Lessons Learned in Twilight:

1. You can enjoy the bouquet while resisting the wine.
2. The future is not set in stone.
3. Men are crabby when they're hungry.
4. Nothing beats an irritable grizzly bear.
5. True love knows no boundaries.
6. Some people are just danger magnets.
7. Even eternal enemies can work together to save something they love.
8. Forget the fangs - real vampires sparkle!
9. Soul mates exist, even if it takes 100 years to find them.
10. Porshe 911 Turbos make really great bribes.
11. Friendship is like the sun on a cloudy day.
12. Snow just means it's too cold for rain.
13. Family is about more than just blood.
14. What's worth doing is worth over-doing.
15. Losing your temper can be hair-raising.
16. "Vegetarian" has many meanings.
17. Even monsters can hold on to their humanity.
18. There are exceptions to every rule.
19. Always verify bad news before doing something stupid.
20. Hearing voices in your head doesn't necessarily mean you're crazy.
21. Love means being willing to sacrifice your happiness for another's.
22. Cold hands = Warm heart.
23. Not breathing is uncomfortable.
24. Stupid lambs and masochistic lions make quite a pair.
25. Romeo was an idiot.
26. Twilight is the saddest and saefest time of day.
27. Extreme sports should not be attempted alone.
28. Life is worth very little without someone to share it with.
29. Space heaters can be very annoying.
30. Love can make even the most miserable places paradise.

23 PJO Quotes

1)"Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades."

2)"Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."

Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"

Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"

"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."

Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."...I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."

"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.

"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt."

3)"It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up

4)"In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some devine force is really trying to mess up your day."

5)"You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed."

6)"Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.

"That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."

"Which one is me?" I asked.

"The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.

"Oh, shut up."

7)"Be careful of love. It'll twist your brain around and leave you thinking up is down and right is wrong."

8)"Yay! Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!

Tyson"

9)"Jumping out a window five hundred feet aboveground is not usually my idea of fun. Especially when I'm wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck."

10)"The cafe windows wrapped all the way around the observation floor, which gave us a beautiful panoramic view of the skeleton army that had come to kill us."

11)"My dear young cousin, if there's one thing I've learned over the eons, it's that you can't give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it."

12)(""Poison!" Grover yelped. "Don't let those things touch you or..."

"Or we'll die?" I guessed.

"Well...after you shrivel slowly to dust, yes."

"Let's avoid the swords," I decided."

13)""What if it lines up like it did in the Trojan War...Athena versus Poseidon?"

"I don't know. But I just know that I'll be fighting next to you."

"Why?"

"Because you're my friend, Seaweed Brain. Any more stupid questions?""

14)""So, you wrecked Alcatraz Island, made Mount St. Helens explode, and displaced half a million people, but at least you're safe."

"Yep, that pretty much covers it.""

15)""Something was wrong with Luke," Annabeth muttered, poking at the fire with her knife. "Did you notice the way he was acting?"

"He looked pretty pleased to me," I said. "Like he'd spent a nice day torturing heroes."

"That's not true! There was something wrong with him. He looked...nervous. He told his monsters to spare me. He wanted to tell me something."

"Probably, 'Hi, Annabeth! Sit here with me and watch while I tear your friends apart. It'll be fun!'""

16)"She glared at me like she was about to punch me, but then she did sokmethign that surprised me even more. She kissed me.
"Be careful seaweed brain." She said putting on her invisiable cap and disappearing.
I probably would have sat there all day, trying to remember my name, but then the sea demons came."

17)""You drool when you sleep.""

18)"Hades raised an eyebrow. When he sat forward in his throne, shadowy faces appeared in the folds of his black robes, faces of torment,as if the garment was stitched of trapped souls from the Fields of Punishment, trying to get out. The ADHD part of me wondered, off-task, whether the rest of his clothes were made the same way. What horrible things would you have to do in your life to get woven into Hades' underwear?"

19)"Annabeth: "Hey, Seaweed Brain."

Percy: "Will you stop calling me that?"

Annabeth: "You know you love it.""

20)"Percy (to Annabeth): "If I was going to pick one person in the world to reattach my head, I'd pick you."
Silena: "Awww . . . Percy, that is so sweet!"
Annabeth: "Shut up, Silena.""

21)"My mom's funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it's her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that."

22)"'Love conquers all,' Aphrodite promised. 'Look at Helen and Paris. Did they let anything come between them?'

