Rated: T - English - Adventure - Chapters: 5 - Words: 14,886 - Reviews: 61 - Favs: 275 - Follows: 283 - Updated: 8/12/2017 - Published: 7/26/2016 - Jiraiya, Minato N., Mikoto U., Kushina U.
Stars Fade by totallybursar reviews
Shepard knows that destroying the Reapers will kill her. Trouble is, she's never been good at dying. The explosion of dark energy from the Crucible thrusts Shepard into a totally different universe. Post ME3 ending, DA2 Act 2 beginning. Please note that this is not a FemShep/F!Hawke fic. THIS STORY HAS RECENTLY BEEN EDITED TO ALIGN WITH GAME CANON REVEALED IN DA:I
Crossover - Mass Effect & Dragon Age - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 40 - Words: 208,216 - Reviews: 2020 - Favs: 2,445 - Follows: 2,781 - Updated: 6/5/2017 - Published: 5/16/2012 - Shepard (F), Varric T., Hawke (F)
derivation by cupcakeriot reviews
(noun) derivation. the obtaining of something from a source or origin. "All it takes is a touch," Bella says - and that is how she reveals that there is more to her than meets the eye. Little did she realize that she also had a derivative, one that she could scarcely predict. A Twilight Re-Telling.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 32 - Words: 178,441 - Reviews: 1229 - Favs: 804 - Follows: 605 - Updated: 5/11/2017 - Published: 2/21/2017 - [Edward, Bella] Aro - Complete
A Widow's Walk by PristinelyUngifted reviews
It happens in a flash of blue. One moment Natasha is standing amid the wreckage of Manhattan, and the next she… isn't. - In Which the Black Widow makes her mark on Westeros.
Crossover - Game of Thrones & Avengers - Rated: M - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 10 - Words: 30,763 - Reviews: 333 - Favs: 1,837 - Follows: 985 - Updated: 3/13/2017 - Published: 6/18/2016 - [Black Widow/Natasha R., Tyrion L., Jaime L.] Jon S. - Complete
THW by JMenace reviews
(Being rewritten) Naruto's chakra is warped at birth. Instead of strengthening his body and mind, it shrieks and wails like wind through his coils. Thrust into a war of ruthless shinobi and roaming Bijuu, he'll need the resolve to fight through his greatest weakness and survive- or, the determination to make it his greatest strength and win. (Lovecraftian AU)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure - Chapters: 33 - Words: 212,784 - Reviews: 981 - Favs: 2,459 - Follows: 2,287 - Updated: 10/13/2016 - Published: 9/23/2012 - Naruto U.
Transcendent Humanity by Solaris242 reviews
Humanity never developed FTL. The Prothean archives contained no technology, no Element Zero, just a warning. Isolated from the rest of the galaxy for two thousand years, restricted to their only system, how will humanity have changed when they first meet the Turians? AU, alternate history of humanity and First Contact.
Mass Effect - Rated: T - English - Sci-Fi - Chapters: 18 - Words: 40,604 - Reviews: 2084 - Favs: 6,478 - Follows: 7,490 - Updated: 3/1/2016 - Published: 5/7/2013
Flies in the Ointment by TheScreamingViking reviews
Loki woke in a dungeon with strange magic flaring in his palm. Thedas had changed a great deal since Asgard last had dealings with Arlathan, but not so much that Loki doesn't recognize Solas for what he really is. The Inquisition, as formed by two competing Tricksters, while the rest of Thedas scrambles to keep up.
Crossover - Dragon Age & Thor - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 3 - Words: 8,857 - Reviews: 32 - Favs: 120 - Follows: 161 - Updated: 2/28/2016 - Published: 11/1/2015 - Varric T., Solas, Lavellan, Loki
The(questionable) burdens of leadership of a troll Emperor by Noodlehammer reviews
Having check-mated himself into a corner with his acquisition of little sisters that needed protecting as well as freedom, Naruto resigns himself to the idea of taking charge of a nation for their sake. That didn't mean he was going to take the whole thing as seriously as his wife had intended though. Fourth in series.
Crossover - Stargate: SG-1 & Naruto - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 29 - Words: 385,181 - Reviews: 5665 - Favs: 4,818 - Follows: 3,663 - Updated: 12/6/2015 - Published: 12/25/2014 - Complete
Sekirei? Is that some new species of little sister? by Noodlehammer reviews
Naruto was on a mission to get himself some little sisters and by his divine left testicle, he was going to get them. Xanna was content to let him do it and maybe corrupt one or two in the process for amusement. Third in series, advisable to read previous ones first.
Crossover - Naruto & Sekirei - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 17 - Words: 183,552 - Reviews: 2751 - Favs: 4,104 - Follows: 2,727 - Updated: 12/25/2014 - Published: 8/16/2014 - Complete
The Telling Tale by Tsu Doh Nimh reviews
Seeker Cassandra has finally tracked down the Warden, three years after her old recruit Anders started the Mage-Templar War. How does a Seeker convince a mage to side with the Chantry?
