This is what? My bazillions times changing my profile? Hn, I don't really know...

Okay, so let's just start over with my information, shall we?

Name: You don't need to know this

Date of Birth: Some day in the year

Age: Older than ten but younger than eighty

Sex: Are you suggesting something? Because I really am not interested...

Hair: I did try to count once. But I gave up after a while. There are too many...

Eye: Two, of course. What do you expect? Three?

Health condition: Have to visit the hospital every once in a while. And have to stay there for a few days.

Mental condition: Escapee from the mental asylum downtown... Oops, did I just tell you that?

Things I just recently realize:

Okay, so I just found this game called Undertale, and to me, it's the best game ever! It's the only game so far that managed to make me feel guilty for killing someone (for those who know me, they would know I have the tendency to kill off every character in every game that allows me to kill, and I would laugh maniacally when doing so), and yes, I aborted the Genocide Route. Thrice! The first time was after I killed Toriel. After that, I gave up after killing Papyrus. The third time was after bazillion attempts to get past Sans' first attack (that shit is hard to beat, man). Eventually, I managed to finish this route, and got to meet Chara! Damn, I love them so much. Still felt very guilty for killing everyone, but at least I got to meet my favorite CHARActer.

I'm not sorry for what I just did. 8P

Anyway, today, I'm here to talk about a couple of things I just realize about Undertale. So yeah, let's get to it:

1. There are two types of people: those who love Undertale, and those who don't.

2. For those who don't, there are also two types: those who dislike it, and those who downright hate it. (For the latter of the two: I don't want to receive any crap from you! So, you just stay over there and hate Undertale, while I stay here and love it, and we are all well and good, okay?)

3. For those who love Undertale, there are also two types: the first are those who believe Chara is the villain of the game, while the second thinks the players are the real villains, and Chara is good (can you guess which type I am?)

4. Speaking of Chara, there are other two types of people when it comes to them: those who pronounce their name as /tʃɑːrə/ and those who either pronounce it as /ˈkærə/ or /ˈkarə/ (yeah, I pronounce their name like 'character', alright)

Okay, that's enough for now.

If you've ever been so obsessed with something that now everyone is scared of you because of its effects, copy this into your profile.

If there are times when you wanna annoy people just for the heck of it, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this into your profile.

If you have ever gotten so completely sidetracked in a conversation that you don't remember why you were talking in the first place, copy this into your profile.

If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever forgotten what you were going to say, right before you say it, copy this into your profile.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile.

If you have ever pushed a door that said pull or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile.

92 percent of American teens would die if Abercombie and Fitch told them it was uncool to breathe. Copy this in your profile if you would be the 8 percent that would be laughing your head off!

It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.

If you find yourself caught up in a misunderstanding that could be cleared up quickly with a simple explanation, for goodness sake, keep your mouth shut.

One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them than 20 men firing at one man.

If a fork were made of gold would it still be called silver ware?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, how can it be good to 'quit while your ahead’?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?

You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?

If every time you hear the word rum, you automatically think of Captain Jack Sparrow, copy and paste this into your profile

If you and/or your best friend is insane, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever laughed so hard you either choked, hyperventalated, had your sides cramp, or all of the above copy and paste this on your profile.

If you're against animal cruelty (horse slaughter, bear beating, dolphin hunting, chimp slavery etc. then copy this into your profile!

If you avoid teen fads and don't live your life according to others copy and paste this.

If you have ever listened to the same song for over an hour straight, copy and paste this onto your profile.

You've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy and paste this onto your profile

If you have/had a scary crush on a book, anime, or game character, then copy and post this into your profile.

If you like being random copy and paste this in your profile

If you love irritating people with these annoying copy and paste things, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you think those stupid kids should just let the poor Lucky Charms leprecon eat his breakfast, copy and paste this onto you profile.

If you have ever had done something or said something that made perfect sense to your real friends and only caused your "peers" to look at you strangely and roll their eyes, copy and paste this into your profile

If your profile is long, copy and paste this on it to make it even longer.

If you have ever zoned out for more than five consecutive minutes, copy this into your profile.

If you hate child abuse and want it to STOP, copy and past this on your profile

If you have ever choked on air (or any other substance you thought impossible to choke on), copy this in your profile.

If you've ever copied and pasted something onto your profile, copy and paste this onto your profile.

f you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you actually take the time to read other peoples profiles, copy this to yours. (most of the time)

I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do...

