![]() Author has written 6 stories for Twilight. Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000486901845&ref=name#/profile.php?id=100000486901845&ref=name MSN: Josettevigee@live.com I am a laid back kind of girl, i don't really care to be caught in drama. I'm a shy girl that prefers to just lay out on the grass and watch the clouds, the stars, and even read a good book. I've been more of a tomboy, then anything else, even if i don't always act it. I'm pretty crazy when you get to know me, i can be a bitch if i don't like you, or really sweet if you're my friend. I am a girl of classics, i love classic books, classic quotes, etc. I'm a t-shirt and jeans kinda girl Girl: Do I ever cross your mind? Boy: No Girl: Do you like me? Boy: No Girl: Do you want me? Boy: No Girl: Would you cry if I left? Boy: No Girl: Would you live for me? Boy: No Girl: Would you do anything for me? Boy: No Girl: Choose--me or your life Boy: My life The girl runs away in shock and pain and the boy runs after her and says... "The reason you never cross my mind is because you're always on my mind. The reason why I don't like you is because I love you. The reason I don't want you is because I need you. The reason I wouldn't cry if you left is because I would die if you left. The reason I wouldn't live for you is because I would die for you. The reason why I'm not willing to do you anything for you is because I would do everything for you. The reason I chose my life is because you ARE my life." Lessons Learned in Twilight: 1. You can enjoy the banquet while resisting the wine. If you get good grades and still know nothing at all, copy and paste this onto your profile Do YOU remember the 90s?? Just because you were born in '97 doesn't mean you're a 90's kid. It's not like you could remember the original Simpsons. I am sorry but three conscious years of the 90's just wont cut it. You're a 90's kid if You remember watching -Doug -Ren & Stimpy -Pinky and the Brain -AAAAAAAH Real Monsters! -Rockos modern Life. -Animaniacs -Gargoyles You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!" You just cant resist finishing this . . . "in west Philadelphia born and raised . . ." You remember -Step by Step -Family Matters -Dinosaurs -Boy Meets World You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons. You remember reading "Goosebumps" You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not When everything was settled by -rock paper scissors or -bubble gum bubble gum in a dish or -ms. mary mack When kick ball was a daily activity. When we used to obey our parents You used to listen to the radio all day long just to r ecord your FAVORITE song of ALL time on a tape. You remember when Super Nintendos and Sega Genisis became popular. You remember The Original Game Boy. You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny. You remember watching -The Magic School Bus -Wishbone -Reading Rainbow -and Ghostwriter on PBS You remember when Yo-Yos were cool. You remember those Where's Waldo books. You remember eating Warheads and Splashers Gum. You remember watching -the 1st Batman -Aladdin -Ninja Turtles -ghost busters You remember Ring Pops. If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!" You remember boom boxes .vs. cd players. Making those little paper fortune things, and then predicting your life with them. You played and/or collected "Pogs" You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere. One word. . . . . . . .trolls. Windows 95 was the best. You watched the original cartoons of -Rugrats -Wild Thornberry's -Power Rangers -Rocket Power. All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand. You collected those Beanie Babies. Carebears Lambchop's song never ended. Silver dollars, which were cool to have. Everyone watched the WB. If you even know what an original walkman is. You know the Macarena by heart. "Talk to the hand" . . . enough said You went to McDonald's to play in the play place. You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground. Before the MySpace frenzy . . . Before the Internet & text messaging . . . Before Sidekicks & iPods . . . Before PlayStation3 or X-BOX 360 . . . Before Spongebob . . . Before Tupac was shot. When light up sneakers were cool. When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs. When gas was 0.95 a gallon. When we recorded stuff on VCRs. You had slap bracelets! You Actually played outside until it was dark! Way back. Before we realized all this would eventually disappear. Post this in your bulletin if you remember these days . . . Quotes -Having the love of your life say you can still be friends is like having your dog die and your mom saying you can still keep it. -Always forgive your enemies - Nothing annoys them so much. -Boys are like slinkies, useless, but fun to watch fall down the stairs. -Why is it that people are fine with everyone having a different job or going to a different school, but if you say you follow a different religion, you are weird? -There are 3 reasons to go through the day: Coffee in the morning, friends in the afternoon, and a good book for the rest of the day. -Note to Self: Normal is just a setting on washing machines. -I'm going to live forever, or die trying. -If I had something good to say, I would have already said it. -Employee of the month is a good example of how someone can be both a winner and a looser at the same time. -Never knock on Death's door-ring the bell and run away. Death really hates that. -Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -If you get a low enough SAT score, you should be able to park in the handicap space. -Traditions are group efforts to keep the unexpected from happening. -I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer. -Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice? -When