FORMALLY HYPER-DINOSUAR-SAYS-RAWR

Hello! Welcome to my page, enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~NEWS ON MY STORYIES~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So I haven't made a story in a long time but I'll get on ASAP.

--Fun Fact!!--
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg is a lake in Massachusetts.

Quotes:
"I love Nudge, Nudge is a great kid, but that motor mouth of hers could have turned Mother Teresa into an ax murderer,"~Max

"For God's sake, Nudge, my ears are bleeding!"~Iggy

"Nope," I said. "We're kinda low-tech than that." Like, having Kleenex would be a huge step up for us. ~Max

'I vill now destroy de Snickurs bahrs!' Gazzy barked."

'We look identical. She even had identical scars and scratches. She was wearing my clothes. How could you tell us apart?' (Max)
He turned to me and grinned, making my world brighter. 'She offered to cook breakfast.'" (Fang)

"'You were designed to be very smart, Max,' she told me.'We electrically stimulated your synaptic nerve endings while your brain was developing.' (The director)
'And yet I still can't program my DVD player,' I said." (Max)

"Holy (insert swear word of your choice here.)"-Fang-MR-AE

"I look like prep school Barbie. Actually, you look like prep school Barbie. I'm just one of her friends." -Nudge-MaximumRide-SOF

"Rowr!" -Fang-MaximumRide-SOF

"Those wacky Brits called fries 'chips'. And potato chips were 'crisps'. And cookies were 'biscuits'. I had no idea what real biscuits were called. Wangdoodles?" ~Max-MR-StWaOES

Jeb turned to her. "She's incorruptible." Bully for me. "At least by power." I said. "You haven't tried chocolate or cute shoes" ~Max and Jeb-MR-Saving the World and Other Extreme Sports.

You... are...a... fridge...with...wings...We're...freaking...ballet...dancers! ~Fang-MR-SOF

"Your mother was a Hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!"-The French Taunter-Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

I ran with scissors, and lived!

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

"Wal-Mart, do they like, sell walls there?" - Paris Hilton

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip n' slide.

I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

All the good ones are either dateing someone, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

Stupid shiny Volvo owner.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

"When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real."

Bush gave an interview and he said people will vote for him because 'They've seen me weep, they've seen me laugh, and they've seen me hug.' These are the same qualifications for a Tickle Me Elmo.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

I'm not so good at advice. Can I intrest you in a sarcastic comment?

Which way does a compass point in space?

Talk to the hand ,a flick of the wrist oh my gosh you just got dissed.

"Do you like my meadow? Try some of my grass! Please have a blade, please do, it's so delectable and so darn good looking!"
"You can eat the grass?"
"Of course you can! Everything in this room is eatable, even I'm eatable! But that is called "cannibalism," my dear children, and is in fact frowned upon in most societies." -Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, the new one.

"Now leave or I shall taunt you a second time!"- French Taunter in monty python and the holy grail.

“Bipolar? It means…” “A bisexual from Poland. Never speak to one, they’re trouble.” -Max and Iggy in Dizzy.Blonde.Girl's fanfiction Bisexual from Poland

Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?

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YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (Alot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow,this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off. (well no, but I've gone though ALOT of pencils)

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

(copy that into you're profile if you fit one or more of the descriptions)
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Top 75 Most Annoying Things To Do In An Elevator

When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.

Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.

Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor your on.

Hold the doors open and say your waiting for a friend. After a while, let the doors close, and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

Drop a pen and wait until someone goes to pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"

Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.

Move your desk into the elevator and whenever anyone gets on, ask if they have an appointment.

Lay down the twister mat and ask people if they would like to play.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they can hear ticking.

Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.

Ask, "Did you feel that?"

Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay, don't panic, they open again!"

Swat at flies that don't exist.

Tell people that you can see their aura.

Call out, "Group Hug!"and then enforce it.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, "Got enough air in there?"

Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "Your one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.

Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce, "I have new socks on".

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is MY personal space!"

Put police tape in front of the door before entering.

Fart loudly when there are only two of you in the elevator. Argue vehemently that it wasn't you.

Do the "potty dance" all the way to the elevator door. Upon arrival, sigh and look greatly relieved.

Throw a rave.

Place potted plants and water fountains at strategic locations in the lift. When people ask what you are doing, tell them you "won't ride an elevator that's not fung shwei."

Greet everyone getting on with a warm handshake and ask them to call you "Admiral".

Hum the first six notes of the "It's a small world" over and over again.

Lean over to another rider and whisper 'Noogie patrol coming!'"

Have a heated debate with yourself.

Bring a melon onto the elevator. Try to sell it to the other passengers.

Drum on every available surface.

Write a big X on the elevator floor, and hand out "pirate" maps to everyone as they enter.

Give psychotherapy to the other passengers.

Greet everyone coming on as if they were your best friend. Use the same name for all of them.

Say "ring ring," then pull a banana out of your pocket and start talking into it.

Propose to the other passengers.

Challenge people to duels.

Sell girl scout cookies.

