-- WARNING!!! I HAVE A TENDENCY TO KILL MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS IN MY FANFICTION'S--

--WARNING!!! (No.2) I DON'T PUT DISCLAIMERS IN MY STORIES! If you're to stupid to figure out I don't own any anime, then stop reading--

My views on certain fan fiction topics/themes/genres:

Yaoi: Well, DUH, it's obvious I'm a yaoi fan. I just don't care enough for most female characters to want to read about them. Some people think that yaoi fans are homosexuals because it's about same-sex relationships. If that were true, then let me ask you this: wouldn't I, a woman, be interested in girl/girl pairings if I were gay? I always see it that women who like yaoi are "straighter" than women who like hetero pairings because we are so focused on the guys we don't even want another woman in the scene. Think about that...

The way I see it, if guys can get turned on by the sight of two girls making out, I don't see why women can't be interested in guy/guy fics. Hey, at least some of these stories have actual PLOTS, unlike late night lesbian porn that somehow always involve two women doing household chores in thongs and heels. To those who simply don't like the idea of two guys being together, fine with me. Everyone has their own taste. Feel free to hate yaoi from the bottom of your heart. Just keep in mind that I don't tolerate people who complain about the fact that there is yaoi in others fics.

Mary-Sue: Ah, the dreaded Mary-Sue. The curse of rookie writers (and a few downright stubborn veterans who remain hopeful) who want their OC to be well loved by the readers and so make her out to be someone who can do no wrong. The girl who can do it all: sing, cook, tap dance, save kittens stuck in rain pipes, replace car batteries, help build houses for homeless people in third world countries; all without even breaking a sweat or looking nothing short of lovely. Admit it, we all hate Mary-Sues. I'm no exception.

OC's: Despite what many think, there is a difference between OC's and Mary-Sues. Granted, all Mary-Sues are OC's, but not all OC's are Mary-Sues. Some OC's are well written, NORMAL characters. Still, I don't like reading these fics because they usually revolve around the OC. Call me crazy, but isn't fan fiction supposed to revolve around the actual characters in the show? Yes, you're OC isn't perfect like the hated Mary-Sue. Yes, she is a really nice person. But, quite frankly, I don't give a damn about some new character who doesn't even belong in the series, especially not when the fanfic becomes the OC's story. I don't mind OC's in a story, but I hate it when all the attention is focused on them. Why not go and post those stories on Fictionpress.net? You can add OC's if you want but don't make them the main character in the story.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...
[X]You talk to yourself a lot.
[X]You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.
[X]When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.
[ ]After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs..."
[X]You live off of sugar and caffeine
[X]People think you're insane.
[X]You'll check your e-mail every day of the week one week, and then disappear off the face of the earth the next.
[X]You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
[ ]When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.
[ ]No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.
[ ]The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.
[ ]Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.
[X]People think you have A.D.D.
[X]You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.
[X]You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.
[X]You start thinking about making lists like this and start laughing for no "apparent" reason
[X]Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.
[X]And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

How You Know You’re Addicted to Yaoi/Slash:
[X]You start mentally pairing up random guys on the street.
[X]You wish you had gay friends just so you could perv on them kissing their boyfriends.
[X]You don’t remember the last time you read a heterosexual fanfiction.
[ ]You have developed a sexual fetish for handcuffs, leather and BDSM.
[ ]If you are a heterosexual girl, you keep trying to seme your boyfriend, despite the fact that you don’t have the necessary parts.
[X]You suddenly become interested in gay rights, thinking this will increase your opportunities for voyeuristic activities.
[X]You try to get your friends into it, simply so you can talk to them about it without them getting that bored look on their face.
[X]You keep lying about the number of hours you spend each day on the computer reading slash fanfiction, watching yaoi anime etc.
[X]The most exciting moment of your life so far was when you discovered hentai manga.
[ ]You celebrate turning 18 not because you can watch R movies, but because you’re old enough to watch movies with explicit gay sex scenes.
[X]It’s the only aphrodisiac you need.
[ ]When your boyfriend tells you he’s gay and has been dating another man, you immediately ask if you can join in.
[ ]Your gay son wishes he had a normal, homophobic mother who didn't ask him questions about his latest sexual exploits.

