Samsayshii
 Author has written 3 stories for Twilight. my name is Sam! im a klutz, write all over my self, dont have a care in the world and love to talk! ~DESCLAIMER~ everyone this is my desclaimer for ALL my stories! DESCLAIMER- I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT! I ONLY OWN THE PLOT FOR THE STORY AND ANY OTHER CHARACTER I MAKE UP!! ONCE AGAIN I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT! ~Survey~ Who's the last person you talked to and what did you say? my sister telling her i had better hand writin' than her Where are you? my livin' room Look up, now look back. What did you see? What's the last thing you ate? italian ice from ritas What's your personality like? Who do you have a crush on? uh... a boyy but i dont wanna say What was the last thing you thought? where is my password for twitter. oooo i remember it now You have a million dollars. What do you do? meet all the twilight/new moon actors/actresses What are you eating/drinking RIGHT NOW? What are you thinking RIGHT NOW? my sister better put down my game or im gonna screamm XD What's it like being you? amazin' What are your thoughts on writing? i need to add a new chappie How tall are you? What book are you currently reading? the lovley bones What music are you listening to? the voices in my head What was the last website you visited before fan fiction? What was the last thing you cooked? ...i don't cook What color are the walls of the room you are in? they are painted blue Do you know who the governor of your state is? How many different programs are open on your computer right now? 23!! Have you ever been water-skiing? What is the weather like? kinda cold. nice though Are you going an vacation this summer and where? Anything else? 37 Secrets About Yourself Be honest no matter what. 1) have you ever been asked out? 2) where did you get your default picture? 3) what's your middle name? 4) your current relationship status? 5) does your crush like you back? 6) what is your current mood? 7) what color of underwear are you wearing? 8) what color shirt are you wearing? 9) Missing something? 10) if you could go back in time and change something, what would you change? 11) if you must be an animal for one day, what? uhm a dog? 12) ever had a near death experience? 13) something you do a lot? 14) the song stuck in your head? 15) who did you copy and paste this from? 16) name someone with the same birthday as YOU? 17) when was the last time you cried? 18) have you ever sung in front of a large audience? 19) if you could have one super power what would it be? to have the power to cause pain to someone mentally (Jane's power or Alec's power) 20) what's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? height and eyes 21) what do you usually order from starbucks? 22) what's your biggest secret? 23) favorite color(s)? 24) do you still watch kiddie shows? 25) what are you? 26) do you speak any other language? 27) what's your favorite smell? 28) Describe your life in one word what would it be? 29) have you ever kissed in the rain? 30) what are you thinking about right now? 31) what should you be doing? 32) who was the last person that made you upset/angry? 33) do you like working in the yard? no 34) if you could have any last name in the world, what would you want? 35) do you act differently around the person you like ? 36) what is your natural hair color? 37) who was the last person to make you cry? Kristen (same i metioned before) she embarssed me in front of the whole school YOUR GUY SIDE: ~You love hoodies. Total= 20... alll true! i amm so not a girly girl YOUR GIRL SIDE: You wear lip gloss/chapstick. Total= 8 (sooo not girlyyy XD) I I L I LO I LOV I LOVE I LOVE J I LOVE JA I LOVE JAS I LOVE JASP I LOVE JASPE I LOVE JASPER I LOVE JASPER W I LOVE JASPER WH I LOVE JASPER WHI I LOVE JASPER WHIT I LOVE JASPER WHITL I LOVE JASPER WHITLO I LOVE JASPER WHITLOC I LOVE JASPER WHITLOCK Copy and paste if you love Jasper too! You know you love Jasper if: You celebrate Veterans Day and say its for Jasper Whenever someone mentions Texas or the Civil War you shout "Ohhh! Jaaaasper! I loooove Jasper!" When someone asks if you know anyone emo, you answer Jasper. If someone asks "Do you know how I feel?" or something like that, you respond in an annoyed voice "Do I look like Jasper?!" You turned in an 15 page report on why the Confederate wasn't so bad. The civil war is all u read. (besides Twilight and Fan-ficts) Books: twilight, new moon, eclipse, breaking dawn, wuthering heights and more Movies: twilight, new moon elf, christmas story, home alone 1&2, big time rush, and many more Music: Linkin park, Keha, Muse, Death cab for cutie, Taylor Swift mostly every thing expect bad music Character: Jasper Hale Whitlock Cullen Dislikes: Jacob Black, Wolves, Annoying people, people who hate twilight, annoying