WARNING: THERE IS NO RETURN AFTER THIS. :D Just something to keep in mind.

Name: Ok, I would say it, really! DONT DOUBT ME. But, apparently, when you cause a riot in places that should be unknown to you, your known and wanted by all goverment officials. Pssh, only 30 were killed, 12 hurt!

Real Name: HaHa, do you really think I would say my name? Your just pretty little stalkers, arn't you?

Gender: ...Female...

Age: All you need to know is Ill be over dead in 1,000 years.

Location: See that dark corner in the room you in? Can you see movement? Thats me.

Appearance: Short black hair with blues eyes.I wear thick, black rimmed glasses.Apparently, my freaked out face cracks my partner in crime (a.k.a, best friend) up.

Likes: Rise of the guardians, My little pony, Invader Zim, ghost stories,Fear, music, sugar, AND CANDY. IS IT OBVOIUS THAT IVE HAD TO MUCH??!!!!,crazy people,gothic stuffbeing sarcastic, using sarcasm, my awsome retorts, and pranking, FanFiction, computers, technology, AND THE BRITISH.

Dislikes:Authors who dont foopin update their profile in forever,candy haters,people who commit about my outfit all the time with NO PURPOSE,hyprocrites,racism, sexist people, racist people, bossy people, snobs, idiots,people who text you with such bad grammars that you can't understand them, goth and emo haters,girls who wear to much makeup and less clothes, and smart alecks,over protective adults, long speeches, school, healthy junk,and tofu.

Favorite Bands: Green Day, Evanescence, Three Days Grace, and One Direction.

Current Obsessions: Rise Of the Guardians.

Current Death Threat: Go away. Or Ill haunt your nightmares and stalk you in the shadows everyday for the rest of your poor sad life. You will wish that your dead.

Go away or Ill get my guard dog to eat yo brains.

TROLALALALLALALALALLALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAALALALALALALALALLALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALALAL

FUNNY CHIZ

For me, crazy is a loose term. Crazy is when you stare at a pencil and laugh when someone asks you what are you doing that is so interesting about the eraser. Crazy is when you have an hour long sob fest, and start singing and dancing when your favorite song comes on. Crazy is when you do or say some completely random thing, like," Do you ever wonder where the eraser bits go?" or having a thumb-war with yourself. Crazy is when you type up all your favorite sayings and tape them on your wall, just for something to do. Crazy is when all your friends are scared of you because you are so hyper. Crazy is when your friend calls you crazy, you tear up a little and tell them that was the nicest thing they ever said to you. Crazy is when I slapped myself just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming an insanely good dream, and didn’t wake up. Crazy is when you're losing a staring contest and decide to slap your opponent. Crazy is when you suddenly burst out laughing and shake your head when someone asks you what's so funny. Crazy is when you think it's funnier to jump around than to walk. Crazy is when you shove your locker close with a kick, even if your hands are empty. Crazy is when you close a book suddenly because the topic got too damn exciting. Crazy is when you decide to say "Meine Führer", trying to convince people that you know German. Crazy is when you walk around in the rain even when everyone is inside the building staring at you. Crazy is when you jump onto your friends back suddenly, specially when you know they can't lift your weight. Crazy is when someone is talking and you suddenly interrupt saying things like, "Did you know North Korea is not on Google Maps?". Crazy is when you change the language you're speaking right in the middle of a fight to see if the other person lets you win. Crazy is when your friend annoys you at a pool party, so you Sparta kick her/him into the pool. Crazy is when someone starts speaking gibberish/another language, so you slap them and say, "Don't talk about my mother like that!" with an offended look. If you are crazy, copy this onto your profile and add something crazy you've done to the list.

How to Know if You're Addicted to Fanfiction:

10. You no longer refer to comments as "comments." They are now known only as "reviews."

9. Pens are for idiots, and you wouldn't be caught dead with one. How on earth are you supposed to erase when you want to rewrite?