If you have ever just wanted to SLAP someone, copy this onto your profile. (all the time...)

If you're a girl and get sick and tired of guys assuming that you're weak and can't fight, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever sung a song you hated so much, copy and paste this into your profile

If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If you think that being unique is cooler than being cool, copy this on your profile.

If you are obsessed with fanfiction copy this into your profile.

If you think that life without computers is useless then copy this to your profile.

If you've ever had conversations with yourself then cried about them copy and paste this in your profile (ive done this so many times it scary...)

If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile. (But I want more than just 2…)

If you are part of the .0000001 percent of people who don't have a MySpace, copy this onto your profile

Recent studies show that 92 percent of teenagers have moved on to rap. If you're part of the 8 percent that hasn't, put this in your profile.

If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile.

If you've ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste this one your profile.

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song randomly, copy/paste this into your profile.

If you have ever thought of something funny, started laughing, and fell & hit your head on something hard, and ended up laughing harder than you were before, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you are crazy and proud of it copy and paste this onto your profile.

If someone has ever said something to you that had nothing to do with your current conversation, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you KNOW the voice in your head are real, copy and paste this onto your profile!

If you have inside jokes...with yourself...copy and paste this into your profile.

If you know someone who should be run over by a bus, copy this to your profile.

If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile (the word... was MY! WOW, im hopeless)

Most people would be offended if someone asked them what was wrong with their mind. copy this into your pro if you would be one of the few people that would answer, "where to begin?"

If you are in lala land most of the time copy this into your profile.

If several inanimate objects hate you copy and paste this into your profile.

If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you ever felt like killing someone or more than one person because they wouldn't leave you alone when you told them not to distract you because you were busy copy this into your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile (yeah lets go with sometimes...)

If you are random and don't care, copy and paste this onto your profile.

If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile.

Admitting you are weird means you are normal. Saying that you are normal is odd. If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy this onto your profile.

If you've walked under something that was about two feet above your head and ducked anyway copy and paste this is your profile (makes me feel taller)

If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile.

If ever there was a time where you asked yourself "Who was the first person on FanFiction EVER to write something on their profile and then add 'copy and paste this on your profile'" or something similar to it copy and paste this on your profile and sit there and wonder

If you are addicted to fanfiction copy this to your profile!

If you have EVER yelled at a TV after getting frustrated at someone who can't hear you, put this on your profile.

If you have ever said that an anime character is sexy and you love them and you mean it, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you're obsessed with writing/reading fanfictions, copy and paste this.

If you'd rather search all over the house for the remote than just push the button on the tv, copy and paste this.

If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile

If you have ever run into a tree, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped down the stairs, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever tripped UP the stairs, copy this onto your profile

If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile

I OWE MY MOTHER

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE "If you're going
to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION "You better pray that will come out of
the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL "If you don't straighten up,
I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC " Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT "Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY "Keep crying, and I'll give you something
to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS "Shut your mouth
and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM "Will you look at that dirt
on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA"You'll sit there until all that
spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER "This room of yours looks as if
a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY "If I told you once, I've told
you a million times. Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE "I brought you into this
world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION "Stop acting like
your father!"

15. My mother taught me about ENVY " There are millions of less
fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16 My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION "Just wait until we get
home."

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING "You are going to get it when
you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE "If you don't stop crossing
your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."

19. My mother taught me ESP "Put your sweater on; don't you think I
know when you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR "When that lawn mower cuts off your
toes, don't come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT "If you don't eat your
vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS "You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS "Shut that door behind you. Do
you think you were born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM "When you get to be my age, you'll
understand."

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE. "One day you'll
have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you".

REASONS TO JOIN THE DARK SIDE (If you wish to join add this list to your profile):

1. We have cookies (last I checked there was hot chocolate too)

2. Meet the recruitment bunny!

3. You get a cool dark cape that covers your whole body!

4. You get a really cool crazy laugh! Practice with me, people: MWA HAHAHAHA cough cough!

5. You get to walk out of shadows mysteriously and freak out the good guys!

6. One word: UNDERLINGS! Someone to get things for you when you're too lazy to do them yourself... Now that's the life!

7. Money, Money, Money : Ever notice that we are usually much richer than the good guys?

8. WORLD DOMINATION! Most PWNZORS reason!

REASONS NOT TO JOIN THE GOOD SIDE (If you wish to join the dark side add this list to your profile.)

1. You can't live in the same place for long because you have to run from the DARK SIDE.

2. Do not be fooled. After you get recruited by some stranger you will not feel good.

3. You have to wear your underwear after you put on your pants.

4. You stop for a laugh, you DIE.

5. You get freaked out by a guy from the dark side who'll walk towards you out of the shadows.

6. You have to do everything yourself. Too much work.

7. You'll be very poorer than the guys in the DARK SIDE.

8. You have to save the world from being DOMINATED by the DARK SIDE.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot.

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself.

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else.

After uttering a profound peice of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffine

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then dissappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

And FINALLY, the one way to tell if you're a good writer: You failed English 101.

Female Comebacks

Man: Have I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours and I go to mines.

Man: Hey baby, whats your sign?
Woman: Do not enter.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: If I could see you naked I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked I'd die laughing.

Man: So what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u next to i
Woman: Really? I'd put f and u together.

Truths Of The World

Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.

Evening news is where they begin by saying "Good Evening" then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

It's a beautiful day, now watch some idiot screw it up.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

The dinosaurs' extinction wasn't an accident. Barney came and they all commited suicide.

Everything here is edible. I'm edible, but that is called cannibalism and is frowned upon in most societies.

It's always the last place you look...of course it is, why the heck would I keep looking after I found it?

They say hard work never hurts anybody, but why take the chance.

The past always seems longer than the present and the future is eternally long.

Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them.

Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed.

There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots.

Favorite Quotes

"You and I are friends. You smile, I smile...You cry I cry...You hurt, I hurt... You jump off a bridge... I'm gonna laugh my arse off."

"A man is like a deck of playing cards. You need a heart to love him, a diamond to marry him, a club to hit him and a spade to bury him.”

“We live in a society where pizza gets here faster than the police.”

“Good friends don’t let you do stupid things…alone.”

“I always arrive late to work. I make up for it by leaving early.”

“Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”

“Have I ever been wrong? I mean when it’s important.”

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!"

"Oh, so they have Internet on computers now"

"Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2"

"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try."

"We are all like fireworks. We climb, shine, and always go our separate ways and become further apart. But even if that time comes, let's not disappear like a firework, and continue to shine... forever."

"Believe in yourself, and create your own destiny. Don't fear fate."

"The will to live is stronger then anything."

"I've lived my life, I've won my dreams, and I don't have any regrets."

"Be yourself, everyone else is taken."

"Dream like you'll live forever, live like you'll die tomorrow."

"We all have our demons to face."

"Life is a journey, so travel together and help each other out."

"Whether it's believing or anything else, you never know until you try."

"Don't let people you hate hurt you, what importance to you are they anyway?!"

"One must have the courage to say 'no' even at the risk of displeasing others."

"There is no one who does not carry scars on their heart. If there were someone in the world like that he would be a shallow bastard."

"You can always die. It's living that takes real courage."

"This is your life, are you who you wanna be?"

"You don't have to force your smiles for anyone. It's okay to smile for yourself."

"If an enemy captures you, you're as good as dead."

"People have a life, It's just that they have to borrow someone elses and screw theirs up. So don't bother me if you want to screw with my life. Cuz I'm just gonna slap you then leave.End of discussion."

"When rain falls from the sky, It's not because the clouds are crying.It's just that someone's heart has been broken by someone else and they're crying."

"Nyeh! Nyeh! Nyeh! Can't take it? Here we go again...NYEH NYEH NYEH NYEH!!!"

"Go cheer someone else up. Emo people don't need this."

"Go cry me a river.Maybe one day it'll be named after me too."

"Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!"

"I never know what I'm doing. But that's what life's all about, right?"

"There is no such thing as coincidence in this world. There is only the inevitable"

"No matter how small the problem is, how small the thing is, it will always effect the people around you"

"When one sacrifices oneself to help another, it could actually be painful to the person being helped, especially when that person is of importance to them"

"There are two memories. Memories of the heart and memories of the body. The heart is important but the body is really important as well. Sometimes, even if the heart forgets, the body remembers"

"Everybody relates to others and share something with them. That's why we can never truly be free. That's what make us feel joy, sadness and love"

"You should never fall for someone who isn't willing to catch you."

“Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”

“The closer you are to the light, the larger the darkest becomes.”

“If you really love something, you would set it free... or crimple it so it can’t escape.”

"Screw the rules. I have money."

"Holy mother of Ra!"

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. When caught sleeping at school/work/wherever you are not supposed to be sleeping, and you are woken up, shout, "AMEN!"

5.Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6.In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write For Marijuana

7.Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.

9. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11.Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

18. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner,'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

20 And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity, Copy and Paste this To Make People who read bios Smile.

I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors,why can't paper do this to people? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors I always choose rock.Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, oh shit, I'm sorry I thought paper would protect you, asshole.

I am on a quest to the deepest, darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for I may not return alive.

What to Do During an Exam

1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"

2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is.

3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level.

4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.

5. Run into the exam room looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say "They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.

6. 15 min. into the exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into the air and yell out "Merry Christmas." If you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first one. Repeat this process every 15 min.

7. Come into the exam wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.

8. Come down with a BAD case of Tourette's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as possible.

9. Bring things to throw at the instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the person nearest to you.

10. As soon as the instructor hands you the exam, eat it.

11. Every 5 min. stand up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue with the exam.

12. Turn in the exam approx. 30 min. into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy it was.

13. Get the exam. 20 min into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Screw this!" and walk out triumphantly.

14. Arrange a protest before the exam starts (ie. Threaten the instructor that whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go ice skating.)

15. Show up completely insane (completely insane means at some point during the exam, you should start crying for mommy).

16. Comment on how sexy the instructor is looking that day.

17. Come to the exam wearing a black cloak. After about 30 min, put on a white mask and start yelling "I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.

18. If the exam is math/sciences related, make up the longest proofs you could possible think of. Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam, relate everything to your own life story.

19. Try to get people in the room to do a wave.

20. Bring some large, cumbersome, ugly idol. Put it right next to you. Pray to it often. Consider a small sacrifice. (I would never do that.)

21. During the exam, take apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.

22. Puke into your exam booklet. Hand it in. Leave.

23. Take 6 packages of rice cakes to the exam. Stuff at least 2 rice cakes into your mouth at once. Chew, then cough. Repeat if necessary.

24. Act spazzy

25. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About 5 min into it, loudly say to the instructor, "I don't understand ANY of this. I've been to every lecture all semester long! What's the deal? And who the heck are you? Where's the regular guy?"

26. Do the entire exam in another language. If you don't know one, make one up!

27. Bring a black marker. Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.

28. Every now and then, clap twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"

29. From the moment the exam begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling the theme to the Bridge on the River Kai.

30. After you get the exam, call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to work it out of him/her.

31. In the middle of the test, have a friend rush into the classroom, tag your hand, and resume taking your test for you. When the teacher asks what's going on, calmly explain the rules of Tag Team Testing to him/her.

32. Bring cheat sheets FOR ANOTHER CLASS (make sure this is obvious... like history notes for a calculus exam... otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes for references as you see fit."

33. Stand up after about 15 minutes, and say loudly, "Okay, let's double-check our answers! Number one, A. Number two, C. Number three, E..."

34. Fake an heart attack. When interrupted, apologize, and explain that question #_ moved you, deeply.

35. Wear a superman outfit under your normal clothes. 30 minutes into the exam, jump up and answer your phone, shouting "What? I'm on my way!!". rip off your outer clothes and run out of the room. Strike a pose first for added effect.

36. Tailgate outside the classroom before the exam.

37. If your answers are on a scan tron sheet, fill it out in pen.

38. Bring a giant cockroach into the room and release it on a girly-girl nearby.

39. Complete the exam with everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.

40. Bring one pencil with a very sharp point. Break the point off your pencil. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat this process for one hour.

41. Make Strange noises... get people to stare... look at the person next to you as if he/she did it.

42. Dress like the professor.

43. Cross-Dress.

44. Use Invisible Ink to answer the whole exam.

45. Order catering. The catering company should come in about halfway through the test, and should include at least three waiters, eight carts of food, and five candelabras.

10 Ways To Be S-T-U-P-I-D:

1. Ask For Directions To A Place Youre Already At.

2. Try To Order Pizza From McDonalds.

3. Get Hit By A Parked Car.

4. Try To Watch Saturday Cartoons On A Thursday.

5. Try To Sell Your Money.

6. Try To Play The Alphabet On The Piano.

7. Eat All You Can Eat At A Store.

8. Get Into A Fight With Yourself And Lose.

9. Try To Go Swimming Without Getting Wet.

10. Ask For Diet Water At A Restaurant

TO ANNOY YOUR PARENTS!