questions, edward cullen If you have ever tripped over air, copy this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa copy this into your profile Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it, copy this onto your profile! If you have ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects copy this into your profile If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile. If you have ever run into a tree, copy this to your profile! If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this into your profile. If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. If you have ever stayed up for over 40 hours continuously just because you frickin' could, copy this into your profile If you ever forgotten what you were talking about in a conversation copy and paste this into your profile. If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile If you're hyper, like being hyper, and are hyper all the time, COPY THIS INTO YOUR PROFILE! Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile. Just because we eat animals for food doesn't mean we can cut them up for clothing! If you are against fur coats, clothing, boots, etc. copy this into your profile! If you hate those obnoxious snobby people, PLEASE copy this into your profile. If you believe that the government should make levees, not war, copy this into your profile. If you hate those irritating mosquitoes giving you mosquito bites copy and past this into your profle. If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. Put this in your profile if you didn't know the Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star had the same tune I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile. If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile. If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile. If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile, and add your name to this list: danyan, Zutara Lover, Black'n'red'Butterfly, Enrica(real name)(i always change my penname)(tehehehe) PurpleBunniesWillRuleTheWorld, Roxxi-and-Ali, IsabellaMarieSwan123, The Dawning of Twilight, KluTzXCliMbeRX101... I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already made fist and say, "oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you asshole!" I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid. Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? Yaeh and Iawlyas toghuht slpeling was ipmorantt! Tahts so cool! If you could read that put it in your profile! If you think that those stupid kids should just give that forsaken Trix rabbit some Trix, copy this into your profile. 92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your ass off. List twelve of your favorite characters from your fandom, in no particular order. 1. jasper 3. emmett 6. embry 7.bella 8. edward 9. jane 10. carlisle 11. esme 12. alec 1. Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fic? Do you want to? Esme and Bella Ewwww NO 2. Do you think Four is hot? How hot? Nessie? im a girl so no i dont think she is hot. 3. What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant? alec got edward pregnant? i dont think so thats is creepy 4. Can you recall any fics about Nine? about jane? not really she has been in them but they werent about he 5. Would Two and Six make a good couple? Alice and Embry? nope Werewolf vampire? not at all 6. Five/Nine or Five/Ten? Why? Seth/Jane/Carlisle ewwww no 7. What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex? Bella? walking into Alice and Alec having sex! she would yell at her then tell jazz 8. Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fic. After Emmett got detention Carlisle took his beloved baby away! what could it be?? (xbox) 9. Is there any such thing as One/Eight fluff? Jasper/Edward fluff uhm hell no! 10. Suggest a title and summary for a Seven/Twelve hurt/comfort fic. When Edward runs away Bella goes to Alec for comfort 11. Does anyone on your friends list read Three yet? Emmett! ya i guess 12. Does anyone on your friends list write or draw Eleven? Esme. my friend can 13. Would anyone on your friends list write Two/Four/Five? Alice/Nessie/Seth not that i know of. 14. If you wrote a Song-fic about Seven, what song would you choose? Bella uhmmmm Dont forget by Demi Lovato for when Edward left like in New moon 13. When was the last time you read a fic about Five? Seth. does breaking dawn count cause if so then last night 14. "(1) and (7) are in a happy relationship until (9) runs off with (4). (1), brokenhearted, has a hot one-night stand with (11) and a brief unhappy affair with (12), then follows the wise advice of (5) and finds true love with (3).” "Jasper and Bella are in a happy relationship untill Jane runs away wuth Nessie. Jasper brokenhearted has a hot one night stand with Esme and a brief unhappy affair with Alec the follows the wise advice of Seth and finds true love with Emmett!" ewwww no 15) 4 invites 3 and 8 to dinner at their house. What happpens? Nessie invites Emmett and Edward to dinner at her house. they dont eat and Nessie is living with Bella and Edward sooo noooo 16) 9 tries to get 5 to go to a yoga class. What happens? Jane tries to get Seth to go to yoga class! i would laugh so much Jane and Seth complaining about the smell and if Seth refuses Jane will hurt him! oh i would pay to hear about that!! 17) You need to stay at a friend’s house for the night. Do you choose 1 or 6? If i had to choose between Jasper and Embry i choose Jasper! i love vampires and Jasper!! 