Family: I live with my Dad and sister. my sister on here is knowen as PyrusFireCat she manged to convince my dad to get me this fanfiction for my birth day and now she won't help me setup so she is so anoying.

you know your a hillbilly when

1. you have cake for breakfast. =)

2.you need to count to 10 to walk after a party.

3.you are always ready to party.

4. you never brush your hair. =)

6.you like to were camo.=)

7.you forget to read the numbers befor thease.

8. you relize that there is no number 5. =)

9. now you are laghing in your chair.

10. you now know your a hillbily. =)

cool hu you know i love cake its good.

You Say Pink
I Say Black
You Say Paris Hilton
I Say Fall Out Boy
You Say Zac Efron
I Say Pete Wentz
You Say Pop
I Say Rock
You Say I'm Weird
I Say Thank You!
PUT THIS ON YOUR PROFILE IF YOU AGREE!

1. At Lunch Time , Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it " In".

5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks , Write "For Smuggling Diamonds".

7. Finish All Your sentences with "In Accordance With The Prophecy".

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.

10. Order a Diet Water when ever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is "To Go".

12. Sing Along At The Opera.

13. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?

14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood.

16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream "I Won! I Won!"

18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling "Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!"

19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, "Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go."

20. And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity .

Post this on your profile to make someone smile!

Normal people VS. YuGiOh 5ds fans

Normal people: rely on their local weatherman for the weather forecast.
YuGiOh 5ds fans: would rather rely on the crimson dragon for future predictions.

Normal people: say OMG!
YuGiOh 5ds fans: Say oh my stardust ! (OMS!)

NORMAL PEOPLE: say shut up or I'll tell on you!
YuGiOh 5ds fans: Say shut up, or I'll steal Goodwin's check book and blame on you.

Normal people: Think bad guys are very ugly
YuGiOh 5ds fans: Know a lot better and absolutely love Crow.

Normal people: when being chased yell HELP ME, SOMEBODY!
YuGiOh 5ds fans: when being chased yell HELP ME CRIMSON DRAGON!

Normal People: get nervous or scared during thunderstorms.
YuGiOh fans: know that there might be a duel between signer Yusei Fudo and dark signer Kalin Kessler.

Normal People: would choose somewhere sunny to go for vacation.
YuGiOh 5ds fans: would rather try and find a way to Ancient Egypt.

Normal people: Would be scared when they see people in purple cloaks chasing them.
YuGiOh 5ds fans: Just know that a dark siner is after you.

Normal people: Get freaked out when they see scary people on motorcycles
YuGiOh 5ds fans: Know a lot better and know that it is possibly Kalin or Yusei.

Normal people: Think YuGiOh is just a stupid children’s card game that can be played on motorcycles.
YuGiOh 5ds fans: Know a lot better and know that it even was in the Egyptian past and that the motorcycle is called a d- wheel.

Normal people: Think little people are stupid.
YuGiOh fans: Think that luna is way too cute to be stupid.

Normal people: Would never go to an orphanage.
YuGiOh 5ds fans: Know better and go a lot to orphanages to check out if there is someone like Yusei is there.

Normal people: Think Egypt is stupid.
YuGiOh 5ds fans: Would go immediately to Egypt, because maybe Yusei is there!

Normal people: Would never buy too expensive things because they might become out of money.
YuGiOh 5ds fans: Would just kidnap lazar and force Goodwin to shop with them.

Normal People: Solve all their problems by suing people.
YuGiOh 5ds Fans: Solve all their problems by playing a children's card game. Or asking Goodwin to sue them for you.

normal people: Sing Lady GaGa
Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's (Abridged) fans: Sing were Yugioh and stronger! (and receive many awkward stares XD)
normal people: Don't believe in real magic.
Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's fans: Are always watchful for chances to be sent to the nether world.
Normal people: Don't believe in the Apocalypse.
Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's fans: Laugh and show them Yusei and/or Season 1 dark signer .
normal people: Are afraid of paradox.
Yu-Gi-Oh 5D's (Abridged) fans: Knows he just wants twenty dollars. And maybe a part in a movie. With a few dead children. Because it's what he doooooes.

If you are a YuGiOh 5D's! Fan, then put this on your profile.

