"Major Major was born too late and too mediocre. Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it has been all three. Even among men lacking distinction he inevitably stood out as a man lacking more distinction than all the rest, and people who met him were always impressed with how unimpressive he was."- Catch-22

"Except for death and paying taxes, everything in life is only for now."-Avenue Q

Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Just walk beside me and be my friend.
...Unknown, (often attributed to Albert Camus)

"I may disagree with what you say,But I will fight to the death for your right to say it"
Volitaire

Politics: “Poli” a Latin word meaning “many”; and "tics" meaning “bloodsucking creatures”.
Robin Williams

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2001)

This book is designed to resemble an actual Hogwarts textbook, complete with wear-and-tear and has notes "written" in the margins by Harry/Ron/Hermione (And the Wizzy Pookles)

Harry: This book belongs to Harry Potter.

Ron: Shared by Ron Weasley, because his fell apart.

Hermione: Why don't you buy a new one then?

Ron: Write on your own book, Hermione.

Hermione: You bought all those dungbombs on Saturday. You could have bought a new book instead.

Ron: Dungbombs rule.

Miranda St. Claire: Let me ask you a question. How can you investigate anything? I'm told you're germophobic, afraid of the dark, heights, crowds, and… milk.

Sharona: We're working on the milk. He's making good progress on milk.

Natalie's cell phone rings. It is Monk, he's sick with the flu. He's walking around his apartment, coughing, with a dictionary in his hand.

Monk: Natalie, it's me, Adrian Monk.

Natalie: Yes, Mr. Monk, we were just talking about you.

Monk: Natalie, you have to come back here.

Natalie: I can't right now, Mr. Monk, I'm at the pizzeria talking to the manager.

Monk: It's Ebola.

Natalie: Excuse me?

Monk: I think I have the Ebola virus.

Natalie: No, Mr. Monk you do not have the Ebola virus.

Monk: I'm pretty sure I do, I have all the symptoms, I have the headache, the fever, the massive internal bleeding.

Natalie: You have massive internal bleeding?

Monk: Yes, I believe I do, that is my opinion.