Hallo, my wonderful readers! Well, somehow, someway, fate has conspired so you have found my little dwelling on fanfiction.net, since you admire my stories so much, or perhaps you're just clumsy and you accidentally clicked on my pen name. Either way, I bet you're wondering who I am, eh? (audience stares blankly) Or perhaps not...

Well, at any rate I am simply the Wolf with the Red Roses, formerly known as the Phantom Wolf, the strange configiration that you see here, of a crazy mood-swinging hormone-driven-fifteen-year-old American girl who thrives on fanfiction and a state of constant sugar-highness, possibly the most dangerous combination ever in the history of mankind. That and I'm quote-unquote "completely insane." But hey, you didn't hear that.

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My stories:

I am sooooooooooo sorry, guys. I know exactly what you are thinking about me right now. "That stupid lazy author! She promised to rewrite her stories and to upload them all over the summer! Now summer is over with and she still hasn't uploaded one single word! Blasted writer!"

Okay, well, maybe some of you aren't thinking that. But I know a lot of you who are. I am sad to say, that because I had to go to Texas for the summer and wasn't able to take my writing folders with me that I couldn't rewrite anything like I wanted to. And now, even though I'm back from Texas I still can't rewrite anything because school is starting soon and I'm have to devote all my extra time to homework and the Thespian club that I'm joining.

Like I said, I'm sorry, and hopefully next summer can be the time that I can finally work on my stories. As for now, here is what I'm planning to do with them:

Right now Psychotic Will style="styledocument: object;"looks like it might be turned into a full-fledged POTC parody, complete with an actual plot. Everybody's Fool style="styledocument: object;"and Enough is Enough style="styledocument: object;"are going to be combined into one story, since they have a lot of the same elements. I'm planning on rewriting and actually finishing Sick of Romance style="styledocument: object;"too, which I'm sure a lot of you readers out there will ecstatic about. Yes, the horrible lazy author is finally going to get off her duff and finish this fic (and many others)! Hip hip hurrah!

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Quote of the Day: -David Warner, from Time Bandits

"God isn't interested in technology. He knows nothing of the potential of a microchip or the silicon revolution. Look how he spends his time, forty three species of parrots, nipples for males, slugs. Slugs! He created slugs. They can't hear, they can't speak, they can't operate machinery. I mean, are we not in the hands of a lunatic!"

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More info about me:

Hallo again. So you want to know the man...err, woman behind the mask eh? Well, since you went through all this trouble just to find my bio, I might as well tell you all a little about myself.

name: Jenny

nicknames: Jen, Psycho, Psycho Bunny, Wolf, Choey...yes, I have a lot of nicknames and I answer to them all.

old pen names: Wolfwoman357 and the Phantom Wolf (I know, my weird obsession with wolves, shut up about it already.)

appearance: blue eyes,blondish/brownish hair, glasses, about average height and weight.

hobbies: reading, writing, acting, listening to music, watching movies, surfing the Net

main genres: humor/parody and angst

fandoms I read/write in: POTC, LOTR, Harry Potter, Phantom of the Opera, the Princess Bride, the Labyrinth, Van Helsing, Teen Titans, Animorphs, the Faculty, and the Nightmare before Christmas

things I don't like in fanfiction:

fluff

PWP

slash (No, I'm not homophobiac, I just don't like it all that much because most of those stories are PWP or completely unbelievable or gross, like D/H pairings in Harry Potter, and I even found this Gimli/Legolas fic in LOTR. May I say that that is just sick?)

FLAMING!

OOC's

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Policy on reviews:

I obviously love compliments. Who doesn't? What with my low self esteem issues, I desperately need them. (hint hint wink wink nudge nudge) So please, won't you be a dear and help me boost my ego? Thank you so much!

I accept constructive critisism. Sure, I don't like admitting that I have faults in my fics, but if you mention it nicely (no flaming!) I will try to fix my mistakes.

As for flaming: Simply, you flame, I hunt you down and punjab you. Got it? No, seriously, I hate flaming. I mean, pointing out a technical mistake that someone has made, like in grammar or plot, and suggesting how they might fix it is truly CONSTRUCTIVE criticism, which means that you are not only getting something accomplished but you are also helping the author, and most of us, at least I do, appreciate that sort of thing. So thanks a bunch to the readers out there who do do that.

Yet flaming on the other hand is just asinine, a stupid and pointless action that doesn't solve anything.It doesn't have a purpose. I am proud to say that I have never flamed any author, no matter how much their story might have sucked. So please don't flame anyone on here, including me, as you need to realize that we're just trying to do our best. Fanfic authors don't even get paid except in reviews, so please, be kind to us...that is, unless you would enjoy this particular Wolf to take a chunk out of you...

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Sincerely,

the Wolf with the Red Roses