I am Agent Lambda (from Lambengolme - female linguist in Quenya) of the Special Interdepartmental Elven Linguistics Unit of the Protectors of the Plot Continuum. My job is to track down the authors who abuse Elven languages or culture in Tolkien Continuum. We have "You have one chance, use it or lose it" policy. It means that if we find that your story isincompatible with Tolkien Universe and disrupts the canon, we will contact you and offer help. If you accept our offer, we will gladly help you to improve. If you decline, or are too late with your answer, your story is at our mercy (which doesn't exist).

Here is the charge list of PPC : SIELU for your convenience.

PPC : SIELU Official charge list, Version 1.2:

ELVEN NAMES

] Names are meaningless
] Names have a mix of Quenya and Sindarin
] Names are those of famous Elves of Old without a very good reason
] Names are in an illogical language, such as
() modern name
() Quenya names for Sylvan Elves and vice versa
() second name being like of “Silverbranch” or “Quickarrow”, in English
() Japanese-like name
] Name in an Elvish language is made up incorrectly
] Misspelling the name(s) of character(s) created by Tolkien
] Other (specify)

ELVEN LANGUAGE

] Use of Grey Company Elvish
] Use of illogical language, such as Quenya for Sylvan Elves
] Knowledge of English by the Elves
() use of modern slang by the Elves
] Grammar mistakes in Elven languages
] Creating new pseudo-Elvish
] Other (specify)

ELVEN CUSTOMS

] Altering Elven customs
() Specifically customs that relate to marriage
() Specifically customs that relate to child-rearing
() Other (specify)
] Altering Elven developmental processes
() Changing the maturation/aging of Elves
] Altering Elven physiology (specify)
] Altering Elven psychology (specify)

MISCELLANEOUS

] Creating new, unlisted races of Elves
] Creating new Elven dwelling places
] Creating new Elven artifacts where old ones would be sufficient
] Mangling Elven theology and metaphysics
] Writing bad slash
] Writing a Mary Sue
] Mating an Elf with some imrobable creature, such as a Nazgûl (specify)
] Anything else The Poison Ivy finds especially annoying (specify)

I wish you not to get in trouble with PPC:SIElU, and good luck.

Agent Lambda