I have a singularly impressive talent for messing up the plans of very powerful people - both good and evil. Somehow, I'm always just in the right place at exactly the wrong time. What can I say? It's a gift.

Harry James Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived, the Defeater of Voldemort, Chief Auror, Master of Death, finds that he is five years old. It should not surprise anyone that things in Magical Britain immediately become rather strange.

There's a new neighbour living in the flat opposite theirs and she's a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. One that both Sherlock and John are hell bent on solving, even it if involves a little stalking.

Quite by chance, Harry finds a spell that is supposed to do his homework, but of course he can't tell anyone, not even his best friend. But is that all this spell does? Rated M for language and DE viciousness.

Luckily, lazy came up in Petunia's tirades slightly more often than freak, otherwise, this could have been a very different story. AU. Not your usual Hufflepuff!Harry story.

The Librarians discover Leverage International. Jacob Stone and Eliot Spencer have a family past, but they aren't the only members of the two teams who've met before. Expect whiplash between light and dark.

Hermione was eight when she summoned her first demon. She was lonely. He asked what she wanted, and she said a friend to have tea parties with. It confused him a lot. But that wasn't going to stop him from striking a promising deal with the young witch. Dark!Hermione, Slytherin!Hermione, occult theme. Complete.

Third in the Black Queen series. Jen chose to embrace the darker aspects of the world long ago, and she has never once regretted it. However, serving Baron Samedi creates its own problems. A new enemy is on the prowl, and now she needs to eliminate him… before he can do the same to her. Jen/Luna; as always, not for children

For Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter would become a Dark Lord. For Teddy Lupin, Harry Potter would take down the Ministry or die trying. He should have known that Hermione and Ron wouldn't let him do it alone.

Ever since that day in 1973 when all eyes were on Magneto, a certain law pretty much became completely unnecessary. Unfortunately, the wizards didn't get the memo...

Taylor Hebert intends to become a hero on her own terms. If everybody else thinks her terms are a little odd, well, that's why she never asked their opinion anyway.

Ruby Rose loved video games. Who didn't? But maybe becoming the Gamer and replacing her entire reality with an RPG with a rather quirky sense of humour was a little bit too much. Oh well. Casual players play the game for fun, but the smart player finds ways to break the game. And Ruby's the smartest of them all. Written in remembrance as a tribute to Monty Oum.

Some people can only be pushed so far. Luna will take a lot, but it's best not to insult her mother.

ONE-SHOT: After Arthur Weasley nearly dies at the Ministry, Harry wonders why Voldemort's snake isn't something more exotic...really, no self-respecting Parseltongue should limit himself to something as mundane as a regular snake. In which Harry makes use of what he learned in Care of Magical Creatures, Kreacher is forced to cooperate, and the Chamber hides a new Secret..

When the infant Antichrist is brought to Earth, he is secretly exchanged for another child with no one the wiser. His new parents? James and Lily Potter. The situation doesn't go exactly as Heaven and Hell planned, however...

Most self-inserts are exercises in vanity, and nothing says 'vanity' quite like Gilderoy Lockhart. But with a new personality and knowledge of the future, who knows? Maybe Lockhart will turn out to be a useful DADA teacher after all.

Who knew that defeating the Dark Lord could be so simple? Drabble.

The Malfoys are finally on trial. What could possibly go wrong?

The events at the end of the Triwizard Tournament have left Harry feeling just a little bit paranoid.

ONE-SHOT. After being entered into the Tri-Wizard Tournament against his will, Harry does some independent research on what precisely "magically binding" means...and comes up with a very different approach to the competition. As they say, the pen is mightier than the sword...but is the quill mightier than the wand?

When he learns that flying anywhere near a Dragon is a recipe for suicide, Harry tries a last minute change of tactics, one designed to use the power of the Bureaucracy forcing him to compete against itself. Little does he know that his solution is its own kind of trap.

The power Voldemort knows not turns out to be something unexpected. One-shot, quite AU.

When Kirby is transported to a bizarre place full of strange lights, he thinks he sees an odd creature step from an unusual cooking pot. Well, he's never been one to let a meal get away.

COMPLETE. James Potter casts his own spell to protect his only son; but he was never as good with Charms as Lily was. (A more ruthless Harry Potter grows up to confront Voldemort). Dark!Harry. Slytherin!Harry HP/HG and then HP/HG/TN.

When a few inappropriate questions derail the meeting at the Hog's Head, Harry lets the situation play out. Eventually, he refuses to commit his free time to teach a bunch of easily distracted fools. - Set during fifth year; Harry/Hermione

One-shot. Harry suspects the Second Task will involve hostages, but he still can't find a way to breathe underwater. In his desperation, what other options might he devise?

"The thousand insults she had put upon me I bore as best I could, but when she turned to torture and injury, I swore revenge." A dark revenge fic.

