i am obsessed with Sisters Grimm and have bad spelling dirty blode hair & blue gray eyes play claranet

in here there is a About Me ,Upadates ,Facts,Random Junk,Lists, Other.

About Me:

NAME: Sarah Newcomb- might as well go to google all you get is people from long long ago

Books i like

Harry Potter - and for those who think its childish would you really give this to a little kid if you have read it all ?

Sisters Grimm

Percy Jackson

Books I hate and yes I have read them ALL

Twilght - dont kill me Ivy but i think it is badly written and bella is a complete idiot and i dont know why people would want a boyfriend that can kill you very easily is a vampire sparkles and is really kinda rude all at once.

Update:

update-3-15-09==still word is down!!hmm ...bored think ill read harry potter stuff

Update-3-8-09 ==greatly annoyed dont know how to post a story and Word isnt working !!

UPDATE _ 2-26-09- Hi Not soppesed 2 be diong this Will Post New story Soon!!

First off, I must say, Rest in Peace:

James and Lily Potter, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black (The True Mauraders) Nymphadora Tonks, Professor Snape, Fred Weasley, Colin Creavy, Dobby, Hedwig, Regulus Black, Charity Burbedge, Mad-Eye Moody, Cedric Diggory, Gregorvitch, Sturgis Podmore, and all the brave souls that were lost to the War against Voldie.

May you all rest in Peace, and Remember you're never forgotten

To James and Lily,
Who died at the beginning,
To Remus and Dora,
Who will never know their son,
To Dumbledore,
Who was as human as Harry,
To Sirius,
who was punished for what he didn't do
To Severus,
who wasn't as bad as we thought,
To the hundreds that died needlessly,
To the many that died 'for the greater good',
To these brave souls I raise my glass,
May they forever Rest In Peace...

In Remembrance

…In Remembrance to Severus Snape….

….A Slytherin who died like a Gryffindor…

...without all the red and gold crap.

…In Remembrance to Fred Weasley…

…Who fought bravely to the very end….

…And whose jokes will forever brighten his other half…

…And will loyally await his soul mate and brother…

… with many jokes…

...he's got forever to think of them, right?

…In Remembrance to Dobby…

…Who was more free and full of love…

...than any elf, and most humans.

….In Remembrance to Remus J. Lupin….

...the last real Marauderer...

…who was not just a wonderful father…

….a incredible husband and brave hero…

...as well as a freakin' awesome werewolf.

….In Remembrance to Nymphadora Tonks…

…who died for ‘the greater good’…

...and would probably hex me for calling her Nymphadora.

…In Remembrance of Alastor ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody….

…who’s motto ‘constant vigilance’ kept him alive…

...and scared the crap out of some kids too.

…In Remembrance of Tom Marvelo Riddle a.k.a. Voldiemort….

…who was pretty cool, and cute when he was younger…

…but who got his butt thoroughly kicked in the end

…In Remembrance of Albus Dumbledore…

…whose past and wisdom confused us…

…whose seeming betrayal shocked us…

…but actually who turned out to be an okay guy in the end...

...despite the whole 'almost killing Harry' thing.

In Remembrance to Bellatrix Lestrange…

… because it’s was awesome how Molly slapped her with that Avada Kedavra!

She deserved everything she got and more.

…In Remembrance of Colin Creevey…

…who we really didn’t know too well…

…but took a lot of pictures and died fighting in a war…

…so he must’ve done something good…

…besides stalking Harry.

…In Remembrance of Hedwig…

...Harry's actual first friend…

...who lived and died soaring

Harry Potter Quotes

Harry Potter-

"He was my mum and dad's best friend. He's a convicted murderer, but he's broken out of wizard prison and he's on the run. He likes to keep in touch with me, though...keep up with news...check if I'm happy..."

"Brilliant! It's Potions last thing on Friday! Snape won't have the time to poison us all!"

"Yeah, Quirrell was a great teacher. There was just that minor drawback of him having Lord Voldemort sticking out of the back of his head!"

"Well, I had one that I was playing Quidditch the other night," said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. "What do you think that means?"
"Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something," said Harry, turning the pages of The Dream Oracle without interest.

"And Harry said last night," retorted Ron, "if it means we're supposed to get matey with the Slytherins, fat chance."
"Well, I think it's a pity we're not trying for a bit of inter-House unity," said Hermione crossly.
They had reached the foot of the marble staircase. A line of fourth-year Ravenclaws was crossing the entrance hall; they caught sight of Harry and hurried to form a tighter group, as though frightened he might attack stragglers.
"Yeah, we really ought to be trying to make friends with people like that," said Harry sarcastically.

"Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you..."
"Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically.

"How long have you been 'Big D' then?" said Harry.
"Shut it," snarled Dudley, turning away again.
"Cool name," said Harry, grinning, "but you'll always be Ickle Diddykins to me."
"Shut your face."
"You don't tell her Aunt Petunia to shut her face. What about 'popkin' and 'Dinky Diddydums,' can I use them then?" "Why were you lurking under our window?"
"Yes -- yes, good point, Petunia! What were you doing under our windows, boy?"
"Listening to the news," said Harry in a resigned voice.
His aunt and uncle exchanged looks of outrage.
"Listening to the news! Again?"
"Well, it changes every day, you see," said Harry.

"Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..."

"Cut it out," he said firmly, rubbing the scar as the pain receded again. "First sign of madness, talking to your own head," said a sly voice from the empty picture on the wall.

--
"I like a quiet life, you know me."

"And they'd the Death Eaters love to have me," said Harry sarcastically. "We'd be best pals if they didn't keep trying to do me in."

--
"There's no need to call me sir Professor."

"This is night, Diddykins. That's what we call it when it goes all dark like this."

--
Ron Weasley

Prefects Who Gained Power: "A Study of Hogwarts Prefects and Their Later Careers... That sounds fascinating..."

"I want to fix that in my memory forever. Draco Malfoy, the amazing bouncing ferret..."

"Hearing voices no one else can hear isn't a good sign, even in the wizarding world."

"Viktor? Hasn't he asked you to call him Vicky yet?"

"Sunshine, daisies, butter mellow,
Turn this stupid, fat rat yellow."

Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," said Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," said Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," said Ron.

"But why's she got to go to the library?"
"Because that's what Hermione does. When in doubt, go to the library."

Can I have a look at Uranus, too, Lavender?"

Hermione "Aren't you two ever going to read Hogwarts: A History?"
"What's the point? You know it all by heart, we can just ask you."

"Accio Brain!"

Hermione frowned at Ron.
"He's not a nutter, Ron--"
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque just like his mother," said Ron irritably. "Is that normal, Hermione?"

"Well, we were always going to fail that one," said Ron gloomily as they ascended the marble staircase. He had just made Harry feel rather better by telling him how he told the examiner in detail about the ugly man with a wart on his nose in the crystal ball, only to look up and realize he had been describing the examiner's reflection.

"Ron, we're supposed to show the first-years where to go!"
"Oh, yeah," said Ron, who had obviously forgotten. "Hey-hey you lot! Midgets!"
"Ron!"
"Well, they are, they're twitchy..."

"What's up with you, Hermione?"
She was gazing out the window, but not as though she really saw it. Her eyes were unfocused and there was a frown on her face.
"Just thinking..." she said, still frowning.
"About Siri -- Snuffles?" said Harry.
"No...not exactly..." said Hermione slowly. "More...wondering...I suppose we're doing the right thing...I think...aren't we?"
Harry and Ron looked at each other.
"Well, that clears that up," said Ron. "It would have been really annoying if you hadn't explained yourself properly."

"I've got two Neptunes here," said Harry after a while, frowning down on his parchment, "that can't be right, can it?"
"Aaaah," said Ron, imitating Professor Trelawney's mysical whisper, "when two Neptunes appear in the sky, it is a sure sign that a midget in glasses is being born, Harry..."

"...from now on, I don't care if my tea leaves spell 'die, Ron, die,' I'm chucking them in the bin where they belong."

"It's obvious," said Ron. "You can pretend to be waiting Professor Flitwick, you know." He put on a high voice, "'Oh, Professor Flitwick, I'm so worried, I think I got question fourteen b wrong...'"

"Stop moving!" Hermonie ordered them. "I know what this is-it's the Devil's Snare!"
"Oh, I'm so glad we know what it's called, that's a great help," snarled Ron, leaning back, trying to stop the plant from curling around his neck.

"Did I tell you I've invented a broomstick that'll reach Jupiter?"

"There you go, Harry," Ron shouted over the noise. "You weren't being thick after all - you were showing moral fiber!"

"You need your inner eye tested if you ask me."

"Lockhart'll sign anything if it stands still long enough."

"Yeah, I've seen those things they think are gnomes," said Ron, bent double with his head in a peony bush, "like fat little Santa Clauses with fishing rods."

"I tell you, that dragon is the most horrible creature I've ever met, but the way Hagrid goes about it you'd think it was a fluffy little bunny rabbit. When it bit me, he told me off for frightening it. And when I left he was singing it a lullaby."

"Tomorrow," said Ron in a muffled voice, "I'd rather you set the alarm clock."

"Could've been anything," said Ron. "Maybe he Tom Riddle got thirty O.W.L.s or saved a teacher from the giant squid. Maybe he murdered Myrtle; that would've done everyone a favor..."

"It would've been so easy to push Malfoy off a glacier and make it look like an accident.."

"Percy's started work - the Department of Magical Cooperation. Don't mention anything about abroad while you're here unless you want the pants bored off of you."

"Percy wouldn't recognize a joke if it danced naked in front of him wearing Dobby's tea cozy."

"You want to be careful with those," Ron warned Harry. "When they say every flavor, they mean every flavor!"

"I don't need help," Ron whispered. "It's obvious what this means. There's going to be loads of fog tonight."

"When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a shufti to see if it's solid, aren't we, we're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?"

"Fred and George tried to get me to make one Unbreakable Vow when I was about five. I nearly did, too, I was holding hands with Fred and everything when Dad founds us. He went mental," sid Ron, with a reminiscent gleam in his eyes. "Only time I've ever seen Dad as angry as Mum. Fred reckons his left buttock has never been the same since."

"Yeah, well, Percy wouldn't want to work for anyone with a sense of humor, would he?"

"I love you, Hermione."

"IF WE DIE FOR THEM, I'LL KILL YOU HARRY!"

"You should write a book translating the mad things girls do so boys can understand them."

"You sound like Hagrid. It's a dragon, Hermione, it can take care of itself. It's us we need to worry about."

"Well, I don't know how to break this to you, but I think they might have noticed we broke into Gringotts."

"Blimey, Neville, there's a time for getting a smart mouth."

Hermione Granger

"Oh Harry, don't you see? If she could have done one thing to make absolutely sure that every single person in this school will read your interview, it was banning it!"

Hermione drew herself to her full height; her eyes were narrowed and her hair seemed to crackle with electricity.
"No," she said, her voice quivering with anger, "but I will write to your mother."

--
"Just because you've got the emotional range of a teaspoon doesn't mean we all have."

"Just because it's taken you three years to notice, Ron, doesn't mean no one else has spotted I'm a girl!"

"The fates have informed me that your examination in June will concern the Orb, and I am anxious to give you sufficient practice.
Hermione snorted.
"Well honestly... 'the fates have informed her'... Who sets the exam? She does!"

"Twitchy little ferret, aren't you, Malfoy?"

"I hope you're pleased with yourselves. We could all have been killed - or worse, expelled. Now if you don't mind, I'm going to bed."

--
"At least no one on the Gryffindor team had to buy their way in. They got in on pure talent."

"Grawp's about sixteen feet tall, enjoys ripping up twenty-foot pine trees, and knows me," she snorted, "as Hermy."

You-complete-arse-Ronald-Weasley!"

"I will not calm down!"

"Imagine losing fingernails, Harry! That really puts our sufferings into perspective, doesn't it?"

Fred and George Weasley-

"Make way for the heir of Slytherin, seriously evil wizard coming through..."

"Yeah, Montague tried to do us during break," said George.
"What do you mean, 'tried'?" said Ron quickly.
"He never managed to get all the words out," said Fred, "due to the fact that we forced him head-first into that Vanishing Cabinet on the first floor."
Hermione looked very shocked.
"But you'll get into terrible trouble!"
"Not until Montague reappears, and that could take weeks, I dunno where we sent him," said Fred coolly.