angry, count to ten, when very angry, swear. -Education is important; school however, is another matter. -Boys are like trees - they take 50 years to grow up. -All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative. -You cry, I cry. You laugh, I laugh. You jump off a cliff, I laugh even harder! -Hello. You have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are, where you are from, and what you want so there is no need to leave a message. -They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill to many people. -I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that crap up in two seconds. When I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you, you asshole! -That, my children, is called a wall. But beware the wall is solid. Yes be afraid! Be very afraid for we cannot walk through it! Believe me children, for I have attempted this many times before. -Stupidity killed the cat. Curiosity was framed. -Some people are alive today, simply because it is illegal to kill them. -The newscaster is the person who says "Good evening" and then tells you why it's not. -I got an A in philosophy because I proved my professor doesn’t exist. -If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either. -Why is Charlie short for Charles if they are the same number of letters? -Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone might actually clean them? -There are no stupid questions – just a bunch of inquisitive idiots. -Politics is war without bloodshed. War is politics with bloodshed. -High School Musical 3 and Saw V were the two top movies at the box office when they opened. One depicted gruesome on screen torture. The other was about a guy with a saw. -It takes 47 muscles to frown, 13 to smile and absolutely none to sit there with a dumb look on your face. -People say satire is dead. It’s not dead. It’s alive and living in the White House. -I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t want to be there when it happens. -I do not deny everything. -Sometimes the mind, for reasons we do not necessarily understand, just decides to go the store for a quart of milk. -The only reason some people get lost in thought is because it is unfamiliar territory. -Always proofread to make you sure you don’t any words out. -I'm not short I'm fun sized. -Love me or hate me personally I could care less -Unless you've lived my life, don't judge me because you don't know, never have & never will know every little thing & detail about me -You laugh now because you're older than me by mere months, but when you're 30 and I'm still 29, who will be laughing then. -When you get caught looking at him, remember he was looking back. -Girls are like phones, we love to be held, and talked to but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! -I'm the type of girl who will burst out laughing in dead silence over something that happened a year ago : ) -Isn't it ironic . . . we ignore those who adore us, adore those who ignore us, hurt those who love us, and love those who hurt us -Don't follow in my footsteps . . . I run into walls. -Do you want to know why I'm still on earth? Heaven kicked me out and hell is afraid I'll take over -Hello and welcome to the Mental Health Hot-line. If you are obsessive compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5, 6. If you are paranoid, we know what you are and what you want so stay on the line and we'll trace your call. If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be sent to the Mother Ship. If you are schizophrenic listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press. If you are depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, no one will answer you. If you are dislexic press 6, 9, 6, 9, 6, 9. If you have a nervous disorder fidget with the hatch key until the beep. After the beep, please wait for the beep. If you have short term memory loss, please try your call again later and if you have low self esteem, hang up; all our operators are too busy to talk to you. -"If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?" ~ Anonymous -Behind every bitch there's a guy that made her that way -Did you just call me a bitch? Because a bitch is a dog. Dogs bark. Bark is on trees. Trees are a part of nature. And nature is beautiful. I know I'm beautiful! Thanks for the complement. -A positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. -If you don’t get everything you want, think of the things you don’t get that you don’t want. FEMALE COMEBACKS!! Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Man: Is this seat empty? Man: Your place or mine? Man: So, what do you do for a living? Man: Hey baby, what's your sign? Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Man: Your body is like a temple. Man: I would go to the end of the world for you. Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and i together Man: Your eyes they're amazing. 10 Commandments of a Teenager 1) Thou shall not sneak out when parents are sleeping. (why wait that long) (alcohol lasts longer, not to mention being cheaper.) 3) Thou shall not steal from K-Mart. 4) Thou shall not be arrested for vandalism. 5) Thou shall not steal from your parents. (everyone knows grandma has more money) 6) Thou shall not get into fights. (just start them.) 7) Thou shall not skip class. (just take the whole day off) 8) Thou shall not strip in class. (Hooters pays more) 9) Thou shall not think about having sex. (like Nike says, "just do it") 10) Thou shall not help old ladies across the street. (just leave em in the middle) For people that hate stereotypes: If you think people should just shut up and stop, put this on your profile. (BOLD the ones that people think you are.) I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting. (Oh please...) If you have ever tripped over air, copy and paste this in your profile Weird is good, strange is bad, and odd is when you don't know which to call someone. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, than weird is good. If you are weird and proud of it copy onto your profile. If you truly believe, there is an Edward Cullen somewhere for you (Doesn’t mean his name has to be Edward Cullen) copy and paste in your profile. 95 percent of teenagers are concerned about being popular. If you are one of the 5 percent who aren't, copy and paste If you have ever copy and paste something onto your profile, copy and paste this in your profile If you have ever asked a really stupid, obvious question, copy and paste. If you have ever forgotten what you are talking about in a conversation, copy and paste. If you are obsessed with fanfiction, copy and paste in your profile. If you are hyper, and like being hyper, and are hyper all the time. COPY AND PASTE! If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, copy and paste. If at one time you misspelled or forgot how to spell a word less than four letters, copy and paste this onto your profile. Ninety-five percent of the kids out there are concerned with being popular and fitting in. If you're part of the five percent who aren't, copy this, put it in your profile 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. If you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?", copy this into your profile If you like chocolate as much as I do copy this in your profile. There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird. If you agree, copy this and put it in your profile. If you always have a song stuck in your head, copy and paste this into your profile. I'm bored...If you're bored then paste this in your profile and let the world know you have nothing to do... If you've been on the computer for hours on end, reading numerous fanfictions, copy this onto your profile If you've ever tripped over a WATCH YOUR STEP sign, copy and paste this into your profile If you've ever tripped over an article of clothing you were wearing at the time, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vise versa, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever walked into a glass door thinking it was open, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever tripped over your own feet, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have ever started humming a song that you have absolutely no idea what it is put this on your profile. If you think being unique is cooler than being cool, copy and paste this to your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy this into your profile If you have ever stabbed yourself or someone else with a pencil, copy and paste this in your profile! If you have a true friend, copy and paste this into your profile! 98 of teenagers do drugs, have sex, and drink alcohol...put this in your profile if you like bagels! If you walk and trip or stumble because your too busy reading a book copy and paste this into your profile! If you are a person who acts friendly but has an evil mind and is secretly plotting world domination, copy and paste this into your profile! If you've ever burst out laughing in a quiet room, copy this into your profile! If you've ever wondered what you are like in another dimension, copy and paste this in your profile If you've ever pulled on a door and complained about it being locked or really heavy, only to have someone point out to you that you're supposed be pushing on the door or vice versa, copy and paste this into your profile! Admitting you are weird means you are normal! Saying that you are normal is odd! If you admit that you are weird and like it, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you have ever had a mad laughing fit for absolutely no reason, copy and paste this into your profile! If you think vampires have souls copy and paste this onto your profile! If you haven't died yet, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you think the Cocoa Puff Turkey Bird thing should go to rehab, copy this into your profile! Chocolate chip cookies are the best! If you agree, copy and paste this into your profile! If you think those stupid kids should just give the rabbit the freakin' Trix, copy and paste this into your profile! If you think rock paper scissors solves everything then put this in ur profile! If you have your own little world, copy and paste this into your profile! If you read people's profiles looking for things to copy and paste into your profile, copy and paste this into your profile! If you think iPods were gifts from the gods copy and paste this onto your profile! If you think Fred should just let Barney have the freakin' Coco Pebbles and stop chasing him, then copy and paste this in your profile! If you think that any cartoon characters that are trying to steal cereal should just go to the freaking grocery store and buy some themselves copy this into your profile! If your family/friends/people around you stared at you when you did the above mentioned, copy and paste this onto your profile! If you think that dumb girl from the Eggo commercial should just give her father some freakin' waffles already, copy and paste this into your profile! If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile! Pluto was declared no longer a planet on August 27 of 2006 just because it was 'too small' and 'off its orbit' for a couple scientists' likings! If you still think Pluto should be a planet then copy and paste this to your profile! LONG LIVE PLUTO! If you spend multiple hours each day reading or writing or a combination of both...copy and paste this on your profile! My best friend is insane, if you think your best friend is insane, put this in your profile! If there are times when you just wanna annoy people for the heck of it then copy and paste this into your profile! Skittles tastes good. People call me crazy, but I'm just random! If you're random and proud of it, copy and paste this in your profile! If you are sad because there will be no more Harry Potter books , copy and paste this into your profile If you ever fell off a chair backwards copy this into your profile. If people think you are mentally insane...copy and paste this onto your profile If you know someone who should get run over by a bus, copy this into your profile. 