'Didn't they start the Trojan War and get thousands of people killed?'

'Pfft. That's not the point. Follow your heart.'"

And last, but not least, the best.

23)"Remake the world, a little at a time, each in your own corner of the world."

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste this into your profile,

If the fanfic Two Can Tango makes you want to sign up for Edward's tango class, copy and paste this into your profile. :)

If you love Twilight so much that your friends are planning an intervention, copy and paste this in your Profile.

If you want to join me in Rehab so we can secretly keep reading the Twilight series without repercussions, copy and paste in your Profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of all the characters in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you wirte Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of actually doing it. Crazy is when you fill up the tab seperators in your binder with doodles/love notes/ confessions of love/ any other Twilight realted thing you can think of about Twilight or the Twilight characters. Crazy is when you can open up Twilight and know exactly which part you are at just by reading one word. Crazy is when you print out all the Twilight series covers and put them on the wall of your closet. Crazy is when you have a folder in your backpack full of pictures (drawn and computer generated) for the Twilight series, and have all the playlist songs on your iPod. Crazy is when you walk into a store, walk around in duckie robes that are sold there, and take pictures of you and your friends doing crazy things (wearing cat beds on you head or kissing garden statues of frogs) until closing time. For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you see a movie (Bruce Almighty) and then try to walk on water. Crazy is when u yell at your bro through the phone, while texing him. :) Crazy is when you let your friend talking you in to skipping around with paper plate fairy wings on (thanks guys). Crazy is when you call everyone in the phone book that has the last name Cullen. Crazy is, if on a fieldtrip you sit there singing (very loudly so the whole bus can hear) to your mp3 player while writing your fanfiction story. Crazy is when you scream when you hear or see a Volvo, a guy named Edward, or anything else related to Twilight. Crazy is knowing exactly how tennis ball fit on a tennis racket when you pick up tennis balls after you drill. Crazy is when you are on a ski lift back up the mountain you make up names with your friends like lift=cherry picker long lines-the cherry picker is cream filled, when somebody falls down- Jif on Jelly, Somebody does a really cool trick- Peter Pan.Crazy is when you play a game on your friends phone, and then laughed histerically because you lost. If you're crazy, copy this into your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you are so obsessed with Twilight it is NOT even funny anymore, C&P

If you ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, C&P

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, C&P

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfiction, copy this into your pro

If people think you are mentally insane...copy this into your profile

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your pro

If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

If you have an odd sort of love/hate realationship with your computer, C&P

Only crazy people can understand the brilliance of crazy things. If you are crazy and proud of it, C&P!

If you have a friend that thinks Twilight it stupid and refuses to read it, C&P

If you've ever walked into a doorway you could have clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this into your profile

My best friend is insane, if you agree or have an insane friend, copy and paste this on your pro.

If you think the kids should just stop chasing Lucky and leave the freakin' leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles, then copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you are absolutely in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional character Edward, from Twilight, then copy this to your profile

If you've ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste!

If you love rain, copy and paste.

If you think Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann -- Disney's PIRATES OF THE CARRIBBEAN -- are made for each other and that, no matter how awesomely awesome Jack Sparrow may be, he should never, under any circumstances, be with Elizabteh, COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YUR PROFILE!! (Me: besides, that means he's still available...tehehe...)

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are antisocial sometimes, copy and paste.

If you ever felt like killing someone (or more than one person) because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy, copy this into your profile (Me: I was reading

If you are a person who acts friendly, but has an evil mind and is plotting world domination,copy and paste this into your profile.

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste

Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, then weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile!

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are part of the 2 percent who hasn't and likes bageals, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste into your pro

If you've ever copy and pasted something into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever forgotten what you were talking about in the middle of a conversation, C&P

Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree C&P!! (Me: Makes me think of MR...)

If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste (me: in other words, if you are actually taking the time to read all this...)

Don't hate yourself in the morning...sleep till noon

Let's flip a coin: heads, we'll be together; tails, we'll flip again

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back

Boys are like trees - they take fifty years to grow up. (me: there's no way anyone can argue with that...)

Friends will always be like "well, you deserve better", but best friends will prank call him whispering "seven days..."

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject. (me: Just hope that you have something to change it to)

Some day we'll look back on this, and plow into a parked car.

A friend helps you when you fall; a best friend says "Walk much, smart one?"