--10 Commandments of a Teenager--
1. Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait that long)
2. Thou shall not do drugs. (alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper)
3. Thou shall not steal from K-mart. (Walmart has a bigger selection)
4. Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. (destruction has a bigger effect, I can tell you all about this)
5. Thou shall not steal from your parents. (everyone knows grandma has more money)
6. Thou shall not get into fights. (Can't fight anyhow...just start them)
7. Thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off)
8. Thou shall not strip in class. (Hooters pays more.)
9. Thou shall not think about having sex. (like Nike says, "Just do it.")
10. Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (just leave em' in the middle)

Roses are brown
Violets are brown
God dammit someone shit in the garden again

Me: YOU GAVE ME APHRODISIAC?!
Caitlin (friend): Yup! And I mixed in some other drugs as well!
Me: What drugs…?
Caitlin (friend): No idea. But I bet it'll be fun! Especially when you're boyfriend gets here
Me: But I broke up with him last week!
Caitlin (friend): Oops...

:This sincerely did happen to me. My friend gave me a lollipop dipped in aphrodisiac and I didn't know until she told me, I though it just tasted a little weird. Well, it didn't work quite like it was supposed to, it just made me really hungry. This is how we found out that aphrodisiac (and what ever other drugs she put in the damn thing) don't work on me.:

Sometimes I feel like I'm dying of over yaoi exposure... this is one of those days.

Maybe I shouldn't have drove home from the bar... especially since I walked there...

If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot!

I love competing in sporting events. But I think I have a problem with that silver medal. You win the gold, you feel good; you win the bronze, you think "Well, at least I got something." But when you win the silver its like "Congratulations! You ALMOST won!"

Don't play stupid with me. I'm better at it.
I know I'm not perfect, but I'm so close it scares me!
No ones perfect. Well... there was this one guy.. But we killed him.
I'm so great. I'm jealous of myself
I am not anti-social.. I just don't like you.
I think...therefore I am dangerous.
I'm tough, ambitious and know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
I think of lying as creative "truth-making".
It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
I'm not arrogant. Arrogance is a flaw. I have no flaws.
Smile -- it confuses the enemy
I'm not bossy, I just have better ideas
Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.
Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Jerks 'R' Us

Kaito: All right, men! Our next target is this man, Kamui Gakupo. He is commandor of Army Fangirl-- Unit Japan. Also a samuri, a rumored Vampire, and our newest sources say he has obtained a big, black dragon.
What is our position, Commandor Len?
Len: We're screwed...
Kaito: Well, what about you, Rin?
Rin: Im not facing him!
Kaito: Well, alright. We still have our secret weapon...Luka!
Random officer: Um...Luka has joined Gakupo...
Kaito: FUCK IT.

Frua: Here you go kids, the world is a dangeruos place with perverts like Ayanami This pepper spray works quite well, I just tested them *hands can's to Mikage and Hakuren*
Teito: FRUA WHY IS THERE SOMEONE SCREAMING ON THE FRONT PORCH!!!

Me: *walks into lampost* OW!!!
Caitlin: The hell were you trying to do?!
Me: Last I remember, walking. Y'know walking? That thing you do with your feet? First, you lift your right foot, put it down. Then, you lift your left foot, put it down.
Caitlin: Yeah, but why'd you keep going?
Me: I didn't know I was supposed to stop.
Caitlin: Well, now you do.
Me: Big help.

I love people!!
Until someone piss me off.
If this happens, I shall kill them with fire kindness!!

"HENROVERNIA!!" Not a real word I just randomly made it up and I LOVE IT

"I'm not asleep, get out, you're too hot and melting my ice-cream," I muttered trying to protect my waffle.