98 percent of the population has a myspace. If you're one of the 2 percent that isn't emo, copy and paste this in your profile. If, for no warning, you have laughed during a movie part that wasn't funny, put this in your profile. If you have ever ran into a mirror, copy this into your profile. If you or your best friend is insane copy and paste this onto your profile Ninety-eight percent of teenagers have tried smoking pot. If you're one of the two percent who hasn't, copy this and paste it in your profile. If you hear voices of the characters in your head...copy and paste this on your profile. If you have ever been poked and made a noise resembling that of a constipated animal, copy and paste this into your profile. If you think that the kids should stop chasing Lucky and leave the leprechaun alone, then copy and paste this into your profile. AACD is Addicted to All Cullens Disorder 93 percent of American teens would have a severe emotional breakdown if someone called them a freak. copy and paste this if you're a part of the 7 percent who would ask the person, "What was your first clue?" If you have ever forgotten your name while introducing yourself, copy this to your profile. If you ever read past two in the morning, copy and paste this to your profile. If you think everyone's out of their mind, copy and paste this into your profile For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what you are doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour-long sob fest, and then start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say a completely random thing, like "Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumbwar with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings, print them off and tape them to your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when you memorize the complete biographies and physical traits of every character in Twilight (or almost, at least). Crazy is when you write Emmett or Edward Cullen is hot on your homework insted of doing it.Crazy is when you try to make up the twilight characters signatures. Crazy is when you go on a sugar high when you haven't eaten anything sugary all day.It's crazy if you ever wonder if you think about taking a crap in their sleep, does it roll down their body? Crazy is when you go to Guitar Center and noodle on a bass, not a guitar, a bass, for half a freakin hour! Crazy is when you start talking about something and then stop and then when you start talking again, you forgot what you were talking about before. Some examples of why the human race has probably evolved as far as possible. These are actual instruction labels on consumer goods... On Sears hairdryer: On a bag of Fritos: On a bar of Dial soap: On some Swann frozen dinners: On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: On packaging for a Rowenta iron: On Boot's Children's cough medicine: On Nytol sleep aid: On a Korean kitchen knife: On a string of Christmas lights: On a food processor: On Sainsbury's peanuts: On an Amerian Airlines packet of nuts: On a Swedish chainsaw: On a child's Superman costume: One out of four people is insane. Look at three of your friends. If it's not them, it's you (Me: What if their all insane? Hmm) "What you're looking for is always in the last place you look" (Me: Well, DUH, smart one! After you find it, you stop looking!) People who say "nothing's impossible" have never tried slamming a revolving door. If you have ever pushed on a door that said pull or vice versa copy this into your profile If you've ever talked to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever run into a door, copy and paste this into your profile. If you're one of those people who get excited when you see just two reviews, paste this into your profile If you have ever tripped up the stairs, copy and paste this into your profile. (At school. How embarrasing is THAT!) If you think you have too many of these "copy and paste this into your profile" thingies, but have no intention of stopping now, copy and paste this into your profile. If you have ever walked into a wall, copy this onto your profile. They say "Guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the guns help. If you stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people. You laugh, I laugh. You cry, I cry. You hurt, I hurt. You jump off a bridge, I get a boat and save your stupid ass. Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up. I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no way Paper can beat Rock. Is Paper supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? If so, why can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why aren't sheets of college ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they attempt to take notes in class? I'll tell you why, because paper can't beat anybody, a rock would tear that stuff up in two seconds. That's why when I play rock/ paper/ scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to have beaten me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my ready made fist and say, "Oh, I'm sorry, I thought paper would protect you". Sometimes I wonder, "Why is the Frisbee getting bigger?" Then it hits me. |
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