1. Follow them around the house everywhere.

2. Moo when they say your name.

3. Pretend to have amnesia.

4. Say everything backwards.

5. Run into walls.

6. Say that wearing clothes is against your religion.

7. Go into their room at 4 in the morning and say "Good Morning Sunshine!"

8. Snort loudly when you laugh and then laugh harder.

9. Say all of the words in a film.

10. Pluck someone's hair out and yell "DNA!"

11. Wear a sticker that says "I'm retarded!"

12. Talk to a pen.

13. Have 20 imaginary friends that you talk to ALL the time.

14. Try and climb the wall.

15. In public yell "NO MUM I WILL NOT KISS YOU!"

16. Put pegs on your nose and eyes.

17. Switch the light button on and off for awhile. Then say "Oh...I get it!"

18. Eat your hair.

19. When you shower or bath yell "I'm drowning!"

20. At everything they say yell "LIAR!"

21. Pretend to be a phone.

22. Try to swim in the floor.

23. Tap on their door all night.

Mental Hospital Phone Menu:

Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital!

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.

I hate Twilight. 97% of the teens would cry if they saw Robert Pattison (Edward Cullen from twilight) standing on top of a skyscraper, about to jump. . . . are you one of the 3% who would sit, eating popcornscreaming "DO A BACK FLIP YOU SPARKLY RETARD!"???

I'm bored. Run for your sanity.

When life gives you lemons,make grape juice, then sit back and let the world wonder how the freakin' hell you did it!

They say love hides behind every corner. I must be walking in circles!

I hear voices, and they don't like you.

Heaven kicked me out. Hell was afraid I'll take over.

Chaos. Panic. Disorder. My work here is done.

My imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.

Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.

Most people learn by observation, and there are the few who learn by experimentation. And then there are those who actually TOUCH the fire to see if it's really hot..

What's the matter with gravity?

I smile because I have no idea what's going on!

Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to.

I'm not insane... I just do whatever the voices tell me to.

If all else fails, destroy all evidence that you tried.

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

The person who smiles when things go wrong has found someone to blame it on.

Better to stay silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.

Never argue with an idiot. They'll just drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Normal people scare me...but not as much as I scare them.

Even if the voices aren't real, they have some good ideas.

Fighting is mind over matter. I don't mind, and you don't matter.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

They say guns don't kill people; people do. Well, I think guns help. I mean, if you just stood there and yelled 'BANG!' I don't think you'd kill many people...

Just when I think you've said the stupidest thing ever you just keep on talking.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.

Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

I'm not as dumb as you look.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

Sarcasm is one more service we offer.

Hate is just a special kind of love we give to people who suck.

I used to have super powers, but then my therapist took them away.

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

Some people are like slinkies. They seem to have no purpose, but they still bring you a smile when you push them down the stairs.

Love your enemies. It gets them really confused.

Silence is golden but duct tape is silver.

Writing isn't a career, it's more of a mental illness.

Flying is simple, you just throw yourself at the ground and miss.

Some say the glass is half full, some say it's half empty, I say, "Are you gonna drink that?"

All people have the right to stupidity but some people abuse the privilege.

Where there's a will...I want to be in it.

Do not disturb, I'm disturbed already.

Don't piss me off, I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

In order to lose your mind, you have to have one in the first place.

I've learned from my mistakes, and I'm sure I could repeat them exactly.

You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted and used against you.

An optimist is someone who falls off the empire state building and after 50 floors says "So far so good!"

Crazy is staying up all night just to finish watching a series you love. Crazy is wishing you could create a portal to the cartoon world so that you could bring back a few characters for yourself.

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know it, so it keeps flying anyway.

A day without sunshine is like... night.

Live fast, die young, and leave a mutilated unidentifiable corpse behind. And then, when no one's paying attention, assume the previous life of that corpse. Repeat as necessary.