Harry and Hermione exploit various aspects of magic as defined in fanfiction to achieve tremendous succes in stupidly easy ways.

The outrage over having the Quidditch season cancelled was muted too quickly in canon. A fourth year Gryffindor witch decides that someone needs to do something to rescue her best friend from impending disaster, and she has just the tool to fix both problems.

The spite of the spirits opened a door better left untouched. On the other hand, with Fire and Earth as one's allies, sometimes escaping is the easy part.

A mature Harry Potter finds himself in Dresden's world through unknown means with no way back. Not having any lingering connections to his old world, he decides to make the best of things and do what he does best-survive, with style.

It all starts with Hogwarts' Class Reunion.

The summer prior to 6th year Harry deals with Tom in a decisive, if accidental manner. That summer Harry gets a girl friend in Susan Bones, and sets about some self improvement. It is after this change to himself he discovers something a bit disturbing about the Wizarding World, something that Hermione Granger is determined to use to her advantage.

Harry tracks Draco down to the Room of Requirement and foils a Death Eater attack. However, merely denying them access to Hogwarts isn't enough: he wants to strike back, and the Vanishing Cabinet provides that opportunity. One-shot set during Half-Blood Prince.

Albus Dumbledore gets an unexpected visitor in his office one late summer night. The Headmaster finds himself talking to a monster he never knew could arise from his actions. Darkish.

Harry had no idea why the boys in the Great Hall drooled over themselves as the students from Beuxbatons made their entrance, but he knew better than to let an opportunity slip. He hurriedly stole Ron's sandwich. It tasted gloriously.

Thor and Steve are definitely not hiding in a Denny's restaurant. Because Thor doesn't hide and Steve doesn't run away from his problems.

Commissioner Gordon receives an unwelcome education.

- At 14, Harry Potter really wasn't prepared for the Triwizard Tournament, but if he was forced to compete he was going to do his very best.

What could have happened with the Veil in the Department of Mysteries if JKR had been as warped and twisted as I am.

"Have you found out how to get past that beast of Hagrid's yet?" ...Snape kicks Harry out of 'Remedial Potions', but as we know from The Philosopher's Stone, there is another Occlumens in the school good enough to keep out the Dark Lord. Stupid oneshot.

Harry uses Hedwig to test the restrictions on the Goblet of Fire. Obviously, they're not good enough to stop the smartest owl in Britain!

Apathetic Occlumency teacher twisting your mind out of shape? Never fear, there's a charming young girl in the year below to twist it back in the opposite direction. Just hope it doesn't snap.

One Shot. AU. A marriage contract. They want him to sign away his freedom and his future and his life on a girl who didn't even attend her best friend's funeral. Harry has other ideas.

The hapless insurance salesman squirmed. “If you will recall, Professor McGonagall, last time we spoke I told you we wished to cancel your policy. The amount of issues the school has – it’s simply too high-risk for us...”

An alternate scene in Goblet of Fire sees Harry attempting to get out of the tournament. PIMPHARRY. That's right, I said PIMPHARRY.

A "tragic" accident leaves young Harry in the care of a relative that nobody knew existed. It seems Lily Evans had an Uncle named Edmund Bond who had a son he called James.

The first time Remus Lupin tried to board the Hogwarts Express, he went to Platform EightAndAQuarter by mistake.

Stargate crossover. A past mistake comes back to haunt Jack O'Neill several months after the mission to Abydos. Left ophaned, Luna is sent to live with a relative she didn't know she had, leading to changes in her time at Hogwarts. Eventual HarryLuna.

In which a misunderstanding arises about the meaning of the word "billiard", 4,000,000,000,000,000 Bludgers attack Hogwarts, the Room of Requirement eats a Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, and Argus Filch saves the day, not necessarily in that order.

What if Dumbledore was wrong about the people the prophecy applied to?

It is a truth widely acknowledged that Squibs tend to be cat people. One Squib explains why.

Harry has a power that Voldemort does not know of and through deception, victory.

CSICharlie and the Chocolate Factory DeppMovie crossover. A young man is found in the desert, having been drowned in chocolate. Who would want him dead, and what does he have to do with a reclusive chocolatier from London?

Batman brings a new recruit into the JLA ... but there's something he doesn't know ...

Nine years ago Vernon Dursley brought home a certain puzzle box. His nephew managed to open it, changing his destiny. Now, in the midst of Voldemort's second rise, Harry Potter has decided to recreate the Lament Configuration... and open it... again.

After rescuing a train from Doc Ock's attack, Peter Parker found himself unmasked and indebted to those he had just saved. 4 months later, a train passenger again crosses paths with the young hero. Based on events from SpiderMan 2. Author's update, April 2016 : I'm on Archive Of Our Own now. Search for "katherynefromphilly". You'll find me. :)

What if Hermione had been just a bit more ruthless during OotP?