--!!!elena!!!--

--!!elena!!--

--!elena!--

may need a tissue...

a girl and a guy going over 100 mph on a motorcycle

girl:slow down, im scared!!

boy:no, this is fun

girl:it's not. please, im scared.

boy: then tell me you love me.

girl:i love you now slow down!

boy:now give me a big hug

she gives him the biggest hug she could...

boy:now take off my helmet and put it on yourself... its bothering me...

the next day in the newspaper... a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure.

two people were on it. the truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working,

but he didnt want the girl to know.instead he had her tell him she loved him and to give him a hug.

then he told her to put on his helmet, so that she would live even if he died...

6 REASONS NOT TO MESS

WITH CHILDREN

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a

human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very

small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human;

it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him ".

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they

were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's

work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what

the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,

"They will in a minute."

One day, a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the sink.

She suddenly notices that her mother had several strands of white

hair on her head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why

are some of your hairs white, Momma?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time you do something to make me sad or

unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl pondered this revelation for a while, then said, Momma,

howcome ALL of Grandma's hairs are white?"

The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to

persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and

say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'that's Michael, He's a doctor.'

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher,

she's dead."

read this!!! u wont regret it, it will touch ur heart

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back."The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old. The Cashier said, "I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll."

Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''

Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look a round. She left quickly. The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand. Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.

"It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas.

She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her."

I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.

But he replied to me sadly. "No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there."

His eyes were so sad while saying this. "My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped.

The little boy looked up at me and said: "I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall."

Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me "I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me."

"I love my mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister."

Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. "Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

"OK" he said, "I hope I do have enough." I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: "Thank you God for giving me enough money!"

Then he looked at me and added, "I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!''

"I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.''

"My mommy loves white roses."

A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.

Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl.

The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma.

Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away.

I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial.

She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.

And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

You know its the 21st Century when:

1.) You accidentally enter your password on a microwave.

2.) You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3.) The reason for not staying in touch with your friends is that they dont have a screen name or myspace.

4.) You'd rather look all over the house for the remote instead of just pushing the button on the TV.

6.) Your boss doesn't even have the ability to do your job.

7.) You read this list, & keep nodding and smiling.

8.) As you read this list, you think about sending it to all your friends.

9.) And you were too busy to notice number 5.

10.) You actually scrolled back up to check that there was a number 5.

11.) & now you're laughing at your stupidity.

12.) Put this in your profile if you fell for it. And you know you did.

A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit
some friends one evening
and time passed quickly as each shared
their various experiences of the past year.

She ended up staying longer than
planned, and had to walk home alone.
She wasn't afraid
because it was a small town and she lived
only a few blocks away.

As she walked along under the tall elm
trees, Diane asked God to keep her safe from
harm and danger.

When she reached the alley, which was a
short cut to her house, she decided to take it.

However, halfway down the alley she
noticed a man standing at the end as though he
were waiting for her.

She became uneasy and began to pray,
asking for God's protection.

Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness
and security wrapped round her, she felt as
though someone was walking with her.

When she reached the end of the alley,
she walked right past the man and arrived
home safely.

The following day, she read in the
newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same
alley just twenty minutes after she had been there.

Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and
the fact that it could have been her, she began to
weep.

Thanking the Lord for her safety and to
help this young woman, she decided to go to the
police station.

She felt she could recognize the man, so
she told them her story.

The police asked her if she would be
willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify
him.

She agreed and immediately pointed out
the man she had seen in the alley the night
before.

When the man was told he had been
identified, he immediatley broke down and confessed.

The officer thanked Diane for her bravery
and asked if there was anything they could do
for her.

She asked if they would ask the man one
question.

Diane was curious as to why he had not
attacked her.

When the policeman asked him, he
answered, "Because she wasn't alone.
She had two tall men walking on either side of
her."

Amazingly, whether you believe or not,
you're never alone. Did you know that 98 of
teenagers will not stand up for god?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an s in it?

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect to get it back!

Do illiterate people get the full benefit of alphabet soup?

Wouldn't it be fun to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?

If something goes without saying, why do people say it?

Please note : Christmas is cancelled - apparently you told santa you were good this year ... and he died laughing

Everything here is edible. I am edible, but, that, my children, is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

"It's always in the last place you look" Duh! If you had already found it, why would you keep looking?

I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh, the fun I will have!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and then the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Whoever said "anything is possible" never tried to slam a revolving door.