A friend gives you their umbrella when it rains; a best friend takes your's and says "RUN, BEEP, RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when you're rejected; a best friend walks up (me: in public) to him and says "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail; a best friend will be in the room next to you saying "THAT WAS AWESOME, LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

A good friend helps you when you fall. A best friend laughs and trips you again.

1 out of every 4 people are insane. Look at your three best friends, if it's not them, it's you.

We're best friends. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a brdge, I laugh harder and call out before you die, "WAIT, CAN I HAVE YOUR iPOD?!.

It's always the last place you look...well of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DON'T STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! repost this if you agree.

If you hate the fact that Edward Cullen isn't your boyfriend, copy ans paste this into your profile. (me: I get extremely jealous of the fact...)

If you support the 'Make Edward change Bella into a vampire' club, C&P

If you've had at least 2 friends move away from you...copy and paste.

huh. It figures, all the good guys are taken, vampires, or both.

When it rains on my party, I bust out the slip and slide.

I agree with the dictionary; girls before boys, partying before studying, and friends before love.

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

We fall for stupid boys, we make lots of dumb mistakes, we like to act stupid, talk really fast, and laugh really loud. But us teenage girls, we're realy going at one thing, staying strong.

If you are called 'weird' at least five times a day, post this into your profile.

Arguing with yourself is normal. It's when you argue with yourself and you LOSE that it's weird. If you DISAGREE completely with this statement and find it happening on a regular basis, copy ans paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this to your profile

If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste

ADHD is Automatic Death by Hyperness Disorder

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.(Me: well, ... not really. ;) Heh. )

Officer, I swear to Drunk I'm not God!

People say that people kill people, not that guns kill people. But I don't think it would work if you stood in front of a person and said "BANG!" and they die.

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area, put this in your profile.

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for a couple of scientists' likings. If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this into your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!

If you have ever gone to edit your profile, saw all these cut and paste things, and thought "Man! That is a lot of crap!" copy and paste this into your profile.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, geez!

Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

Don't frown, even when you’re sad, someone could be falling in love with your smile.

Education is important, school however, is another matter.

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound as they go by.

Music is love in search of word.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

I used to be normal, until I met the freaks that I call my friends

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

All the good ones are either gay, married, or fictional characters in books or movies.

The greatest challenge in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, and yet still sees the best in you.

When life gives you lemons, make grape juice. Then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it.

Come join the dark side

If at first you don't suceed, don't try skydiving.

Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real.

I'd rather be hated for who I am than be loved for who I'm not.

My favorite word is sarcasm.

Everyone has a wild side-me and my friends just prefer to make them public

Do not use an axe to kill a fly on your friends' head.

Boys that make you cry aren't worth crying over; boys that are worth crying over won't make you cry.

I find "good morning" a contradiction of terms

I'm not so good at advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?

I called your boyfriend gay and he hit me with his purse

P.S I never changed, I just got tired of pretending I was happy.

Dear Heart, I met a boy today, prepare to shatter.

If you don't like me, there is nothing I can do. Here's a newsflash Honey, I don't live to please you.

Try Not To Cry

Mommy...Johnny brought a gun to school,

He told his friends that it was cool,

And when he pulled the trigger back,

It shot with a great, huge crack.

Mommy, I was a good girl, I did what I was told,

I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold!

When I went to school that day,

I never said good-bye.

I'm sorry that I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry.

When Johnny shot the gun, he hit me and another,

And all because Johnny, got the gun from his brother.

Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much,

And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush.

And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now,

And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now

And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best

Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest

Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class,

And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass

Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one, though. deserves this.

But mommy, it's not fair, I left without a kiss.

And Mommy tell the doctors; I know that they really did try

I think I even saw one doctor, trying not to cry.

Mommy, I'm slowly dying, with a bullet in my chest,

But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest

When I heard that great, big crack, I ran as fast as I could

please listen to me if you would,

I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new

I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo

I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid,

I wanted to be an actress, I really wanted to live.

But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late,

Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry I have to cancel the date.

I love you Mommy, I always have, I know you know its true

And Mommy all I need to say is, "Mommy, I love you"

In Memory of The Columbine & Virginia Tech

Students Who Were Lost

Please if you would,

Don't smash this on the ground.

If you pass this on,

Maybe people will cry,

Just keep this in your heart,

For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".

