Johno is me and I like to read. I heard about a book that came out just yesterday. I went to go buy it but I ran into a pickle. Literally! This giant pickle was bigger then me. It tried to swallow me whole! I said no no pickle im supposed to swallow you! Silly pickle.

Then me and the pickle became BFF4L! We frolicked along flowers together. And sang songs around a bonfire. Me and the pickle had OODLES of fun. It was a great day.

Until…

The evil big bertha came and ruined our friendship by starting drama! Drama club that is. I was sooooooooooooooo devastated that the pickle wanted to try out with a different partner! It hurt me in the heart. I wished for so long that the pickle would love me and want to try out with me but he said it was time for change. I cried the whole way home from pizza hut.

That night I decided to runaway but I couldn’t keep up with the fashionistas. I talked to the mirror and choked back tears and I told myself that IM A DIVA! Oh and the smokes in the cigarette box just so happened to be laced with nytroglycerin! But I kept on running! Running away as I was just to do before the world ended! That stupid pickle. It hurt me so bad. I couldn’t stop running. Literally! I couldn’t stop. My legs wouldn’t listen to me. I was screaming, screaming so loud everyone could hear me. “LEGS LEGS stop betraying me! Go spread the word! The legs were betraying me!” Then suddenly an idea sprung into my mind. I knew exactly how to stop! I ran forward until I found the tree that grew…in Brooklyn. I ran into it head first! CRASH! I stopped. Thank goodness for trees in Brooklyn.

Later that night I pulled out my chocolate. Chocolate phone that is. Pickle was calling me. My heart jumped for joy. I answered it casually NOT desperately.

“hey pickle how are you I wasn’t crying im a diva you are too sometimes” I said.

“hi johno I was just calling to see if you wanted to go to the movies tonight. Were going to see the break up.”

I was ecstatic! My best friend pickle invited me to watch a crappy movie with naked Jennifer aniston! Dreams really do come true! My eyes began to water…

“um johno are you there?”

I cried. I cried so much that I couldn’t breathe…

“johno..are you crying?”

I couldn’t stop myself! Running into a tree wouldn’t help this time!..

“yeah johno I changed my mind..bye”

WHAT! I was to busy crying that I didn’t answer pickle! What a tragic day. Stupid pickle. Damn stupid pickle. He knows im super sensitive. We played it all the time. Super sensitive and his sidekick super skank of a pickle. How could this happen! How could this happen…to me!

I was so hurt I decided to runaway but I couldn’t keep up with the fashionistas. I talked to the mirror and choked back tears and I told myself that IM A DIVA! Oh and the smokes in the cigarette box just so happened to be laced with nytroglycerin! But I kept on running! Running away as I was just to do before the world ended! That stupid pickle. It hurt me so bad. I couldn’t stop running. Literally! I couldn’t stop. My legs wouldn’t listen to me. I was screaming, screaming so loud everyone could hear me. “LEGS LEGS stop betraying me! Go spread the word! The legs were betraying me!” Then suddenly an idea sprung into my mind. I knew exactly how to stop! I ran forward until I found the tree that grew…in Brooklyn. I ran into it head first! CRASH! I stopped. Thank goodness for trees in Brooklyn.

Wow what an eventful day. I bought a hoodie to make myself feel better. But then….. I RAN INTO NOODLES ON THE FLOOR! There were vegetables too but mostly noodles. I couldn’t believe it was butter! Noodles on the floor, how ironic in such a stable environment.

I had to act fast. I quickly but subtly pulled out my handy dandy notebook. I had to find the three pawprints before steve. It was mandatory. I quickly but subtly found the first pawprint on a blonde hair wig. I drew it into my handy dandy notebook:

I ran. I ran so fast. I needed to find the next clue. Oh boy what joy that would bring me. I ran. I ran so fast my heart pounded. I blue skadooed I checked the mail I did everything. I found the next clue. It was a basketball. I quickly but subtly pulled out my handy dandy notebook. I pulled out my green crayon and drew. I drew until the name drew was done. I drew. In my notebook :

I was so close! I could subtly feel victory. Smell it, see it, taste it, lick it, hug it hug it kiss it kiss it hug it hug it kiss and caress it. Finally! I had found the third clue! On a magazine with lance bass! It was a gracious day! Oh so very wonderfully subtly gracious! But wait… what is this. This picture has a pawprint on it too! Could there be four clues? I reminisced to the previous minutes. I remembered the mail.

“there will be four clues”

Does this mean there are four clues? I wondered. I wondered subtly. What could this mail message mean! “there will be four clues” oh this was hurting my brain. I came to the conclusion of just drawing both clues. Hoping that there will be four clues:

Then I subtly drew the picture of the boy. The supposedly fourth clue that I was guessing of:

I quickly but subtly finished drawing and shut the notebook. Then I subtly but quickly ran. I ran so fast to the thinking chair. I thought. I thought so hard my head started smoking through my top hat. What could these four clues mean. It was a mystery yes it was. I then remembered who im gunna call…GHOSTBUSTERS! I quickly dialed their number..

“hello! Ghostbusters! I need your help solving blues clues!”

“well be on our way”

They hurried as fast and subtly as they could and the made it just in time before my brain exploded!

“ghostbusters help me!” I cried.

“were here for you” they replied. I showed them all the clues subtly. And they subtly found the answer!

“weve subtly found the answer!”

What is it I said hastily but subtly.

“its…its… its juanny and lance bass playing basketball!”

“WHY YES IT WAS. WHY DIDN’T I THINK OF THAT!”

I thanked the ghostbusters subtly and proceeded to find steve. I found him subtly and I subtly bragged about subtly beating him.

Then…

My chocolate started ringing! Who could it be? I answered it.. IT WAS PICKLE! I had won him back with my glorious but subtle defeat against steve! OH what a marvelous day.

I then ran. I ran so fast. I was so happy. But wait…I couldn’t stop! This was propsterous! I was screaming “LEGS DON’T BETRAY ME!” but they did…..

Prelude: Johno ran. He kept running until he hit the tree. But that didn’t stop him…he ran all the way to red lobster. He robbed the jewelery store and told them to make him a grill. He then met paula wall on magic night. They got married and had johno babies. He lived forever without seeing that silly pickle again….

THE END!