8. You start laughing at the most inopportune times because you remembered something funny from a fanfic.

7. You pretend to take notes, but really you're getting a head start on your latest ficlet.

6. Short disclaimers are for losers. Whoever thinks up the craziest gets a cookie.

5. You can't write for English class because you've used up all your ideas for fanfiction.

4. A story idea isn't a story idea. It's a plot bunny.

3. You hear people talking about a ship (the water variety), and you freaking jump, like, five feet in the air and act like you've never heard the word used outside of the fanfiction context.

2. Whenever something inspiring happens, you screech, "Ooh! Fanfic idea!" and then immerse yourself in writing for the next three hours.

1. You repost this onto your profile! :)

Epic Quotes/Words to Live By (my personal favorites are underlined):

There are very few problems which cannot be solved by large amounts of explosives.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I'm a f-- unicorn and I don’t believe in humans.

I had a friend once, but then the rope broke and he got away.

I wonder who the first person was who looked at a cow and said: "I'll just pull those dangly things and see what comes out, and then drink it."

Anything thrown hard enough should hurt.

"Me, I'm dishonest, and a dishonest person you can always trust to be dishonest, honestly. It's the honest ones you oughtta watch out for because you never know when they are gonna do something incredibly...stupid." -Captain Jack Sparrow

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will.

Be optimistic. All the people you hate are going to eventually die.

I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

I love how in scary movies the person says, “Hello?” as if the murderer’s gonna be like, “Yeah, I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”

They say the truth will set you free. Then why is it every time I tell the truth, I get sent to my room?

I hate it when its dark and I think to myself, “You know what I haven’t thought about in a while? Demons.”

Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous: You suck.

Haikus can be cool,

But sometimes they don't make sense.

Refrigerator.

OH YOU WANNA ARGUE? BRING IT ON B--, I GOT MY CAPS LOCK ON.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my contacts just so I know not to answer when they call.

If you were on fire and I had some water, I'd drink it.

When someone decides to be in the room while you’re on the computer, so you just switch to Google and stare at it.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

In school, I was an outstanding student; my teacher would send me to stand outside of the class as a punishment.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

The more you learn, the more you know. The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why learn?

Knowledge is power. So go to school, learn everything, become powerful, and take over the world!

Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. So study hard and be evil!

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

A clean house is a sign of a broken computer.

I'd tell you to go to hell, but I work there and really don't want to see you everyday.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

I intend to live forever -- so far, so good.

Has anyone else noticed that the symbol “&” looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

The Earth Is Full - Go Home.

"Hey sexy!

Shut the door, drop your pants, climb on top of me, and satisfy your needs.

Love always,

Your Toilet"

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult.

Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

All things considered, insanity may be the only reasonable alternative.

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Note to self: It is illegal to stab someone for being stupid. No matter how much they deserve it.

This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.

When choosing between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before.

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

You know, you do this annoying thing where you open your mouth and then these things you call words come out. Yeah like that. Stop it.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

"In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move." -Douglas Adams

Have you ever watched a Disney movie or something now that you're grown up and realized you had no idea what was going on when you first saw it?

My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said, “At the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I got detention for asking which end.

One day, I will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

Anatidaephobia — fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.

There is nothing worse than that moment in which you are sure you're going to die after leaning back in a chair a little too far.

Help! I've fallen and I can't reach my Life Alert!

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn orange juice.

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

"STOP THINKING STUPID!!" -My english teacher

"I can see a world without hate and without war. And I can see us taking over that world, because they'd never expect it."

I'm the girl that when my feet touch the ground in the morning the devil says; "OH CRAP SHE'S UP!"

10% sugar, 10% spice, 80% demon child so you better be nice.

I let some blind guy borrow money the other day. Yeah, he said he was gonna pay me back the next time he saw me... Wait.

I think that part of a best friend's job after you die is to immediately clear your computer history.

Keyboard not found... Press any key to continue.

