Quotes:

"A girl is the person who screams at the rat and smiles at the wolf."

"A gentleman is just a patient wolf."

"Et quacunque viam dederit fortuna sequamur." - Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne (quote by Virgil, but it was used in this book)
("And whichsoever way thou goest, may fortune follow!")

"Hey, hey! Guess who pwns all?"
"Who?"
"SUB-ZERO pwns all!" - Me, during a conversation with my friend Willie.

"NINJA!" - Willie

"You were doing good, until you opened your mouth and the stupid came out." - Bubba Ray Dudley, during an interview with Jeremy Borash and SoCal Val.

"If I wrote a fanfiction about Ratchet and Clank, Clank and Sigmund would be boyfriends." - Me

"Hah hah! Rock smashes claw!" - Negative Sherman
"This isn't a claw, you fumblenard! This is paper, and paper wraps rock!" - Negative Spinner
"Nuh-uh! Rock smashes through paper...when you put them in a bag?" - Negative Sherman

"Why would you want the enemy to lay explosive eggs? Wouldn't that kill you?" - Me
"No, you idiot! That would kill the enemy!" - JH, during a discussion about the Qwack-O-Ray, from Ratchet and Clank.

"I had this moment, where I realized, I don't have to prove anything to Simon. I just have to be a bigger person. And then the moment passed. I mean sure, my brother's good looking and charming, but so am I. And I can kick anybody's butt at checkers. Agura, checkers? Race across the salt flats? Who wants to lose to the unstoppable, indomitable, Stanford Isaac Rhodes?" - Stanford

"I'm frickin' terrifed of them. They scare me. I would hyperventilate if you held one up close to me. Crazy I know, but my imagination runs away with my common sense, and then they go to the corner of the room, THEN they come back with their baby named Terror." - Me, during a conversation about sharks with my friend Zach.

"Thanks, I NEED to be. Long story short, life is like a monkey. It throws poo at you, you can either cry or throw it back." - Me
"It's hilarious, yet so true!" – Gregor

"You must smell like feet wrapped in burnt bacon!" - Emperor Palpatine, in Star Wars: Robot Chicken

"If I was a girl, I would like John Morrison!" - Jared

"Lunch with the fam. Got this touchy feely waiter keeps putting his hand on my shoulder.. 1 more and Old man Fujiwara's armbar activates." - Samoa Joe (He tweeted this.)

"Machines can fly, especially when they're big red ones." - captaindynamite told me about this one.

"Hernandez, I know you're watching in the back. So put down the burrito, get up outta the chair, march your little monkey butt down here, and finally, face me like a man, one on one!" - Matt Morgan, TNA Impact! 6/24/10

"Wow, who crapped in your corn flakes?" - Annoying Orange

"Welcome to...Glam Rock!" - Shannon Moore

"Imma...Imma freak if you don't close the window." - Me

"If I get left in the theater like last time..." - Me when my best friend left me in the bathroom at the movie theater

"Let's go to war to make peace, let's be cold to create heat. I hope in darkness we can see, you're not blind by the light from me." - In For the Kill by La Roux

"The pheromone levels indicate that the boy wants to mate with the female." - Ratchet in Transformers

"I just wanted to show him my cannons..." - Ironhide in Transformers

"When life gives you lemons, you use them to squirt citrus in the eyes!" - The Whirl Islands

"Women are like hurricanes: When they come in they are wet and wild, but when they leave they take your house and car." - Aaron

"Don't be a jack* Micheal Cole!" - Chris Jericho

"I need a 'I wish you would lay down in a ditch and die' button." - Gabbie

"UPS actually stands for United Pet Squishers." - Luke

"Let's draw a house on fire!" - Luke

"If you were my homework, you'd be on my desk and I'd be doing you." - Fonzy

"If Barbie is so popular, why do we have to buy her friends?"

