mrs.frenchhorn
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Joined 06-24-09, id: 1982108, Profile Updated: 04-05-10
Author has written 2 stories for Twilight.

Hey! I'm Heather I'm 15 years old! Just like any other normal teenager I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, but unlike any other "normal" teenager I've found a love in writing since it alows me to get out thoughts, feelings, and sometimes a few repressed memories. ;) Well... I'm not going to take anymore time to write stuff here because you should go spend your time reading my stories instead of about me! ;)


10 Commandments of a Teenager

1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping.
(Why wait that long)
2) Thou shall not do drugs.
(Alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.)
3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart.
(Wal-Mart has a bigger selection)
4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism.
(Destruction has a bigger effect)
5) Thou shall not steal from your parents.
(Everyone knows grandma has more money)
6) Thou shall not get into fights.
(Just start them)
7) Thou shall not skip class.
(Just take the whole day off)
8) Thou shall not strip in class.
(Hooters pays more)
9) Thou shall not think about having sex.
(like Nike says, "Just do it")
10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street.
(Just leave ‘em in the middle)


FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS:Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run bitch run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "HONEY, I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl, drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!"


Funny Sayings/Quotes

It's not a complete day unless I scare the crap out of one of my friends.

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

move on. it's just a chapter in the past, but don't close the book, just turn the page.

guys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs

right now im having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. i think ive forgotten this before.

there are three kinds of people in this world; ones that can count and ones that cant

i'm right 90 of the time so why worry about the other 3?

i am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor"- a long difficult task awaits. wish me luck my friends for i may not return alive.

i agree with the dictionary. girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

friends will always be like, well you deserve better, but best friends will be prank calling him saying "you will die in 7 days"

rememeber what you just said, because tomorrow i will have a witty and sarcastic comeback and you will be devestated then!

i fear one day i'll meer god, he'll sneeze and i wont know what to say

you mean, you put down your rock, and i put down my sword and we try to kill each other like civilized people?

they say "guns dont kill poeple, people kill people." well i think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, i dont think you'd kill to many people.

tell a man ther are 300 billion stars in the universe and he'll believe you. tell him a chair has wet paint on it and he'll have to touch it to be sure.

logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

dont let your mind wander, its too little to be let out alone

The real trouble with reality is that theres no background music

War dosent determine who's right. War determines who's left.

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is Lautner SCREW THE FRUIT!

When Obama tells his children to clean their rooms, he ends with, "I'm Barack Obama and I approve this message!"

I call you squishy and you shall be mine. You will be my squishy!

The dinosaur's extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all committed suicide.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door."

You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

My best friends are the kind that if my house were on fire, they'd be roasting marsh mellows and flirting with the firemen. (cough calah cough haha)

Flying is simple. Just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.


16 ways to maintain a Healthy level of insanity.

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing cars, see if they slow down.
2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put a garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for three weeks. Once everyone is over their Caffeine addictions, switch to expresso.
6. Finish all your sentences with "In Accordance to the Prophecy".
7.Don't use any punctuation.
8. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9. Specify that your drive thru order is "To Go"
10. Sing Along at the Opera
11. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
12. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
13. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON I WON!!"
14. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!!"
15. Tell your children over diner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
16. Send this to your friends to make them smile, It's called therapy.


I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! Copy and paste this if you have ever wondered the same thing.


For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it. Crazy is downloading all of Twilight and New Moon off the books on C.D. from the libary, and listning to them over and over again. Crazy is when you dont say a thing about yourself in your fanfiction bio but insted yell random things that make you lafe. Crazy is when you start getting antisocial because you want to read instead of hanging out with your friends. Crazy is when you laugh about how Edward Cullen thinks Bella is DEAD in New Moon, even though it's a very serious matter, and your sister hears you and asks why you're laughing so loud and you tell her and she just cries about it because she thinks it's sad. Crazy is when you headbang to a slow song, or become odsessed with the song "Let it Die" by Three Days Grace because it reminds you of Edward Cullen for some odd reason. Crazy is naming your winter jacket Mr. Puffy and your best friend naming hers Mrs. Puffy and letting them marry for the winter. Then at the end of the winter, they both retire and divorce each other. Crazy is when you are taking a math test and go over on ur scrap sheet of paper to work out the problem, and start drawing spirals until the teacher goes five minutes left! Crazy is having a major arguement with your friend...and i mean major...its still going on and it has already been a year...about which one is better: pudding or jello. Crazy is when you start laughing until you butt falls off for no apparent reason and your mom comes in the room and goes like, "What the hell is going on?" Crazy is if you suddenly yell, 'PARTY IN MY TUMMY!' and everyone stares at you in Pre-Algebra class. Crazy is when you break out in song and dance to Hoedown Throwdown in the middle of stretches during gym class. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!