Now you have 2 choices,

1) Pass this on, and show people you care, repost as

2) Don't send it, and you have just proven how

cold-hearted you really are...

Its ok to cry, I cried, so can you.

Before you do anything at all, stop, read, and email this to your friends. I really could care less if you hate chain mail (i do) but this is sad- for me, anyways.

If you're planning to form a mob to attack Stephenie's publisher because you want Breaking Dawn now, copy this into your profile. (I'll personally supply the pitchforks.)

If you're a proud stalker and obsessed love-struck of Edward Anthony Masen Cullen, copy this into your profile.

If you are absolutly in love with Stephenie Meyer's fictional charater Edward, from twilight, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever been so obsessed with Twilight that whenever you hear thunder you think of vampires playing baseball. Copy and paste this into your profile

If you are counting the days until Breaking Dawn comes out copy and paste this into your profile

I read New Moon and Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD past this in your profile.

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

IF EDWARD AND BELLA DONT STAY TOGETHER I'M GONNA STAB SOMEONE! Repost this if you agreeIf you easily finish one novel a day, copy/paste onto profile.

If you see a black car or a silver volvo drive by and immediatly think,"OMG!! VAMPIRES!!" copy and paste this into your profile.

If you see a silver car, and have to see if it is a volvo, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you figure you need a life because you are so obssesed with twilight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you hate the fact that Edward Cullen isn't your boyfriend (Because he's mine) copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you support the ‘Make Edward change Bella into a vampire’ club, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever fallen up the stairs copy this into your profile

If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile!

If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile.

Ninety-five percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you're one of the 2 percent who hasn't, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Chocolate chip cookies are the best!! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile!!

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn't mean his name has to be Edward Cullen), copy this into your profile.

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile.

If you've ever tripped where there is a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN copy this into your profile

If you've ever walked into a wall before copy this into your profile

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.

Before you criticize some one, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, if well aimed.

One day we will look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Officer, I swear to Drunk I’m not God!

I smile because I have no idea what’s going on.

Life was so simple when boys had cooties.

Boys are like slinkeys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica, twilightgirl1918, Just A Little Bit Dramatic, Pirates OWNS you, Cripsee, I'll have some stupid cliche, magicmehome, Bixxa, trueVaMpIrE, pearberry14, tennisgirl101,timeclockprincess

My Reality Check bounced. If you have ever been pushed into an ice-cold pool copy and paste this into your profile

You know your addiction to Twilight is getting dangerous when you've added "Volterra" to your computer's dictionary.

If you think that TWILGHT is the best book known to woman (and man)...copy and paste this onto your profile.

Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup

If you cried when Edward left Bella in New Moon copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you like filling your profile with 'copy this into your profile' thingys, then COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile.

If you are so obsessed with Twilight that it is NOT even funny anymore, copy this into your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A- Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, SilverMoonArcher, lovelybella, rhythm of life, trueVaMpIrE, pearberry14, tennisgirl101

If you've ever read started to read a chapter in a fan fiction, got side-tracked, and forgot to review and realized it after the author posted another chapter, copy and paste this on your profile.

If If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, EmmettCullenFan, Bella Masen Cullen, Me Love Edward Cullyou, SilverMoonArcher, lovelybella, rhythm of life, trueVaMpIrE, pearberry14,tennisgirl101 are obsessed with fan fiction copy this into your profile

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.

Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that stayed with rock, put this in your profile

If u think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in your profile!

If you've ever wondered why Bush won't leave the friggin' war and let the remaining soldiers live, copy nad paste this onto your profile.

If you think disclaimers are the most annoying thing ever copy and paste this onto your profile.

Instead of doing it yourself, you like to copy. If that describes you, paste this into your profile

If you think that only losers hate/don't get Twilight, copy this into your profile.

If you ever felt like just running somewhere, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy this in your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you think the human identification thing when you log in to fan fiction is annoying, copy and past this into your profile.

If your hair can be considered a weapon, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you realize that copying and pasting things into your profile is pointless, yet you do it anyways, copy and paste this into your profile.

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

IF YOU ARE POSITIVE THAT YOU HAVE SOME OF THESE SAYINGS MORE THAN ONCE, COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE! (It's really becuase you like copy and pasting these, and you don't have the time to read them...

You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your stupid a--.

I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.

A friend helps you up when you fall a best friend continues walking while saying, "Walk much dumbass?"

