I was born to time travelling hippies. They were hit by a speeding bus driven by a crazed Canadian Yak and his obese monkey sidekick. After a short stay in hospital they died after a bulemic surgeon left a baby elephant inside them while he was operating. Needless to say the elephant grew and caused them to explode. I was left alone in the world until I was adopted by trappist monks. They cared for me but because they were a silent order I didn't learn to speak until I came across Star Trek. Ever since then I have spoken well but with an unmistakeable trace of technobabble.