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her when she was still alive. The murder chanted, "Toma Sota balcu," as he buried her. Now that you have read this chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this on your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

If you've ever slapped and/or banged your head against a table in frustration,copy this to your profile

You know you're a Portal fan when you:

1: Ask for a box and some neurotoxin when you see a cat

2: Hear the word Lemons and immedeatly start quoting Cave Johnson.

3: Spend five hours watching Nyan Kevin.

4: When you hear the word space you shout, SPACCCCCCCCCCCCCE.

5: You eat potato chips and wonder if you're eating GLaDOS.

6: You make a science project based on power from Lemons/Potatoes.

7: Someone asks you what your favorite song is and you say Still Alive/ Want You Gone.

8: Spend over four hours trying to convince your friend to buy Portal 2 so you can play Co-op.

9: Make a fake Portal Gun.

10: Wish GLaDOS was real.

11. Make a GLaDOS and put all your electrical wiring directly to it. (Yeah, that guy was pretty crazy)

12: Succed with all these.

That girl you just called fat? She's O/Ding on diet pills. That girl you just called ugly? She spends hours putting on makeup just so people may like her. That boy you just tripped? He gets abused enough at home. Remember the man with the ugly scars? He fought for our country. Remember that woman with the distorced face? She was in a gas explosion. People dont have to hurt.Copy and past to your profile if you are against bullying. 99% percent of you wont. I did

Research shows that 92% of today's population have moved on to rap. If you are one of the 8% that stayed with rock, metal, pop, country, or alternative, copy and paste this onto your profile!

I have a GIANT I mean GIANT GIANT imagination, and I'm proud of it. If you are, copy and paste this line into your profile.

If you know you can fly, no matter what the laws of physics state, copy and paste this to your profile

If you are anti-social sometimes copy this into your profile.

If you love rain, copy and paste this into your profile.

If you have ever tripped down the stairs, copy this into your profile.

If you hug cute toys when no one's looking, paste this to your profile

If you hate stereotypes and think ppl should just shut up and stop POST THIS. Pick the stereotype(s) that fits you.

I'M SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm a LESBIAN, so I MUST have a sex-tape.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST, so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore...

I'm a DANCER, So I MUST be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a Goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MOM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm ITALIAN, so I must have a big DICK.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST!!

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLORS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATER & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GUY FRIENDS, so I MUST be fucking them all.

I HAVE A BUNCH OF GIRLS WHO ARE FRIENDS, so I MUST be gay.

I have BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool, and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm SALVADORIAN, so I MUST be in MS 13.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN, so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.. or crazy.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and kool-aid.

I'm BI so I MUST think every girl I see is hot.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm ASIAN, so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CHRISTIAN so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be fucked up.

I'm MUSLIM, so I MUST be a terrorist

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black

I'm GOTH, so I MUST worship the devil.

I Love SHOPPING so I must be rich.

I'm an OG, so I must be Mexican.

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS, and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over-controlling and a bitch.

I read COMICS, so I MUST be a loser.

I hang out with a FORMER PROSTITUTE, so I MUST be a whore myself.

I'm TEXAN, so I MUST ride a horse

I’m a GOTH, so I MUST be a Satanist

I’m a CROSSDRESSER, so I MUST be homosexual.

I draw ANIME, so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FANGIRL, so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker

I'm an ONLY CHILD, so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT, so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN, so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH, so I MUST love sheep

I’m a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I’m CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality, and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUN HAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and a MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I’m WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I am QUIET and POLITE, so I MUST be a pushover.

I use GOOD GRAMMAR, so I MUST be a snob.

I prefer FANTASY and SCI-FI, so I MUST be out of touch with reality.

I love TO LEARN so I MUST be boring.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be a racist.

I'm a GUY with LONG HAIR, so I MUST be a hippie/druggie.

I'm good with COMPUTERS, so I MUST be a nerd/geek.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST love sports.

I'm NOT RELIGIOUS, so I MUST be treated like crap until I pray to your god.

I am a GIRL, so boys MUST be better than me at sports

I am a PUSHOVER, so I MUST have controlling friends

I am a GIRL, so I MUST only be good at work

I am not EMO, so I MUST be uncool.

