So yeah, I'm kinda new at this, but my friends seem to think I have some pretty funny ideas, so I'm gonna start posting a couple of my works-in-progress. I hope you like. Now all I have to do is find the time to write...

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"In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards." ~ Mark Twain

"You were born an original. Don't die a copy." ~John Mason

"So i have this really bad habit of constantly walking in on my roomie when he's beating off..." ~ Kyle

"On a scale from one to ten pine cones, how bad was your day?" ~ Jimmy

"If you want to be happy, be." ~ Leo Tolstoy

"Every sweet has its sour; every evil its good." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

"I never dared to be radical when young/For fear it would make me conservative when old." ~ Robert Frost

"There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." ~ Friedrich Nietzsche

"Be great in act, as you have been in thought." ~ William Shakespeare

"You know, people in Shakespeare's plays are really open about their sex lives." ~ Eric

"O, this learning, what a thing is it!" ~ William Shakespeare

"Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here." ~ Albus Dumbledore

"Schedules are walls we can always live behind." ~ Jimmy

"The shadow government is an appalling assembly of utopian anarchists masquerading as conservatives who are transforming our republic into a plutocratic kleptocracy." ~ Jimmy again

"Ours is a world of nuclear giants and ethical infants. We know more about war that we know about peace, more about killing that we know about living." ~ Omar N. Bradley

"Why do we say, "heads up!" when we duck?" ~ Jared