AUDIENCE: Hi, G.Lo!

...Anyway, if you've noticed, I've taken down my story. I've still got tonsilitis, and my grades, at the moment, are crap. (Yes, I'm on punishment.) I've really got no time to be posting anything until the summer, if I'm not getting a job or something. School gets out June 10, so expect some updates around then.

AUDIENCE: *collective gasp* June 10?! ...Okay then. :drift away:

QUOTES OF THE... SEASON (*sweatdrop* I'm giving you more than one, so leave me alone!):

Organic chemistry is the study of carbon compounds. Biochemistry is the study of carbon compounds that crawl.

Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is?
A: One per person.

Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn't go away.
- Philip K. Dick

Schapiro's Explanation:
The grass is always greener on the other side -- but that's because they use more manure.

Steurgon’s Law: 90% of everything is crud...

Finagle's Second Law:
No matter what the result is, there will always be someone eager to
1.misinterpret it
2.fake it
3.believe it happened according to his own pet theory.

I doubt, therefore I might be.

In the beginning was the word.
But by the time the second word was added to it,
there was trouble.
For with it came syntax ...
-- John Simon

Silverman's Law:
If Murphy's Law can go wrong, it will.

The two most common things in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

There are three ways to get something done:
1.Do it yourself.
2.Hire someone to do it for you.
3.Forbid your kids to do it.

Sometimes "mu" is the answer.

Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: Life is a fatal, sexually transmitted disease.

•Theft from a single author is plagiarism.
•Theft from two is comparative study.
•Theft from three or more is research.

In most instances, all an argument proves is that two people are present.

Amazing but true...
If all the salmon caught in Canada in one year were laid end to end across the Sahara Desert, the smell would be absolutely awful.

Amazing but true...
There is so much sand in Northern Africa that if it were spread out it would completely cover the Sahara Desert.

Hellrung's Law: "If you wait, it will go away."
Shavelson's Extension: "...after having done its damage."
Grelb's Addition: "If it was really bad, it will be back."

If nobody uses it, there's a reason.

Shaw's Principle:
Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will want to use it.

Grossman's Misquote:
Complex problems have simple, easy to understand and wrong solutions.

Handy Guide to Modern Science:
•If it's green or it wiggles, it's biology.
•If it stinks, it's chemistry.
•If it doesn't work, it's physics.

The Dumb Luck Rule:
You can always hit what you don't aim at.

Maryann's Law:
You can always find what you're not looking for.

Young's Law:
All inanimate objects can move just enough to get in your way.

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

Smile, it makes the world wonder what you are up to.

All that glitters has a high refractive index.

Any philosophy that can be put in a nutshell belongs there.

He who hesitates is sometimes saved.

If at first you don't succeed, redefine success.

If at first you do succeed try to hide your astonishment.

If you can't learn to do it well, learn to enjoy doing it badly.

It is easier to write an incorrect program than to understand a correct one.

God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players, to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who SMILES all the time.
-- Terry Pratchett & Neil Gaiman, "Good Omens"

If something cannot go wrong at all, it will go wrong in a very spectacular way.

The 90/90 rule of programming:
The first 90% of the project consumes 90% of the time.
The remaining 10% consume the OTHER 90% of the time.

It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.

If we do not change our direction we are likely to end up where we are heading.

If you don't care where you are, then you ain't lost.

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
- Fred Allen (1894-1956)

It's not that I'm afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

I do not believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday.
- Woody Allen

To you I'm an atheist; to God, I'm the Loyal Opposition.
- Woody Allen

I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse.
- Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying.
- Woody Allen

If knowledge can create problems, it is not through ignorance that we can solve them.
- Isaac Asimov

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new
discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I've found it!), but "That's funny..."
- Isaac Asimov

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It's the transition that's troublesome.
- Isaac Asimov

@.@ So many quotes... Th-th-th-th-th-th-th-that's all folks!

...Save the whales.

These are some websites I'd like to reccomend:

NEW* Potterpuppetpal mp3's at: (with 5 separate songs)or: (with one long song)

(especially th LotR and Harry Potter ones in )

or

*SPECIAL NOTE* click the link in the bottom left hand corner of the page to be taken to the other weebls-stuff toons, most of which are HILARIOUS!

*NOTE* This is actually a store, not a funny page, but their motto sums it all up-- "I Want One Of Those: Stuff you don't need... but you really, really want."