RULES:

1. Put Your iTunes, Windows Media Player, ETC on Shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Put any comments in parentheses after the song name.
5. Put this in your profile.

this was fun!!(:

1. What would you say about your boyfriend?
God Love Her- Toby Keith (haha i'm a girl and straight btw lol)

2.What is the first thing you say in the morning?
Five Minutes To Midnight- Boys Like Girls (um..ok..makes no sense lol)

3. Your teacher is...
Smother Me- The Used (haha. i got the same song again lol. smother me cause they're so boring!! lol)

4. What's written on your classroom's blackboard?
Goodbyes- Savannah Outen (okay...)

5. How would you describe your next door neighbours?
Attention Attention- The Acamedy is Here (um...okay)

6. What would your Best Friend say about you?
The Beach- All Time Low (um..why would she say that?? lol)

7. How do you feel right now?
Wild At Heart- Gloriana (well...i am hyper right now lol)

8.What's on your bedside table right now?
Jasey Rae- All Time Low (um...okay...)

9.What did you do when you woke up this morning?
Second Chance- Shinedown (um..okay...)

10. When you open your wardrobe you see...
Gone So Young- Amber Pacific (okay...)

11. What did you say after you last attended a concert?
To Be With You- David Archuleta (lol none of these makes sense lol)

12. If you had to write a Fan Fic right now, what would it be called?
Thunder- Boys Like Girls (um...has potential lol)

13. A song you would sing at your school's talent show?
Coffee Shop Soundtrack- All Time Low (i don't think our principal would be too happy lol)

14. Your life's theme song?
Crush- David Archuleta (haha good song not my theme though lol)

15. How would you describe what you are doing this moment?
Poetically Pothetic- Amber Pacific (haha no sense at all)

16. If you had to go and jump of a building, what would your last words be?
Sweet Thing- Keith Urban (again makes no sense lol)

17. Your motto is..
fall for you- second hand serenade (??)

18. If you could by anything in this world you'd buy...
I've got friends in low places- garth brooks (makes no sense)

19. What did you dream about last night?
A day late- amberlin (i was a day late for what?? lol)

20. Any last words?
Stay Awake (dreams only last for a night)- All Time Low (speaks for itself i stay up till midnight talkin to kayla and reading every night lol)


If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

So let me get this straight. FORKS is a real town but EDWARD CULLEN is a fictional character. Why can't it be the other way around??

If you spend multiple hours each day reading and/or writing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that writing or reading Fanfic stories is fun, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are addicted to FanFiction, copy and paste this onto your profile.

IF you have ever burst out laughing about something in a book, and people look at you weird, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk/sing to yourself, copy and past this to your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this to your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this to your profile

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile. (in the driver's ed car i asked which way to turn onto a one way street! hehe in my defense i didn't see the sign that said one way untill after i asked it!! lol)

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 of teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch or American Eagle said it was uncool to breathe. if you are part of the 8 that would stand there and laugh, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane! If you agree, or if you have an insane friend, then copy this to your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile.

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

I do not do drugs. I do sugar. If you're someone who does sugar, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you dont know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are wierd and proud of it, then copy and paste this to your profile!

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy and paste this to your profile.

98 percent of teenagers have do or has tried smoking pot. If you are part of the 2 percent who hasn', copy this to your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you think that those stupid kids should just give that God-forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy & paste this into your profile

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

Pluto was no longer declared a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "Too small" and "Off it's orbit" for a couple scientists’ likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever said something and two seconds later, completely forgot, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

If you get bored easily post this on your profile.

If you have no willpower post this onto your profile.