A friend gives you their umbrella in the rain a best friend takes your and says, "RUN, -BEEP- RUN!"

A friend wipes your tears when your rejected a best friend goes up to him and says, "It's because your gay isn't it?"

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend would be in the room next to you saying, THAT WAS AWESOME , LETS DO IT AGAIN!!

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

I read Eclipse and I wanted to kick Jacob Black REALLY REALLY HARD

OMC-Since Edward is a perfect angel, and God created angels, and Carlisle created Edward, into a vampire, so God is Carlisle. that and every one of us woke up, saw Carlisle, and thought he was God.

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up

If you don't watch Laguna Beach or the O.C. or The Hills religiously, never have, never will, and are proud of it, copy and paste this into your profile

You know you live in 2007 when...

1. You go to a party, sit down and take MySpace pics.

2. You haven’t played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they don't have AIM/LiveJournal/MySpace/Facebook.

4. You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6. Your evening activity is sitting at the computer.

7. You read this list, and keep nodding and smiling.

8. You think about how stupid you are for reading this.

9. You were too busy to notice number five.

10. You actually scrolled back up to check if there was a number five.

11. And now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12. Put this in your profile if you fell for it. You know you did.

Some (somewhat cheesy) Things we all wonder about

Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid
made with real lemons?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why
don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
Why is their Braille on the drive up ATM machine??
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why do we park in the driveway and drive on the park way?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

If you and your friends have a nickname, title, or anything else for each other

If you have ever tripped over air

Slow Dance
This is a poem
written by a teenager with cancer.

She wants to see how many
people get her poem.
It is quite the poem. Please pass it on.
This
poem was written by a terminally ill young girl in a
New York
Hospital .
It was sent
by
a medical doctor - Make sure to read what is in the closing statement
AFTER THE POEM.

SLOW DANCE
Have you ever
watched kids
On a merry-go-round?
Or listened to
the rain
Slapping on the ground?
Ever followed a
butterfly's erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading
night?
You better slow down.
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.

Do you run through each day
On the
fly?
When you ask How are you?
Do you hear the
reply?
When the day is done
Do you lie in your
bed
With the next hundred chores
Running through
your head?
You'd better slow down
Don't dance so
fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.

Ever told your child,
We'll do it
tomorrow?
And in your haste,
Not see
his
sorrow?
Ever lost touch,
Let a good
friendship die
Cause you never had time
To call
and say,"Hi"
You'd better slow down.
Don't dance
so fast.
Time is short.
The music won't
last.

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You
miss half the fun of getting there.
When you worry and hurry
through your day,
It is like an unopened

gift...

Thrown away.

Life is not a
race.
Do take it slower
Hear the
music
Before the song is over.--

FORWARDED E-MAILS ARE TRACKED TO OBTAIN THE TOTAL
COUNT.

Dea r All: PLEASE pass this mail on to everyone you know -
even to those you don't know! It is the request of a special girl who will soon
leave this world due to cancer.

This young girl has 6 months left
to live, and as her dying wish, she wanted to send a letter telling everyone to
live their life to the fullest, since she never will.

She'll never make it to prom, graduate from high school, or get married and have a
family of her own.

By you sending this to as many people as
possible, you can give her and her family a little hope, because with every name
that this is sent to, The American Cancer Society will donate 3 cents per name
to her treatment and recovery plan. One guy sent this to 500 people! So I know
that we can at least send it to 5 or 6. It's
not even your money, just
your time!

PLEASE PASS ON AS A LAST REQUEST.

Dr.
Dennis Shields, Professor
Dep artment of Developmental and Molecular Biology
1300 Morris Park Avenue
Bronx , New York
10461

Crazy is when you memorize the biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least).

Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it.

Crazy is when you giggle upon finding out that Edward has gone to the Volturi, because it was stupid for him to take second hand information.

Crazy is when you wish your boyfriend's name was Jasper or Edward.

Crazy is when you sit for hours on end talking about Edward with your friends.

Crazy is when one of your friends come up to you and says "He is so completely georgous!" and you know exactly who their talking about because your brain is no longer set on English, but Twilight.

Crazy is sitting in about every desk in your english class becasue you and your friends wont stop talking about Twilight and Edward so then your teacher tries to seperate you but it never works becasue the bond between Edward fans always bring you back together.

Crazy is when you start laughing in the middle of class because you mind is tottally set on Twilight or some fanfic story.