Come on looking really scared, and say to another passenger..."I'm kinda nervous...this is my first time flying..."

Any time someone enters the doors, recoil in horror.

Shout "Food fight!"

Every time someone else talks, angrily shout: "Some people are trying to sleep here!"

When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to pull the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lick one of the buttons. Tell the other passengers you're sick and tired of people stealing your food the second you turn your back.

Elevators were practically MADE for river dnce!

Bring a snowboard onto the elevator. Put it on. Every time the lift goes up or down, shout "WOO-YEAH! This is what I call sick air!"

Shave.

Every time the elevator goes down, loudly scream "OH MY GOD!! We're all gonna die! This is it! This is it! It's over! IT'S OVER!!" Look relieved when it stops moving. When you begin to drop again, repeat.

Ask the other passengers if they want to see your glass clown collection.

Practice your kung fu.

Make race car noises when people get on and off.

Ask everyone on the elevator: "Are you my mother?"

Fly a model airplane.

Do yoga.

Play the accordion

Enter the elevator with nothing on your head. Individually ask everyone if they like your hat.

Bring a rocking chair. Sit and knit.

Recite gangsta rap lyrics in monotone.

Enter with a shovel, and attempt to "dig for treasure."

Read "Green Eggs and Ham" at the top of your lungs. Sound out every word.
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List of Phobias and fears, that I find amazingly funny!

Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.

Agateophobia- Fear of insanity.

Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic. -Vampires??

Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.-I hate that!

Anglophobia- Fear of England or English culture, etc.

Bibliophobia- Fear of books. -This would probably drive me to phobia listed above (Agateophobia-Fear of Insanity)

Chaetophobia- Fear of hair.

Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors. -That would seriously suck.

Dutchphobia- Fear of the Dutch. -Sorry Dutch people, but some people are afraid of you.

Francophobia- Fear of France or French culture. (Gallophobia, Galiophobia)

Japanophobia- Fear of Japanese.

Russophobia- Fear of Russians.

Judeophobia- Fear of Jews.

Sinophobia- Fear of Chinese, Chinese culture.

Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers. -What can I say?

Ergophobia- Fear of work. -Sounds like a good excuse to me.

Germanophobia- Fear of Germany or German culture.

Gerontophobia- Fear of old people. -I just I can understand this one, I mean an old lady with crutches to walk with. (Shiver)

Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words. -Now this name is just mean!

Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news. -Wow

Nomatophobia- Fear of names.

Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything.
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i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs cpoy and psate it in yuor pofrile
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The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here." The black man turned around and stood up. He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?" The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...
Post this on your profile if you hate racism
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"I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating student as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh crap, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you jerk!" PROPAR GRAMAR AND SPELING ARE ESSECHIAL FOUR MY WEL BEEING?

Maximum Ride

"We were in a top-secret facility in the middle of Death Valley, officially called 'Freaking Nowhere' on any map, and yet he managed to produce marshmallows." -Max

"I feel like pudding. Pudding with nerve endings. Pudding in great pain." -Iggy

"Why was the blind guy playing with matches, you ask? Because he's good at it." -Max

"Let's get out of here. A Ouija board just told me to save the world." -Max

"Can you giggle while racing for your life and protecting a six-year-old? I can." -Max

“Boy, you just can’t kill people like you used to.” –Fang

“Now, Max, I think we both know your parents aren’t missionaries.” –FBI investigator
“No? Well, for God’s sake, don’t tell them. They’d be crushed. Thinking they’re doing the Lord’s work, and all.” –Max

“Can we see him?” –Iggy
“Ig, I hate to break this to you, but you’re blind.” –Max

"Hey whats taking you so long? What are you doing, shaving your mustache?"
"I dont have a mustache you idoit, and neither do you. Maybe, in a few years, we can always hope" - Iggy/Max

"Whats this our side, Kemosabe?" -Max

"It feels weird that no ones throwing a black hood over my head" -Max

"1)Sardonic laughter (always a good one)
2)Rolled eyes and snort of disbelief
3)Sarcastic "youve got to be kidding me" -Max

"Its a baby plane. Its gonna grow up to be seven-forty-seven one day" -Angel

"Louisiana, the state that road maintence forgot" -Max

"Mad crazy, not mad angry, though a lot of them do seem to have anger managment issues, espeically around me" -Max

"Fair isn't fair, Dean. Like I'm supposed to help you because fair is fair? Try, "I need you to help me so I wont rip out your spine and beat you with it." I might respond to that, maybe."

"Total you're black"
"I prefer Canine American" - Total/Iggy

"I take it you don't want me to call your parents."
"Umm, No."
Hello, Lab? May I speak to a test tube please? - Max/Dr Martinez

It was like Christmas, and his birthday, and sort of Halloween all rolled up into one. - Ari

“Now, let’s say they come and get us.” –Max
“And, like, the halls are full of zebras.”-Ig
“And suddenly tons of bubbles are everywhere.” -Gazzy
“And then everyone starts to eat beef jerky,” -Nudge
“Yeah. I’ll grab a zebra; Gaz, you fill all the bubbles with your trademark scent, so people are choking and gagging: and let’s throw beef jerky right into their eyes! Now, that’s a plan!” –Ig

"Buckingham Palace? You know, like where the Queen lives. And Mr. Queen?" - Nudge

"Is dere anysing special about you?Anysing worth saving?" "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica." - Ter Borcht/ Fang

Soaring way up above everything,slicing through the air like sword. Up and up until you feel like you could grab a star and hold it to
your chest like a burning spikey thing...
-Max in Max.