Copy and redo this yourself to see who you are more like

Pein/Pain - Nagato
] -I am the leader/boss of a group, club, friends etc.
[X] -I have a piercing/s.
[X] - My natural hair color is red, ginger or auburn.
[ ] -My eyes are grey/gray.
[X] -My closest friend is a girl.
[X] - I'm a very secretive person.
[ ] - I like it when it rains.
[Pein/Pain - Nagato Score: 4 ]

Konan
[ ] - Most of my friends are guys.
[ ] - Origami RULES!
[ ] - I know how to make at least over 5 different origami objects.
[ ] - I love flowers!
[ ] - Your closest friend is a guy.
[X] - I don't like having my photo taken.
[ ] - I don't like water. Swimming etc.
[Konan Score: 1 ]

Itachi Uchiha
[ ] - My younger sibling/s bothers me a lot.
[X] -Many people find me attractive.
[X] - I'm quiet and very mature for my age. (well just the mature part)
[ ] - I don't actually like fighting though I can fight.
[X] - I don't care what you think, Kisame is cool.
[X] - I'm the top of my class. Intelligence. (only in some)
[ ] - My natural hair color is black.
[Itachi Uchiha Score: 4 ]

Kisame Hoshigaki
[X] - Sharks are AWESOME!
[X] - I like gore :3
[X] - I dislike my own appearance.
[X] - Underwater in the ocean is a beautiful scenery.
[X] - Once someone gets to know me, I'm a pretty nice person.
[ ] - I'm the tallest of my friends who are the same gender.
[X] - I like water sports.
[Kisame Hoshigaki Score: 6 ]

Sasori
[X] - I look young for my age.
[ ] - Puppets are fascinating...
[X] - I'm very impatient.
[X] - I hate/dislike Sakura Haruno.
[X] - My Grandma annoys me.
[ ] - I'm the smallest of my friends.
[X] - Loud noises/people annoy me.
[Sasori Score: 5 ]

Deidara
[X] - I'm an artist.
[X] - I like and appreciate art.
[ ] - My natural hair colour is blonde/dirty blonde.
[ ] - I have blue eyes.
[ ] - I'm the youngest in my group of friends.
[ ] - I hate Tobi.
[X] - I have a 'friend' who follows and annoys me. (who doesn't?)
[Deidara Score: 3 ]

Kakuzua

[X] - I'm a saver, not a spender. (depends)
[ ] - My eyes are either green or hazel
[X] - I have had stitches.
[ ] - I hate Hidan.
[X] - Younger people tend to tick me off
[ ] - I am the oldest in my group of friends.
[ ] - My skin is dark or tanned
[Kakuzu Score: 3 ]

Hidan
[X] - I have a cussing/swearing problem. (It's not a problem X3)
[ ] - I hate Kakuza.
[X] - I hate so many people and hate them so much, that I probably have my own hit-list.
[ ] - I am religious.
[X] - I am very strong-willed. (kinda depends too o.o)
[ ] - I have cut myself on purpose before.
[X] - I'm very prone to accidents. (Inanimate objects hate me)
[Hidan Score: 4 ]

Zetsu
[X] - I have a split personality. Two sides. (Bipolar, nearly the same thing)
[X] - Nature is AWESOME!
[X] - I'm usually alone.
[X] - I don't mind the company of others. (as long as I like them)
[ ] - I don't have many friends. (I'm kinda antisocial to people I don't know, but among my friends and family I'm outgoing XD)
[X] - Tobi is not that bad. (in fact, he ROCKS)
] - I WON'T eat the veggies! Meat all the way, man!
[Zetsu Score: 5]

Tobi
[X] - I'm always hyperactive. (once again, bipolar)
[X] - I have a particular person who I like to pester. (again, who doesn't?!)
[X] - People often mistake me for someone else or say I look like someone.
[ ] - I LOVE the color orange.
[ ] - I'm rarely sad and always optimistic.
[X] - TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! :D (until he goes into Madara mode o.o then he becomes the S-Class criminal he is)
[Tobi Score: 4 ]

