Oooooh profile. lemme see...

The following is an altered extract from Le Roi se meurt (Exit the King) an absurdist drama by Eugene Ionesco

A Brief History of Shan (me).

It was Her Majesty, my Commander-in-Chief, who set the Thames on fire. It was she who invented gunpowder and stole the fire from the gods. She nearly blew the whole place up. But she caught the pieces and tied them together with string. I helped her but it wasn't so easy. She wasn't so easy either.

She was the one who fitted up the first forges of the earth. She discovered the way to make steel. She used to work eighteen hours a day. And she made us work even harder. She was our chief engineer.

As an engineer, she made the first ballon, and then the Zeppelin. And finally with her own two hands she built the first areoplane. At the start it wasn't a success. The first test pilots, Icarus and the rest, all fell into the sea. Till eventually she piloted the plane herself.

I was her machanic. Long before that, when she was only a little princess she'd invented the wheelbarrow. I used to play with her. Then sails and railways and automobiles. She drew up the plans for the Eiffel Tower, not to mention designed the sickle and the plough the harvesters and tractors.

She extinguished volcanoes and caused new ones to errupt. She built Rome, New York, Moscow and Geneva. She founded Paris. She created revolutions, counter-revolutions, religion, reform and counter-reform.

She wrote the Illiad and the Oddessy. She wrote tragedies and commedies under the name of William Shakespeare. It was a secret. She invented the telephone and the telegraph, and fixed them up herself. She did everything with her own hands. My Commander-in-Chief was a very handy woman. Not so long ago she mannaged to split the atom. Her Majesty, Commdander-in-Chief, Master, Managing Director...

Status: Moving house and getting a grown up job. Probably will have to put away childish things for a bit.

If you're sick of people telling you to paste things into you're profile copy this and pa... wait...