If you have an odd sort of love/hate relationship with your computer, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have ever seen a movie (or show) so many times that you can quote it word for word. And you do at random moments; copy and paste this in you're profile

If you've ever thought about something when you were talking about something else, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever read a 250 pg + book in less than one day, copy and paste this into your profile

If you ever get a random urge to start screaming copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever turned around and questioned how you got on those subjects after an entire conversation, copy and paste this in to your profile.

If you complain that your feet are cold and your mom tells you to put socks on and you dont just for the sake of being stubborn, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you think 'morning people' should be driven off the face of the planet so they spread their 6-AM cheer to Martians, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you get way to excited for books, movies, etc. to come out, copy this into your profile

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile.

If you've ever yelled at an inatimate object for not listening to you, copy and paste this into your profile.

If that inanimate object now hates you more because you yelled at it, copy and paste this into your profile


kissing is healthy.bananas are good for period pain.it's good to cry.chicken soup actually makes you feel better.94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.lying is actually unhealthy.you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.chocolate will make you feel better.most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.a good friend never judges.a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.boys aren't worth your tears.we all love surprises.Now... make a wish.Wish REALLY hard!!WISH WISH WISH WISHYour wish has just been recieved.Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...Your wish will be granted


For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones you are.)
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.
I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.
I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.
I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz
I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.
I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.
I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.
I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.
I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.
I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.
I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.
I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.
I'm a CHRISTAN, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.
I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.
I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.
I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.
I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.
I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.
I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.
I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.
I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.
I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.
I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.
I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.
I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.
I'm a DANCER, So I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.
I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.
I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.
I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.
I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.
I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.
I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.
I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.
I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.
I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a "big one".
I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!
I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.
I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.
I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.
I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.
I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.
I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.
I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be a player.
I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.
I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.
I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.
I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and thats how Russians roll.
I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.
I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.
I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.
I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.
I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.
I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.
I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.
I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.
Im a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.
Im a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.
Im STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.
I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.
I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.
I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.
I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff
I'm a PUNK so I must only wear black and date only other punks
I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7
I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.
I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.
I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.
I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.
I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA
I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect
I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black
I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.
I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.
I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.
I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.
I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.
I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.
I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.
I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.
I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.
I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon
I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.
I'm an ASIAN GUY, so I MUST have a small penis.
I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.
I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.
I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.
I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.
I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.
I couldn't hurt a FLY, So I MUST be a pussy.
I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.
I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.
I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.
I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.
I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOR, so I MUST be crazy.
I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.
My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.
I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.
I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.
I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE so I MUST be a whore myself.
I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse
I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I must be homosexual.
I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.
I am a FANGIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I WATCH PORN so I MUST be perverted.
I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.
I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak
I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.
I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep
I'm SCOTTISH so I MUST have ginger hair and wear a skirts (It's actually called a kilt)
I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.
I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.
I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.
I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.
I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.
I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.
I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUNHAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.
I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.
I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!
I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.
I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be a HOMOPHOBE
I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser
I care about the ENVIRONMENT...I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.
I CHAT, I MUST be having cyber sex.

I'm PAGAN so I MUST sacrifice babies and drink the blood of virgins
I'm PAGAN so I MUST worship Satan
I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion
I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.
I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.
I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.
I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.
I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.
I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.
I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.
I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.
I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.
I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELED
I DON'T CURSE (much), so I MUST be an outcast
I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish
I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.
I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.
I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.
I’m STRONG so I MUST be stupid.
I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s
I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times
I’m GAY so I’m after EVERY straight guy around.
I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.
I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.
I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.
I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.
I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.
I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.
I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist
I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, then burst into tears at one mistake
I DON’T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems

I like FIRE so I MUST be an arsonist.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be about to bash your head in with a brick.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be about to steal all your stuff.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST be stupid and the tests are getting easier.
I'm a TEENAGER so I MUST twag school.

Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Expect the Unexpected by sparrowsingtome reviews
Edward and Bella have been best friends forever but are dared take their friendship further. Bella finds out she's pregnant and doesn't tell Edward, but decides to move away instead. What happens? Find out!
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Hurt/Comfort/Drama - Chapters: 30 - Words: 56,141 - Reviews: 377 - Favs: 256 - Follows: 185 - Updated: 11/30/2012 - Published: 6/24/2009 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Surviving Parent Abuse by blue fire 101 reviews
The summary is inside, but basically Bella is friends with Cullens, even Rosalie, and her parents abuse her and mistreat her. can she survive. will the Cullen's find out the truth.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance - Chapters: 8 - Words: 7,833 - Reviews: 105 - Favs: 72 - Follows: 73 - Updated: 8/16/2011 - Published: 9/30/2008 - Bella, Edward - Complete
Wife Swap: Cullen vs Clyne by xocullen4everxo reviews
Emmett decides to sign up Esme for Wife Swap. What will happen when she switches places with a woman from Oregon? Will the Cullens like their new mommy?
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor - Chapters: 20 - Words: 31,836 - Reviews: 844 - Favs: 504 - Follows: 431 - Updated: 12/4/2010 - Published: 6/20/2009
Mind Reader by randomgirl18 reviews
Bella Swan has no idea who Edward Cullen is until she hears him in her head. Though they are thousands of miles apart, strangers, they form a bond while thinking each others thoughts. Please read and review.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Suspense - Chapters: 22 - Words: 23,905 - Reviews: 667 - Favs: 340 - Follows: 204 - Updated: 7/19/2010 - Published: 7/26/2009 - Edward, Bella - Complete
My body, my mind, my orders by Master Spy advenger reviews
Alice and Rosalie are 'Ana buddies'; helping each other keep up with an anorexic diet. The only thing that matters to them is their weight, until they each meet a boy who seems to care so much about them. After years of the diet, can they give it up? AH
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 18 - Words: 27,361 - Reviews: 169 - Favs: 55 - Follows: 62 - Updated: 7/13/2010 - Published: 7/4/2009 - Alice, Jasper
Hidden scars by twilightrockslove14 reviews
Bella Swan was a happy young girl until Her mother pasted away 3 years ago. Everyone in town thinks Phil's so great for taking care of his suicidal step daughter. But what they don't know is, Phil is actually the problem. All human! OOC. RATED M
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Hurt/Comfort - Chapters: 6 - Words: 10,637 - Reviews: 77 - Favs: 49 - Follows: 59 - Updated: 3/11/2010 - Published: 7/3/2009 - Bella, Edward
101 Things the Cullens Are Not Allowed to do by Ef0818HaleCullen reviews
A list of things the Cullen kids and Jacob can't do. It's funny, or so i think. Rated T.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Family/Humor - Chapters: 4 - Words: 6,805 - Reviews: 113 - Favs: 80 - Follows: 32 - Updated: 11/27/2009 - Published: 7/27/2009
Prank Wars by Surviving Sheika reviews
April Fool's Day with the Cullens? TAKE COVER! Who will survive this war? Who will emerge victorious? Certainly none of these characters. Rated T for mischief and bad ideas.
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Humor/Adventure - Chapters: 15 - Words: 54,046 - Reviews: 135 - Favs: 123 - Follows: 46 - Updated: 11/21/2009 - Published: 7/18/2009 - Complete
Everybody's Fool by twilightrockslove14 reviews
Edward left Bella in new moon. Bella was broken. 4 years later Bella is perfectly content. Until some familiar people appear in her life again. However, this time joining them is a beautiful strawberry blonde hmmm...interesting. A lil OOC
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Drama - Chapters: 12 - Words: 24,608 - Reviews: 145 - Favs: 102 - Follows: 86 - Updated: 8/11/2009 - Published: 5/17/2009 - Bella, Edward
Sort: Category . Published . Updated . Title . Words . Chapters . Reviews . Status .

Second Chance reviews
I'm Bella, and I have a story to tell. It's not a happy fairy tale, it's the truth, it's life, and despite my attempts there is nothing to do to change it. Untill one day my wishes come true, and I find out the hard way to be careful what you wish for
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Drama/Romance - Chapters: 2 - Words: 1,664 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 2 - Follows: 2 - Updated: 7/27/2009 - Published: 7/20/2009 - Bella
Forever Changes reviews
Bella and Edward are in love and married in 1918. What happens when Edward goes to war and gets killed or so Bella thinks and Bella is pregnant. What happens when the two of them meet again in the future? Do they remember the past? Starts AH but change
Twilight - Rated: T - English - Romance/Tragedy - Chapters: 1 - Words: 1,154 - Reviews: 8 - Favs: 14 - Follows: 18 - Published: 7/14/2009 - Bella, Edward