Orochimaru
[ ] - I'm attracted to younger people.
[ ] - I have a very pale skin color.
[X] - Snakes are AWESOME!
[ ] - I love/like Sasuke Uchiha. (I like Gaara and Neji more than him...and the rest of the Akatsuki of course :3, except Orochimaru and Team Hebi o.o)
[ ] - Micheal Jackson is AWESOME!
[ ] - I'm very motivated, nothing will stop me from reaching my goals. (I'm lazy like Shikamaru :3, so nope XD)
[X] - People think I'm twisted or insane.
[Orochimaru Score: 2]

Girls
are like
apples on trees.
The best ones are
at the top of the tree.
The boys don't want to reach
for the good ones because they
are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
something is wrong with them, when in
reality, they're amazing. They just
have to wait for the right boy to
come along, the one who's
brave enough to
climb all
the way
to the top
of the tree

End Racism!!!!

The white man said, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turned around and stood up.
He then said: "Listen sir...when I was born I was BLACK, When I grew up I was BLACK, When I'm sick I'm BLACK, When I go in the sun I'm BLACK, When I'm cold I'm BLACK, When I die I'll be BLACK. But you sir, When you're born you're PINK, When you grow up you're WHITE, When you're sick, you're GREEN, When you go in the sun you turn RED, When you're cold you turn BLUE, And when you die you turn PURPLE. And you have the nerve to call me colored?"
The black man then sat back down and the white man walked away...

Post this on your profile if you hate racism

Your a book-aholic if... (or in my case manga... meh)

[ ]You can randomly open to a page and know exactly what's going on.
[X]Read the book until 4 A.M., then get back up at 7 to continue reading. (or just not go to bed)
[X]You write fanfictions about the book.
[X]You try to get all of your friends (and everyone else in the entire world) to read it.
[X]Everything reminds you of the book.
[X]You quote random lines all the time.
[ ]You try to do things that the characters do, even though you know you can't.
[ ]You've gotten incredibly bored in class, and debated on doing something your favorite character can do to escape the class
[X]You've read a book more than five times.
[X]You've read a book with 400 pages in less than two days.
[X]You've planned and prepared a siege on a writer's house because he/she killed a character you like. (Oda! How dare you kill Ace?!)
[X]You hate it when someone calls your favorite character fictional (I will make them real damnit!!!)
[ ]You blatantly deny it when someone calls a character fictional.
[X]You've found yourself trying to impersonate a character.
[X]Your idol is a character from a book.

Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." Too late!

Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." As night follows day . . .

Packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." But wouldn't this save me more time?

Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.

Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." One would hope.

Most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." As opposed to what?

Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." I gotta admit, I'm curious.

Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." Talk about a news flash.

Artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon

The sad thing is there are people out there who make this stuff necessary.

He Said-She said!

He said . . . I don’t know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.
She said . . . You wear pants don’t you?

He said . . ….. Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!

He said . … What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said . …..Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said . . ….. Why don’t you tell me when you have an orgasm?
She said . . .. I would but you’re never there.

He said . ….. Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
She said . . They don’t have time

He said . . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
She said . . We don’t know; it has never happened.

He said . . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
She said …… . . They already have boyfriends.

He said…What do you call a women who knows where her husband is every night?
She said . . . A widow.

He said . .. . Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said . . . Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!
Please select from the following options menu:

"I called your boyfriend gay and he slapped me with his purse."

"The trouble with real life is that there's no background music."

"I have not lost my mind; it's backed up on a disk somewhere."

"If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried."

"Computers make very accurate mistakes. (22=3 Calculated in 0.000000001 seconds)"

" If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?"

"OK, I'm weird! But I'm saving up to become eccentric."

"I tend to think in simple, clear terms that are wrong."

"Beware of the letter "G." It is the end of everything."

"I do visit reality, although it's on a tourist visa."

"Flying is not inherently dangerous; crashing is."

"Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried to slam a revolving door..."
"Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door."

"Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark."

"He learned what every man must learn...never insult a girl's looks, especially if said girl can kick your ass"

"I'm not awesome, you just suck."