I am WHITE and I like to DANCE, so I MUST be lame

I don't act DEPRESSED, so I MUST be weird.

I am SKINNY, so I MUST be sensitive about my weight.

I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST go to church every Sunday.

I am a CHRISTIAN/CATHOLIC/ANGLICAN/PROTESTANT, so I MUST not do anything on Halloween.

I am POOR, so I MUST not have good hygiene.

I consider myself 'NORMAL,' so I MUST be boring.

I’m not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser

I care about the ENVIRONMENT, so I MUST be a tree hugging hippy

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall, blond, blue-eyed lesbian.

I like READING, so I MUST be a Loner.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast

I like GAMES, ANIME, and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH; therefore I MUST be white.

I SPOT AND CORRECT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic bastard.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I’m STRONG, so I MUST be stupid.

I'm AUSTRALIAN, so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroos.

I go to RENAISSANCE FAIRS, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times

I’m GAY, so I MUST be after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND, so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN, so I MUST just need converting.

I love MARCHING BAND, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I do BALLET, so I MUST be girly, like the color pink, and hate tomboys.

I like to listen to CHRISTIAN MUSIC, so I MUST hate metal rock and people who listen to it.

I'm a FIGURE SKATER, so I MUST like pretty dresses, classical music, hate eating and is a sissy.

I like to READ, so I MUST do nothing except reading.

I don't agree with CONFORMING, so I MUST act all freaky and be loud.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST like to talk about crushes, dolls, not getting dirty, and parties.

I never have a CRUSH on a guy/girl, so I MUST be lesbian/gay.

I don't DROOL over a lot of BISHIES, so I MUST be a lezzy.

I don't believe in DATING TOO SOON, so I MUST hate people who date.

I FANgirl/boy over fictive girls/Bishojos boys or BIshies girls, so I MUST hate guys or girls.

I don't like YAOI/YURI so I MUST be a homophobe.

I DON'T want to date until I reach driving age, so I MUST be brainwashed by my parents.

I'm a PRETEEN, so I MUST want to have a boyfriend(/girlfriend) already.

I'm FEMALE, so I MUST have long hair.

I don't STUDY much but still get STRAIGHT A's, so I MUST be cheating.

I'm WELL-TO-DO, so I MUST be snotty.

I'm going to HAWAII FOR CHRISTMAS, so I MUST shove it in everyone's faces.

I don't think VEGETARIANISM makes sense, so I MUST think all vegetarians are hippies.

I have a DEEPISH voice, so I MUST be emo

I'm easily ANNOYED, so I MUST be bratty.

I'm NULL, so I MUST hate everyone.

I'm a HUMAN, so I MUST be labeled.

I LISTEN TO ROCK MUSIC, so I MUST be a rebel.

I'm AGNOSTIC, so I MUST treat Christians like crap.( I know I said I was Atheist and I lean more to that side, but I'm just not sure)

I'm a GUY, so I MUST be a perv.

I'm NOT EMO, so I MUST be a loser.

I get NOSTALGIC, so I MUST be childish

I'm OKLAHOMAN, so I MUST love rodeos.

I'm a GIRL, so I MUST love cute/fuzzy animals.

I'm OKLAHOMAN, so I MUST talk like those people in Western movies.

I'm a SWIMMER; therefore I MUST be a lifeguard.

I'm a LIFEGUARD; therefore I MUST be a slut for preforming mouth-to-mouth CPR.

I'm a GYMNAST; therefore I MUST be a whore.

I'm a MALE GYMNAST; therefore I MUST be gay.

I'm a MALE BALLET DANCER; therefore I MUST be gay.

I don't TALK ABOUT SEX all day; therefore I MUST be stupid.

I'm POLISH, therefore MUST be an idiot.

I don't buy DESIGNER CLOTHES; therefore I MUST be poor.

My parents are DIVORCED; therefore I MUST be mentally unstable.

I grew up with a SMOKER/ALCOHOLIC/DRUG ADDICT; therefore I MUST be one myself.

I think STRING ORCHESTRA is better than the band; therefore I MUST be an out-of-date geek.

