Hello, there. I am Heureux Eeyore. Which means Happy Eeyore. From Winnie the Pooh.
Yup.

Paradoxes are my life.

Ladies and Gentlemen, skinny and stout,
I'll tell you a tale I know nothing about;
The Admission is free, so pay at the door,
Now pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight;
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Horray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise and
Came to stop those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by, a
nd kicked the lawman in his thigh.

He crashed through a wall without making a sound,
into a dry creek bed and suddenly drowned;
The long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of the big round table,
The only eyewitness to facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, he saw it too.

/\/\/\/\/\/\ Mountains.

GRYFFINDOR:

[x]You have a lot of friends.
[ ]You get along with everyone.
[ ]You haven’t made fun of someone for at least two months.
[ ]You love soccer.
[ ] You love baseball.
[x] You’re into writing and art.
[ ] Favourite music genre is pop rock.
[x ]You believe in "innocent until proven guilty" theory.
[ ]One of your favourite colours is red or gold.
[x]Good grades at school.
[x] One of the worst things you can do is lie.
[x] You plan on going to college/university.

TOTAL: 6

HUFFLEPUFF:

[ ]You’re content with mostly everything in your life right now.
[x]You laugh a lot.
[ ] You like to follow trends.
[x] Politics suck.
[x]You love to swim.
[ ] Water polo is awesome.
[ ] Pink is one of your favourite colours.
[ ] Black is morbid & depressing.
[ ]You’re an optimist.
[ ] You’re completely straight edged.
[x] You’re very emotional.
[ ] Rap, R&B, & hip-hop is your favourite music genre.
[ ] You don’t believe in going steady at a young age.
[x] You’ve made fun of at least one person this week.

TOTAL: 5

RAVENCLAW:

[x] You’re depressed to a certain extent.
[x] You love to read.
[x] You appreciate theatre & arts.
[ ]Sports suck.
[x ] You’re shy.
[ ]Loyalty is the MOST important thing in a relationship.
[ ]Hate is completely unneeded.
[ ]Indie is your favourite genre of music.
[x]Every once in awhile you have little anger outbursts.
[x] Lying is sometimes okay.
[ ]Blue is one of your favourite colours.
[ ] Serious is better than funny.

TOTAL: 5

SLYTHERIN:

[x There’s at least one person you hate.
[x]Basketball is a good sport.
[ ] Football is amazing.
[x] Black is a cool colour.
[ ]You’ve lied about something serious.
[x] You’re a very deep person.
[ ] You have considered suicide.
[x] Very loyal.
[x] You like metal.
[x] They make school seem more important than it is.
[x] You’re scared to grow up.
[ ] Anger is one of your primary feelings.
[x] You have trust issues.
[ ] Guilty until proven innocent

TOTAL: 9
Go Slytherin. Rawr.