"Your brain is full of kelp."

Hi. I'm Mel.

Things to do on an Elevator

1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

5) MEOW occasionally.

6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

7) SAY -DING at each floor.

8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

18) DROP a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.

Ways to make sure you're insane

At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

Page yourself over the intercom and don't disguise your voice.

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy".

Ask your dog if it's comfortable with it's name. Repeat with cat, until people ask if you're alright.

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go".

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because your not in the mood.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON! I WON!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, "Run for your lives! They're loose!"

If you ever tripped where there was a WATCH YOUR STEP SIGN, copy and paste this onto your profile.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE AN AUTHOR IF...

You talk to yourself a lot. (A lot meaning all the time...)

You talk to yourself about talking to yourself. (e.g. 'Why do I constantly ask my self random things?')

When you talk to yourself you often talk to yourself like you're talking to someone else. (e.g. 'Have you ever noticed that deliver could mean someone's liver?')

After uttering a profound piece of wisdom like that above, you stare at the cookie in your hand with awe and say, "Wow, this stuff is great for sugar highs...'

You live off of sugar and caffeine. (the two greatest things ever discovered!)

You'll check your e-mail every day of the week and then disappear off the face of the earth.

You're e-mails tend to be pages long and incredibly random.

When replying to an e-mail, you'll never actually address the point of it.

You tend to collect Bic Stics off the ground like picking pennies off the ground.

No matter where you are in a room you never have to get up to find a pen/pencil and paper.

The letters on your keyboard are wearing off.

Your friends and family think that you have carpal tunnel syndrome.

People think you have A.D.D.

You think it'd be cool to have A.D.D.

You constantly start talking in third person, present or past tense.

You start thinking about making lists like this and start giggling for no "apparent" reason

Your friends stopped looking at you funny when you laugh for no apparent reason a loooooong time ago.

15 Things to do in Walmart

1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, " 'Code 3' in housewares"... and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.

5. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.

10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look".

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"

13. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream, "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!