18) 2 and 7 are making out. 10 walks in...Their reaction? Alice and Bella are making out and Carlisle walks in. she would be upset they both have Edward and Jasper. 19) 3 falls in love with 6. 8 is jealous. What happens? Emmett falls in love with Embry and Edward is jelous. i dont think soooo 20) 4 jumps you in a dark alleyway. Who comes to your rescue? 10, 2 or 7? Nessie jumps me in a dark alley and either Carlisle, Alice, or Bella can come to my rescue i choose Alice!! she would save the day!! 21) 1 decides to start a cooking show. 15 minutes later what is happening? Jasper starts a cooking show and fifteen minuetes later he is talking about the civil war and the south! 22) 3 has to marry either 8, 4 or 9. Who do they chose? Emmett has to either marry Edward, Nessie, or Jane. he would choose Nessie because with Edward it would be plane weird and if he broke Jane's heart he would be in pain. 23) 7 kidnaps 2 and demands something from 5 for 2's release. What is it? Bella kidnaps Alice and demands something from Seth. her copy of Wuthering Heights. 24) You get to meet either 1 or 6. Who do you chose? Jasper or Embry i choose Jasper!! he is the best and Embry probably smells like wet dog 25) 10 challenges 4 to a chariot race. Why? Carlisle challenges Nessie to a chariot race! because he inhaled too many toxic medicanes! 26) Everyone gangs up on 3. What happens? on Emmett. he wouldnt know what hit him!! 27) Everyone is invited to 2 and 10 wedding except for 8. How do they react? Alice and Carlisle wedding! Edward would be to busy choking of laughter to care 28) Why is 6 afraid of 7? Embry afraid of Bella. she can kick his ass 29) 10 gathers everyone around to tell them a fairy tale. How does it go? Carlisle gathers everyone to tell them a fairy-tale. Emmett is laughing causing everyone else to laugh 30) 1 arrives late for 2 and 10's wedding. What happens? And why are they late? Jasper arrives late for Alice and Carlisle's wedding. i dont think he is happy and was to busy smashing his fist into walls to remember 31) 5 and 9 get roaring drunk and end up at your house. What happens? Seth and Jane get drunk and end at my house! i would party with them 32) 3,6 and 4 all go to the zoo for 8's birthday party. How does it go? What presents do they get 8? Emmett, Embry and Nessie all go to the zoo for Edward's birthday! it would be funny to see his face but he wouldnt like it too much! 33) Everyone gets together and starts protesting something outside of your house. What are they protesting? What do you do? IDK! 34) 9 murders 2’s best friend. What does 2 do to get back at them? jane murders Alice's best friend Bella. Alice rips her apart piece by piece 35) 6 and 1 are in mortal danger. Only one of them can survive. Does 6 save himself or 1? Embry and Jasper are in mortal danger. Embry saves himself cause he doesnt want to kiss up to vampires. 36) 5 is trapped in a cave. 10 comes to rescue them. What happens? Seth is trapped in a cave and Carlisle rescues. doesnt shock me. Carlisle is a caring person. 37) 3 starts a day camp. What happens? Emmett starts a day camp. look out children! 38) 4,6, and 7 are doing the Hokey-Pokey. 8 walks in. What happens? Nessie, Embry and Bella are playing hokey-pokey. Edward walks in laughs and walks out! 39) 1 starts to write a story where 9 and 10 are going out. What is 2's reaction? Jasper writes a story where jane and Carlisle are going out. Alice thinks it is hilarious and already saw this coming! 40) 7 makes an apple pie. Is it any good? Bella makes an apple pie. Its good cause she use to bake them for Charlie when she was human 41) 8 and 3 go camping. For some reason they forget to bring any food. What do they do? Edward and Emmett are going camping! they dont eat 42) While they are camping, they run into James (from Twilight). What do they do? Edward and Emmett and Jasper beat the Crap out of him for hurting Bella and for extisting 25 REASONS I OWE MY MOTHER 1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 2. My mother taught me RELIGION. 3 . My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL. 4. My mother taught me LOGIC. 