Arthur- "And what would you know about magic Merlin?"

Gwaine-"What's that in your hair?", Merlin- "Its Stew", Leon "why have you got stew in your hair?", Merlin "Well because he was reading"- all look to Arthur

Gaius: No it was my fault *hugs Gwen* Merlin: thats disgusting you should know better your old enough to be her grandfather! Gauis: Your alive! Merlin: No im a ghost come back to haunt you!

Uther-to Merlin "Have you some sort of mental affliction?"

Arthur: "You're a brave man Merlin... between battles."

Merlin: You're not scared?
Arthur: Oh, I am, Merlin. Maybe more than you

Lancelot: "You are meant to be… dying."

Merlin: "Sorry. Here."

Dragoon:"Questions...so many questions! For once in your life, would you just do what you told!"

Gaius: "Don't do that again, Merlin. My heart cannot take the strain."
Merlin: "Yes, well, you are getting on a bit. What is this?"
Gaius: "A special welcome home. Your favourite."
Merlin: (Tries the food and pulls a disgust face) "I think that you should stick to cooking up potions, Gaius. This tastes like the bog Arthur found me in."
Gaius: "How did you escape?"
Merlin: "With great skill. Can I ask you something?"
Gaius: "Yes, of course. Anything."
Merlin: "What is the strongest poison that you possess? I had this great opportunity to lace the bandits' food, but nothing to do it with."
Gaius: "Well, that would be Aconite."
Merlin: (Looking for it) "A... conite? Well, I think I should take some of this with me from now on. You never know when you might need to kill someone."

Merlin: (To Audrey, the cook) "You stink worse than your food!"

Arthur: "What do you think about Percival?"
Merlin: "He's very big."
Arthur: "Does that make him a traitor?"

Old Merlin: (To Sir Percival) "Have you got bigger?"
Sir Percival: "You'll be getting shorter if I have my way."
Old Merlin: "Nice. I like it."

Old Merlin: (To Sir Percival, who is resting his sword on Old Merlin's back) "Percival! That is a sword, it does hurt"

Merlin: "Have a little... patience. Think of something pleasant!"
Arthur: "You in the stocks?"

Merlin: "We need to find you some kind of disguise. You're too conspicuous in those clothes."
Simpleton Arthur: "Whatever you say. I'm entirely in your hands."

Tristan: "Simpleton!"
Merlin: "He's talking to you."
Arthur: "I don't answer to that name."
Merlin: "You're in character, remember?"

Merlin: "Pack your things, Simpleton!"
Arthur: "Call me that again and I'll run you through."

Merlin: "You look terrible. How much did you drink last night?" Gaius/Goblin: "You don't look so good yourself. What's your excuse?"

Geoffrey of Monmouth: "Ah, Gaius. I have been meaning to come and see you. I've got this terrible pain in my leg." Gaius/Goblin: "It is hardly surprising when it has to support that enormous gut. Lose some weight, fatty."

Dean Winchester-"you fudging touch me again, i will fudging kill you"-

Castiel on a mobile- " this isnt funny Dean the voice says im almost out of minutes"

Sherlock-"thats not what people normally say", Watson- "what do people normally say?", Sherlock-"piss off"

Sherlock-"Im not a psychopath Anderson, Im a high functioning sociopath, do your research"

Sherlock- "Anderson, dont talk outloud, you lower the IQ of the whole street"

Watson- "Me, Sherlock, in court in tuesday, they're giving me a asbo"

Watson-" Are we here to see the Queen?", *Mycroft walks in, Sherlock " Oh apparently yes"

Mrs Hudson- " that was right on my bins"

"Death ends a life, not a relationship."

"When someone is in your heart, they're never truly gone. They can come back to you, even at unlikely times."

"Accept who you are; and revel in it."

"But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begin."

"We all have same beginning (BIRTH), and we will have same ending (DEATH). So how different can we be?"

"Don't let go too soon, but don't hold on too long."

"The secret to happiness...be satisfied and be grateful."

"Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... "

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

"Life is like a canvas, it begins blank, and every day is like another brush stroke, make your life a masterpiece."

"the past is the past, the present is the present, the future is the future! so don't live in the past, live in the present n look forward to the future!"

"You become best friends with someone; not because you want to . . . because your meant to

"Without humour, life sucks. Without Love, Life seems hopeless. But without a friend like you, life is nearly impossible"

"Some people don't realise a good thing when they've got it and then realise when it's gone it's probably the greatest thing that would ever happen to them."

Carlton Lassiter: I thought I told you no.
Shawn Spencer: But your eyes said yes.

Carlton Lassiter: I need to get something off my chest.
Shawn Spencer: Is it your shirt? Please say no.

Henry Spencer: [leans in very close] Are you busy on Saturday?
Shawn Spencer: You - you want me to come with you to awkward class?

Shawn Spencer: Good morning, detectives! Collecting donations for the Policeman's Ball?
Carlton Lassiter: We don't have balls.
Shawn Spencer: I honestly have no response for that.

Shawn: Kudos on the childrearing. Let me know how the therapy goes

Gus: How do you just eat when there's a dead guy laying there?
Shawn: What, is that rude? Am I supposed to share?

[Lassiter is wearing a fake beard]
Gus: Is that Lassiter? What died on his face?

Gus: Don't touch that, it's blood.
Shawn: It's not blood.
Gus: Enjoy your hepatitis.

Gus: Heard about Pluto? That's messed up.

Lassiter: Scratch that, I'm gonna let you guys stick around and see what real detectives do.
Shawn: Sweet. Just let us know when they get here.

Nigel St. Nigel: I feel like an angel baby swaddled in a cocoon of cloud candy.

Shawn: You're mad.
Gus: I'm not mad; I'm happy, I'm thrilled. I love looking like an idiot.
Shawn: That explains your shoes.

Henry: It's a good thing we wore our lucky shirts.
Shawn: I'm just worried someone is going to stare directly at the pattern and have a seizure.

Vick: Now, Mr. Spencer.
Henry/Shawn: [together] Yes?
Vick: Oh, I meant the older... Sorry, not old... less...
Shawn: Handsome? Less hair? Less friends on Facebook?
Henry: Less nose...

Shawn: We have found our arsonurderer.
Gus: What?
Shawn: Firearsman.
Gus: Uh-uh.
Shawn: Señor pantalones del fuego?

Lassiter: Kiss my sweet... [nun walks by] ...love biscuits.
Gus: I don't know if you made that any less offensive.

Shawn: I'm sorry, but was this chicken seasoned with molten lava? Shawn: I can't see out of my left eye.
Gus: I see dead people. Shawn: Even the water's spicy!
Gus: Who does that?! Shawn: All right, I'm sorry, no offense, but it's stupid that you people eat food this hot.
[Everyone stares at him]
Shawn: [aside to Abigail] I said "no offense", right?

Shawn: Gus, don't be Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Marzipan.
Gus: It's Azkaban.
Shawn: I've heard it both ways.

Shawn: [in a hostage situation] Why don't you let the women, and children, and men, go?