"Are you trying to weasel out of showing us any of this stuff?" said Zacharias Smith.
"Here's an idea," said Ron loudly, "why don't you shut your mouth?"
"Well, we've all turned up to learn from him, and now he's telling us he can't really do any of it," he said.
"That's not what he said," said Fred Weasley.
"Would you like us to clean out your ears for you?" inquired George, pulling a long and lethal-looking metal instrument from inside one of the Zonko's bags.
"Or any part of your body, really, we're not fussy where we stick this," said Fred.

"Cheers," whispered George, wiping tears of laughter from his face.
"Oh, I hope she tries Vanishing them next...they multiply by ten every time you try..."

"We tried to shut him in a pyramid, but Mum spotted us." -George

"Has Ron saved a goal yet?" asked Hermione.
"Well, he can do it if he thinks no one is watching him," said Fred, rolling his eyes. "So all we have to do is ask the crowd to turn their backs and talk among themselves every time the Quaffle goes up on his end Saturday."

"You don't want to bottle your anger up like that, Harry, let it all out," said Fred, beaming. "There might be a couple people fifty miles away who didn't hear you."

"Hey, look - Harry's got a Weasley sweater, too!" Fred and George were wearing blue sweaters, one with a large yellow 'F' on it, the other a 'G.'
"Harry's is better than ours, though," said Fred, holding up Harry's sweater. "She obviously makes more of an effort if you're not family."
"Why aren't you wearing yours, Ron?" George demanded. "Come on, get it on, they're lovely and warm."
"I hate maroon," Ron moaned half-heartedly as he pulled it over his head.
"You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."

"Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy--"
"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing."
Percy scowled.
"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.
"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seizing her hand too. "How really corking to see you--"

"We'll send you a Hogwarts toilet seat!" - George

"We've got it Percy's Head Boy badge. We're improving it." The badge now read, "Bighead Boy."

"You're a prefect? Oh Ronnie! That's everyone in the family!" Molly Weasley
"What are Fred and I? Next door neighbors?"

"So top grade's O for 'Outstanding,'" she Hermione was saying, "and then there's A-"
"No, E," George corrected her, "E for 'Exceeds Expectations.' And I've always thought Fred and I should've got E in everything, because we exceeded expectations just by turning up for the exams."

"Well, I certainly don't," said Percy sanctimoniously. "I shudder to think what the state of my in-tray would be if I was away from work for five days."
"Yeah, someone might slip dragon dung in it again, eh, Perce?" said Fred.
"That was a sample of fertilizer from Norway!" said Percy, going very red in the face. "It was nothing personal!"
"It was," Fred whispered to Harry as they got up from the table. "We sent it."

"I can't see anyone trying to bump off a Quidditch team," said George. "Wood might've done the Slytherins if he could've got away with it," said Fred fairly.

"So, all in all, not one of Ron's better birthdays?" Fred

"What are we doing here? Has something gone wrong?"
"Oh no, Ron," came Fred's voice, very sarcastically. "No, this is exactly where we wanted to end up."
"Yeah, we're having the time of our lives here," said George, whose voice sounded muffled, as though he was squashed against the wall.

"This isn't how we imagined handing over our present," said George grimly, putting down a large wrapped gift on Ron's bedside cabinet and sitting beside Ginny.
"Yeah, when we pictured the scene, he was conscious," said Fred.

“For instance, this new idea that You-Know-Who can kill with a single glance from his eyes. That’s a basilisk, listeners. One simple test: Check whether the thing that’s glaring at you has got legs. If it has, it’s safe to look into its eyes, although if it really is You-Know-Who, that’s still likely to be the last thing you ever do.” Fred

--
Draco Malfoy

"Well, I can certainly see why we're trying to keep them alive. Who wouldn't want pets that can burn, sting, and bite all at once?"

"Azkaban - the wizard's prison, Goyle. Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backwards."

"Montague's just been found in a toilet, Sir."

"You'd better hurry up, they'll be waiting for 'the Chosen Captain'-- 'The Boy Who Scored'-- whatever they call you these days."

Albus Dumbledore

"I believe your friends Misters Fred and George Weasley were responsible for trying to send you a toilet seat. No doubt they thought it would amuse you."

"By all means continue destroying my possessions. I daresay I have too many."

It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

"I don't need a cloak to become invisible."

"Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak!"

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

"I could break out, of course, but what a waste of time, and frankly I can think of a whole host of things I'd rather be doing."

"Scars can come in handy. I have one myself above my left knee that is a perfect map of the London Underground."

"I see a light in the kitchen. Let us not deprive Molly any longer of the chance to deplore how thin you are."

"The shock of her desertion may have contributed to his early death – or perhaps he had simply never learned to feed himself."

"No, I was merely reading the Muggle magazines," said Dumbledore. "I do love knitting patterns."

"For future reference, Harry, it is raspberry...although of course, if I were a Death Eater, I would have been sure to research my own jam preferences before impersonating myself."

"It is a long time since my last visit," said Dumbledore, peering down his crooked nose at Uncle Vernon. "I must say, your agapanthuses are flourishing."

"--yet, sadly, accidental rudeness occurs alarmingly often. Best to say nothing at all, my dear man."

"I would assume that you were going to offer me refreshment, but the evidence so far suggests that that would be optimistic to the point of foolishness."

"Oh, you know about Nicolas?" said Dumbledore, sounding quite delighted. "You did do the thing properly, didn't you?"

"What happened down in the dungeons between you and Professor Quirrell is a complete secret, so, naturally the whole school knows."

--
“Tell me one last thing,” said Harry. “Is this real? Or has this been happening inside my head?”
“Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?”

Sirius Black

"If you made a better rat than a human, that's not much to boast about."

"I'll look for him later, I expect I'll find him upstairs crying his eyes out over my mother's old bloomers or something...Of course, he might have crawled up into the airing cupboard and died...But I mustn't get my hopes up..."

"Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate."

"Keep muttering and I will be a murderer!"
--

"Of course, any time the family produced someone halfway decent they were disowned."