5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC. 6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT. 7. My mother taught t me IRONY. 8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS. 9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM. 10. My mother taught me about STAMINA. 11. My mother taught me about WEATHER. 12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY. 13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE. 14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION. 15. My mother taught me about ENVY. 16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION . 17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING. 18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE. 19. My mother taught me ESP. 20. My mother taught me HUMOR. 21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT. 22. My mother taught me GENETICS. 23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS. 24. My mother taught me WISDOM. 25. And my favorite: My mother taught me about JUSTICE. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fD7Ww55W4Zs Check out this video for a good laugh!! One bright day in the middle of the night, Some Random Funny stuff! Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an s in it? Did you know that 8 out of 3 people don't get fractions? FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you. BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, "It's because you're gay, isn't it?" FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you. BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, "Seven days..." FRIENDS: Helps you up when you fall. BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, "Walk much, dumb ass?" FRIENDS: Helps you find your prince. BEST FRIENDS: Kidnaps him and brings him to you. FRIENDS: Will ask you if you're okay when you're crying. BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, "Ha Ha, Loser!" FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda. BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you. FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month. BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in. FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain. BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, "Run -beep- run!" FRIENDS: Will help you move. BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies. FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, "That was awesome! Let's do it again!" FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink. BEST FRIENDS: Helps themselves and are the reason why you have no food. FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa. BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS! FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail. BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you sayin "DAMN!" we messed up!" FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry. BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried...just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore. FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number. BEST FRIENDS: Has you on speed dial. FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back. BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, "My bad...here's a tissue." FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you. BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story... FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing. BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door. BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME." FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone. BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell. FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies) BEST FRIENDS: Are for life. FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you've had enough. BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say "Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don't waste!" FRIENDS: Would read ignore this. BEST FRIENDS: Will repost this shit! girl and guy were speeding over 100mph on a motorcycle Girl: Slow down, I'm scared! Guy: No, this is fun. Girl: No, it's not. Please, I'm scared. Guy: Then tell me you love me. Girl: I love you, now slow down! Guy: Now give me a big hug. (She gives him a big hug) Guy: Can you take off my helmet and put it on yourself, it's bothering me. In the newspaper the next day, a motorcycle had crashed into a building because of break failure. Two people were on it and only one survived. The truth was that halfway down the road, the guy realized his break wasn't working but he didn't want the girl to know. Instead he had her hug him and tell him one last time that she loved him. Then he had her put on his helmet so that she would live even if he died. Copy this onto your profile if you would do the same thing for someone you love. Best friends through thick and thin!