Oh the poetry of a bird kid. Remind me to collect it all into one emotional mushy volume someday under some fake poetic-soundong name like
Gabrielle Charbonnet de la Something-Shmancy.(I'm not kidding. I saw that name on a backpack in France.Poor kid.
-Max in Max.

(more to come)

Copy And Paste

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freaking Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you wish Jacob Black would just die-- OKAY, IMPRINT-- and leave Bella and Edward to love each other, copy this onto your profile.

If you've ever run down an "up" escalator, paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever run up a "down" escalator, paste this into your profile.

If you'll take first watch copy and paste this is in your profile. (inside Maximum Ride joke.)

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love the whole blind, pyro, mutant, baker thing that is Iggy, post this in your profile. (TEAM IGGY!!I LOVE YOU IGGY)

If you relate everything to Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you still laugh rereading Maximum Ride, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

At one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever pushed on a door that said pull (or Vice Versa) copy this into your profile.

If you've ever fallen going up the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you refer to yourself in the third person, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have made up a bunch of strange words that you use frequently, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If keyboards hate you copy and paste this into your profile!

If you read Maximum Ride School's Out - Forever in under 5 hours copy this into your profile.

If you have a dog, and wish he could talk like Total, copy this onto your profile

If you agree that Fang is Fangalicious, copy this into your profile.

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfics, copy this into your profile.

If you're reading this instead of doing something you really need to do, copy this into your profile.

If you're obsessed with fanfiction, copy this into your profile.

If you would kill to have wings, post this in your profile.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

Weird is good. Normal is boring. Beind so normal its wierd is creepy. Being so wierd its normal is cool. Warning people that you are a complete freak when you first meen them, that my friends, is called being sqee. Copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are Squee, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever burned any sort of food in the microwave, oven, toaster, or on the stove, copy this into your profile.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or The O.C. or the Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

If you've ever fallen off a chair backwards, copy this into your profile.

If you like chocolate as much as I do, copy this in your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have over 300 novels in your room and think its odd people gawk at them, copy this to your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have ever insulted someone so stupid that they didn't get the insult, copy this into your profile

If you have ever wondered what the afterlife is like, copy this into your profile

If you are insanely weird, copy this into your profile.

If you want to kill Sam and the red haired wonder, copy and paste this onto your profile. ( If you didnt get that, read Maximum Ride)

If you were scared of the dark before reading Maximum Ride, and now love black-outs and eclipses, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love the darkness, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your reading fanfics when your supost to be studying for a major test the next day, and telling your parents your studying, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you hate those irritating mosquitos giving you mosquito bites, copy this in your profile.

If you say a word in your head until it sounds weird, stop thinking about it, and start thinking about how hot Fang is, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your favorite color was not black before reading Maximum Ride, and now it is, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you enjoy copying and pasting these copy and paste thingys, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile

if someone gave you money for no apparent reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

I like cheese. I have seen purple cows. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese, or when two foots are feet, why aren't two footballs feetball? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile!

If you have ever eaten something none of your friends would try, copy/paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped where there is a ‘watch your step’ sign, copy this into your profile.

If random songs just pop into your head at any given moment, from 'I've Been Working On the Railroad', to the Animorph version of the Barney song (I hate you, you hate me, we're an alien family etc. Personally, I like this version better) to your most favorite song ever, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you've reread TWILIGHT over four times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've reread chapter 23 of TWILIGHT over eight times...copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are obsessed with over 30 characters from books...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you can't figure out if these copy and paste things bug you or if you love them, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you've accidentally called one of your siblings or friends Fang, Iggy, Gazzy, Nudge, Angel or Total copy and paste this is you profile.

If you've ever wished you could go into a book and strangle some of the characters for being so incredibly dumb, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you love Max Ride and cannot live without it, post this in your profile.

If your view on Maximum Ride is that there are much worse things you could be addicted to, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know the answer to life, the universe, and everything, copy and paste this to your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile.

If you're the kind of person who will burst our laughing in the middle of adead silence because of something that happened yesterday, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the kind of person who would rather act stupid than smart, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the kind of person who would get fired at the M&M's company for throwing out the w's, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the kind of person who would rather love a guy from a book than in real life, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the kinda person who does cpr on a goldfish because it was drowning, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the kinda person who will try to climb a cactus, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the kinda person who lets the hobos use her chapstick, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're the kinda person who spends hours trying to slam a revolving door, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile
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Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods..

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)Whose body?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)
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Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.The
boys dont want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree.