True, This! —
Beneath the rule of men entirely great,
The pen is mightier than the sword. Behold
The arch-enchanters wand! — itself a nothing! —
But taking sorcery from the master-hand
To paralyse the Cæsars, and to strike
The loud earth breathless! — Take away the sword —
States can be saved without it!

-The Cardinal's line in Act II, scene II (The Conspiracy by Edward Bulwer- Lytton)

I love Maximum ride, Artemis Fowl, The Immortal Instruments, The Infernal Devices, and pretty much everything else

My obsession right now: Artemis Fowl, writing my own stories

Oh yeah, some of you people are going to hate what I have to say but I will say it anyways. Artemis is my father. deal with it because it's true. Yay I have also been kidnapped by him but don't take this personally because this is all an inside joke for me and my friends, plus I doubt you will ever have the patience to read this. Ha in yo face.

I have officially aided in the kidnapping of a bird kid. Iggy.

I have a dwarf that lives under my bed and sometimes in my closet. His name is Puck. He guards my stories and such. He also is friend with Spiffy and Pooky who belong to St.Fang. He also likes to bet and selom loses. He's makes great money too. He tends to eat my socks, but now he seems to have moves on to my homework. My parents refuse to believe that though. I swear it's true. He has also written a poem:

I am the dwarf that lives under a bed

It's okay under hear cause nothing is dead.

(I hope) Yes something has moved, that something is me.

The one thing I hate is being stung by a...bee?

Quotes:

"How could Iggy Escape? I mean we put him in a dark room so he wouldn't be able to see...Crap"

-me

"We'll kidnap Iggy. He'll never see it coming."

-baak

Some people say that I have a short attention span i say...OOH A butterfly! Then again what do people know. Oh and just to let everyone know Artemis has kidnapped me when I tried to kidnap him and well. WE made a deal and know he does my homework and he uses my power of fanfiction when I have the time.

Bored in Chorus.

Iggy- I’m scared of the dark!

Chaos/baak- Your blind!

Iggy- So I’m always scared.

Baak- do you want a hug?

Iggy- Fang I need a hug.

Baak- hey I asked you first

Iggy- FANG PAY YOUR CHILDSUPPORT!!

Fang- I was thinking of giving you a hug, but after that….no!

Chaos- I need a hug fang

Fang- Spiffy Pooky save me!!

Spiffy- From what?

Chaos- Hey Mountain Dew!

Baak/ Puck/ Naomi- NOOO!!

Chaos- Quick Fang grab the cooler!

Fang- On it!

Baak- Too late Puck drank it all and everything else is caffine free!

Chaos- (sobs)

Fang- I hate you….

Baak- You’ll get over it.

Chaos- Can I have a hug Fang?

Fang- Wait Nyquil!!

Chaos- Yes! Quick grab it!!

Everyone else- NO!!

Saint- Bad Fang! Put it down!

Baak- You to Chaos!

Fang/ Chaos- ……….. Shucks……

Puck- (drinking the Nyquil) Wait so this isn’t candy?

Chaos/Fang- NO!! (sobs)

Chaos- now can I have a hug?

Fang- Hey, saint? When’d you get here? Why are you here?

Saint- Baak called for reinforcements.

Baak- (nods)

Saint/Baak_ (high-five)

Chaos- My weakness! Fanfiction! Nooooo! (sits in corner in front of laptop)

Fang- You torturing me aren’t you?

Baak- (leans over shoulder.) yup, you wouldn’t hug her.

Puch- (to Spiffy and Pooky) Bet you 5 that Chaos and Fang are going to find Mountain Dew somewhere.

Spiffy- I take that bet.

Chaos- Psst! Fang!

Fang- What….

Chaos- I have a plan….

Fang- I don’t want to know…

Chaos- To get Mountain Dew…

Fang- I’m listening (Chaos whispers plan)

Plan in action

Chaos- IGGY STOP TOUCHING THAT!! (everyone turns to see Iggy holding Baak’s guitar.)

Baak- Hey that’s mine!!

While everyone’s attention is on Iggy Fang quickly blends into the background. Baak has now safely taken her guitar back by force, meanwhile Spiffy, Pooky, and puck are betting nonstop. The attention is now back on Chaos.

Saint- Where’s fang?

Chaos- (shrugs)

Everyone is now hectically looking for Fang.

Saint- CODE F.R, FANG RAN. I REAPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!

Everyone but Chaos Iggy and Fang go looking for Fang. Chaos goes over to Baak’s sleeping bag, where she usually keeps her secret stash of everything sugary, but finds no MD

Chaos- Where is the soda!? She always has it in here!

Iggy- (pops open a can.)

Chaos- Iggy step away form the soda.

Iggy- Relax there are two more. (He throws one and somehow hits Fang, who was still blending in with the background, in the head, aiming for Chaos. Then Chaos catches the other.)

Fang- OUCH! How do you hit Me, when aiming for Her!

Iggy- Do you want me to kiss you boo boo fang?

Fang- No…..

Chaos- I will!! (chases Fang around in circles.)

Puck- Pay up, all 543! (makes you wonder what they bet on…)

(Pooky and Spiffy grudgingly hand over the money.)

Pooky- Man how does that happen?

Spiffy- You’re the one who has to tell Saint that you lost 543.

-Baak and Saint walk back to the campsite-

Baak- (holding a machete) Who stole my Mountain Dew’s?

Chaos/Fang- (still holding cans, point at Iggy.) Iggy!!

Baak- Mhm..(wields machete.)

Chaos and Fang notice they still have the MD cans in there hands and they hide them behind there backs. Iggy continues to drink his MD. He seems calm….but is he?

Baak- (raises eyebrows and looks at Naomi) Naomi…

Naomi is holding an AR 15 bayonet in one hand and a flamethrower in the other.

Naomi- I’ve got the stuff in place our plan will be put into action in 3….2…1

There is a puff of purple smoke and Chaos and Fang get a loopy smile on their faces.

Chaos- I ……feel……like..

Fang- The Hills are alive

With the sound of music. Hiccup

Chaos- I swear to …… Drunk… I am not God.

Fang- (stumbles over Iggy.) Iggy stop it, Justin was enough.

Chaos- Why are there two of you Fang?

Chaos walks over to Fang then trips over him and falls on top of iggy and Fang.

Iggy- My lucky day. (grins)

Chaos- (smacks Iggy on the head then get’s up.) Sexist pig!

Fang- Max I swear it was just a hug….. I miss you… Wait, Max isn’t here.

Puck- (to Spiffy and Pooky) Bet you 15 that Chaos is going to smack him.

Pooky- I’ll take it.

Chaos- (smacks the back of Fang’s head.) Who is this Max?!

Iggy- Fang how could you! Two girls after Justin!! We are over!

Fang- We were never started.

Chaos- I’m breaking up with you Fang. Give me a hug.

Fang- Wait! We were never going out! Oh my God it’s Orlando Bloom!! (runs over to a tree and starts to hug it.)

At this moment Saint, Baak and Naomi are rolling on the floor in fits of laughter.

Baak- (eyes wide.) Uh..oh..

Naomi- What?

Baak- The side affects.

Fang is curled into a ball crying and chaos is blinking.

Chaos- Shakespeare was born if 1564 in Stratford apon Avon. He was the third of eight children. Oldest son of John Shakespeare and Mary Arden…..(falls asleep)

Baak- we better do something with them until the drug wears off.

Naomi grabs Chaos by the ankles and drags her to the tent, Iggy is back drinking mountain Dew.

Iggy- What just happened?

Baak walks over to him and hits him with the blunt side of the machete. He falls unconscious and Naomi drags him into the tent with Chaos.

Baak- Naomi your phone has video right?

Naomi- Yeah, why?

Baak- (smirks) May I use it?

Naomi hands Baak the phone. Baak aims the camera at Fang and hits the video button.

Saint- What are you doing?

Baak- (smirks) blackmail. (Fang is still crying.)

Saint- I like your style.

Suddenly a loud piercing shriek is heard from inside the tent and Chaos comes barging out.

Chaos- Why am I in a tent with Iggy?! Alone!!

Naomi- You don’t remember?

Chaos- Remember what? First I have a soda in my hand then I wake up in a tent with Iggy with a massive headache. (spots Fang) Aww poor Fang. (She runs over and hugs him)

Naomi- Thank gosh for ADD.

Baak- Fang get that out of your mouth!! (he’s eating pine needles.)

All of a sudden Fang jumps up and starts wailing like an Indian, then he starts laughing uncontrollably and falls to the floor unconscious.

Baak- Ha! And I got it all on camera!

Everyone laughs and Chaos looks confused.

Baak- I’m sending this to Sarah, show her what she missed.

Naomi- Chaos, your unusually quiet. What’s wrong?

Chaos- Where are Spiffy and Pooky?

Everyone starts to look around.

Chaos- Puck quick evasive maneuver! (puck hides behind the tree.) not that one!

Puck- Oh….

Fang- (wakes up) Woah what’s going on?

Then Spuffy and Pooky emerge form the forest holding lollipops.

Saint- Where have you been!!

Chaos- LOLLIPOPS!!

Fang- Please don’t giver her any sugar!

Baak- We don’t intend to.

Saint- Explain now.

Pooky- Well we were walking in the forest when a very nice, tall, dark stranger offered us these lollipops. When we grabbed them he wouldn’t let go so we had to perform acupuncture.

Chaos goes for a lollipop but Baak grabs her wrists.

Chaos- Why are you holding my hand?

Everyone rolls eyes.