15. Grab a lot of bouncy balls and throw them down the aisle, shouting "Go, Pikachu, go!"

1. Do not introduce self as a role-playing character in public.

2. Do not talk to fictional characters in public.

3. Do not answer fictional characters in public.

4. Do not talk to inanimate objects in public.

5. Do not go out in public.

6. Disregard above note. Perform numbers 1 to 4.

7. Note expressions.

8. Don't die alone. Take many people with you.

9. Floor is slippery when wet.

10. Lake is slippery when dry.

11. Only talk to strangers you know.

12. Strangers you don't know are spies. Kill them all.

13. For legal purposes, be sure to delete above note.

14. Tell people about the spies that are trying to kill you.

15. Kill them for security purposes.

16. Crying does not solve anything. Try violent mood swings.

17. Make a scene whenever humanly possible.

18. The men in white coats are not your friends.

19. Ask them for a room with lots of sharp, pointy objects.

20. When that doesn't work, ask for a designer jacket.

21. Chicken soup, although good for colds, is not the best cure for drowning.

22. Flammable and inflammable mean the same thing.

23. Unlike fine wine, milk does not get better with age.

24. Always remember, um... um...

25. Train an army of flying monkeys.

26. Goldfish don't like milk.

27. Do not maim people. If you already have, kill them to avoid lawsuits.

28. Find out who invented the word "pianist."

29. People are staring at you.

30. So act insane.

31. People are weird, but not as weird as me.

32. Do not taunt animals at zoo. They have feelings... and teeth.

33. The Tiny Children are aggressive. Stay away from them, and do not give them candy, even on Halloween.

34. Going through other people's stuff is a bonding experience. Do this as much as possible.

35. You'll sometimes notice shadows late at night. Don't worry. It's only me... bonding.

36. Never pet a burning dog.

37. Never make eye contact with a naked man - especially not if you are wearing a parka.

38. Naked men dig parkas.

39. Beware the naked man who offers you his parka.

40. You know what would look good on you?

41. Immolated cockroaches.

42. Don't worry. It's only a harmless pimento bug.

43. The size of Danny DeVito.

44. Making an amusing facial expression. Like this.

45. Numbers are evil. Count in clovers.

46. Stalking is fun. Do it more.

47. Make a large sign saying, "Look at me, I'm a gum nut tree!"

48. No matter what anyone says, there is a way to get to your fantasy world.

49. That way is rum.

50. Constipated people don't care.

52. You cannot kill the snow.

53. The snow can kill you.

54. Grass can also kill you.

55. The leprechaun on the cereal box said I can't get his lucky charms...

56. Catch and destroy leprechaun. Take charms and gold.

57. HE is real - no matter what the men in white coats say.

58. Staple paper in the middle of the page.

59. In case of blank looks, laugh maniacally.

60. You are not haxxor l337 or an uberhacker or anything like that.

61. Pretend to be so around teh n00bs.

62. Do not go out with voice #7. He is a sadistic, soul-sucking demon.

63. Disregard last note. Go out with demon. Who needs a soul anyway?

64. Ask Senor Diablo for a bigger pitchfork.

65. Remember to kill HIM...

66. Tell the small children in Toys 'R' Us that the dolls have an insatiable thirst for blood.

67. Note reactions. Avoid parents.

68. The blood of infants gives unholy superpowers according to Jhonen C. Vasquez. Test theory.

69. Scream - the doctors don't like it. They'll give you a shot of something nice.

70. Hide the bodies. Otherwise, people ask embarrassing questions.

71. Eat the evidence.

72. But not if it's broken glass.

73. When in the presence of someone much wiser than you, point in a random direction and yell, "Look, a distraction!" Then run.

74. Do not tell children that Santa is fat because he eats kids.

75. Disregard last note.

76. Note reactions.

77. On average, 100 people choke to death on ball point pens every year.

78. Stock up on ball point pens.

79. Learn to fly. Tell no one.

80. The secret to flying is throwing yourself at the ground and missing.

81. Do not stick fingers into blender.

82. Blender... bad... ouch…

83. Blood loss is bad.

84. Find way to re-attach fingers.

85. Scream as much as humanly possible at 2AM.

86. Answer every question with a question.

87. Ask people what gender they are.

88. Note reactions.

89. Refer to people as "mortal."

90. The Seagull from Down There is out to get me.

91. Kill all enemies in most disturbing way possible.

92. Start by drowning them in fire ants.

93. Find the creators of pop-up messages.

94. Kill them.

95. Brutally.

96. Teachers don't like finding notes on world domination.

97. Dunk head in boiling water.

98. Disregard last note. It was written by Voice #7.

99. Gullible IS written on the ceiling!

100. Investigate this whole "critical mass" thing when the klaxon dies down...

101. Find out who invented "Barnie."

102. Kill them.

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.

One day, we will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Don't knock on death's door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.

Whoever said nothing was impossible never tried slamming a revolving door...

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

Real girls aren't perfect, perfect girls aren't real. You want a perfect girl? Go buy a Barbie.

Having the love of your life say "We can still be friends" is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it.

When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch them!

I used up all my sick days...so I called in dead.

When you get caught looking at him, just remember, he was looking back!

You're laughing now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then?

I don't suffer from insanity... I enjoy every minute of it.

There's a light at the end of every tunnel...let's just hope it's not a train.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

I don't swim in your toilet, so don't pee in my pool.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, and I laugh even harder.

Boys are like trees – they take fifty years to grow up.

Forecast for tonight: darkness.

Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall through a sewer hole and die.

50 Ways to Scare People in the Computer Lab

1. Log on, wait a sec, then get a frightened look on your face and scream, "Oh my God! They've found me!" and bolt.

2. Laugh uncontrollably for about 3 minutes and then suddenly stop and look suspiciously at everyone who looks at you.

3. When your computer is turned off, complain to the monitor on duty that you can't get the darned thing to work. After he/she's turned it on, wait 5 minutes, turn it off again, and repeat the process for a good half hour.

4. Type frantically, often stopping to look at the person next to you evilly.

5. Before anyone else is in the lab, connect each computer to a different screen than the one it's set up with.

6. Write a program that plays the Smurfs theme song and play it at the highest volume possible over and over again.

7. Work normally for awhile. Suddenly look amazingly startled by something on the screen and crawl underneath the desk.

8. Ask the person next to you if they know how to tap into top- secret Pentagon files.

9. Use Interactive Send to make passes at people you don't know.

10. Make a small ritual sacrifice to the computer before you turn it on.

11. Bring a chainsaw, but don't use it. If anyone asks why you have it, say "Just in case..." mysteriously.

12. Type on VAX for awhile. Suddenly start cursing for 3 minutes about everything bad about your life. Then stop and continue typing.

13. Enter the lab, undress, and start staring at other people as if they're crazy while typing.

14. Light candles in a pentagram around your terminal before starting.

15. Ask around for a spare disk. Offer $2. Keep asking until someone agrees. Then, pull a disk out of your fly and say, "Oops, I forgot."

16. Every time you press return and there is processing time required, pray "Ohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohpleaseohplease," and scream "YES!" when it finishes.

17. "DISK FIGHT!"

18. Start making out with the person at the terminal next to you (it helps if you know them, but this is also a great way to make new friends).

19. Put a straw in your mouth and put your hands in your pockets. Type by hitting the keys with the straw.

20. If you're sitting in a swivel chair, spin around singing "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" whenever there is processing time required.

21. Draw a picture of a woman (or man) on a piece of paper and tape it to your monitor. Try to seduce it. Act like it hates you and then complain loudly that women (men) are worthless.

22. Try to stick a Nintendo cartridge in the 3.5 disk drive. When it doesn't work, get the supervisor.

23. When you are on an IBM and when you turn it on, ask loudly where the smiling Apple face is when you turn on one of those.

24. Print out the complete works of Shakespeare, then when it's all done (two days later) say that all you wanted was one line.

25. Sit and stare at the screen, biting your nails noisily. After doing this for awhile, spit them out at the feet of the person next to you.

26. Stare at the screen, grind your teeth, stop, look at the person next to you. Repeat procedure, making sure you never provoke the person enough to let them blow up, as this releases tension, and it is far more effective to let them linger.

27. If you have long hair, take a typing break, look for split ends, cut them, and deposit them on your neighbor's keyboard as you leave.

28. Put a large, gold-framed portrait of the British royal family on your desk and loudly proclaim that it inspires you.

29. Come to the lab wearing several layers of socks. Remove shoes and place them on top of the monitor. Remove socks layer by layer and drape them around the monitor. Exclaim sudden haiku about the aesthetic beauty of cotton on plastic.

30. Take the keyboard and sit under the computer. Type up your paper like this. Then go to the lab supervisor and complain about the bad working conditions.

31. Laugh hysterically, shout "You will all perish in flames!!!" and continue working.

32. Bring some dry ice and make it look like the computer is smoking.

33. Assign a musical note to every key (ex. the delete key is A-flat). Whenever you hit a key, hum its note loudly. Write an entire paper this way.

34. Attempt to eat your computer's mouse.

35. Borrow someone else's keyboard by reaching over, saying "Excuse me, mind if I borrow this for a sec?", unplugging the keyboard, and taking it.

36. Bring in a bunch of magnets and have fun.

37. When doing calculations, pull out an abacus and say that sometimes the old ways are best.

38. Play Pong for hours on the most powerful computer in the lab.

39. Make a loud noise of hitting the same key over and over again until you see that your neighbor is noticing (You can hit the space bar so your fill isn't affected). Then look at your neighbor's keyboard. Hit his/her delete key several times, erasing an entire word. While you do this, ask: "Does your delete key work?" Shake your head, and resume hitting the space bar on your keyboard. Keep doing this until, you've deleted about a page of your neighbor's document. Then, suddenly exclaim: "Well, what do you know? I've been hitting the space bar this whole time. No wonder it wasn't deleting! Ha!" Print out your document and leave.

40. Remove your disk from the drive and hide it. Go to the lab monitor and complain that your computer ate your disk. (For special effects, put some Elmer's glue on or around the disk drive. Claim that the computer is drooling.)

41. Stare at the person's next to your's screen, look really puzzled, burst out laughing and say "You did that?" loudly. Keep laughing, grab your stuff and leave, howling as you go.

42. Point at the screen. Chant in a made-up language while making elaborate hand gestures for a minute or two. Press return or the mouse, then leap back and yell "COVEEEEERRRRR!" Peek up from under the table, walk back to the computer and say "Oh, good. It worked this time," and calmly start to type again.

43. Keep looking at invisible bugs and trying to swat them.

44. See who's online. Send a total stranger a talk request. Talk to them like you've known them all your lives. Hang up before they get a chance to figure out you're a total stranger.

45. Bring a small tape player with a tape of really absurd sound effects. Pretend it's the computer and look really lost.

46. Pull out a pencil. Start writing on the screen. Complain that the lead doesn't work.

47. Come into the computer lab wearing several endangered species of flowers in your hair. Smile incessantly. Type a sentence, then laugh happily, exclaim "You're such a marvel!!", and kiss the screen. Repeat this after every sentence. As your ecstasy mounts, also hug the keyboard.Finally, hug your neighbor, then the computer assistant, and walk out.

48. Run into the computer lab, shout "Armageddon is here!!!!!", then calmly sit down and begin to type.

49. Quietly walk into the computer lab with a Black and Decker chainsaw, rev that baby up, and then walk up to the nearest person and say, "Give me that computer or you'll be feeding my pet crocodile for the next week."

50. Two words: Tesla Coil

HP FAVOURITES

Female Character? Luna

Male Character? Draco

Professor? Severus

Death Eater? Bellatrix

Pairing? Harry/Hermione

Magical Creature? Basilisk

Spell? Wingardium Leviosa

Quote? I can't choose.

Movie? Philosopher's Stone

Hogwarts House? Ravenclaw or Slytherin

Place? Grimmauld Place

Weasley? Ginny

HP THIS OR THAT

Gryffindor or Slytherin? Slytherin

Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff? Ravenclaw

Fred or George? Fred

Ginny or Luna? Luna

Butterbeer or Firewhiskey? Firewhiskey

Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley? Hogsmeade

Books or Movies? Books

Half-Blood Prince or Deathly Hallows? Deathly Hallows

Philosopher’s Stone or Chamber of Secrets? Philosopher's Stone

Severus or Horace? Severus

Remus or Sirius? DAMN IT...Sirius, I guess.

Harry/Ginny or Harry/Hermione? Harry/Hermione

Lavender Brown or Parvati Patil? Lavender

Seamus Finnigan or Dean Thomas? Dean

Kreacher or Dobby? Dobby

Muggleborn or Pureblood? Pureblood.

Dan Radcliffe or Rupert Grint? Daniel Radcliffe

Bellatrix Lestrange or Narcissa Malfoy? Bellatrix

Voldemort or Tom Riddle? Tom Riddle

Hedwig or Crookshanks? Crookshanks

List Your 12 Favourite HP Characters in random order:

1. Sirius

2. Luna

3. Hermione

4. Draco

5. James

6. Lily

7. Harry

8. Fred

9. Neville

10. Remus

11. Severus

12. Ginny

01.) Have you ever read a Six/Eleven fanfic before?

- Of course I have...

02.) Do you think Four is Hot?

- Hell yes.

03.) What would happen if Twelve got Eight pregnant?

- Damn...Molly and Arthur wouldn't be too happy, that's for sure. And wait...how does that even fucking work, unless they were...nevermind. I don't want to know.

04.) Do you recall any fics about Nine? Can you recommend any?

- A few...I can't really remember any of the names.

05.) Would Two and Six make a good couple?

- Well...I don't know. Lily probably would get irritated a lot...

06.) Five/Nine or Five/Ten?

- James/Remus.

07.) What would happen if Seven walked in on Two and Twelve having sex?

- I...uh...well, that would be hilarious.

08.) Make up a summary for a Three/Ten fanfic.

- Do I have to?

09.) Is there any such thing as a One/Eight fluff fanfic?

- I don't think so.

10.) Suggest a title for a Seven/Twelve Hurt/Comfort fic.

- Remember

11.) What kind of plot would you use if you wanted Four to de-flower One?

- NO. Just no.

12.) What might Ten scream at a moment of great passion?

- ...I don't know?

13.) If you wrote a song-fic about Eight, what song would you choose?

- Not sure...oh wait, maybe What the Hell by Avril Lavigne?

14.) If you wrote a One/Six/Twelve fic, what would the warning be?

- Threesome. Cross-generation. SBLPGW

15.) What might be a good pick-up line for Ten to use on Two?

- Something about the moon.

16.)When was the last time you read a fic about Five?

- He's in a lot of the FFs I read, but usually mentioned in passing.

17.) What is Six's super-secret kink?

- Ooh...I don't really know. Severus and James would probably be the only ones to find out/see, anyway.

18.) Would Eleven shag Nine? Drunk or sober?

- Well...no.

19.) If Three and Seven got together, who would top?

- Harry.

20.) "One and Nine are in a happy relationship until Nine suddenly runs off with Four. One, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Eleven and a brief unhappy affair with Twelve, then follows the wise advice of Five and finds true love with Three."

- "Sirius and Neville are in a happy relationship until Neville suddenly runs off with Draco. Sirius, broken-hearted, has a hot one-night stand with Severus and a brief unhappy affair with Ginny, then follows the wise advice of James and finds true love with Hermione."

What title would you give this fic?

- Chasing the Wise Girl

21.) How would you feel if Seven/Eight was canon?

- Oh my God...

22.) Have you read a five/ten fic before?

- Nope

23.) Do you think three is hot? How hot?

- She's Hermione. What else do I have to say?

24.) Would seven and two make a good couple?

- Actually...probably.

25.) Four/eight or four/nine?

- Draco/Neville, I guess.

26.) What would happen if seven discovered three and eight in a secret relationship?

- He...well, let's just say he would be shocked.

27.) Is there a such thing as a four/ten romantic fluff story?

- I don't think so.

28.) Suggest a title for a one/five Hurt/Comfort fic.

- Best Friends

29.) If you wrote a songfic about number ten, what song would you chose?

- I dunno.

30.) If you wrote a two/three/six fic, what would the warning be?

Femslash threesome. Time travel/cross-generation.

15 ways to annoy Remus Lupin:

1. Tell him there's a new law that says werewolves aren't allowed to eat chocolate.
2. Tell him Greyback is the ideal werewolf.
3. Whenever you see him tell him a story about a wolf that ends in disaster (IE: Little Red Riding Hood)
4. Tell him he should have chosen a prettier creature to get bitten by and turned into.
5. At random times point over his shoulder and say "Hey, look, there's a full moon tonight!"
6. In a room full of crowded people whisper (loudly) that you won't tell anything about his "dirty little secret".
7. Introduce him to a bunch of Sirius/Remus fangirls who won't leave him alone until they see the two kiss.
8. Whenever you see him run away screaming "It's the big bad wolf!"
9. Tell him you made dinner for him and give him a slab of raw meat.
10. Remind him constantly that he never stopped James and Sirius from picking on Severus even though he was a Prefect.
11. Ask him to growl for you.
12. But a few drops of love potion in his Wolfsbane potion and make sure he falls in love with someone totally inappropriate. (Voldemort, Snape, etc)
13. When the potion wears off, keep reminding him what a fool out of himself he made.
14. Give him a bar of molded dirt and tell him it's chocolate.
15. Keep reminding him about the time he almost killed Snape.

15 ways to annoy Sirius Black:

1. Tell him he looks better as a dog
2. Give him dog biscuits every time you see him
3. Every time you go to his house, be sure to wake his mother up
4. Constantly invite Severus Snape over his house
5. Put pink bows in his hair
6. Whenever you see him, tell him Snape's better looking
7. Make everyone make fake barking sounds when he walks by
8. Put a sign that says "No Dogs Allowed" on the front of his house
9. Set rats loose in his manor, and tell him that one of them is Peter
10. Laugh when he tries to catch all the rats
11. When he says "I'm serious!" Say "I know you're Sirius! Stop saying that!"
12. Buy him a collar
13. Ask him if he has fleas
14. Stare at him with wide eyes every time you see him. Also tremble and point at him. Try to look scared.
15. Tell him to "sit!" and "get off the furniture!" and "roll over!"

15 ways to annoy Severus Snape:

1. Sign him up to a Harry Potter fanclub. Make sure the fanclub sends T-shirts/mugs/etc with Harry's face on them at least once a month.
2. Send him bottles of shampoo every week (Note: This may get expensive)
3. Tell him he's Harry's father instead of James. If he says this isn't possible, tease him because he's never done anything with Lily
4. Tell him Dumbledore made Remus Lupin the new potions professor for next year
5. When he wants to know if this means he can be the Defense Against Dark Arts professor, tell him Sirius Black is going to be the DADA teacher
6. Tell him he and Mcgonagall are switching houses, and he's going to be the head of Gryffindor
7. Hug him. Hug him again. Keep hugging him….
8. Tell him Harry/Ron/Hermione wants to have his children (Note: this may freak him out VERY much….)
9. Have Harry, Ron, and Hermione follow him around everywhere. And I mean EVERYWHERE.
10. Decorate his office and/or classroom while he's away
11. Make sure there are lots of pink, glittery things there!
12. Constantly compare him to the Marauders. Make sure they're always much better in comparison to him.
13. When ever he says something, say "but Sirius said…." (eg. Severus: "It's not going to rain today" You: "But Sirius said it's going to rain fluffy pink bunnies!")
14. Have all the Slytherins start to cry every time they see him.
15. When he goes to an Order of the Phoenix meeting, make Sirius and Remus follow him around. Have him sit between them at dinner.

15 ways to annoy Bellatrix Lestrange:

1. Point behind her and say "hey look, it's Sirius!"
2. Tell her Voldemort's throwing her out of the Death Eaters
3. Have Voldemort make Snape his right-hand man
4. Tell her Snape's ideas are much better than hers
5. Call her crazy
6. Hug her
7. Ask her if she had fun in Azkaban
8. Tell Voldemort she's secretly working for Dumbledore. (Note: This may also get her killed.)
9. Throw her a party and invite all the Order members
10. Go on and on about how awesome Snape and Sirius are
11. Burn her house down and make her stay with Snape
12. Tell Rita Skeeter she and Snape are dating
13. Deny she's loyal to Voldemort
14. Tell a bunch of Sirius fangirls where she lives and let them do as they wish to her
15. Put down Voldemort non-stop

15 ways to annoy Draco Malfoy:

1. Call him Ferret Boy
2. Tell him he looks much better as a ferret than a human
3. Tell him that Harry/Ron/Hemione/all three are in love with him
4. Point behind him and tell him there's a hippogriff there. Do this on numerous occasions.
5. Make sure muggle-borns are constantly better than him in everything he does. Have them gloat about this.
6. Train as many hippogriffs as you can to follow him around
7. Tell him Lucius and Narcissa aren't really his parents, and he's really a muggle-born!
8. In a room full of people, put him under the Tarantallegra curse. (A curse that makes a person dance constantly)
9. Make sure he knows everyone knows (thinks) he loves Harry
10. Remind him constantly of every time Harry's saved him
11. Have Harry, Ron, and Hemione wink at him every time he looks in their direction. Make sure it looks like they're planning something.
12. Tell him his father and Voldemort are sleeping together
13. Put him under the Imperio curse and make him yell (in a room full of crowded people) that he's in love with Harry/Ron/Hermione/Snape/Nelville
14. Throw out all his hair gel
15. When he's asleep, dye his hair and all his clothes red

15 ways to annoy Harry Potter:

1. Tell him he's related to Voldemort
2. Have Ginny dump him for Draco
3. Tell him he should get rid of his scar
4. Hide his glasses and broom
5. Use his broom to sweep the floor
6. Ask him how Cedric is
7. Sign him up for the Draco Malfoy fanclub
8. Make him read Harry/Draco and Harry/Snape fanfics
9. Have Umbridge adopt him
10. Tell him Snape had an affair with Lily and Harry's really Snape's son instead of James's
11. Draw a scar on your face, get big glasses, and walk around saying "I'm Harry Potter!"
12. Tell him how much Voldemort rocks every time you see him
13. Give him a Valentine's card and say it's from Snape
14. Tell him Sirius had it coming
15. Follow him around asking him why it's taking him so long to defeat Voldemort

15 ways to annoy Hermione Granger:

1. Tell her the library burned down
2. Keep calling S.P.E.W. spew
3. Go on and on about how awesome Quidditch is.
4. Tell everyone she's dating Snape/Draco/Crabbe/Goyle
5. Have Rita Skeeter white an article of her love life with Harry and make sure Ron reads it. (Note: This will also annoy Harry and Ron.)
6. Rip up books in front of her
7. Tell her she's made the Quidditsh team
8. Have Hagrid make her babysit Grawp
9. Make out with Ron in front of her
10. Whisper that you and Ron certainly had "fun" last night alone in his dorm….
11. Tell her there's an essay due tomorrow
12. When she asks what essay, tell her it was assigned a week ago and she should pay better attention
13. Tell her Ron's going out with Draco
14. Put McGonagall under the Imperio and have her tell Hermione she failed all of her classes
15. Tell her how sorry you are that Snape broke her heart. Say it in front of Snape.

15 ways to annoy Hagrid:

1. Constantly comment on how big he is.
2. Ask him how his pet Basilisk is doing.
3. Ask him if he eats humans.
4. Whenever he gets near you, scream at him to please not fall on you.
5. Put him in a room with Professor Umbridge for an hour. (Note: This may drive him to insanity.)
6. Make sure only Slytherins are in his Care of Magical Creatures class next year.
7. Ask him constantly about his mother.
8. Find a really big egg, give to him, and tell him it's a dragon egg.
9. "Accidentally" drop the egg and when it splatters all over the place, ask him how the hell he treated the egg to turn it into something other than a dragon.
10. Tell him Madam Maxine and Voldemort got married.
11. Mutter "Fee, fie, foe, fum" whenever you see him
12. Constantly give him clothes that are obviously too small for him.
13. Read him lots of fairy tails about giants and keep comparing him to the ones in the stories.
14. Put bows in his beard
15. Sign him up to ballet lessons to make him more graceful.