FAKE ASS FRIENDS/REAL FRIENDS

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food. REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs. REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong. REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry. REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back. REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you. REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door. REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile. REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough. REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you. REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world. REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours. REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this

REAL FRIENDS: Will repost it

If you ever

If you have ever dreamed or imagined being a vampire, put this in your profile

Weird is good. Strange is bad. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile

If you think being weird is cooler than being cool. Copy & Paste this into ur profile

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or pulled the handle on a door that said push, copy this in your profile.

If you have ever fell UP the stairs, copy and paste this in your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile.

A girl and a guy were speeding, on a motorcycle, over 90 mph on the road...

Girl: Slow down. I'm scared

Guy: No, this is fun.

Girl: No, it's not. Please, you're really scaring me!

Guy: Then tell me you love me.

Girl: Fine, I love you. Slow down!

Guy: Now give me a big hug.Girl hugs him

Guy: Can you take my helmet off & put it on yourself? It's bugging me.

(In the paper the next day)

A motorcycle crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it, but only one survived.

The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized that his brakes went out, but he didn't want to let the girl know. Instead, he had her say she loved him & felt her hug one last time, then had her wear his helmet so that she would live even though it meant that he would die

GIRL COMEBACKS!!

Boy Girl

"Where have you been all my life?" "Running away from you."

"Are you an angel from heaven?" "No, I'm a vampire from hell."

"Your place or mine?" "Both, you go to yours, I go to mine."

"Your feisty, I like that." "Your smelly, go away."

"My dad owns the Café. I could get us really good seats." "My dad owns that hospital, and that's where you'll be if you keep hitting on me."

"I have magic fingers. And they love to give massages." "I have a high kick. And they love to land on..."

"Haven't I seen you someplace before?" "Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore."

"So, what do you do for a living?" "I'm a female impersonator."

"Hey baby, what's your sign?" "Do not enter"

"How do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

"Your body is like a temple." "Sorry, there are no services today."

"I would go to the end of the world for you." "But would you stay there?"

"If I could see you naked, I'd die happy." "If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."

"Haven't we met before?" "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

"So, wanna go back to my place ?" "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

"I'd like to call you. What's your number?" "It's in the phone book." "But I don't know your name." "That's in the phone book too."

"Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason" "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

"I'm here to fulfill your every sexual fantasy." "You mean you've got both a donkey and a Great Dane?"

"I know how to please a woman." "Then please leave me alone."

"I want to give myself to you." "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

"I can tell that you want me." "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."

"Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots?" "Sorry, I don't date outside my species.."

"I'd go through anything for you." "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

"How did you get so beautiful?" "I don't know, I must have gotten your share too."

"What's mine is yours, babe." "Woah, even the bank account? Thanks!"

WAYS TO KNOW UR WAY TOO OBESSED WITH VAMPIRE ACADEMY

1. You can barely read about Dimitri without screaming in pleasure

2. You find yourself narating your life, like Rose does

3. When in difficult situations, you find yourself thinking 'what would Rose do?'

4. When things get rough, you say 'at least i'm not being chased my vampires. but that would be awesome!'

5. You yell at the book and talk to the characters

6. you and ur friends have made up a group costume for the movie premiere already

7. Your best friend called you at like 10 at night so you could see her imaginary cast

8. and when she did, you spent like an hour insulting them and freaking out

9. When you went to the Spirit Bound party, you screamed so much that a guy fell down, scared to death

10. You were disappointed in Spirit Bound, but loved it anyway

11. But your sad because now all you have to look foward to are the movies

12. YOU ARE PISSED BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO WAIT FOR LAST SACRIFICE

13. You always relate songs to Vampire Academy

14. You relate real life situations to Vampire Academy

15. You have your own cast for Vampire Academy, even though there is none yet

16. You watch trailers, even though there is no official one yet...fanmades are always better...and scream and scream everytime you read the lust charm part and no one can stop you

My prince doesn't wear shiny armour.

My prince doesn't sparkle either.

My prince is death in a cowboy duster. ;)

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Reasons why I Love Dimitri Belikov:

1)who doesn't love a sexy Russian?

2)He didn't impregnate his girlfriend (cough cough you shouldn't have done that Edward!!)

3)He's wonderful to imagine talking or being when no one is watching

4)Dimitri can kick ass (yes i'm pointing at you Adrian)

5)He makes you love Russia so much that if you lived in the US in 1950's you would get shunned

6)Dimitri makes us all want to believe that Vampires are real

7)Dimitri Makes me believe in God (Russian God that is)

8)He's not a stalker like Edward and doesn't like watching people sleep when they don't know that they are there.

9)He's a ninja!

10)He makes you wonder what kind of dirty secrets would he have.

11)He makes you want to check out every single book that your library has about western novels.

12)He's HOT!

post anyof them if you like or agree with them... XD