"You don't cook babies when you're high. You watch SpongeBob"

-My Geology Teacher!

"Vampires are so sexy."

"That is not a vampire. That is a pussy. Are you a lezbo now?"

"Oh my god, I love him. I want to have his babies."

"He would eat you, and not in the way you want!"

"No dude.. I am going to fuck him."

"Yeah? And how are you going to do that? You do know he isn't real right?"

"If I want sex with a fictional vampire I will damn well get it! OK?"

"A vampire would kill you."

"Well then i would die happy!"

"They burn in the sun."

"Sparkle."

"What?"

"Sparkle. THEY SPARKLE!"

"Oh, well in that case, I'm really happy for you."

"Bite me."

"He would."

-Me & My Sister

(Me being the sane one.)