I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic. I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist If you hate stereotypes and think people should just SHUT UP AND STOP, RE-POST THIS! You know you're obsessed with Twilight when... 1) You have read both Twilight, New Moon, and Eclipse at least 3 times. 2) You own the above mentioned books. 3) You know that they're totally going to screw up Twilight the Movie, and you want to see it anyway. 4) You have read everything on every page of Stephanie Meyer’s web site. 5) You have reread a lot of these pages. 6) You read fanfiction about Twilight. 7) You write fanfiction about Twilight. 8) At one point or another, you have had a screen name/username that says something about Twilight or its characters. 9) For a long while after you read Twilight/New Moon/Eclipse, you acted as a missionary for the books, asking everyone you talked to if the had read them. 10) If said people have not read Twilight, you insist that they read it, because it is, and I quote, "the best book ever". 11) If anyone says something that goes against the statement that Twilight is the best book on the planet, you immediately start to argue with them. 12) You stand firm by your belief that anyone who says that Twilight is just a crappy, unrealistic love story (and yes, believe it or not, I do know someone who has said this!) should be taken to the edge of a cliff and pushed off. 13) For months after you read it, Twilight was your favorite subject to talk about.(and still do) 14) You argue with your friends over which member of the Cullen family you like best. 15) You began reading fanfiction as a desperate attempt to read something about Twilight, when you had already finished the books. 16) No matter how many times you read Twilight or Twilight-related stories, you never get tired of it. 17) As you read this list, you are smiling and nodding at almost every thing you read. 18) Even though you know it's impossible, you often wish that you were a vampire. 19) Vampires are officially your favorite mythical creature ever. 20) Your personal motto is, vampires are cool, not scary. 21) You know that you are not crazy for being obsessed with Twilight; people who don't understand it just haven't read the book. 22) When you hear that someone read Twilight and didn't like it or thought it was stupid, you just shake your head and sigh. 23) You literally haunt Stephenie Meyer's website waiting for new information 24) Your home page is Stephenie Meyer's website 25) Your desktop has something to do with the Twilight Series 26) You have both the original New Moon book and the New Moon Special Edition 27) You put your Eclipse poster in plain view so that everyone can see it 28) You can't believe that most people haven't read the books 29) You know all the characters so well that you feel as if you could write your own stories about them 30) You spend most of your day making up "What if...?" questions about all the different plot lines 31) You've actually read the play "Romeo & Juliet" just so you could find out how Jacob would die 32) You know you're addicted, but you don't care there’s a blonde, brunette , and a read head walking in the desert, let’s name them “Rosalie”, “Alice”, and “Bella”. They come across a genie lamp and each get a wish. Bella goes, "I miss my home. Send me there!" And she goes. Alice goes, "Take me home!" And the genie sends her home. Then Rosalie says, "I'm really lonely. I wish my friends were back." Reasons why girls are the best: 1.We got off the Titanic first ╔══╦══╦══╗ you have been diagnosed 1. YOUR REAL NAME: samantha 2. YOUR GANGSTA NAME:(first 3 letters of real name plus izzle): samizzle 3. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME: (fav color and fav animal): blue bear (or turtle) 4. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME: (middle name, and current street name): Ann Sammie 5. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 letters of your first name, last 3 letters of mom's maiden name): Russaerg 6. YOUR SUPERHERO NAME: (2nd favorite color, favorite drink): red gatorade 7. YOUR ARAB NAME: (2nd letter of your first name, 3rd letter of your last name, any letter of your middle name, 2nd letter of your mom's maiden name, 3rd letter of you dad's middle name, 1st letter of a sibling's first name, last letter of your mom's middle name): asnsnag 8. YOUR WITNESS PROTECTION NAME: (mother's middle name): Ann 9. YOUR GOTH NAME: (black, and the name of one your pets): black daisy MY LIFE IS AVERAGE: This is ALL me...i would do all this or i have done it... Today, my mom sent me a text message which ended in an "lol." I felt uncomfortable responding. Today I was in Tim Hortons with my mom. She was eating a chocolate walnut doughnut. She