Don't touch it!" Teddy shouted, but since when had James started obeying commands? He turned the hourglass and the world around them started spinning... and spinning... and spinning.

Lupin and Tonks follow a different, darker path than canon. DH-compliant until the Weasley wedding, then goes AU.

Jasper has always seen her as his little sister. How can Alice convince him she's all grown up? AH/AU. Canon couples.

The one thing Charlie Swan regretted the most was that he never got to see his little girl grow up.

Something terrible has happened to Bella and Edward, and Charlie's the poor sap who has to tell Renee. A post-BD, canon example for the Twilight Anniversary Challenge.

Alice Cullen: celebutante, fashionista, rich girl, tabloid fodder. Jasper Whitlock: bodyguard, indie boy, intellectual, tattooed twenty-something. A relationship between them is not supposed to happen and most certainly not supposed to work out. AU, AH.

Set at the End of Bella's Junior Year. Hilarity ensues when the Forks Gang is forced to endure Sex Education class with Coach Clapp. Chapter 1 is Jasper POV, and each subsequent chapter is from the perspective of a different character.

Life in the Between Book Break Room has never been easy. Upon receiving a copy of Breaking Dawn, the Twilight characters are less than happy. Revamped as of 8.26.09.

COWBOYS & INDIANS sequel. In the wake of their road-trip to Texas, Leah and Jasper have formed a nascent family -- but where does that leave Alice? And after all that's happened to Leah, can she still hope for even an approximation of normal life?

AU Jasper/Alice Jasper met the Cullen family on his own, over a century before. Now, 90 years after finding Bella, they have returned to their old hometown of Forks. and it should have been an uneventful return, if only she hadn't been there...

Stephenie gets a little annoyed when her characters try to alter/comment on her novel, Twilight. Rated M for language mainly due in part to Jessica's inner dialogue

Take 2. The characters of the Twilight series are back, and they are kicking butt and taking names commenting/altering New Moon. Rated M for general lack of a language sensor.

Take 3. Oh, you bet they're back again, the characters of Twilight, going big or going home, altering/commenting Eclipse. Rated M for serious lack of dirty mouth filter.

Hey all, I'm back, dragging the Twilight characters kicking and screaming into the final installment of the Twilight parodies. Rated M for... well, have you read Breaking Dawn? *shudders*

Hilarity ensues when Edward comes back at the end of New Moon and he and Alice get Mrs. Cope to change their schedules to put them in Bella's gym class. How can they appear human when their superhuman athletic aptitudes keep getting in the way?

Lessons on the road in a journey through time. Existentialism, a Texas pow-wow, a '67 Mustang, a bar brawl, Pocahontas, and Jack Kerouac. Sometimes, family is chosen, even if they're not who we expect. Jasper, Leah & Seth, Edward

A short, drabble like oneshot that explores the idea of what would happen if the Volturi found Jasper and Alice before the Confrontation in Breaking Dawn. Sad and short. Oneshot. Rated for safety.

Alice throws Bella a surprise bachelorette party in a posh Portland penthouse, complete with sexy games, embarrassing gifts, tequila shots, a stripper named Emmett, and a night of clubbing. Rated M for sexual dialogue and adult situations.

My take on what happened at the Cullen house the day Edward bought a bed. One-shot.

The Cullen boys go hunting. Jasper can't stop quoting the Princess Bride, Emmett can't stop quoting Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and Edward, rather put out, responds with Shakespeare. Hilarity ensues! Cowritten with the awesomely funny LindaRoo!

An empath's thoughts about a telepath. Jasper's private concerns regarding Edward and Bella as they race towards marriage.

Forks is rocked by a scandal involving the perfect Cullens.

PART II: Harry Potter thought that he had found a way home but something went wrong. Now he finds himself trapped in another dimension, in which someone else was cursed with the famous scar, and Tom Riddle never became the Dark Lord.

“Spending eternity with a bad flashlight is not something to be taken lightly,” Alice said, her words riddled with cryptic vampirish meaning. “Forever is a long time to be stuck with a cheap LED light, especially when you’re awake at night a lot.”

PART I: Days before his 6th year, Harry Potter is sucked into another universe by forces not of this world. Dazed and confused, Harry finds himself in a world where his parents are alive, where Voldemort has never fallen and he is Voldemort's key enforcer

Edward has decided Bella needs protection. What kind ofprotection? The kind you can buy at Walmart. In the pharmacy.

Just a regular day in Forks. No, really.