"People say violence isn't the answer. Well, they're right. Violence is the question. The answer is 'HELL YES'."

"I never said I was normal... you just presumed I was."

"Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most."

"Last night, I lay in bed looking up at the stars, and thought to myself, 'Where the heck is the ceiling?' "

"Don't knock on Death's door; ring the bell and run- he hates that"

"When life gives you lemons, make apple juice, then sit back and enjoy while others try to figure out how you did it!"

"Don't follow in my footsteps, I walk into walls!"

"Even a stopped clock is right twice a day."

"Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there's footprints on the moon."

"There are 1000 ways I could kill you, and 941 of them hurt."
"So what do the other 59 of them do? Tickle?"

"They locked you in?"
"No, I locked THEM out! Why must you always see these things backwards?"

"I'm not good at empathy, will you settle for sarcasm?"

"I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works."

"I respect your opinion, I just think it's stupid."

"It's true, blonds do have more fun. But brunets remember it in the morning."

"Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway."

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."

"I didn't lie! I just created fiction with my mouth! "

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

Just say no to drugs. Because if your drugs are talking to you, you've probably had too many.

Sanity? I never had such a useless thing to begin with!

That which does not kill me had better run pretty damn fast

A wise man once said, "Ask a girl."

When in doubt, push random buttons!

You wanna know why God created man before woman? Every masterpiece needs a rough draft!

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it

An idiot is a 44th floor window washer who steps back to admire his work

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

Why be difficult, when with just a little bit of effort, you can be impossible?

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

A clear conscience is usually a sign of memory loss.

I'm not as dumb as you look

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

It's always darkest before dawn...so if you're gonna steal the neighbors newspaper, that's the time to do it.

It takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown...and fewer still to ignore someone completely.

believe no problem is so large or so difficult that it can't be blamed on someone else.

It takes a big man to cry...but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

Doors are on a house so you don't have to go through the windows.

No one ever says "it's only a game" if their team is winning.

I never repeat myself, so pay close attention to me the first time, cause I never repeat myself.

Slow and steady gets you trampled by the other guys.

When opportunity knocks, shoot first and ask questions later.

When all else fails, use duct tape.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow, isn't looking good either.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Someday we'll look back on all this and plow into a parked car.

My Reality Check bounced.

On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing

I say FUCK too much.

Sometimes it’s best not to question your friend; just help ‘em dump the body bag into the river.

You’ll always be my friend . . . you know too much!

Nope, I can’t go to hell. Satan still has that restraining order against me.

Control your jealousy bitch because I can’t control my temper.

I’m not mean, I just say what most of people keep in their heads.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?"

FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..."

FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?"

FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you.

FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!"

FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.

FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run - beep - run!"

FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.

FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!"

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS:Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS:Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

Friends: Bring you a tissue to dry your tears.
Best Friends: Have a shovel ready to bury the asshole who did this to you.

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college.
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Will help me find my way when I'm lost
BEST FRIENDS: Will be the one messing with my compass, stealing my map and giving me bad directions

FRIENDS: Will help me learn to drive
BEST FRIENDS: Will help me roll the car into the lake so I can collect insurance

FRIENDS: Will watch my pets when I go away
BEST FRIENDS: Won't let me go away

FRIENDS: Will help me up when I fall down
BEST FRIENDS: Will point and laugh because she tripped me

FRIENDS: Will go to a concert with me
BEST FRIENDS: Will kidnap the band with me

FRIENDS: Ask me for my number
BEST FRIENDS: Ask me for her number

FRIENDS: Hide me from the cops
BEST FRIENDS: are probably the reason they're after me in the first place

FRIENDS: let me make an idiot of myself in public
BEST FRIENDS: are up there with me making an idiot out of themselves too.

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN! We fucked up!" or, "LET'S DO IT AGAIN NEXT WEEK!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through highschool/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Bitch, drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit!

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: Hey baby, what's your sign?
Woman: Do not enter

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

There is a "lie" in believe, "over" in lover, "end" in friend, and an "if" in life, there's no I in TEAM but there is an M and a E. And after Monday and Tuesday even the calendar says W.T.F.