said "Mmmm I love nuts." I giggled. She didn't get it. Today, I got on an elevator alone. The door was still open so I pressed the "door close" button. I don't think the door closed any quicker but I felt good because I was in control. Today, I saw a guy I know working a cash register at Target. I purposely waited in the longer line to avoid an awkward encounter. Today, my mother told me to fold the clothes in the dryer since I had some spare time. I told her the clothes were still wet and restarted the timer. The clothes were dry; I just didn't want to fold them. She believed me. Today, I suddenly felt an itch on my leg. I freaked out thinking it was a spider and slapped my leg repeatedly. Turns out it was just one of my hairs. Today, I told everyone I blew off studying for my finals. I actually studied all night, but I needed an excuse in case I failed. Today, a friend asked me for a piece of gum. I told her I was chewing my last piece. I actually had more gum in my backpack. Today, I met a guy on a plane and we talked for the majority of the flight. At the end we said goodbye. We saw each other again while getting our bags, we both pretended not to notice so it wouldn't be awkward. Today, I was lonely and bored, so I thought I might play solitare to relieve the boredom. Then I realized that 'solitare' meant 'alone', so I felt even worse. Today I was lifeguarding. I told a kid to stop running, he continued to run and I pretended not to notice. He slipped and fell, I laughed. Today, I moved the furniture out of my room in order to paint it. While it was vacant, I noticed that there was a loud echo. I sat in an empty room for half an hour yelping and making funny noises just to hear the echo. Today I took out almost all the cookies in the cookie jar because the one at the bottom looked like it tasted better than the others. Today, I was taking a multiple choice test and the answers made a diagonal line. I was amused, then I got suspicious because that never happens so I went back to check my answers. Today, while filling out a security code it spelt out "hola", I felt like it was trying to tell me something. Today, my mom got a package. I helped her open it just so I could keep the bubble wrap and pop the bubbles. Today, while eating fruit salad, I stabbed the grape with my fork on the first try. I felt like a warrior. Today I was bored so I decided to look out the window at the rain like in all those movies. I was still bored. Today, I was lying in bed. I wanted to eat a bag of chips that were on the floor next to me. I spent five minutes trying to stretch my body so my arms could reach them instead of getting out of bed. It worked. Today, I was eating chicken fingers. There was only supposed to be six chicken fingers in the box, but I counted seven. I felt like I cheated the system until I realized I had miscounted. Today, while I was picking up an order at the drive-thru, the guy smiled and said, "Have a good day, sweetie." I felt loved. Today, I was stuck in traffic because of an accident up ahead. I loudly complained how traffic would go faster if people wouldn't slow down to look at the accident. As I drove by, I slowed down and looked at what was going on. Today, I was waiting at the bus stop and our bus driver was late. Her name is Waldo, so I said "Where's Waldo?" I laughed internally at my joke. Today, I decided to eat healthily for once. I felt inspired. At dinnertime, I opened the fridge. I found a cake. I ate 3/4 of it. Today, my brother asked what I'd done the night before. I said "your mom". Then it got awkward because I realized we had the same mom. Today, while I was getting dressed, I unintentionally matched my underwear with my bra. When I realized this, I got really excited, but then I realized I was the only one that would be seeing it. Last night I baked some cookies and the box told me to let them stand for 2-3 minutes before eating. I was hungry so I only waited 1 minute. They were still delicious and I didn't get burned. Today, I was too lazy to wash my pants, so I rubbed a dryer sheet on them before heading to work. When people commented on how fresh I smelled, I felt special. Today, I needed to walk across a one way street. I still looked both ways out of habit. Today, I heard a knock at the door. I looked out the window and saw a Fedex truck parked outside the house. I decided to wait until the delivery man was gone to get the package so I wouldn't have to interact with him. Today, I sneezed while I was alone. I blessed myself. Then I thanked myself. Today, my parents weren't home so I decided to blast my music, since they always tell me to turn it down. After about 5 minutes, I lowered the volume because it was too loud. Today, in the shower there was a hair on the wall. I didn't want to touch it so I got puddles of water and threw