Ah, the internet: where men are men, women are also men, and thirteen-year-old girls are FBI agents.

If Google can't find the answer, it's not a question.

If olive oil is made of olives….then…..baby oil is made of…….

Sometimes, Google should come back with a message that says, "Trust me, you don't want to know."

When butterflies fall in love do they feel humans in their stomachs?

General Failure is a superior of Major Malfunction, who is searching for Private Files.

There’s a fine line between genius and stupidity. I like to play jump rope with that line.

I’m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I'm right.

When I have kids someday, I’ll tell them to watch the movie 2012 and say, “I survived that.”

If the automobile had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get one million miles to the gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history - with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

The internet is like Egypt; we write on walls, convey messages with pictures that no one understands, and worship cats.

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

I put the sexy in dyslexia.

A rejected invention: Instant water! Just add water!

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

I've always wanted my last words to be,"Hey, what does this button do?"

Here officer, hold my beer while I find my license.

Police officer: How high are you? Person: No officer, it's 'Hi, how are you?'

The cops never find it as funny as you do.

If you hurt her, I will KICK YOU in the BALLS SO HARD, that you will sing like JUSTIN BIEBER! CLEAR!?!?!?!

One day my patience will run out, and I will punch you in the face. Very hard.

Heaven doesn't want me and Hell is afraid I'll take over.

There's nothing wrong with arguing with yourself. It's when you argue with yourself and LOSE when it's weird.

If a turtle loses his shell, is he naked or homeless?

It is as bad as you think and they are out to get you.

Don't ever say, "At least things couldn't get any worse!". God takes it as a personal challenge.

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

Scary thought: A ghost could be humping you right now and you'd never know.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I hate it when you miss a call by like two seconds, but when you call back immediately after, no one answers. What did they do, leave a message, drop the phone, and sprint as far away as possible?

Always say no to drugs, because if you're high enough that your drugs are talking to you, it's time to quit.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

Sugar is sweet,

And so are you.

But the roses are wilting.

The violets are dead.

The sugar bowl's empty,

And so is your head.

Normal is just a setting on washing machines.

You!! Off my planet!

You should never hit a guy with glasses. Try a baseball bat.

If it wasn't for physics and law inforcement, I'd be unstoppable.

How many times are you supposed to say "What?" before you just smile and nod because you still have no idea what they said?

A loser is a window washer on the 44th floor who steps back to admire his work.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.

"Push" is the force exerted upon the door marked "Pull".

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the paramedics.

Never do anything you don't want to explain to the judge.

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. But pants? Pants never get dirty; you can wear them forever!

I'm going on a quest, to the deepest, darkest corners of my room, in search of what some would call a "floor" - a long and difficult task awaits me my friends, wish me luck, for I may not return alive.

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s hard to get it back in.

What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?

Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven’t gone to sleep yet.

"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Hello!! I am your femur! Consider yourself fucked!

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

"Wait! Violence is not the answer!" "You're right; it's the question! And the answer is YES!"

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where's my ceiling?"

I didn't trip; the floor just looked like it need a hug.

I don’t trip. I do random gravity checks.

“Did you just fall?” “No, I attacked the floor." "Backwards?” "I’m skilled.”

It's you and me against the world. We attack at dawn.

Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that’s how dogs spend their lives.

As a driver, I hate pedestrians. As a pedestrian, I hate drivers. But no matter what form of transportation I'm using, I always hate bicyclists.

Warning: If zombies are chasing us, I'm tripping you.

Sorry, I can't go to hell. It has a restraining order against me.

Some people deserve to be high fived….in the face…….with a chair……

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.

People who don't know me think I'm quiet; people who do wish I was.

I look around and all I see is stupid! On a completely unrelated topic, I like to look at mirrors.

Music is like candy; you throw away the rappers.

''In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will decend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are travelling with more than one small child, then pick your favorite.''

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." "Have you ever had a dictionary thrown at you? Words hurt a lot, believe me."