--How Light could have gotten L's name--
Light: Me llamo es Light. Y tu? (My name is Light. And you?)
L: ... *spanish seriously* Me llamo es L. (My name is L)
Light: El...? El que? (The...? The what?)
L: ... *crap* Me llamo es Lawliet... (My name is Lawliet...)
--40 seconds later--
L: Ugh *dies*
Light: MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Homophobia is Wrong!

-I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
-I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
-I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
-We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
-I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
-I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had.
-I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
-I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
-We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
-I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
-I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because -I now live with another woman.
-I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
-I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
-I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
-I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
-I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

YOUR GUY SIDE:

You love hoodies.
You love jeans.
Dogs are better than cats.
It's hilarious when people get hurt.
You've played with/against boys on a team.
Shopping is torture.
Sad movies suck.
You own/ed an X-Box.
Played with Hotwheel cars as a kid.
At some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
You own/ed a DS, PS2 or Sega.
You used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
You watch sports on TV.
Gory movies are cool.
You go to your dad for advice.
You own like a trillion baseball caps.
You like going to high school football games.
You used to/do collect football/baseball cards.
Baggy pants are cool to wear.
It's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
Green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
You love to go crazy and not care what people think.
Sports are fun.
Talk with food in your mouth.
Sleep with your socks on

TOTAL= 13

YOUR GIRL SIDE:

You wear lip gloss/chapstick.
You love to shop.
You wear eyeliner.
You wear the color pink.
Go to your mom for advice.
You consider cheerleading a sport.
You hate wearing the color black.
You like hanging out at the mall.
You like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
You like wearing jewelry.
Skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
Shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
You don't like the movie Star Wars.
You are/were in gymnastics/dance.
It takes you around/ more one hour to shower, get dressed, and make-up.
You smile a lot more than you should.
You have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
You care about what you look like.
You like wearing dresses when you can.
You like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne. (I've got a strong nose so I'd rather smell "pretty me" than "sweaty them")
You love the movies.
Used to play with dolls as little kid.
Like putting make-up on someone else for the joy/joke of it.
Like being the star of every thing.

TOTAL = 10

Wow, I'm a girl and there's more on the boys side than the girls...

Yay, more quotes:

"Life is what happens while you're busy making other plans". - John Lennon

"I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I'm saying." - Oscar Wilde

"Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand" Mark Twain

"Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." Mark Twain

"Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first." Mark Twain

"Force always attracts men of low morality." Albert Einstein

"Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere." Albert Einstein

Best quotes of One Piece:

Luffy: I can't fight with swords. I'm terrible at cooking. I can't lie. I can't navigate. I'm nothing without my nakama.
Arlong (laughs) : Then what can you do?
Luffy (smirks) : I can defeat you.

Brook: I'll tell you. I've been traveling this sea for so many years...However, me being a skeleton and having no shadow are two unrelated matters... *takes a sip of his tea* To be continued.
Sanji: WTF, tell us NOW!

Arlong: Do you know what's the difference between us?
Luffy: The nose?... No, the teeth! Oh or the webs?

Luffy: Do you poop?
Sanji: The hell?! Don't ask him such things!!
Brook: Yes
Sanji: And why do you answer?!!

Sanji: Sorry, but i'm gonna have to refuse your offer.
Luffy: No, I refuse.
Sanji: You refuse what?
Luffy: I refuse your refusal.

Luffy: I don't want to be a hero! A hero is a guy who would share meat with others. I'd rather eat it myself!!
Zoro (sometime later): I don't want to be a hero. A hero would share sake with everyone, but I'd rather drink it myself!!
Nami: WHAT'S WITH YOU GUYS AND THAT WEIRD LOGIC?!

Some CP9 guy: Sir, Franky's ass... it's expanding!

Doctor Indigo : Do you feel the power of Chemical Juggling?!
Zoro: I don't have time to juggle with you!