Rubeus Hagrid

"NEVER-INSULT-ALBUS-DUMBLEDORE-IN-FRONT-OF-ME!"

"Meant ter turn him into a pig, but I suppose he was so much like a pig anyway there wasn't much left ter do."

"Ah, shut up, Dursley, yeh great prune."

"Gotta bone ter pick with yeh. I've heard you've bin givin' out signed photos. How come I haven't got one?"

"I'm a teacher!" he roared at Harry. "A teacher, Potter! How dare yeh threaten ter break down my door!"

"If anyone wanted ter find out some stuff, all they'd have ter do would be ter follow the spiders. That'd lead 'em right! That's all I'm sayin'."

"Never try an' get a staight answer out of a centaur. Ruddy stargazers. Not interested in anythin' closer'n the moon."

Severus Snape
"Oh, very good," interrupted Snape, his lip curling. "Yes, it is easy to see that nearly six years of magical education have not been wasted on you, Potter. 'Ghosts are transparent.'"

--
"Fascinating though your social life undoubtedly is, Miss Granger, I must ask you not to discuss it in my class. Ten points from Gryffindor."

"Or maybe, he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train."

--
"Fascinating though your social life undoubtedly is, Miss Granger, I must ask you not to discuss it in my class. Ten points from Gryffindor."

"Or maybe, he's waiting to hear why you two didn't arrive on the school train."

Luna Lovegood

"I've been able to see them ever since my first year here. They've always pulled the carriages. Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am."

"Dad's reprinting! He can't believe it, he says people seem even more interested in this than the Crumple-Horned Snorkacks!"

"Mistletoe," said Luna dreamily, pointing at a large clump of white berries placed almost over Harry's head. He jumped out from under it. "Good thinking," said Luna seriously. "It's often infested with nargles."

"I enjoyed the meetings, too. It was like having friends."

"Nobody's ever asked me to a party before, as a friend! Is that why you dyed your eyebrow, for the party? Should I do mine, too?"

"The Aurors are part of the Rotfang Conspiracy, I thought everyone knew that. They're working from within to bring down the Ministry of Magic using a combination of Dark magic and gum disease."

"A Wrackspurt - they're invisible, they float in through your ears and make your brain go fuzzy," she said. "I thought I felt one zooming around in here."

"I'll distract them all," she said. "Use your Cloak." And before he Harry could say a word, she had cried, "Oooh, look, a Blibbering Humdinger!" and pointed out the window.

“Daddy, look—one of the gnomes actually bit me!”

"I've never stunned anyone except in our D.A. lessons," said Luna, sounding mildly interested. "That was noisier than I thought it would be."

--
"Ah, of course. There is no need to tell me any more, Ms. Granger. Which one of you will be dying this year?"

Minerva McGonagall

"Really, what has got into you all today? Not that it matters, but that's the first time my transformation's not got applause from a class."

"I wonder," said Professor McGonagall in cold fury, turning on Professor Umbridge, "how you can expect to gain an idea of my usual teaching methods if you continue to interrupt me? You see, I do not generally permit people to talk when I am talking."

"I should have made my meaning plainer," said Professor McGonagall, turning at last to look at Umbridge directly in the eyes. "He has achieved high marks in all Defense Against the Dark Arts tests set by a competent teacher."

"It unscrews the other way."

"Are you quite sure you wouldn't like a cough drop, Dolores?"

"Take Charms and I shall drop Augusta a line reminding her that just because she failed her Charms O.W.L., the subject is not necessarily worthless."

--
"I doubt it will make much of a difference," said Professor McGonagall coldly, "unless a mad axe-man is waiting outside the doors to slaughter the first into the entrance hall."

"Well, usually when a person shakes their head," said McGonagall coldly, "they mean 'no.' So unless Miss Edgecombe is using a form of sign language as yet unknown to humans --"

“We teachers are rather good at magic, you know.”

Other

"Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor."
- The Marauder's Map

"And do I look like the kind of man that can be intimidated?" barked Uncle Vernon.
"Well..." said Moody, pushing back his bowler hat to reveal his sinisterly revolving eye. Uncle Vernon lept backward in horror and collided painfully with a luggage trolley. "Yes, I'd have to say you do, Dursley."
- Mad-Eye Moody

--
"We had to write about our hero at school, Mr. Mason; I wrote about you."
– Dudley

"Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She – er got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first."
– Oliver Wood

"Half an inch of skin and sinew holding my neck on, Harry! Most people would think that's good as beheaded, but oh, no, it's not enough for Sir Properly Decapitated-Podmore."
– Nearly Headless Nick

"But you're Muggles! We must have a drink! What's that you've got there? Oh, you're changing Muggle money. Molly, look!"
– Arthur Weasley

"Wandering around at midnight, ickle Firsties? Tut, tut, tut. Naughty, naughty, you'll get caughty."
– Peeves

"Let's all throw books at Myrtle, because she can't feel it! Ten points if you can get it though her stomach! Fifty points if it goes through her head! Well, ha, ha, ha! What a lovely game, I don't think!"
- Moaning Myrtle

"Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking! 'He's an internationally famous wizard already!' But when I was twelve, I was just as much of a nobody as you are now. In fact, I'd say I was even more of a nobody! I mean, a few people have heard of you, haven't they? All that business with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named!" He glanced at lighting scar on Harry's forehead. "I know, I know -- it's not quite as good as winning Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award five times in a row, as I have -- but it's a start, Harry, it's a start!"
- Gilderoy Lockhart

--
"I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."
- Lily Evans

"Ah well . . . wand still in your jeans? Both buttocks still on? Okay, let's go. Locomotor Trunk."
- Nymphadora Tonks

"The thing about growing up with Fred and George," said Ginny thoughtfully, "is that you sort of start thinking anything's possible if you've got enough nerve."
- Ginny Weasley

"I am a wizard, not a baboon brandishing a stick."
- Professor Flitwick

"Sometimes you remind me a lot of James. He called it my 'furry little problem' in company. Many people were under the impression that I owned a badly behaved rabbit."
- Remus Lupin

--
"I don't know where you learned about right and wrong, but you seem to have missed a few crucial lessons."
- Mrs. Weasley