Dragon Age - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 33 - Words: 308,504 - Reviews: 654 - Favs: 802 - Follows: 774 - Updated: 12/24/2014 - Published: 12/4/2011 - Surana, Cassandra P.
Trolling the League by Noodlehammer reviews
Finished with their overly long honeymoon, Naruto and Xanna leave their dimension of origin in favor of a new(and hopefully interesting) one. Finding themselves faced with a world where the supposed protectors of the innocent refuse to kill their obviously evil counterparts, they decide to push some buttons. Sequel to my first story, strongly recommended you read that first.
Crossover - Naruto & Justice League - Rated: M - English - Chapters: 8 - Words: 79,582 - Reviews: 1496 - Favs: 4,514 - Follows: 2,825 - Updated: 8/16/2014 - Published: 6/26/2014 - [Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama] - Complete
Ruthless by AngelaStarCat reviews
COMPLETE. James Potter casts his own spell to protect his only son; but he was never as good with Charms as Lily was. (A more ruthless Harry Potter grows up to confront Voldemort). Dark!Harry. Slytherin!Harry HP/HG and then HP/HG/TN.
Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Friendship/Horror - Chapters: 9 - Words: 25,083 - Reviews: 654 - Favs: 2,896 - Follows: 892 - Published: 6/29/2014 - [Harry P., Hermione G.] Theodore N. - Complete
Reaching for a Dream by Noodlehammer reviews
Adventure/Humor/Romance. The Sandaime waited too long to approach Naruto, who had no interest in becoming Hokage by then. Another dream already rested in his heart, a dream that would drive him much further than anyone would have believed. SealMaster!Naruto Older!NarutoxFem!Kyuubi
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Adventure/Humor - Chapters: 30 - Words: 377,213 - Reviews: 5154 - Favs: 9,858 - Follows: 5,831 - Updated: 6/26/2014 - Published: 12/12/2013 - [Naruto U., Kyuubi/Kurama] - Complete
Broken Chains by Darth Marrs reviews
When Harry fell through the Veil of Death, that should have been the end of the story. But 40 days later he returned with a power never seen before, and a darkness in him that made both the dark and light fear him. H/HR/LL. Rated M.
Crossover - Star Wars & Harry Potter - Rated: M - English - Drama/Fantasy - Chapters: 38 - Words: 156,348 - Reviews: 3288 - Favs: 5,227 - Follows: 3,306 - Updated: 10/27/2012 - Published: 1/7/2012 - Complete
Shelter by moirae reviews
Bella never made it to Forks, never met Edward, never fell in love. As a student at Emerson College, she is passionate, smart, and desperately lonely. Until someone catches the scent of his singer on the air . . .
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 21 - Words: 111,351 - Reviews: 841 - Favs: 803 - Follows: 531 - Updated: 7/2/2012 - Published: 4/7/2012 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Giving Way To Dusk by HelenahJay reviews
In Volterra, Alice doesn't catch up to Bella and Edward in time, and they face the Volturi alone. Edward makes a trade for Bella's life, with devastating consequences. Canon AU.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 26 - Words: 54,730 - Reviews: 914 - Favs: 446 - Follows: 381 - Updated: 12/17/2011 - Published: 5/16/2011 - Bella, Edward - Complete
That Pain to Miss by HelenahJay reviews
Carlisle told Edward it was his decision to try and extract the venom from Bella's wrist in the ballet studio. Edward decided not to. E/B, Post-Twilight AU, canon couples.
Twilight - Rated: M - English - Angst/Romance - Chapters: 23 - Words: 38,090 - Reviews: 1426 - Favs: 1,801 - Follows: 604 - Updated: 7/15/2010 - Published: 6/10/2010 - Edward, Bella - Complete
The Story of Us by Mindy Ann reviews
This is a reflection on Nessie's life with Jacob. It follows the progression of their relationship from her birth to the present. It will be mostly Nessie's POV, but there may be some Jacob POV as well.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 57 - Words: 186,018 - Reviews: 1805 - Favs: 581 - Follows: 449 - Updated: 12/27/2009 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Jacob, Renesmee C./Nessie
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .
Idée Fixe reviews
Idée Fixe, n; an idea or desire that dominates the mind; an obsession. In other words, her little brother. Fem!Itachi x Sasuke
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance/Fantasy - Chapters: 7 - Words: 24,693 - Reviews: 22 - Favs: 66 - Follows: 60 - Updated: 6/4/2018 - Published: 2/14/2018 - [Sasuke U., Itachi U.]
Breathless reviews
The best birthday gift was the kind that left her breathless. (oneshot)
Naruto - Rated: M - English - Romance - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,397 - Reviews: 12 - Favs: 110 - Follows: 31 - Published: 5/3/2018 - [Hinata H., Naruto U.] - Complete