I'm a COSPLAYER; therefore I MUST love attention, being glomped, and sewing.

I'm a serious CROSSPLAYER; therefore I MUST crossdress in real life and be gay/lesbian.

I'm from CHICAGO-NEW YORK; therefore I MUST own a gun.

I'm from CHICAGO-NEW YORK; therefore I MUST always worry about being shot.

I have a MENTAL disorder; therefore I MUST be stupid.

I lived/grew up with somebody with a MENTAL disorder; therefore I must have problems like theirs.

I've fallen in love with a good FRIEND; therefore I MUST have never only liked them as a friend.

I've fallen in love with a FRIEND of the SAME GENDER; therefore I MUST be a homosexual slut.

I have almost KILLED someone; therefore I MUST be a murderer intent on destroying everyone.

I've almost/have been ARRESTED; therefore I MUST be a desperate, psychotic bitch.

I have had SUICIDAL thoughts; therefore I MUST be emo and depressed.

I have had SUICIDAL thoughts; therefore I MUST be insane and deranged.

I HAVE DIVORCED PARENTS, so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm FROM THE SOUTH, so I MUST have a southern drawl.

I'm FROM THE NORTH, so I MUST not know how to live anywhere but a big city.

I'm FROM ST. LOUIS, so I MUST be a bad driver.

I'm A MIDDLE CHILD, so I MUST be seeking attention.

I HAVE A TEMPER, so I am automatically RETARDED or a BITCH when I go quiet trying not to blow up at insults.

If you hate stereotypes and think people should just shut up and stop, POST THIS.

If you are crazy, odd, not-normal, a freak of nature, or anything else that applies, copy and paste this to your profile. (100 percent and proud of it. There's no doubt in my mind.)

If you've ever busted a move/burst into song, copy and paste this into your profile

Weird is good. Strange is better. Odd is what you call someone who you can't decide what to call them. Weird is the same as different, which is the same as unique, which means weird is good! If you are weird and proud copy this onto your profile!

DADDY”S RULES FOR DATING

Your dad’s rules for your boyfriend (or for if you’re a guy)

Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you’d better be delivering a package, because you’re sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you don’t peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter’s body, I will remove them.

Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don’t take this as an insult, but you and all your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open-minded about the issue, so I propose this compromise: you may come to the door with you underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact come off during the courses of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four: I’m sure you’ve been told that in today’s world, sex without utilizing a ‘Barrier Method’ of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five: It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and only word I need you to say on this subject is ‘early'.

Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don’t you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight: The Following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter. Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough too induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, mid-riff t-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose-parka, zipped up to her throat. Movies with strong romantic or sexual themes are to be avoided: movies which feature chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folk’s homes are better.

Rule Nine: Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shot gun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten: Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of our car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a nice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as a wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit the car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car- there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face in the window is mine.

The Man Rules At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally the guys' side of the story. ( I must admit, it's pretty good, coming from guys.) We always hear ' the rules ' From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note. these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up; you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions, and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or

motor sports

1 You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can -

to give them a bigger laugh.

first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"

Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister Is in the 3rd grade, and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.

Harry was brought in, and the conditions were explained to him, and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"

Harry: "9."

Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"

Harry: "36."

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.

The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and te lls her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."

Ms. Brooks says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."

The principal and Harry both agreed.

Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"

Harry, after a moment: "Legs."

Ms. Brooks: "What is in the pants that you have, but I do not have?"

The principal wondered why she would ask such a question!

Harry replied: "Pockets."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"

Harry: "Pants."

Ms. Brooks: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"

Harry: "Coconut."

The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.

Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"

The principal's eyes opened really wide, and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."

Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down, and a dog does on three legs?"

Harry: "Shake hands."

The principal was trembling.

Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"

Harry: "Fire truck."

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong!!"

If you want child abuse to STOP, copy and paste this into your profile:

This is a true story. A girl died in 1933. A man buried her in the ground when she was still alive. The murderer chanted,"Toma sota balcu" as he buried her. Now that you have read the chant, you will meet this little girl. In the middle of the night she will be on your ceiling. She will suffocate you like she was suffocated. If you post this in your profile, she will not bother you. Your kindness will be rewarded.

this proves that myspace, facebook etc.are dangerous(lol)

there were 2 girls

They were looking through peoples
MySpaces.