"Of course I know Dumbledore, who doesn't know Dumbledore?"
- Mrs. Figg

"Funny way to get wizards' to school, the train. Magic carpets all got punctures, have they?"
- Uncle Vernon

"Tuck your shirt in, scruffy!"
- The Mirror

"Oh, Potter, you rotter, oh, what have you done, You're killing off students, you think it's good fun."
- Peeves

"Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain."
- Mr. Weasley

"Am I a professor? Goodness. I expect I was hopeless, was I?"
- Gilderoy Lockhart

"You're fighting a losing battle there, dear."
- The Mirror

--
“Thing was they bit off a bit more than theycould chew with Gran. Little old witch living alone, they probably thought they didn’t need to send anyone particularly powerful. Anyway,” Neville laughed, “Dawlish is still in St. Mungo’s and Gran’s on the run.”
- Neville Longbottom

"Hello, Minister!" bellowed Percy, sending a neat jinx straight at Thicknesse, who dropped his wand and clawed at the front of his robes, apparently in awful discomfort. "Did I mention I'm resigning?"
- Percy Weasley

Funny Excerpts
"Oh, are you a prefect, Percy? You should have said something, we had no idea."
"Hang on I think I remember him saying something about it, once..."
"Or twice-"
"A minute-"
"All summer-"

"So light a fire!" Harry choked.
"Yes...of course...but there's no wood!" Hermione cried, wringing her hands.
"HAVE YOU GONE MAD!" Ron bellowed. "ARE YOU A WITCH OR NOT!

Lee Jordan was finding it difficult not to take sides.
"So-after that obvious and disgusting bit of cheating-"
"Jordan!" growled Professor McGonagall.
"I mean, after that open and revolting foul-"
"Jordan, I'm warning you-"
"All right, all right. Flint nearly kills the Gryffindor Seeker, which could happen to anyone, I'm sure..."

"They stuff people's heads down the toilet the first day at Stonewall," Dudley told Harry. "Want to come upstairs and practice?"
"No, thanks," said Harry. "The poor toilet's never had anything as horrible as your head down it — it might be sick."

"You haven't got a letter on yours", George observed. "I suppose she Mrs.Weasley thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid - we know we're called Gred and Forge."

"And what if I wave my wand and nothing happens?" Harry
"Throw it away and punch him in the nose," suggested Ron.

"Now, you two - Behave yourselves. If I get one word that you've blown up a toilet or - " Mrs. Weasley
"Blown up a toilet? We've never blown up a toilet."
"Great idea though, thanks, Mum."

Speaking quietly so that no one else would hear, Harry told the other two about Snape's sudden, sinister desire to be a Quidditch referee.
"Don't play," said Hermione at once.
"Say you're ill," said Ron.
"Pretend to break your leg," Hermione suggested.
"Really break your leg," said Ron.

"Your aunt and uncle will be proud, though, won't they?" said Hermione as they got off the train and joined the crowd thronging toward the enchanted barrier. "When they hear what you did this year?"
"Proud?" said Harry. "Are you crazy? All those times I could've died, and I didn't manage it? They'll be furious..."

"You're alive," she said blankly to Harry.
"There's no need to sound so disappointed," he said grimly, wiping flecks of blood and slime off his glasses.
"Oh, well...I'd just been thinking...if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet," said Myrtle, blushing silver.

"A Study of Hogwarts' Prefects and Their Later Careers," Ron read aloud off the back cover. "That sounds fascinating."

They were almost at King's Cross when Harry remembered something.
"Ginny--what did you see Percy doing, that he didn't want you to tell anyone?"
"Oh that," said Ginny, giggling. "Well--Percy's got a girlfriend."
Fred dropped a stack of books on George's head. "What?"
"It's that Ravenclaw prefect, Penelope Clearwater," said Ginny. "That's who he was writing to all last summer. He's been meeting her all over the school in secret. I walked in on them kissing in an empty classroom one day. He was so upest when she was--you know--attacked. You won't tease him, will you?" she added anxiously.
"Wouldn't dream of it," said Fred, who was looking like his birthday had come early.
"Definitely not," said George, sniggering.

Percy had what were possibly the least helpful words of comfort.
"They make a fuss about Hogsmeade, but I assure you, Harry, it's not all it's cracked up to be," he said seriously. "All right, the sweetshop's rather good, and Zonko's Joke Shop's frankly dangerous, and yes, the Shrieking Shack is always worth a visit, but really, Harry, apart from that, you're not missing anything."

(Harry, just being greeted by Percy) "Harry!" said Fred, elbowing Percy out of the way and bowing deeply. "Simply splendid to see you, old boy-"
"Marvelous," said George, pushing Fred aside and seizing Harry's hand in turn. "Absolutely spiffing." Percy scowled.
"That's enough, now," said Mrs. Weasley.
"Mum!" said Fred as though he'd only just spotted her and seized her hand too. "How really corking to see you-"

"How're we getting to King's Cross tomorrow, Dad?" asked Fred as they dug into a sumptuous pudding.
"The Ministry's providing a couple of cars," said Mr. Weasley.
Everyone looked up at him.
"Why?" said Percy curiously.
"It's because of you, Perce," said George seriously. "And there'll be little flags on the hoods, with HB on them-"
"-for Humongous Bighead," said Fred.

"Where is Wood?" said Harry, suddenly realizing he wasn't there.
"Still in the showers," said Fred. "We think he's trying to drown himself."

One of them was a very old wizard who was wearing a long flowery nightgown. The other was clearly a Ministry wizard; he was holding out a pair of pinstriped trousers and almost crying with exasperation.
"Just put them on, Archie, there's a good chap. You can't walk around like that, the Muggle at the gate's already getting suspicious-"
"I bought this in a Muggle shop," said the old wizard stubbornly. "Muggles wear them."
"Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these," said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstriped trousers.
"I'm not putting them on," said old Archie in indignation. "I like a healthy breeze 'round my privates, thanks."

Ron: "Who're you going with then?"
Fred: "Angelina."
Ron: "What? You've already asked her?"
Fred: "Good point. Oi, Angelina! Want to come to the ball with me?"