Crazy is when you go see Twilight, and on the way back from the cinema you text your boyfriend telling him you don't love him any more, there is another man (of sorts) and his name is EDWARD CULLEN!!

Crazy is when you do all of these things and don't even realize it.

Crazy is when you start thinking Edward will save you from a rushing van.

Girl: Do I ever cross your mind?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you like me?

Boy: No

Girl: Do you want me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you cry if I left?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you live for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Would you do anything for me?

Boy: No

Girl: Choose--me or your life

Boy: My life

The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says...

The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind.

The reason why I don't like you is because I love you.

The reason I don't want you is because I need you.

The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left.

The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you.

The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you.

The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life.

37 Things to do in an Elevator

1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. Meow occasionally.
6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM!" - and back away slowly.
7. Say "DING!" at each floor.
8. Say "I wonder what all these do?" and push all the red buttons.
9. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. Stare grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. Try to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. As you are coming to the end of the journey, get emotional and have a group hug. Tell them that you will never forget them.
16. Ask if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. Pretend you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
21. Swat at flies that don't exist.
22. Call out "Group hug!" then enforce it.
23. Make car race noises when someone gets on or off.
24. Congratulate all for being in the same lift with you.
25. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, all of you just shut UP!"
26. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
27. While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, "Hide it...quick!" then whistle innocently.
28. Let your cell phone ring - don't answer it.
29. Walk into the lift and say "This reminds me of being buried alive. Ah, those were the days..."
30. Take shoes off before entering. Then look shocked and disgusted when the others don't.
31. Ask people which floor they want, say in 'Who want to be a millionaire' style is that your final answer.
32. Also in your bellboy act, ask what floor they want. Whatever they say, give them a glare and say "you should be ashamed of yourself!", and leave the lift tutting.
33. Ask, "Did you feel that?"
34. Tell people that you can see their aura.
35. When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
36. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
37. Dress up in a long, black cloak with a hood, stare and in a deep voice announce "It is time..."

40 Ways to Annoy the Volturi:

1. Yell "Aro made 4001 immortal children!" while running around Volterra.

2. Tell Jane since she can't hurt Bella that she's too old to use her powers.

3. Instead of human blood, give Caius animal blood and blame Aro.

4. Tell Marcus Aro killed Didyme.

5. Ask them to join the good side for a cookie.

6. Every time they kill someone give them a gold star.

7. Chant "The Cullens PWN the Volturi" while they're around.

8. Read them bedtime stories and say if they don't sleep they don't get blood.

9. Tell them they have to eat food before they get blood.

10. On St. Marcus day wear red and say the day stinks.

11. Wear a "Werewolf and Proud" shirt when Caius is around.

12. Wear a "Vegetarian and Proud" shirt when Aro's around.

13. Tell Aro Edward called and said he wanted to join for an animal blood cookie.

14. Tell them they'll never get near the Cullens until they're dead.

15. Ask Aro what really happened to his sister.

16. Make sure Marcus is secretly listening.

17. Bring everyone who loves Edward to the Volturi and tell them they killed him.

18. Tell the Volturi you'll make them stop if they never interfere with the Cullens again.

19. Even after you're dead.

20. Ask them to make you a vampire so you can join the Cullens and not them.

21. Tell Aro Nessie is an immortal child and edward lied to get away w/ it.

22. Stand in front of them and tell them Bella's not a vampire.

23. Tell them they stink.

24. Get Alice to steal Aro's yellow Porsche.

25. Tell them there's a vampire convention in Malibu or Miami Beach.

26. Tell them that they're not real vampires because they don't scare anyone.

27. When they're gone, replace their black cloaks with revealing outfits.

28. Give Caius a werewolf for his birthday.

29. Burn down their castle.

30. Cover them in glitter.

31. Stare at the mirror naked, then go grab Aro.

32. Cover yourself in glitter.

33. While you are, run around Volterra saying you're a sparkly vampire.

34. Wait outside the castle w/ a million fangirls wearing "WE LOVE YOU, DEMETRI!" shirts.

35. Tell Aro it's a lost cause to get the Cullens to join because they truly dislike him.

36. Tell them the Romanian Clan could beat them any day.

37. Tell them you found a way to so they never die and then take them to a volcano.

38. Make them go to counseling and talk about their problems.

39. Have them see a doctor for depression.

40. Make them sit down and discuss why these reasons would annoy them.