Ahoy-Hoy!

Mai name is Lily, Lils, Lil-Z, Lil and/or Beck if my mums mad. I am obsessed with the Weasley Twins and Fang...i have a problem

My favourite fanfics are Harry Potter. Nothing else. I like consistency, but im not that good at it...;)

I like photography and drawing and i really want to go to RCA one day for photography and graphic design b/c i luv both of those. Favourite school subjects are art, history, and football. (NOT american football) I got some good teachers this year so hopefully i won't fail... I like writing but i enjoy reading better.

Favourite Bands/singers: Led Zeppelin, Panic! At the Disco (the ! will live on!!), Metro Station, Arctic Monkeys, The Last Shadow Puppets, The Ting Tings, Paramore, The Hush Sound, The Veronicas, The Beatles, Cream, Dirty Pretty Things, The Donnas, The Doors, Duffy, Eric Clapton, Estelle, Fall Out Boy, The Feeling, Franz Ferdinand, The Fratellis, Kaiser Cheifs, The Kooks, Lily Allen, MIKA, The Monkees, Orson, Paolo Nutini, Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Rolling Stones, The Who...etc...

Favourite Films/ T.V. shows: Across the Universe, Moulin Rouge, Mamma Mia!(:D), 21, Bend It Like Beckham, Gilmore Girls, Futurama, South Park, The Simpsons(Movie as well), all the HP's, all the POTC, That 70's Show.

Favourite Teams: MAN U!! no one else!

Mai Deviant is really cool, if i do say so myself! www.britaingrl.deviantart.com

Actual Labels

Boeing 757-"Fragile. Do not drop"

Liquid plummer-"Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages."-Beverages WOOO!!

Arm and hammer scoopable cat litter-"safe to use around pets" Are you sure?

Endust duster-"This product is not defined flammable by the consumer products safety commission regulations. However this product can be ignited under certain circumstances"

Baby oil-"Keep out reach of children."

Dog food-"new and improved tasting", who tests it?

Hair coloring-"Do not use as an ice cream topping." Yummy...

Sleeping pills-"Warning: may cause drowsiness" CAuse thats not the desired effect..

Komatsu Floodlight-"This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark" Why did I buy it again?

Earplugs-"These earplugs are nontoxic, but they may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe." Are you sure? Lets experiment .

RCA television remote control-"Not dishwasher safe." Really?

Road sign-"Caution: water on road during rain." Gasp!

Hair dryer-"Do not use while sleeping" But thats the only time I have to work on my hair!

On a bar of Dial soap- "Directions: use like regaular soap" And that would be how?

Some Swann frozen dinners-"Serving sugestion: Defrost" But it's just a sugestion.

Tesco's dessert (printed on bottem of the box)-"Do not turn upside down" To late! you lose!

Marks and Spencer Bread pudding: "Warning: product may be hot after heating." Wow, I would have never guessed!

Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." But wouldn't that save more time?

Boots childrens cough medicine: "Do not drive or operate machinary." We could do alot to reduce construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year old off of fork lifts.

Korean kitchen knife: "Keep out of children." NO dip

Christmas lights; "For indoor and outdoor use only." As opposed to outer space.

Food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." Now I'm curious.

Sainsbury's peanuts:"Warning: may contain nuts." But no peas?

American Airlines package of peanuts; "Instructions: open packet. Eat nuts." Someone got paid big bucks to write this one...

Swedish chainsaw:"Do not attept to stop chainsaw with hands." Raise your hand if you've tried this.

MURPHY'S LESSER-KNOWN LAWS:

1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright

until you hear them speak.

2. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

3. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

4. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.

5. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.

6. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something

right, there's a 90 probability you'll get it wrong.

7. If you lined up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be

stupid enough to try to pass them, five or six at a time, on a hill, in the

fog.

8. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

9. The things that come to those who wait, will be the things left by those

who got there first.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he

will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

11. A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.

12. The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

13. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

14. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of 12

people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like, “Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework instead of doing it. Crazy is when you giggle upon finding out that Edward has gone to the Volturi, because it was stupid for him to take second hand information. Crazy is when you got kicked out of the Twilight movie because you screamed every time Jacob or Edward came on the screen. Crazy is when you wish your boyfriend's name was Jasper or Edward. Crazy is when you cry every time you re-read New Moon when Edward leaves Bella (even if you know he would come back!). Crazy is when you tell your boyfriend he should be more like Edward and through Twilight at him. Crazy is when you dress in all the colors of the rainbow and dance around in a movie theater to a song no one else can hear. If you are crazy, or people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.

FRIENDS: Lend you their umbrella
BEST FRIENDS: Take yours and say 'RUN BITCH RUN!'

FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!

FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying "THAT WAS FRICKING AWSOME! WE ARE SO DOING THAT AGAIN NEXT WEEKEND!"

FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Won’t tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when you’re not down anymore.

FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial.

FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your crap and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue."

FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story...

FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds butt that left you

FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME."

FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already knows not to tell.

FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when the guy rejects you
BEST FRIENDS: Will go up to him and say 'its because your gay isn't it?'

FRIENDS: Would ignore this letter
BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this crappp!!

9 Things I Hate About Everyone:

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.. I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2 People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V.. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.

3 When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

4 When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Idiots!

5 When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid 12 to come to the cinema and stare at the darn floor.

6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?". Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest darn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbie?

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile.

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION.
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY.
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
"Just wait until we get home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP.
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don 't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

25.My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

They laugh because we're losers...
We laugh because they just figured it out.

I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.
I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.
I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.
We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.
I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.
I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.
I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in another year I will probably be able to walk again.
I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.
We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.
I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.
I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found out my abusive partner is also a woman.
I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.
I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew up afraid to show affection to other men.
I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.
I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.
I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I did not have to always deal with society hating me.
I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.
I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.
I am the person who is afraid of telling his loving Christian parents he loves another male.
I'm the one who can't accept myself.

If you could easily finish one novel a day, copy this onto your profile

If you have a tendency to talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile

Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile

If you have ever stopped to look at something in the middle of a busy street, copy this into your profile

If you have music in your soul, post this in your profile

If you are random, and you don't care, copy and paste this to your profile

If you know how to laugh at yourself, copy and paste this onto your profile

if you'll take first watch copy and paste this is your profile (if you don't get it READ MAXIMUM RIDE!)

If Faxness is one of your obsessions, post this in your profile

If you think Fang is hot...copy and paste this on your profile.

If you agree that Fang is Fangalicious, copy this into your profile

If you wish you were Max just so you could make out with Fang, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile

Someday we'll look back at this and plow into a parked car

Allways forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much

The voices in my head may not be real but they still have pretty good ideas...

When God gives you lemons, find a new god!

IF YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH FANG COPY AND PASTE THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE!

Whoever said nothing is impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If your friends are always trying to tell you to shut up but you dont, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you are in love with a fictional character, copy and paste this onto your profile.

I am in Sirius denial! Sirius Black is not dead! If you are in denial, copy and paste this (if you can) into your proflie!

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercrombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off.

Funny quotes:

"Life isn't just cupcakes and rainbows"

"what's that pizza smell?"

"what he Edward lacks in sufficient character developement, he makes up for in Sparkle Points"

"Let's call it: Our Super-Special Awesome Life with P!ATD"

"Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler."

In America, children in backseats cause accidents. In Russia, accidents in backseats cause children.

I am free of all prejudices. I hate every one equally.

I can give you a definite perhaps.

Apparently carrots have an IQ of six.

"Friendship is like peeing on yourself everyone can see it but only you feel the warmth it brings"

"And then, everyone comes into town for an orgy"-- MY 60-year-old Latin Teacher (not even joking)