![]() Author has written 2 stories for Doctor Who, and Bendy and the Ink Machine. About me: I'm a seventeen year old girl with a love of words and a dislike of crowds. (Not people, crowds.) I'd rather read a book than go to a party, you'll find me doing my school instead of shopping. I like fantasy and thing that never could happen in real life; from ghosts and demons to crazy aliens in police boxes. I am the person…who only goes to school dances because my friends want me to, and when I do, I sit in a corner, reading. When I do dance, I dance all by myself, solo. I am the person who spends most of my time reading or writing, the person who everybody thinks is completely strange because I don’t care about sports all that much. I am the person who doesn’t spend every waking moment on Facebook, MySpace, or Yahoo, or talking on my cell all day with a friend. I am the person who has not only stopped to smell the flowers, but plant my own. I am the person who doesn’t care about other people’s opinions on my hair, or my clothes, or my ability in athletics. I am the person who likes to be called beautiful, but doesn’t need to be called beautiful. I am the person who can stop to appreciate the perfection of now because I’m not in a hurry to go to the future. WE are the people who believe in miracles, and wish that others around us would stop running so that they would have a moment to stop and appreciate the present time, because the present is what the name implies, a gift.Post this on your profile if you are like this, or want to be like this. At first I wasn’t sure, but help spread the beauty of this statement. PrettyFanGirl; Truth Be Told 13; DEFiiANCE; Angel of Apathy; Vic Taylor; Erma Buckles; butterfly1415; NotEverJulietNeedsARomeo (got this from fictionpress.net); Kisara the BlueEyesWhiteDragon; Atem's Sister Atea; QueenManaOfEgypt; Velgamidragon; Princess Atemna; AkixYusei, LoganTheJetPyschicDuelist, Fantasy is now Non-Fiction, DarkeArcanine, I Love Uta No Prince-Sama; Mai'shardstyle, 1eragon33, ItTicklesLikeCrazy, Gentle-Valara-Fox, Murphy's 15 Other Laws... 1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear 2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. 3. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 4. A day without sunshine is like. . . well, night. 5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. 6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't. 7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool. 8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting 9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, 10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it. 11. The things that come to those who wait, may be the things left by 12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish 13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries. 14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark. 15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdatnrd waht I was rdanieg. Professor Flitwick … does not know where Snow White is. Professor Snape … has no wish to get in touch with his ‘feminine side’. Professor Lupin … has no need for a flea collar. Ever. Professor Moody … the best ‘teaching’ Hoqwarts has seen in a while. Professor McGonagall … does not take herself too seriously. It is a bad idea to tell her. Professor Dumbledore … should be referred to as ‘Professor’, ‘Headmaster’ or ‘Sir’, not ‘Dude’, ‘My Leige’ or ‘Tim the Enchanter’. Harry Potter … is more Emo than Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy … disagrees. Hermione Granger … has PMS and a wand. Ron Weasley … is very afraid. Luna Lovegood … is perfectly sane, thanks very much. Ginny Weasley … wants her Hogwarts toilet seat. Fred Weasley … knows if he and his twin giggle at an idea for more than fifteen seconds, they may assume that it’s against the rules and therefore should not carry it out. George Weasley … knows he and his twin will carry it out and are not remotely sorry. Lily Evans … swears she is not in love with James Potter. James Potter … doesn’t believe her. Remus Lupin … would prefer less jokes about ‘his time of the month’. Sirius Black … killed by drapery. Andromeda Black … is going to marry a muggle – screw the consequences. Bellatrix Black … is quietly going insane. Narcissa Black … would like a new hairbrush. Voldemort … does not think it would be funny if HP were to put on earmuffs and pulled out a mandrake in his presence. Gryffindors … will jump off a cliff. Slytherins … will push someone else off. Hufflepuffs… will call five hundred others and build a staircase. Ravenclaws … will get hold of a flying carpet. Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts: 1) Seamus Finnigan is not after me lucky charms 2) I will not sing "We're Off to See the Wizard" when sent to the Headmaster's office. 3) I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class 4) I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss 5) Professor Flitwick's first name is not Yoda 6) Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar 7) First years are not allowed to be fed to Fluffy 8) I will not make any jokes about Lupin and his "time of the month" 9) I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they're real animals 10) I will not sing the Badger Song during Hufflepuff-Slytherin quidditch matches 12) When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout "To the Batmoblie, Robin!" 13) When a class-mate falls asleep, I shall not take advantage of the fact and draw a Dark Mark on his arm. 14) It's not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes house points from Gryffindor 15) Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is simply coincidental 16) I will not refer to the Weasley Twins as "bookends" 17) I will not scare the Arithmancy students with my Calculus book. 18) I will not hold my wand in the air before I casting spells shouting "I got the power!" 19) Its not necessary for me to yell "Bamf!" everytime I apparate. 20) I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music when wandering the halls. 21) "To conquer the earth with flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice. 22) I am not allowed to make lightsaber sounds with my wand. 23) I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue and call them smurfs. 24) I will not slip Malfoy a Love Potion in his morning goblet of Pumpkin Juice. 25) I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life" to Voldemort. 26) Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from The Phantom of the Opera. 27) I will not refer to the Accio charm as "the Force". 28) I will not call Dumbledore "Santa Claus!" during the Christmas Holidays. 29) I will not put Muggle fairy book in the History section at the library. 30) I will not send Snape a bottle of shampoo for Christmas. 31.)I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore". 32.)House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers. 33.) Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept. 34.)I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause. 35.) I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord. 36.)I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing. 37.) I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it. 38.)I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice. 39.) I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro. 40.) I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class. 41.)The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid. 42.)I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets". 43.)When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts. 44.)Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either. 45.)A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly. 46.) Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy. “ 47.)I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death. 48.). I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord. 49.)Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny. 50.)Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient. 51.)Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists. 52.)I may not have a private army. 53.) I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate. 54.)Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy. 55.)I am not the wicked witch of the west. 56.) -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either. 57.) I will not melt if water is poured over me. 58.) -Neither will Professor Umbridge. 59.)I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors. 60.)I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose. 61.) I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover. 62.) I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them. 63.) - Especially not all of them at once. 64.) I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts." 65.) I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos." 66.)Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'. 67.)I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter. 68.)When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'. 69.)Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'. 70.)The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smarts and the Junior Death Eaters. 71.)I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort. 72.)Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not be improved by the introduction of muggle firearms. 73.)Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either. 74.)I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins. 75.)I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes. 76.)I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing. 77.)I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'. 78.)I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father. 79.)Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka. 80.)Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles. 81.) I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter. 82.)Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin". 83.)I will not play the Imperial March theme for Professor Snape. 84.). - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it. 85.)If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume. 86.) I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes. 87.)I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either. 88.)I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron. 89.)I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times. 90.)It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says All the good looking ones die young with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it. 91.)I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade 92.)I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry 93.)I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall 94.) I am not allowed to claim that growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is "Extra Herbology Work." 95.) I will not use my socks to make hand-puppets of the Slytherin-House mascot. 96.) If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for more than 15 seconds, assume that I am not allowed to use it. 97.) I will not lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and bet on which House will come out alive. 98.) I will not charm the suits of armor to do a rendition of "The Knights of the Round Table" for the Christmas Feast. 99.) I am not allowed to declare an official "Hug A Slytherin Day." 100.) I will never ask Harry if his Voldie senses are tingling. 101.)I will not steal Gryffindor's sword from Dumbledore's office and use it to patrol the hallways. 102.) I will not dress up as Voldemort on Halloween. 103.) It is a bad idea to tell Snape he takes himself to seriously. 104.) I will not tell Sir Cadogan that The Knight's Who Say Ni have challenged him to a duel, then have all the students say, 'Ni' from various directions. 105.) I am not the King of the Potato People and I do not have a flying carpet. 106.) I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes.” 107.) I will not dress up as Voldemort for Halloween. 108.) I will not call Professor McGonagall “McGoogles”. 109.) I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rocks series during Arithmacy exams. 110.) Dumbledore is not Gandalf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts. 111.) There is no such thing as the chamber of Double Secret Probation. 112.) My name is not “the Dark Lord Happy-Pants” I am not allowed to sign my papers as such. 113.) Bringing fortune cookies to divination class does not count for extra credit. 114.) I will not douse Harry Potter’s invisibility cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible while wearing it and standing by the fire in the common room. 115.) I will not tell first years they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow. 116.) I will not teach the house elves to impersonate Jar Jar Binks. 117.) I will not give Gryffindors pixie sticks. 118.) I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbot, and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles. 119.) A time turner is not a flux capacitator I should therefore not try to install it in a muggle car. 120.) I shall not refer to DADA professors as canaries in a coal mine. 121.) When fighting deatheaters in the annual June good vs. evil fight I will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can only be ONE”. 122.) A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or playing drums no matter how bored I become. 123.) It is generally accepted that cats and dragons can not interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the results would be. 124.) 42 is not the answer to every question on the O.W.L.S. 125.) I am allowed to have a cat, rat, toad, or an owl. I am not allowed to have reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or piranha. 126.) No matter how good an Australian accent I can do I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class. 127.) I will not refer to the Defense against the Dark arts professor as Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak. 128.) I will break every single rule on this list as soon as I get to Hogwarts On a Myer hairdryer: "Do not use while sleeping". On a bag of Chips: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. On a bar of Palmolive soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap". On some frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost". On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down". On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating". On packaging for a K-Mart iron: "Do not iron clothes on body". On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication". On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness". On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only". On a Japanese food processor:"Not to be used for the other use". On Nobby's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts". On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts". On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly .: FIRE:. You have a short temper. TOTAL: 1 .:WATER:. You have a calm, laid-back personality. TOTAL: 6 .:EARTH:. You are physically strong. TOTAL: 4 .:AIR:. You have a free spirit. TOTAL: 6 .: DARKNESS:. You spend most of your time alone. TOTAL: 5 .:LIGHT:. You are very polite. TOTAL: 6 Fire: 1 Water: 6 Earth: 4 Air: 6 Darkness: 4 Light: 6 |
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