The girl slowly came upon this one
myspace.

It had creatures in the background and the man
looked like a psycho.

She started laughing with her friend commenting on how ugly he was.

Right then, an instant message came up.

It said:

SatanStalker: So how do u like my
MySpace??

XxLoVemExX: What??

XxLoVemExX: Who is this anyway??

SatanStalker: Well, you should know;
youre looking at my MySpace right now.

XxLoVemExX: How do you know that im looking at ur pro??

SatanStalker:I know when people look at my MySpace.

XxLoVemExX: What? That doesnt make
any sense, how?

SatanStalker: I just do.

Satanstalker: Especially to pretty girls like you.

Satanstalker: With very nice legs I might say.

At the time the girl was wearing high
shorts.

She started to pull them down a little bit to cover what
ever she could. Her and her friend started to get
worried now.

XxLoVemExX: Ok whatever man youre starting to scare the living sht out of me.

SatanStalker: You should be afraid.

SatanStalker: You wouldnt want an ugly guy like me touching your legs huh? I mean thats what you
just said about me with your friend like a
minute ago.

They were in shock.

Her friend: Holy crap man just block him
hes a fcking psycho!

The girl: Ok holy crap, you think hes
watching us?

SatanStalker: I am.

SatanStalker: Well it wouldnt really
matter if you blocked me anyway; it wouldnt stop me
from coming to your house.

XxLoVemExX: What? My house?

SatanStalker: Yeah, youre alone so its
not a problem.

XxLoVemExX: Ok I think Im going to leave now because youre freaking me out.

SatanStalker: Your screen name says
love me, trust me that wont be a problem.

SatanStalker has just signed off.

The girl and her friend were really
scared.

Girls friend: Whatever let's just go upstairs trust me I doubt he's really coming. It's just a joke from someone.

They went upstairs and were having a pillow fight.

All of a sudden the girl's friend said she had to go to the bathroom. The girl said ok.

Ten minutes later the girl noticed that her friend was
still in the bathroom and was wondering what was up.

She goes and knocks but no one said
anything

she opens it and finds her friend there on
the ground dead. She started to scream but when she
turned around he was there. News the next morning said that there was one girl dead in the bathroom;

her neck sliced with blood all over the ground. with her head nailed to the wall. Just her head.

If you do not repost this in the next two
minutes here will be three men, one in your
bathroom,

one in your room, and one killing your parents at that
very moment.

Tonight at 1:30 am. Well, what are you waiting for?

Repost, or you are going to die

Why is it so unfair that eighth-grade boys are idiots, and eighth-grade girls are ready to date but don't want to date the eighth-grade boys? I hate the eighth grade...
If you talk to yourself, copy and paste this into your profile.
If you fricking LOVE these copy and pastes, copy and paste this to your profile.
If you think TV Golf is the most boring thing on TV...Copy and paste this into your profile.
Come to the dark side. We have COOKIES!
You're just jealous because we act retarded in public and people still love us!
Be a loser! Because being cool is soo overrated!
I agree with the dictionary. Girls before guys, partying before studying, and friends before love.
I don't obsess! I think intensely.
I'm not staring! I'm looking intensely. (My brother)
You know you're in love when the hardest thing to do is say goodbye.
Girls can do anything guys can do, and we do it in heels.

female come backs
pick up line comebacks

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Hiding from you.

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down.

Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator.

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized.

Man: Your body is like a temple.
Woman: Sorry, there are no services today.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?

Man: If I could see you naked, I'd die happy.
Woman: If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put u and I together
Woman: Really, I'd put f and u together

Man: Your eyes they're amazing.
Woman: Seeing your back would be pretty amazing.

Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."

Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."

Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."

Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"

Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."

Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."

Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"

Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"

Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Perhaps. I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."

If you repost this, you will get a phone call 37 minutes after you repost
this...
If you don't resend this, then your love life will be doomed for eternity.

Repost as "female comebacks"

Take 3 minutes and try this...it will freak you out...BUT NO CHEATING!

This game has a funny/spooky outcome.

Don't read ahead...just do it in order! It's worth a try.

