Hi. I'm a beta reader who loves editing and correcting.

I have written three stories, one is complete, one is sadly discontinued, and the other, my personal favorite, is in progress.

Funny labels and warnings

On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)

On a package of pasta after the cooking insturctions: "Put on fork and eat." (No! Really? We're supposed to eat food?!)

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)

On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap. (and that would be how?)

On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion!)

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) Do not turn upside down. (Too late! you lose!)

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating. (Are you sure? Let's experiment.)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body. (But wouldn't that save more time?)

On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds with colds off those fork lifts.)

On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness. (One would hope!)

On artificial bacon: "Real artificial bacon bits". (So we don't get fake fake bacon. Oh no we get real fake bacon.)

On a Korean kitchen knife: Warning: keep out of children. (hmm..something must have gotten lost in the translation..)

On a string of Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to use in outer space.)

On a food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (Now I'm curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts: Warning: contains nuts. (but no peas?)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. (somebody got paid big bucks to write this one..)

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands. (Raise your hand if you've tried this.)

On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (Oh go ahead! That's right, destroy a universal childhood belief.)

Please send things to be beta-read!