He therefore had to endure over an hour of Professor Trelawney, who spent half the lesson telling everyone that the position of Mars with relation to Saturn at that moment meant that people born in July were in great danger of sudden, violent deaths. "Well, that's good," said Harry loudly, his temper getting the better of him, "just as long as it's not drawn out. I don't want to suffer."

"Oh Professor look! I think I found an unaspected planet! Oooh, which one's that, Professor?"
"It is Uranus, my dear," said Professor Trelawney peering down a the chart.
"Can I have a look at Uranus too, Lavender?" said Ron.

"I was saying that Saturn was surely in a position of power in the heavens at the moment of your birth...your dark hair...your mean stature...tragic losses so young in life...I think I am right in saying, my dear, that you were born in midwinter?"
"No," said Harry, "I was born in July."
Ron hastily turned his laugh into a hacking cough.

"Who's Kreacher?"
"The house-elf who lives here," said Ron. "Nutter. Never met one like him."
"He is not a nutter," said Hermione.
"His life's ambition is to have his head cut off and stuck up on a plaque like his mother," said Ron. "Is that normal, Hermione?"

(After Lupin goes through a list of all the things they've done to discredit Dumbledore) "But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog Cards," said Bill, grinning.

"Cheers," whispered George, wiping tears of laughter from his face. "Oh, I hope she tries Vanishing them next...they multiply by ten every time you try..."
The fireworks continued to burn and spread all over the school that afternoon. Though they caused plenty of disruption, the other teachers did not seem to mind them very much.
"Dear, dear," said Professor McGonagall sardonically, as one of the dragons soared around her classroom, emitting loud bangs and exhaling flame. "Miss Brown, would you mind running along to the headmistress and informing her that we have an escaped firework in our classroom?"
"Thank you so much, Professor!" said Professor Flitwick in his squeaky little voice. "I could have got rid of the sparklers myself, of course, but I wasn't sure whether I had the authority..."
Beaming, he closed the classroom door in Umbridge's snarling face.

"Did you like question ten, Moony?" asked Sirius as they emerged into the entrance hall.
"Loved it," said Lupin briskly. "'Give five signs that identify the werewolf.' Excellent question."
"D'you think you managed to get all the signs?" said James in tones of mock concern.
"Think I did," said Lupin seriously, as they joined the crowd thronging around the front doors eager to get out into the sunlit grounds. "One: He's sitting on my chair. Two: He's wearing my clothes. Three: His name's Remus Lupin..."

"Do you remember me telling you we are practicing nonverbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me 'sir,' Professor."

"And that's Smith of Hufflepuff with the Quaffle," said a dreamy voice, echoing over the grounds. "He did the commentary last time, of course, and Ginny Weasley flew into him, I think probably on purpose, it looked like it. Smith was being quite rude about Gryffindor, I expect he regrets that now he's playing them - oh, look, he's lost the Quaffle. Ginny took it from him. I do like her, she's very nice..."

Talking about Inferi in DADA... "When we come face-to-face with one down a dark alley, we're going to be having a look to see if it's solid, aren't we? We're not going to be asking, 'Excuse me, are you the imprint of a departed soul?'"

"I don't want to stay here overnight," said Harry angrily, sitting up and throwing back his covers. "I want to find McLaggen and kill him."
"I'm afraid that would come under the heading of 'overexertion,'" said Madam Pomfrey.

quotes:

"God made man, and then he said, "I can do better than that," and made woman." - Adela Rodgers St. Johns

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door,"- Unknown

“When there's a will, I want to be in it.” – Unknown

"the world not made of good people and Death eaters"-Sirus Black.

"The olney bad ideas are the ones never tried"-Puck

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bulch

Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils ... - Louis Hector Berlioz

Men are like parking spots, the good ones are taken and the free ones are handicapped

The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.

Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. - Maryon Pearson

What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
'Hold my purse.'

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. It's just that yours is stupid.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

How Many Roads Must A Man Walk Down Before He Admits Hes lost?

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity. - Albert Einstein

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

"Insurance is like marriage. You pay, pay, pay, and you never get anything back." - Al Bundy

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.

We are the people our parents warned us about.
-- Jimmy Buffett

I adore political parties. They are the only place left to us where people don't talk politics.
-- Oscar Wilde

Facts

Ninty-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this onto your profile

This is really cool!:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae.

The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

If you can read the message above paste it in your profile

Ninety-three percent of the teen population would die if Abercrombie and Fitch said it wasn't cool to breathe. Copy and paste this if you would be part of the seven percent that'd be LAUGHING YOUR BUTT OFF!

thats from curlscats profile read it Only AFTER u have used the restroom

Random Junk:

THINGS MY MOTHER TAUGHT ME:

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of
next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to
the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident ."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me CONTORTIONISM
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me: ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me: RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me: MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that
way."

19. My mother taught me: ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me: HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me: HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22.My Mother taught me: Genetics
"I swear you're just like your father."

23. My Mother taught me about my Roots
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My Mother taught me Wisdom
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25. My mother taught me about Justice
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you"

America's Intelligence:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
(And that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
(But it's 'just' a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
(Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
(Are you sure?)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
(But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
(We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
(One would hope!)

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning: keep out of children.
(hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
(As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
(Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
(But no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
(Somebody got paid big bucks to write this one...)

On a Swedish chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.
(Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
(Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Less than 1 percent of female teenagers don't use make-up. Are you one of those who don't? BE PROUD AND GLUE THIS THING IN YOUR PROFILE!

If, with no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you get excited over books, then copy this into your profile.

If you force your friends to read books you like, then copy and paste this.

If you consider yourself a nerd then copy and paste this into your profile. NERDS RULE!!

Most teenage girls spend half an hour on their hair every day. If you send half an hour to get dressed, fix your hair, and brush your teeth, then copy this into your profile.

If you walk into walls all the time, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a good vocabulary, but cannot spell to save your life, then copy and paste this.

If you easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile.