First..get a pen and paper. When you actually choose names, make sure it's people you actually know and go with your first instinct.

Scroll down one line at a time...and don't read ahead or you'll ruin it!

1. First, write the numbers 1 through 11 in a column.

2. Then, beside numbers 1 and 2, write down any two numbers you want.

3. Beside the 3 and 7, write down the names of members of the opposite sex.

4. Write anyone's name (like friends or family...) in the 4th, 5th, and 6th spots.

5. Write down four song titles in 8,9,10, and 11. (Go with your instincts!)

6. Finally, make a wish.

And now the key for the game...

1. You must tell (the number in space 2) people about this game.

2. The person in space 3 is the one that you love.

3. The person in 7 is one you like but can't work out.

4. You care most about the person you put in 4.

5. The person you name in number 5 is the one who knows you very well.

6. The person you name in 6 is your lucky star.

7. The song in 8 is the song that matches with the person in number 3.

8. The title in 9 is the song for the person in 7.

9. The tenth space is the song that tells you most about YOUR mind.

10. 11 is the song telling you how you feel about life

NOW...post this bulletin (don't reply) within the hour. IF you do, your wish will come true...

If you don't it will become the opposite

Don’t knock on death’s door. Ring the bell and run. He hates that.Repost or you are going to die. (I don't actually believe this, but it scares the shit outa me when people post this kinda stuff. *looking behind me*)

If you are addicted to vampires and would like to become one, post this onto your profile

1. You get up at unholy hours to type chapters and post them.

2. You can't sleep well knowing you don't have a chapter finished

3. You spend every free hour you have writing chapters for your story. (Or writing a new one)

4. You bargain with your computer to work when it decides to be stubborn in the middle of a chapter

5. Your best friends are people you've never met and have met over PM's and reviews

6. Your favorite past time is reading new writers fic's and putting up with there persistent questions and comments

7. You feel as if you never sleep

8. You have notebooks filled with stories and notes for your fic's

9. You always have a notebook with you so whenever a idea hits you can write it down

10. You have over 10 stories written within your first 3 months of writing

11. All you ever talk about with your non-over the internet friends is fan fiction and your friends on the site

12. Your mother or father tries to burn your fic's so that you can try to return to the normal world (It's been tried by a friends parent. It failed but it was tried. She has still never forgiven her mother.)

13. You post everything you find on other peoples profile that says: Post This

Did you know...

kissing is healthy.

bananas are good for period pain.

it's good to cry.

chicken soup actually makes you feel better.

94 percent of boys would love it if you sent them flowers.

lying is actually unhealthy.

you really only need to apply mascara to your top lashes.

it's actually true, boys DO insult you when they like you.

89 percent of guys want YOU to make the first move.

it's impossible to apply mascara with your mouth closed.

chocolate will make you feel better.

most boys think it's cute when you say the wrong thing.

a good friend never judges.

a good foundation will hide all hickeys... not that you have any.

boys aren't worth your tears.

we all love surprises.

Now... make a wish.

Wish REALLY hard!!

WISH WISH WISH WISH

Your wish has just been received.

Copy and Paste this into your profile in the next 15 minutes and...

Your wish will be granted.

please watch this and help stop child abuse http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLh5vbBLpxI

They Hurt Her

About six years ago in Indiana, Carmen Winstead was pushed down a sewer opening by five girls in her school, trying to embarrass her in front of her school during a fire drill. When she didn't submerge, the police were called. They went down and brought up 17-year-old Carmen Winstead's body, with her neck broken from hitting the ladder, then the concrete at the bottom. The girls told everyone she fell... They believed them.

FACT: About two months later, 16-year-old David Gregory read this post and didn't repost it. When he went to take a shower, he heard laughter, started freaking out, and ran to his computer to repost it. He said goodnight to his mom and went to sleep, but five hours later, his mom woke up in the middle of the night from a loud noise and David was gone. A few hours later, the police found him in the sewer, with a broken neck and the skin on his face peeled off.

Even Google her name - you'll find this to be true.

If you don't repost this saying "They hurt her," then Carmen will get you, either from a sewer, the toilet, the shower, or when you go to sleep, you'll wake up in the sewer, in the dark, then Carmen will come and kill you