" The Way Things Will Be"
Kristina Diane Smith

I can barely look at her now
As she can no longer look in my cold, gray eyes
I am nothing more then a monster to her now,
Like something Dr.Frankenstein created.

Must I be forsaken for what it is that I love most?
Then I knew that she would hate this life
The hellhole that I brought her to.

All I see in her now is coldness
Frightfulness.
Alone.
Scared.
Empty.

Much like me when I was brought into the world of the undead,
But I am still miserable.
This frightens me for her sake.

What if she really isn't strong enough for this 'life'?
Good Heaven!I know that I made a gamble when I took her mortal life away from her.
Now as I see her bloody tear-stained face.
Night after night.
I know I am a fool.

She will no longer love me
The way she did when she was mortal.
A woman of the human race.
But I could not bear thinking of life without her.

But she did not see what she looked like
After what her attacker did to her.
If she saw her naked, battered body,
Perhaps then she would understand.

Oh but no,

I am a fool to think such a thing!
She knew that she wanted to die the proper way,
Not to be a shadow; thing she once was.

This is my downfall,
Creating my doll into one of the forsaken children of darkness.
This will be her first month in this turbulent darkness of hell
That I, of all creatures,put her through.

No lover should ever do so.
No one with a guilty conscience should ever bleed their lover for pleasure,
For the sake of not being alone.
My thick heart was overwhelming me with the dreadful alarm of not having her.
Where was my mind that night?

I have failed her miserably!
I have failed my own creator as well.
Do I wish I could take it all back?
I am ashamed to say this ,but no.

I am a selfish being.
I do not deny this.
I take over the thoughts of whatever goodness may be left in me.
And replace that with my sexual hunger and the lust for blood.

But why did I do it to her?
How could I do this to my Goddess..My Amanda?
She sits by the fire often these nights
And thinks of her past.
Beautiful,lovely,carefree past...

That I look away from her.
Now all gone into a heap of thick ashes.
That she will never be able to return to.

Shame and forgivness are two powerful words
and I know that I will never hear the second from her,
But the first is heavy in me.

Regrets are endless in my mind.
The sorrow,
The pain,
The grief,
The last of trust.

Now that I am damned with her love,
I wonder what to do with myself.
Suicide would be the easiest answer.

With the hot burning rays of the sun
trickling down on me scorches my rough skin
But if I do that then she will surely go mad!

I can forsake her from her life
But I will not forsake her from me as her teacher,
Lover is out of the quistion.
Now that I have violated her so.

I just hope that she will allow me to teach her
just si that I can be in her company.
If not for the sex.
The for the friendship at the very best.

From a source of personal Vampire poems.Poem (Four)

Name: Kristina Diane
Name Meaning Anointed One Divine
Birthday: February, 18, 1982
Age: 20
Astrology Sign: Aquaris/Pisces Cusps
Gemstone:Amethyst
Planet:Uranus
Hobbies: Reading, writing, astrology, reading tarot cards,computers, etc...
Favorite Movies: Planet of the Apes(1967-version,Amadaus,Dead Poets Society,Iniana Jones Series etc..
Favorite Book:" Phantom" by Susan Kay
Favorite Color: Lavender and Light Blue
Favorite Food: Sweets,chocolate, spaghetti
,and Pizza
Favorite TV Shows: Smallville,Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Unsolved Mysteries
Favorite Anime: The Last Unicorn,UNICO,Ronin Warriors,Sailor Moon,etc..
Ocupation:I work at a nursing home.

My Websites

Bastards Need Love Too

Kel co-owns this Lionel Luthor web site with me,but she does alot of the work.

My New E-Group

The Darker Angels

A group for adults and young adults who enjoy writing about Vampires.All styles of writings are welcomed.

Up comming

Origonal Stories

" Time My Enemy"--long not completed(R)
"A Kind Heart"--medium not completed(PG13)-Sequel to"Yuki no Saukra"

Stories That Are Up

"Black Beads"--long not completed(NC-17)-Smallville-
"Yuki no Sakura"--short completed(PG)-Origonal Anime/Manga-05-22-02-NEW-

Smallville Soon To Come

"Gaynemede"--medium being re-writen. (NC-17)
"Exodus"--sequel to "Gaynemede"comming soon.(NC-17)

" One final thought--nothing scientific,purely personal.Seen from up here, everything looks different...Time bends man's ego. He begins to feel no more then a mote in the eye of eternity. And he is nagged by a question; that if anything, will greet us on the end of man's first journay to the star? Are we to believe
that throughout theses thousands of galaxies, theses millions of stars only one, that speak of solar dust we call Earth, has been graced--or cursed by human life?"

'Pause'

rarley like humo" I have to doubt it."

Colonel Taylor

"Planet of the Apes"(1967-version)

Signed By,

Kristina

~LoveLionelLuthor~*

I like to write dark romances.Modern day re-telling of Fairy Tales, and am currently writing the third draft of my Vampireoriginal novel "Time My Enemy".The Prologue should be posted up sometime in June.I am working very hard on it with my friend and editor Marion.
I really don't have any good books to recommend right now that I have read recently.My favorite is "Phantom"by Susan Kay.Although I did just finish reading the manga "Marmalade Boy".Which is so adorable!I also just got done with the manga "MOBILE SUIT, Gundam W:EPISODE ZERO" and "MOBILE SUIT,GUNDAM W:Battlefiled of Pacifists".I haven't read are watched Gundam Wing for a long time, and I enjoyed going back through memory lane with the characters.0-o

Fan Fiction I Recremiend
.1."Sister and Brother" by:Snuffleupugus(Smallville)
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=562036
Rating:PG13
Category:Humor

Absolutely delicus! I love the humor in this story, and I rarely like humor .You go Snuffle!