IF YOU'VE EVER LEAPED DOWN THE HALLWAY OF A HOTEL AND TURNED THE CORNER AND SAW PEOPLE STARING AT YOU COPY AND PASTE THIS IN YOUR PROFILE.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't
remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever tried to put your hair behind your ears and ended up poking yourself in the eye, copy this into your profile

If you've ever created an awkward silence, copy and paste this to your profile

If you frequently have conversations with yourself and/or fictional characters from your favorite books, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever totally screwed something up so bad it isn't even funny, copy this onto your profile

Can you raed tihs? Olny srmat poelpe can. I cdnuol't blveiee taht I cluod aulactly uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rsceearch at Cmabridge Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. If you can raed tihs, cpoy and ptsae tihs itno yuor pofirle!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuudge! If yo

If you have ever walked into a door, copy and paste this into your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy this onto your profile.

If you like being utterly random copy and paste this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you think Michael Phelps is part dolphin, copy this onto your profile

I like cheese. If two gooses are geese, then why aren't two moose meese? Milk tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random!

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you do or say a totally random thing, like "do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or start having a thumbwar with yourself (I find that I am a very tough opponent). So if you're crazy, copy this onto your profile. I know I'm crazy!

(\)_(/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny.-duh
(")_(") Copy and paste Bunny into your profile to help him gain world domination.

If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile.

If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have more than 100 books in your room, copy this into your profile.-and in the attic and in my sisters room and in my locker and...

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are bored copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser.

Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on.

Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself.

Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do.

Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least).

Crazy is when you act completly well crazy and make a total fool of yourself and not even care.

Crazy is when you dedicate your entire being(every cell in your body) to Twilight, Maximum Ride, and fanfiction.

Crazy is when you go into build-a-bear workshop and walk up to little kids saying "That's my favorite bear" in a creepy voice and then run like heck when their soccer-moms glare at you.

Crazy is when you get jacked up on sugar on your school fieldtrip to bush gardens, laugh for two hours striaght WHILE riding rollercaosters, then still laugh after you get slapped by your freinds, and they pour a cold water on you, and you just stop suddenly, and when they asked why you laughed you say " I felt like it."

Crazy is when you get sugar high and jump on your trampoline yelling "Japeth" because the name intrigues you, while your rellies are there.

Crazy is when you laugh so hard that Fanta comes out your nose and then you scream "THE PAIN! THE PAIN OF IT ALL!"

Crazy is when you start dancing at a wedding for no reason at all and then by the time you stopped EVERYONE is staring at you.

Crazy is when at 1:30 am you are still awake and you're having a pillow fight and giving the other girls with death threats if they don't go SLEEP!

Crazy is when you treat a 50 pound bag of sand meant for your two year old cousins sand box like a baby

Crazy is when you bow to evreyone you meet somtimes just cause you feel like it.mine

If you're crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list!

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile

If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile

If you have ever fallen UP the stairs, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you know someone who should get whacked in the head with a shovel for something they've done, copy and paste this onto your profile

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever missed your mouth when trying to take a sip of water, copy and paste this into your profile

wowlookatthisimtypingthisveryoddlinebreakifyoucanreaditcopyandpasteyousmartperson

If you have embarassing memories that make you want to smack yourself copy this into your profile

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have a little voice inside your head that talks to you constantly and won't shut up, copy and paste this into your profile

If you wish more than anything that the Harry Potter world was real, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile

If you're against animal cruelty, copy and paste

If you've made it this far into my profile without dieing yet, copy and post this to yours

If you ever wished you could live in a story, copy and paste this to your profile

u are really random put this on your profile

If you have read or watched so many things that nothing surprises you anymore, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have ever wondered why someone decided to milk a cow, copy/paste this into your profile

If you're one of those people who get excited when you just see two reveiws, paste this in your profileIf you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile.

REMEMBER: A good friend gives you bail money when you're in jail - a best friend will be sitting next to you and saying "Man, that was fun!"

FUN

A good friend will wipe your tears when you get rejected, but a best friend will prank call the boy and say, "You will die in seven days!"

"Real artificial bacon bits" Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go out and buy myself some real-fake bacon bits. Not just fake-fake, real-fake

Christmas lights: To be used for indoor or outdoor use only (as opposed to...?)

Nerds are cool. Nerds are smart. Nerds will one day rule the universe. If you're a nerd and proud of it, copy this into your profile.

If you think that Writer's Block blows (sucks), copy and paste this into your profile.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know ands wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile.-your is possesive you're is you are as in you are evil .

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile

If you've ever forgotten the lyrics to a song that 3-year-olds sing, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.or run them over a truck

If you dislike people who dislike people who aren't pretty, copy this into your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have a very wide range of interests, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever got hit in the face with a soccerball, football, etc., cop, paste this onto your profile,If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

Life isn't passing me by, it's trying to run me over.

You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I don't obsess! I think intensely.

They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

I'm not paranoid... WHICH ONE OF MY ENEMIES TOLD YOU THIS?!

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

If you have ever read past two in the morning, copy this onto your profile

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Lists:

Things I'm not allowed to do in Ferryport landing.

1. I will not tell Sabrina that the president of the United States is an Everafter

2. I will not quote from Monty Python and the Holy Grail whenever I see King Arthur

3. It is not polite to ask Jake if he likes “older women”

4. I am not supposed to try and convince Daphne that Harry Potter is real

5. Mr. Canis is not a werewolf, and I should not compare him to Remus Lupin

6. Jokes about police officers being pigs aren’t really funny

7. I will not, as a human, pretend to be a mime trapped inside a box while standing next to the magical barrier

8. Saying “I don’t believe in fairies” will not make Puck or his minions die

9. I will not constantly mention living "happily ever after”

10. I will not talk about finding my Prince Charming, especially if said prince is within earshot

11. I will not throw beans on the ground and pretend that they were magic ones

12. I will not ask people to see their driver’s licenses

13. Nottingham will not be amused if I forge a love letter from him to Heart

14. I will not sing songs from the movie Men in Tights whenever I see Robin Hood or his men

15. I will not steal from Baba Yaga and blame it on somebody else

16. I will not offer any “anti-aging” products to Everafters

17. It is not a good idea to cover walls with red handprints, even as a joke

18. I will not brag about all the places I’ve been recently

19. Pretending to discover magical items is not ok

20. I will not allow Rumpelstiltzkin to adopt children, nor will I hire him as a babysitter

21. I will not start rhyming random words to annoy Mirror

22. I will not give Elvis sausage, no matter what happens

23. I will not attempt a brain/heart transplant on the Scarecrow/Tin Man

24. I will not refer to Everafters by their real names in front of other people

25. I will not ask for autographs

26. I will not ask Everafters to refer me to their plastic surgeons

27. I am not allowed to negotiate a peace treaty with the Scarlet Hand

28. I will not use Mirror to do my hair and make-up in the morning

29. I will not ask known Scarlet Hand members to join a new organization called "The Blue Foot".

Fun things to do at WalMart!! :)

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

16. Pass out bananas to random people and snicker loudly when they take one.

17. Buy 350 cans of tuna and scream "THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT!! YOU HAVE TO PUT SOME BACK!!" when the cashier tells you the price.