"Men want the same thing from women as they want from underwear: A little support and a little freedom." - Aldo

"Dyslexics of the world, untie!" - Fonzy

"When shooting a mime, use a silencer or else his friends will hear you." - Sarah

"Thank God for electricity, because if we didn't have it, we'd be watching our T.V.'s in the dark." - George W. Bush

"Procrastinators, unite tomorrow!"

"I dream of a better tomorrow where chickens can cross the road without being questioned about their motives!" - Conrad

"I'm not killing myself," Flint deadpanned. "I cut myself shaving yesterday and it wouldn't stop bleeding. Just imagine how bad it'd be if I killed myself! I'd probably die!" - Flint in How to Moss Misadventure by Zhampy

Justin stopped and looked back at her as she brushed past him, "..Anything that who said?" he asked, slightly bewildered. "..Hey have you see Matt? I can't seem to stay on top of him," he yelled after her. Nicki stopped dead in her tracks, her eyes lighting up. "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" she yelled, turning around to point at him while she jumped excitedly up and down. - That's What She Said! By mizlo

"/c: Enjoy the Crap out of it" - Project: PokeChild by Sukani-kun

"Unattended children will be given an espresso and a free puppy." This was on a sign at our local tourism bureau...

"When life gives you lemons, you cut them in half and squirt life in the eyes!" - IDK

"A good friend will help you up when you fall. A true friend will laugh at you and then trip you again."

"A good friend will keep your secrets when you ask them too. A true friend will keep their mouths shut without you asking them."

"My attention span is just short enough to annoy you and ignore you all at the same time."

"Dream as if you’ll live forever… Live as if you die today."

"Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?"

"Sarcasm isn't an attitude, it's an ART."

"My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog thinks I am."

"Knowledge is power; power is the root of all-evil. Therefore study to be evil."

"I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it!"

"Boys don't fall for me; I trip them."

"They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you stood there and yelled 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill many people."

"There are very few problems that cannot be solved using a large amount of explosives."

"I write for the same reason I breathe; if I didn't I would die."

"I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away."

"You know what. Earth sucks! I'm going home."

"If you laugh I will laugh. If you cry I will cry and if you jump out a window I will laugh."

"Why don't you slip into something more comfortable; like a coma?"

"Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you keep on talking."

"Define normal."

"I. AM. INSANE. I am happy being INSANE then I can laugh at all the non-INSANE people and get away with it. You laugh because I'm different... I laugh because you aren't."

"I love music. I love music loud. Loud is good. Soft is bad. Except when discussing pillows. Soft pillows good. Hard pillows bad. Pillows nice. (Yes I have a rather short attention span.)"

"When in doubt...throw a chair. (I'll go for this one, who agrees with me?)"

"I'll hold it and you light the fuse." Famous Last Words

"I am a bomb technician. If you see me running try and keep up!"

"I was going to conquer the world, but I was distracted by something SPARKLY!"

"I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter."

"Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support."

Rules at Hogwarts:

1052. I will not tell First years that 'OMFGWTF' is a spell.
9068. I will not leave my room when officials from the Ministry are here.
7508. I will not say 'Dude, get a life' to Lord Voldemort.
6201. I will not tell First years that Professor Snape is the voice of God.
2460. I will not take advantage of a sleeping classmate and draw a Dark Mark on their arm.
8950. I will not yell, 'It does DEATH!!' in class when asked what the Avada curse does.
8056. I will not sing 'We're Off to See the Wizard of Oz' when sent to the Headmaster's office.
7630. I will not lock Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets to see which will come out alive.
3906. I will not ask Harry if his 'scar senses' are tingling.
9875. I will not declare an official 'Hug a Slytherin' day.

HOW TO BE ANNOYING IN AN ELEVATOR
1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5) MEOW occasionally.
6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7) SAY "DING" at each floor.
8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
23) WHEN there is only one other person in the elevator, stand really close and whisper "Your my best friend."

18 THINGS TO DO AT WAL-MART
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Electronics to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
17. Go up to a random guy who just has to be with his girlfriend and say "You never called me!"
18. Grab a handful of skittles and throw them at a small kid screaming "TASTE THE FRICKIN RAINBOW!"