Confusion is a term for the stupid.

I am NOT saying your stupid...I'm just implying it.

I was gifted but the psychiatrist took away my powers

Come to the dark side, we have cookies!

I ran with scissors and lived! ( i seriously think that one should be put on a t-shirt)

I only have PMS on days that end with a Y

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive

Life isn't passing me by - it's trying to run me over!

Boys are like trees - they take 50yrs to grow up and are recyclable!!

It was a case of life and death - now that he's dead I have a life.

They say guns don't kill people, people kill people. Well, I'm pretty sure the guns help because if you stood there and shouted 'BANG' I don't think you'd kill a lot of people.

The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not.

Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much.

Boys are like slinkys, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

you cry, i cry, you laugh, i laugh, you fall off a cliff , i laugh even harder

what happens when your scared half to death twice???

Favorite Conversations!:

him: I found the song!

me: what song?

him: "Dick in a box."

me: your in a box?

him: (glares)

his friend: dude...you so had that coming.

him: dude!

me: dude!

him: dude!

me: dude! (pause)

him: you there, dude?

me: yeah

him: guess what?

me: what?

him: dude...

him: oh no! it's return of the living dead!

me: (rolls eyes)

him: aw! don't frown, sunshine! you know it takes 43 muscles to frown, but only 17 to smile (wears a BIG smile)

me: your right! and you know, it might take 17 muscles to smile, but it only takes 15 to bitch-slap.

him: what's that got to do with- WHAM!

me: (slaps him, and he rubs his cheek) Smile, sunshine!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you two are going to kill each other, at least do it outside. I just finished cleaning!"

2. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week."

3. My mother taught me LOGIC.
"Because I said so, that's why."

4. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC.
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you aren't coming to the store with me!"

5. My mother taught me FORESIGHT.
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.

6. My mother taught IRONY.
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

7. My mother taught me about THE SCIENCE OF OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM.
"Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

9. My mother taught me about STAMINA.
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

10. My mother taught me about WEATHER.
"Your room looks like a tornado went through there!"

11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY.
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times, don't exaggerate!"

12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out of it too!"

13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

14. My mother taught me about ENVY.
"There are millions of less fortunate children around the world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION.
"Just wait until we get home!"

16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You're going to get it when we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about MEDICAL SCIENCE.
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way!"

18. My mother taught me about ESP.
"Put your sweater on! Don't you think I know when you're cold?"

19. My mother taught me HUMOR.
"When the lawnmower cuts off you toes, don't come crying to me!"

20. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

21. My mother taught me GENETICS.
"You're just like your father."

22. My mother taught me about MY ROOTS.
"Shut that door! Do you think you were raised in a barn?"

23. My mother taught me WISDOM.
"When you're my age, you'll understand."

24. My mother taught me JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!"

Layers Of You (Put a question mark for questions you don't want to answer)
LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Elena
Birth date: March 20
Current Location: Florida
Eye Color: blue with green flecks
Hair Color: brown
Righty or Lefty: righty
Zodiac Sign: Piecies

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: german,canadian, white
Your weakness: idk?
Your fears: spiders! and heights
Goal you'd like to achieve: Rather not say

LAYER THREE: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW:
Your thoughts first waking up: shut up u stupid alarm clock!!
Your best physical feature: ~shrugs~
Your bedtime: dont have one
Your most missed memory: when we had nap times

UR PICK:
Pepsi or Coke: coke
McDonald's or Burger King: Burger King
Adidas or Nike: wait! r yall talking about shoes? if so nike!
cappucino or coffee:cappucino

LAYER FIVE: DO YOU?
Cuss: nope..
shower:yep. Everyday.
Have a crush: not at the moment
Think you've been in love: nope
want to get married:yep
believe in youself:not all the time but most
are you a health freak:nope.

LAYER SIX: IN THE PAST MONTH
Gone to the mall: Yep
Been on stage: yep
Been dumped: nope
Gone skating: yep
dyed you hair: nope

LAYER SEVEN: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a stripping game: nope
Got beaten up: nope
Changed who you were to fit in: nope!

LAYER EIGHT: GETTING OLD
Age your hoping to be married: don’t know
Age your hoping to have kids: ~shrugs~

LAYER NINE: IN A BOY
Best eye color: blue
hair color: don't care
Long or Short Hair? don't care (Maybe in between)