When a serial killer breaks into your house you shouldn't freak out and go all horror movie victim. Instead, you should try to out physco the psycotic killer and do something like take a knife from the kitchen put on creepy music, put on your most fancy formal dress, take a chair and drag it to the middle of the room and when the killer comes tilt your head to the side, smile and say "I've been waiting for you" then while he/she is trying to process the information do a girly giggle that turns into a full out maniacal laugh. And if your a guy... well it would work even better. Or you could do broadway show tunes and dance like the rockettes.

My favourite colours are black and white, because they are the most interesting colours. Both are not really considered colors, neither can be found in a rainbow and one is the combination of all colors and the other is the lack of all colors. All animals can see black and white (except blind animals. but that's not the point) but a few such as cats and dogs can't see other colors.

For me a little joke goes a long way. as in I'll be laughing at a joke for weeks at random intrevals. I think this is due to the millions of completely unrelated and random thoughts passing through my head at like a million thoughts per second, most pass by too quickly to be properly processed which explains why I can't remember stuff when I need to. Crap, I just lost the game.

When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear.

Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD/MOM.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Will sit next to you saying “Damn … we fucked up … but that shit was fun!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never seen you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Can write a book about you, with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME!”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for awhile.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you’ve had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say “Bitch, drink the rest of that, you know we don’t waste.”

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say they are too busy to listen to your problems, but when it comes to them they expect you to have all the time in the world.
REAL FRIENDS: Not only kick everything out of their schedule to listen to whats wrong, but help come up with vindictive plans to make you feel a whole lot better!

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Say sorry when you want to talk to them at odd hours of the night, or even just hang out at odd hours.
REAL FRIENDS: Come right over and hang out with you, until you either fall asleep, or kick them out.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will ignore this
REAL FRIENDS: Will repost this.

Things to do at Wal-Mart

1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

17. Challenge people to duels in the back aisles with wrapping paper tubes.

18. Have a conversation with yourself loud enough so that people in the other aisles can hear you.

19. Throw things over one aisle into another one.

20. Mark out price tags with a sharpie

Ways to Scare your roommates

7) Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon..."

6) Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room. Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.

5) Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you." Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.

4) While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.

3) Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say, "Hey, where the heck is my sandwich?" Complain loudly that you are hungry.

2) Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes. Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be going somewhere?"

1) Talk back to your Rice Krispies. All of a sudden, act offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."

This is weird, but interesting! If you can raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too. Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed erveylteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Paste this to your profile if you can read this!

22 things to do in a lift

1. CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"
2. STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.
3. WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.
4. GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.
5. MEOW occasionally.
6. STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly
7. SAY -DING at each floor.
8. SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.
9.MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
10. STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."
11. WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"
12. TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.
13. DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."
14. WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.
15. PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
16. ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.
17. HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"
18. DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"
19. BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.
20. PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.
21. SWAT at flies that don't exist.
22. CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Things I Hate About Everyone

1.People who point at their wrist while asking for the time... I know where my watch is pal, where the heck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?
2. People who are willing to get off their butt to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.
3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Darn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?
4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the heck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this?5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid twelve dollars to come to the cinema and stare at the floor.
6 People who ask "Can I ask you a question?"... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine
7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.
8 When people say "life is short". What the heck?? Life is the longest thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?
9 When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbhead?

A Few Words to those who...

Play Favorites: GROW UP!!! What are you, two? People aren't like toys! You can't just say that these people are your favorite people just beacuse. Stop it! It's so annoying!

Are Sexist:Who do you think you are?! Everyone can do everything if they want to, so just shut up and deal with it!

Can't Keep Their Mouths Shut: I don't know what to say to you other than LEARN SOME SELF CONTROL! You can't just blab everything you hear to all your friends! That's not how it works, so deal with it!

Have Big Dreams: Keep doing what you can. You'll get there someday!

Lead Others: Stand your ground and lead on! Also, in the wise words of Journey, DON'T STOP BELIEVING!!!

Are different: Never try to blend in. Stay true, stay you. Don't stay with the crowd, leave them behind. Just be different!

Write Stories: Keep on writing, everyone! If you get a bad review, then in the words of Phil Collins, don't listen to them, 'cause what do they know? Never give up on your stories, and stay true to your plot. Don't EVER stop writing completely!

Are an Older Sibling: Guide them to happy future and be the best role model you can be, (And don't beat them up for candy -_-)

Pick on others: Just stop! Why Just because you're jealous, or you have to let out your anger. Leave your personal problems at home, and if not speak to someone and solve them.

Repost this if you agree, and add on to it if you have something to say to someone.