it at it in hope it would fall. It didn't. I then aimed the shower head at it. It fell. Today, I wanted to make bubbles, but was too lazy to blow them. I put the bubble wand in front of a fan. It worked and I was amused. Today, I was messing around on an electric keyboard and listening to the piano songs it had on it. My mom's friend was walking by as the song was playing from the keyboard, so I pressed some keys down to act like I was actually playing the song. She smiled and I felt like a pro. Today, my mom cooked us some alphabet nuggets. When I got my plate, it could spell my name. I looked over at my sister's, it couldn't spell anything. I felt that my mom loved me more than my sister. Today, my sister and I argued over who the cat loved more. She pet him and he ran away. I pet him and he purred. I laughed at my sister and he purred even more. I felt as if he was laughing with me. Today, I was at the grocery store putting items on the conveyor belt to check out. I hummed the Tetris song as I oriented groceries at 90 degree angles to each other and filled in the gaps. Today, I was playing sims. I looked at my clock and it was 5:23 pm. in my sims game it was also 5:23 pm. I was so excited I paused the game and took a picture with a time stamp to prove what happened when I told the story later to my friends. Today I went to a chinese buffet and thought I ate too much. As I was opening my fortune cookie, I read the message and it said "You will never, ever be hungry". I felt as if the cookie was verifying my thoughts. Today, I really hurt myself on the trampoline. Later, when I logged into Facebook, it suggested that I become a fan of trampolines. I felt like my computer was mocking me, but I became a fan anyways. Today, I was driving behind a Nissan. The tail lights and bumper made the back of the car look like an angry face. I pulled into the next lane behind a kinder looking Honda and felt like I was more accepted in this lane. I bought a pair of shorts from a second-hand store for 4. When I put them on and wore them, I found a 5 bill one of the pockets. I felt as if the pants were paying me to wear them. Today, I was eating oreos. There were only a couple left. I ate all but one because I was too lazy to throw the package away. Today, I read a book where the villain had the same name as a teacher I hate. Whenever something bad happened to the character, I laughed because my teacher totally deserved it. Today, I was using my toaster. As my anticipation grew, I manually popped out my toast, so it wouldn't scare me. Last night I was listening to my iPod in bed. The song switched to Thriller. When it says, "the midnight hour is drawing near" I looked at my clock. It was 11:58. I hid under my covers with my cat. Today, I left for school at the same time as my annoying neighbor. I went a different way than she did and I got there first. I felt satisfied. Yesterday I caught a fly with a fly catcher. It had been buzzing around my head and I couldn't sleep. Today, there are three flies in my bedroom, I feel they are avenging their friend. Today, while watching a movie, I saw the same exact year, model, and color of the truck I own. I now feel like my truck is a movie star. Today, I was in the car with my mom. I asked her to turn the heat up, I was sick, and had chills. She replied, "Buts it's at 69, just the way you like it". She then realized what she had said. It was awkward. and i'm the kind of girl that lies awake at night 33 Things to do in an Elevator: 14. When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you. hello daddy: one night a father overheard his son saying his prayers we do it in the bed, on the couch, on the table. heck! we even do it in the car! Take Time To Read Each Sentence This is this cat This is is cat This is how cat This is to cat This is keep cat This is a cat This is retard cat This is busy cat This is for cat This is forty cat This is seconds cat Now read the THIRD word of every line A teenage girl about 17 had gone to visit some friends one evening and time passed quickly as each shared their various experiences of the past year. She ended up staying longer than planned, and had to walk home alone. She wasn't afraid because it was a small town and she lived only a few blocks away. As she walked along under the tall elm trees, she asked God to keep her safe from harm and danger. When she reached the alley, which was a short cut to her house, she decided to take it. However, halfway down the alley she noticed a man standing at the end as though he were waiting for her. She became uneasy and began to pray, asking for God's protection. Instantly a comforting feeling of quietness and security wrapped round her, she felt as though someone was walking with her. When she reached the end of the alley, she walked right past the man and