Hello! Welcome to the crazy crack-fics of...

(jumps out of cake) LINA AND LIZ!!XD

Lina: why does my name go first? @.@

Liz: (shrugs) IDK...

Lina: Well...I...I'm older!

Liz: YES! EXACTLY!

Liz and Lina: (giggles) XD

Alrighty then! Everyone...welcome to our page. We are two crazy fangirls with a love of Hellsing (Lina: and other stories) and lack of other activities. We're here to bring you quality crack-induced fics that will make you laugh your sockies off.

Lina: I'm not wearing socks (holds up foot)

Liz: so it seems...(ominous voice)

Lina: YOU WILL NEVER PUT SOCKS ON MY FEET!!

Liz: um...okay...(backs away slowly)

Lina: (tries to poke Liz)

Liz: STOP THAT!!

Lina: (whispers) never...(evil laugh)

Liz:...anyways...!! ON WITH THE PROFILE!!

My name is Liz and I am the typist of this show. My friend is Lina; technically I'm her sophomore sidekick because she's older. And does not have the attention span, or the nails, to type. We're both wacky, insane, and rather hyper fangirls and LINA STOP THAT!!

Lina: but it just adds...

Liz: ugh...don't ask...PLEASE.

Lina: ASK! ASK! ASK!

Liz: back to the point...We're here on a mission from God (Lina: though, God has nothing to do with what we're writing) to-

Lina: Hey! Put "though, hate to break it to you" in there!

Liz: But it's getting too long! We want to make this short, sweet, simple, and to the point!!

Lina: but...nothing we do IS short, sweet, simple, or to the point...(blink blink) because, we're insane...(maniac grin)

Liz: ANYWAYS!! (duck taps Lina's mouth) Basically, we just like Hellsing (Especially Alucard because he's not just effing hot but also has a big gun. Lina: he's got TWO big guns.) and we like making crack fics about it. So, enjoy everyone! Oh and don't forget to check out our other pages. My penname is: Selene08 and Lina's is: MissLunaTick

Lina and Liz: (claps happily) YAY!! (hugs) Now...

ON WITH THE MADNESS!!

THIS...

...IS...

...SPARTA...!!

Lina: erm...I think it's "Hellsing"

Liz: WHATEVER! JUST READ IT ALREADY!!

Lina and Liz: (waves) see ya next time!

Disclaimer: We do not own Hellsing, Alucard (sadly cries), anything of Alucard's, Pip's hat, Walter's monocle, and Integra's...hmm...okay, forget Integra. Or any other stories that we post on here. So please people, don't sue us. If you'd like you can get Lina commited and save me the trouble. =P But other than that, dudes...just chill out and enjoy the stories! =) Thanks! Tah-tah!