RANDOM THINGS:

Laughing at something is normal, laughing at something you said to yourself is weird. Copy and Paste if you are weird.

If you think that JB stands for...NOT Justin Beiber...NOT Jonas Brothers...NOT Jeremy Borash...DEFINITELY NOT Jacob black...but JELLY BEANS then copy and paste to your profile.

If you think the CSI lab rats are just too darn underappreciated copy and paste and add your name: CSIFreak, DragonFriend95,W.S.C. Magica De Spell, irishpepsigurl

If you actually take the time to read other people's profiles, put this in yours.

A large percent of writers don't know the difference between "your" and "you're". If you're one of the ones who does know and wants to slug them, copy and paste this into your profile. (If I make the mistake of putting the wrong one, forgive me. I try to distinguish which ones are which. :))

If you are a fan of Rob Terry on TNA then add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. irishpepsigurl

.eliforp ruoy otni siht etsap dna ypoc ,sdrawkcab siht daer ot hguone trams era uoy fI

If Twilight said that breathing was uncool, 92 of the teens around the world would die. If you are part of the 8 that would be laughing your ass off, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you love FANFICTION.NET, add your name and copy and paste this into your profile. Rainstorm007, Mysterious Miracle, Frostpaw, Crazy Rayne, Alicegirl, Zandylion, Nightmare and Dream, vampirechick123, snow in my coco, Pepa333, ReganBaxter, CSIvHP11, LabRatzRule, DragonFriend95,W.S.C. Magica De Spell, irishpepsigurl

If you are a nerd/geek/dork/weirdo and proud of it, add your name and copy and past this into your profile. irishpepsigurl

I am the girl that spends most of her free time reading, writing, or doing other activities that most teenagers wouldn't call normal. I am the girl that people call weird, and a freak either behind my back or to my face. I am the girl that doesn't spend all her time on My Space, or talking to a girlfriend on a cellphone or a regular phone. I am the girl that hasn't been asked out in a year. I am the girl that has stopped to smell the flowers and jump and splash in the rain.

But I am also the girl who knows and is proud to be who she is, doesn't care if people call her weird, who loves reading and writing and doing the things that no one seems to have the time to do any more, who loves and is obsessed with Torchwood, who can express herself better with words, and knows the importance of the little things.

Copy and Paste this onto your account, and add your name to the list, if you are anything like me, so the girls who are different and unique can know in their weakest times that they are unique, but not alone.

~ PrettyFanGirl, Truth Be Told 13, DEFiiANCE, Angel of Apathy, Vic Taylor, LabRatzRule, DragonFriend95, W.S.C. Magica De Spell, irishpepsigurl

A black man walks into a cafe one early morning and notices that he is the only black man there. As he sits down, he notices a white man behind him.

The white man says, "Colored people are not allowed here."
The black man turns around and stands up. He then says:

"When I was born I was black,"
"When I grew up I was black,"
"When I'm sick I'm black,"
"When I go in the sun I'm black,"
"When I'm cold I'm black,"
"When I die I'll be black."

"But you sir..."
"When you're born you're pink,"
"When you grow up you're white,"
"When you're sick, you're green,"
"When you go in the sun you turn red,"
"When you're cold you turn blue,"
"When you hold your breath you're purple,"
"And when you die you turn grey."
"And yet you have the nerve to call me colored?"

The black man then sits back down and the white man walks away...

Copy this onto your profile and help stop racism!

Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27, 2006, because it was "too small" and "off its orbit" for some scientists' likings. If you think Pluto should still be a planet, copy and paste this to your profile. LONG LIVE PLUTO!!

If you have ever said something that has nothing to do with the conversation copy this on your profile

If you've ever walked into a doorway that you could've clearly dodged, you just weren't paying close enough attention, copy and paste this on your profile.

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you have ever laughed at something that you wouldn't normally laugh at because it was really late at night, copy this into your profile

If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you or your best friend or both are insane copy and paste this onto your profile.