arrived home safely. The following day, she read in the newspaper that a young girl had been raped in the same alley just twenty minutes after she had been there. Feeling overwhelmed by this tragedy and the fact that it could have been her, she began to cry. Thanking the Lord for her safety and to help this young woman, she decided to go to the police station. She felt she could recognize the man, so she told them her story. The police asked her if she would be willing to look at a lineup to see if she could identify him. She agreed and immediately pointed out the man she had seen in the alley the night before. When the man was told he had been identified, he immediately broke down and confessed. The officer thanked her for her bravery and asked if there was anything they could do for her. She asked if they would ask the man one question. She was curious as to why he had not attacked her. When the policeman asked him, he answered, "Because she wasn't alone. She had two tall men walking on either side of her." You're never alone... Emmett's the Strongest, 9 Things I Hate (repost if you agree) 1 People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is, pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2 People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 3 When people say, "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too." Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it? 4 When people say, "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? 5 When people say while watching a film, "Did you see that?" No, loser, I paid 7 bucks to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor. 6 People who ask, "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya, sunshine? 7 When something is "new and improved." Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new. 8 When people say, "Life is short." What the hell? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does! What can you do that's longer? 9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came, honey, would I still be standing here? I don't think so. Blonde Things. Put a next to the ones you've done. I've done 35 out of 40 blonde things! i am a brunette but always get called a blonde Gum has fallen out of your mouth when you were talking A man walks into a bar with a box under his arm and sits down at the bar. The bartender asks the man "What is in the box", the man says "Inside this box is the most amazing thing you have ever seen, will ever see, and there is none other like it in the world". The bartender got exicted and said "Well open it, open up the box and let me see!" The man smiled and said "Alright, I'll show you what is in my box IF you give me free drinks for the rest of the night." The bartender thinks Well, I make good business I can afford to give this guy free drinks I guess. He says "Ok" and the man opens the box. Inside is a 10 Inch man on a piano, and he is just wailing on that thing playing his heart out. The bartender says "WOW that is the most amazing thing I've ever seen! Where did you get him?" The man holds up a lamp and says "I have this magic genie who will grant anyone one wish, anything they want in the world" The bartender looks in amazment and says "Well you've already made your 1 wish why not give it to me?" The man again smiled and said "Alright, I'll give it to you if you give me free drinks for the rest of my life" The bartender gets angry and says "No way man I cant give you free drinks for the rest of your LIFE I've got a business to run I'm trying to make money here!!" "Ok" the man says, and he gets up to walk out of the bar. The bartender thinks One wish, anything in the world that I want. Then he stops the man and says "Ok ok free drinks for the rest of your life just gimme the genie" He rubs the lamp and says "I wish I had a million bucks" All of the sudden his bar is just filled with ducks, I mean up to the brim! Then the bartender says "What the Heck man you didnt tell me your genie was hard of hearing!" The man says "Yea no one told me that eiather, you think I wished for a 10 inch Pianist?? COOL STUFF This has got to be one of the most clever DORMITORY: ASTRONOMER: DESPERATION: THE EYES: GEORGE BUSH: THE MORSE CODE : SLOT MACHINES: ELECTION - RESULTS: SNOOZE ALARMS: A DECIMAL POINT: THE EARTHQUAKES: ELEVEN PLUS TWO: Our Jasper, Who art in Forks, Hallowed be thy sparkles. Thy comes, thy will be fast, On Earth as it is in the baseball field. Give you this day, our daily blood; Forgive us our heartbeats, As we worship Maria for giving you life. Lead us into temptation, Deliver us to you. For thine is the vampire, The emotions and the hotness, For ever and ever. Amen! Well thats my profile. either you read it all or skipped it the end by the stories but either way!! ENJOY |
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