Yo dude.

I don't write a lot fanfic, but I give opinion and suggestion for your story. I like vocaloid and Backyard monster (BYM) (a game in facebook)

My FAV STORY:

1. The almigthy stroy of all fanfic i have read (i have read around 120 vocaloid fanfic, and this is the best).. "THE RIDDLER" BY ANONYMOUS CRYSTAL.

2. Secret Identities by Azm-Rinny.

3. Project: vocaloid by Bernskastell Chio

Fav pairing:

BYM: - D.A.V.E & Zaffreetti + FOMOR

- Crabatron & Brain + Zafreeti & FOMOR

Vocaloid: -Rin & Len

-Gakupo? & Luka

-Rei & Rui

THE ONE I HATE: - Miku

- Moloch (BYM)

Tips for your fanfic:

- Make the word unfamiliar like "obnoxious, pathetic" and formal (ONLY IN THE NARATOR LINE NOT IN THE DIALOG.

-Make 1 paragraph for 1 speech. Exp:

"You don't understand... *hic*... I am the.. *hic... only..." Len was cut when he heard a sudden noise.

A shinigami has arrived behind him.

-Make the A/N and the disclaimer funny, it help a lot.

-Don't Explain all the problem at the first chapter, make the reader confused, "What is the relation of this chapter and the title?" Exp: "The Riddler" by Anonymous crystal.

-BOLD the word that was important. Exp. "He was very violent, and that was Before he got to the jail"

-If you want to make a oneshot, make the word familiar and fast to the point, like "It's bad, I shan't do that".

-The ending of the chapter is very important, make the reader want to know what next badly, or make a short single dialog. Exp. "You did it, didn't you?"

Not to mention the previous tip, if you want to end the WHOLE story, I suggest that you should NOT make an A/N, if you want, make another chapter after it, WHY? because it really disturbing the reader. (INCLUDE ME AS WELL)