18. Walk around looking confused in the CD section and ask people where you can find the CDs.

19. Start a fish-stick fight.

20. Walk up to random people, give them bear hugs, and say very loudly that you missed them and they never really did get that dandruf shampoo you recommended.

21. Jump in a cart and have a friend push you while you scream "The Germans are coming!"

22. Attempt to fly off a high shelf.

23. Run up to an employee and ask "Do you like me?" If they say no, yell out "You broke my heart, you evil monster! I'm telling the manager!" and start throwing canned tomatoes at them. If they say yes just to get you away, pat their shoulder, and say "What a shame because that girl over there" point to a random person "was just about to ask you to dinner."

24. Throw confetti on random people walking into the store.

25. Whisper "I know your 'little' secret" to people in the checkout lines.

26. Stand inside the freezer in the frozen food section.

27. Walk up to employees and whisper "I saw dead people...they want me to take you away...to aisle eight..."

28. Ask the clerk to make a page saying "If there is an Edward in the store, Bella is looking for you at the main info desk". (this works best if you love Twilight, and don't try with Maximum Ride)

29. See how many cans of frosting you can open and thoroughly lick without getting caught.

30. Go to a person with a shopping cart full of merchandise and demand a ride in the basket.

31. Practice your juggling with a few Grade-A eggs.

32. Squeeze the cream-filled doughnuts.

33. Walk into the baby clothes section, pick up a pink baby dress, then throw it down and run away screaming that the pink bunnies of doom came back.

34. Bow to the display of T.Vs in the electronics section.

35. See if you can move the bottom can from the gigantic canned beet pyramid

71. Hit on the elderly.

72. Hit on 5 year olds.

More things to do at Wal-mart- might be repets

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look"

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15.Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, Go!"

16. When you are at the cash paying, ask: "Can I have fries with that?"

someone I know did this, go to the loud intercom and say "half of on aisle 4"

more random copy and paste stuff:

Why I got expelled from Hogwarts

1) The Giant Squid is not an appropiate date to the Yule Ball

2) I am not allowed to sing, "We're Off to See the Wizard" while skipping off to the Headmaster's office

3) I am not allowed to take out a life insureance pollicy on Harry Potter

4) I am not allowed to ask Dumbledore to show you the pointy hat trick

5) I am not allowed to give Remus Lupin a flea collar

6) I am not allowed to bring a Magic 8 Ball to Divination

7) I am not allowed to say that Seamus Finnegan is "after my lucky charms"

8) I am not allowde to start a betting pool on this years Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. It's taste-less, tacky, and not a good money-making strategy.

9) I am not allowed to joke about Remus' "time of the month"

10) I am not allowed to make light saber sounds with my wand

11) I am not allowed to give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals

12) I am not to refer to the Accio charm as "The Force"

14) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot

15) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it

16) I will not lock the Slytherin's and Gryffindor's in a room togther and bet on which House will come out alive

17) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Kinghts of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast

18) I am not allowed to declare an offical "Hug A Slytherin Day"

19) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways

20) It is not nessisary to yell, "BURN!" Whenever Snape takes points away from Gryffindor

21) I will not say the phrase, "Get a Life" to Voldemort

22) First years are not to be fed to Fluffy

23) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling

26) It is not nessicary to yell, "BAM" every time I Apparate

27) I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to potrol the hallways

28) I will not poke Hufflepuff's with spoons, nor shall I insist that their color's indicate that they're "covered in bee's"

29) "I've heard every joke possible about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge

32) If a class-mate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that and draw a Dark Mark on their arm

33) House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers

34) I will not start every potion's class by asking Snape if the poition is acceptable as Body Lotion

35) I will not call the Weasly twins, "bookends"

36) I will not call the Patil twins, "bookends"

37) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher Kenny, even if he is wearnig an orange anorak

38) I will not call the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher DADA, even though it is the abbrieviation for his/her class.

45) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween

46) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously

47) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions

48) I am not the King of the Potato Poeple and I do not have a flying carpet

49) "To conqur the Earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not a career choice

-read

Other:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep-- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

I'm the kind of girl who will burst our laughing in the middle of a dead silence because of something that happened yesterday.

When I was younger, my parents encouraged me to walk and talk. Now, all they want me to do is sit down and shut up!

Don't think of your self as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

I called your boyfriend gay, and he hit me with his purse.

A stranger stabs you in the front; a friend stabs you in the back; a boyfriend stabs you in the heart, but best friends only poke each other with straws.

"We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do."

I used up all my sick days so I called in dead.

Illegal Aliens Welcome!

A good friend will help you find your prince, a best friend will kidnapp him and drag him to you.

I WANT A COKE A FRY AND A CHEESEBURGER!!

The nerds will someday get revenge!

Wal Mart is great, but not for clothes

If you've had at least two friends move away from you...copy and paste this onto your profile.

IF YOU THINK DORA IS EVIL AND A MURDERER, PASTE THIS ON TO YOUR PROFILE.

IF YOU THINK YO GABBA GABBA IS ONE OF THE MOST STUPIDEST SHOW IN THE HISTORY OF STUPID SHOWS,PASTE THIS ON TO YOUR PROFILE.

Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
-- Claudette Colbert

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
-- Flip Wilson

In Mexico an air conditioner is called a politician because it makes a lot of noise but doesn't work very well.
-- Len Deighton