If Fanfiction to you is what Facebook is to other people, copy this to your profile.

If you constantly forget what you're saying or are about to say, copy this into your profile.

If you think that people on commercials talk funny or use phrases no human beings would ever say, copy this into your profile.

If you talk back to the TV, copy this into your profile. (Screaming does count.)

If you've ever tripped over nothing, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped when there was a "watch your step" sign copy and paste this into your profile.

if you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

Repost this if you laughed...
Or are planning to do any of these things

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile.

92 percent American teens would die if Abecrombie and Fitch told them it uncool to breathe. Copy this into your profile if you would be in the 8 percent laughing their asses off at the others.

98 percent of the teenage population does or has tried smoking pot. If you are one of the two percent who haven't, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this into your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. obviously

If you have ever tripped over air, copy and past this into your profile. obviously

If you have ever tripped UP stairs, copy and paste this into your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this into your profile. obviously

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. maybe

If there are times where you just wanna annoy someone for the heck of it copy this into your profile

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile. obviously

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile, Don't You Just Love Rain??

If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, add this to your profile

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile. isn't it obvious?

If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. (Lucky is just a normal leprechaun who wants his cereal)

If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freaking' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile. Barney is a dinosaur from our imagination!

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. obviously

If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you and your friend break out into song in a public area put this on your profile

If you've ever had a mad laughing fit for no reason, copy and paste this into your profile. yes but not for no reason.

Copy paste this to your profile if you'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of pushing the button on the TV.

If you have ever forgotten and/or spelt your name wrong, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you and your friends have made up codenames for boys so they wouldn't know you were talking about them, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever slapped yourself for eating sugar straight out of the little bowl, copy and paste this into your profile.

93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile and add your name to the list: Sunlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Moonlit Goddess of the C.O.C.A., Evil Genius of the COCA, Invader Miley Phantom, dAnnYsGiRl777, BloodySalvation, Lady Lost-A-Lot, bellabookworm9, Bella Masen Cullen, Vampire Scooby, Alannaswarrior, SpottedLilly, Alleyanna Cullen, danceswithwings119, gottaluvtwilight,freexflyer, Green.Winged.Mistress, MoonStarWithWings, Yourcool79, MyNameIsCAB, chibi-sarus, hawkstar2, Xiao Hui Lang, AngelDemon1, Kaykat, irishpepsigurl,

O-o-o-

How to Tell if You're a Writer
-If you talk to yourself.
-If you talk to yourself about talking to yourself (i.e. 'I wonder why I talk to myself ch?')
-If, when you talk to yourself, you sometimes speak as if talking to another person (i.e. 'Okay, so have you ever noticed that the word 'deliver' could mean removing someone's liver?')
-If, after uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand in awe and say, 'Wow, this is good stuff for sugar highs!'
-If people start to notice that you tend to check your e-mail every day for a week, then suddenly disappear off the face of the planet.
-If your e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.
-If, when replying to someone else's e-mail, you are sometimes so random that you fail to address the original message altogether.
-If, no matter where you are in your room, you never have to so much as get up to reach a pen/pencil and paper.
-If the letters are starting to wear off on the keys of your keyboard.
Copy and Paste this if you're a writer.

O-O-O-O-O

THINGS TO PONDER:
Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
So what's the speed of dark?
How come abbreviated is such a long word?
A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station..
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead"?
How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?
Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?
If you're sending someone some Styrofoam, what do you pack it in?
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures'?

You know when you live in 2006 when...

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards for years

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is they don't have a screenname or Myspace

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the buttons on the TV

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) As you read this list you keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list you think about sending it to all your friends...

9.) ...and you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You scrolled back up to see if there was a number 5.

Now you are laughing at yourself stupidly. Put this in your profile if you fell for that, and you know you did.

If you can read this message, you are blessed because over two billion people in the world cannot read at all:

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty

uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal

pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a

rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't

mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the

olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer

be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl

mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed

ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh and I awlyas toghuht slpeling

was ipmorantt! tahts so cool!