Gender: Not male.

Age: Legally Drinking

Name/alias: Zoe

Sexuality: Straight, but open.

Interests: betas, bleeprin, books, burning things, canon, chocolate, comedy, constructive criticism, dancing, Discworld series, Douglas Adams, drarry, English language & linguistics, English literature, fan fiction, friends, good-fic, grammar, general fun, Harry Potter books, horses, horseback riding, humor, insanity, J.K. Rowling, J.R.R. Tolkien, learning, Lord of the Rings, Mel Brooks, mini-balrogs, Monty Python, movies, MSTs, music, non-fiction, parodies, psychology, quotations, rants, reading, Red vs Blue, research, revenge, satire, sense of humor, shinies, Skulduggery Pleasant series, slash, sporks, Terry Pratchett, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, the PPC, The Silmarillion, Tom Lehrer, writing, vacations.

Dislikes: bad-fic, bad grammar, bigotry, "cheerleader" betas, discrimination, fanbrats, Gary Stus, grelvish, homophobia, Marty Stus, Mary Sues, OOCness (mostly), plot holes, politics (mostly), pompous twits, poor spelling, "praise whores", self-insert, songfics, Stephanie Meyer, text-speak, the Twilight "saga".

I tend to write original fiction more than fan fiction (although I do love reading fan fiction). My original work can no longer be found on my livejournal or anywhere else on the internet. I've taken it down so that I may work with it and, possibly, get some published. I have been known to beta, and when I do, I take my job quite seriously and will not shy away from saying what needs to be said, though I will try to be as nice as possible about it. While I do like praise, I absolutely adore reviews with constructive criticism, advice, and pointers for I always strive to improve and do my best. While I may read just about any fic (good or bad) within my fandoms of expertise, I am very picky on what gets named a "favorite". I am rather eccentric and open minded, and I am a bit of a extroverted introvert. Feel free to contact me for any reason, even if just to chat. I hear I'm rather nice and that I can be fun.

P.S. Vorabiza one of my favorite authors but cannot be found on this site. You can find her works here or here. A Secret History, a favorite story of mine that cannot be found here either, can be found here and here.

P.P.S. I highly recommend reading Monty Python: Lord of the Rings by XenoCorp if you want a good laugh. It's, obviously, not a real Monty Python work but is a the best Pythonesque retelling of these works out there. It's the perfect blend of Monty Python and J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit.

Favorite Quotes (it seems to be mandatory--everyone does it! Not to mention, of course, that I love quotes. I'll try and keep it at a minim though, or else you'd be reading quotes for ages!):

“Louise: ‘How did you get here?’
Johnny: ‘Well, basically, there was this little dot, right? And the dot went bang and the bang expanded. Energy formed into matter, matter cooled, matter lived, the amoeba to fish, to fish to fowl, to fowl to frog, to frog to mammal, the mammal to monkey, to monkey to man, amo amas amat, quid pro quo, memento mori, ad infinitum, sprinkle on a little bit of grated cheese and leave under the grill till Doomsday.’” From the movie Naked

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." Winston Churchill

"The scientific theory I like best is that the rings of Saturn are composed entirely of lost airline luggage." Mark Russell

"The more I see of man . . . the more I like dogs." Madam de Stael

"If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide." Mahatma Gandhi

"I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." Douglas Adams

"Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job." Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my day around." Robert Brault

The Sorting Hat says that I belong in Hufflepuff!

Said Hufflepuff, "I'll teach the lot, and treat them just the same."

Hufflepuff students are friendly, fair-minded, modest, and hard-working. A well-known member was Cedric Digory, who represented Hogwarts in the most recent Triwizard Tournament.

62% Ravenclaw, 79% Hufflepuff, 50% Slytherin and 65% Gryffindor!

Take the most scientific Harry Potter Quiz ever created.

Your result for The Sorting Hat: A Comprehensive Harry Potter Personality Assessment [Test/Quiz] ...

Ravenclaw

56% Ravenclaw, 54% Hufflepuff, 39% Slytherin and 50% Gryffindor!

Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,

if you've a ready mind,

Where those of wit and learning,

Will always find their kind;

The cardinal traits of Ravenclaw are intellect, wit and openness to experience. They are the most introverted house of the four. Ravenclaws are more likely to prefer small gatherings of like-minded individuals and require recooperation after stressful social interaction. These individuals are intuitive creatures, the quintessential researchers. They lack the stubborn, strict, and rule-abiding qualities that would inhibit intellectual growth—one can't be too set in their ways if they are to be open to exploring new ideas and paths of thought.In contrast to Slytherin and Gryffindor, Ravenclaws in general are much more emotionally stable. Their reactions seem dampened compared to the sometimes dramatic responses of the other houses—they're much less likely to get offended, they're more open to criticism, not particularly argumentative and interested in hearing different points of view. They can at times seem to be less interested in people and more interested in their own inner world, and appear to be disconnected from the rest of humanity.

Ambition is secondary to them. Although they may strive to excel in school, knowledge and self-enrichment is the primary goal as opposed to simply wanting good marks. If they do happen to strive for excellence, it is because it fits with their other goals, not out of a desire to be superior or the best. Due to their intuitiveness and willingness to listen, Ravenclaws can be empathetic and make good advisors. They should generally leave leadership roles to people who are more extraverted and who would enjoy them more, however.

Your result for The Commonly Confused Words Test ...

Advanced

You scored 100% Beginner, 93% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 73% Expert!

You have an extremely good understanding of beginner, intermediate, and advanced level commonly confused English words, getting at least 75% of each of these three levels' questions correct. This is an exceptional score. Remember, these are commonly confused English words, which means most people don't use them properly. You got an extremely respectable score.

Your result for The 3 Variable Funny Test ...

The Wit

(62% dark, 38% spontaneous, 37% vulgar)