What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams

I'm on a mission to save the world (I can't believe those idiots trusted me with this).

I'm not afraid of Death. What's it going to do? Kill me?

Relax. Everything's gone to hell in a handbasket, but the internet still works.

A stranger stabs you in the front. A friend stabs you in the back. A boyfriend stabs you in the heart. But a best friend will stab you repeatedly with a plastic spork while yelling, "DIE, B--!".

Even when fully awake, we still have trouble locating car keys in our pockets, finding cell phones, and pinning the tail on the donkey, but I'll bet you anything anyone can locate and push the snooze button from 5 feet away, in the dark, while half-asleep, every time.

Schrodinger's cat ate B. F. Skinner's pigeon, so Pavlov's dog ate the cat. Maybe. (How many people understood that?)

Friend: Why do those people keep looking at us and laughing? Me: Because they're evil douche bags. And I hope they can read lips, because I'm calling them evil douche bags. *looks meaningfully at the douche bags* -Me

"Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?" -Me while eating/making animal crackers fight to the death

"I will lie, cheat, steal and destroy things for really good books. And I will sell my soul for an internet connection, I miss Google damnit!" - Strange Return by Shivera

"We leave immediately!" "But what about dinner?!" "...We leave in two hours!"

"If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up," the sarcastic teacher said. After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet. "Now then mister, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher. "Well, actually, I don't," said the student, "I just hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

“Are you crying?” “No, I’m pretending to be a fountain!”

"Are you sleeping?" "No, I'm training to die."

Your friend calls you at 3 in the morning. "Are you asleep?" "No, I'm skydiving."

"Are you still here?" "Nope."

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, do you know why his father didn't punish him? Student: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS: Maria.

"Dear students,

I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles.

Sincerely, your teacher."

I Got these from my favorite art hour, BlackPaperMoon. Check Her OUT!!!!

Stereotypes,

I'm SKINNY, so I MUST be anorexic.

I'm EMO, so I MUST cut my wrists.

I'm a NEGRO so I MUST carry a gun.

I'm BLONDE, so I MUST be a ditz.

I'm JAMAICAN so I MUST smoke weed.

I'm HAITIAN so I MUST eat cat.

I'm ASIAN, so I MUST be sexy.

I'm JEWISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm GAY, so I MUST have AIDS.

I'm ARAB, so I MUST be a terrorist.

I SPEAK MY MIND, so I MUST be a bitch.

I'm a GAY RIGHTS SUPPORTER, so I WILL go to hell.

I'm a CATHOLIC, so I MUST think gay people should go to hell.

I'm RELIGIOUS, so I MUST shove my beliefs down your throat.

I'm ATHEIST so I MUST hate the world.

I don't have a RELIGION, so I MUST be evil and have no morals.

I'm REPUBLICAN, so I MUST not care about poor people.

I'm a DEMOCRAT, so I MUST not believe in being responsible.

I am LIBERAL, so I MUST be gay.

I don't PAY ATTENTION to politics, so I MUST be ignorant.

I'm SOUTHERN, so I MUST be white trash.

I TAKE (or used to take) ANTI-DEPRESSANTS, so I MUST be crazy.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST only want to get into your pants.

I'm IRISH, so I MUST have a bad drinking problem.

I'm INDIAN, so I MUST own a convenient store.

I'm NATIVE AMERICAN, so I MUST dance around a fire screaming like a savage.

I'm a CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be a whore.

I'm a DANCER, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I wear SKIRTS a lot, so I MUST be a slut.

I'm a PUNK, so I MUST do drugs.

I'm RICH, so I MUST be a conceited snob.

I WEAR BLACK, so I MUST be a goth or emo.

I'm a WHITE GIRL, so I MUST be a nagging, steal-your-money kind of girlfriend.

I'm CUBAN, so I MUST spend my spare time rolling cigars.

I'm NOT A VIRGIN, so I MUST be easy.

I FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN, so I MUST be a home-wrecking whore.

I'm a TEENAGE MUM, so I MUST be an irresponsible slut.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST wear my socks with my sandals.

I'm EGYPTIAN, so I must be a TERRORIST.

I'm PRETTY, so I MUST not be a virgin.

I HAVE STRAIGHT A'S, so I MUST have no social life.

I DYE MY HAIR CRAZY COLOURS, so I MUST be looking for attention.

I DRESS IN UNUSUAL WAYS so I MUST be looking for attention.

I'm INTO THEATRE & ART, so I MUST be a homosexual.

I'm a VEGETARIAN, so I MUST be a crazy political activist.

I have Big BOOBS, so I MUST be a hoe.

I'm COLOMBIAN, so I MUST be a drug dealer.

I WEAR WHAT I WANT, so I MUST be a poser.

I'm RUSSIAN, so I MUST be cool and that's how Russians roll.

I'm GERMAN, so I must be a Nazi.

I hang out with GAYS, so I must be GAY TOO.

I'm BRAZILIAN, so I MUST have a BIG BUTT.

I'm PUERTO RICAN, so I MUST look good and be conceited.

I'm POLISH, so I MUST be greedy.

I'm HAWAIIAN so I MUST be lazy.

I'm PERUVIAN, so I MUST like llamas.

I'm a STONER so I MUST be going in the wrong direction.

I'm a VIRGIN so I MUST be prude.

I'm STRAIGHT EDGE so I must be violent.

I'm a FEMALE GAMER, so I MUST be ugly.

I'm BLACK so I MUST love fried chicken and Kool Aid.

I'm a GIRL who actually EATS LUNCH, so I MUST be fat.

I'm SINGLE so I MUST be ugly.

I'm a SKATER so I must do weed and steal stuff.

I'm a PUNK so I MUST only wear black and date only other punks.

I'm ASIAN so I must be a NERD that does HOMEWORK 24/7.

I'm CATHOLIC so I MUST hate homosexuals.

I'm MIXED so I must be screwed up.

I'm MUSLIM so I MUST be a terrorist.

I'm in BAND, so I MUST be a dork.

I'm BLACK so I MUST believe JESUS WUZ A BROTHA.

I'm MORMON so I MUST be perfect.

I'm WHITE and have black friends so I MUST think I'm black.

I'm GOTH so I MUST worship the devil.

I'm HISPANIC, so I MUST be dirty.

I'm NOT LIKE EVERYONE ELSE, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm OVERWEIGHT, so I MUST have a problem with self control.

I'm PREPPY, so I MUST shun those who don't wear Abercrombie & Hollister.

I'm on a DANCE team, so I must be stupid, stuck up, and a whore.

I'm YOUNG, so I MUST be naive.

I'm MEXICAN, so I MUST have hopped the border.

I GOT A CAR FOR MY BIRTHDAY, so I MUST be a spoiled brat.

I'm BLACK, so I MUST love watermelon.

I'm BI, so I MUST think every person I see is hot.

I'm a GUY CHEERLEADER, so I MUST be gay.

I'm a PREP, so I MUST be rich.

I don't like the SUN so I MUST be an albino.

I have a lot of FRIENDS, so I MUST love to drink and party.

I wear tight PANTS and I'm a guy, so I MUST be emo.

I couldn't hurt a FLY, so I MUST be a pussy.

I support GAY RIGHTS, so I MUST fit in with everyone.

I hang out with teenage drinkers and smokers, so I MUST smoke and drink too.

I have ARTISTIC TALENT, so I MUST think little of those who don't.

I don't like to be in a BIG GROUP, so I MUST be anti-social.

I have a DIFFERENT sense of HUMOUR, so I MUST be crazy.

I tell people OFF, so I MUST be an over controlling bitch.

My hair gets GREASY a lot, so I MUST have no hygiene skills.

I'm DEFENSIVE, so I MUST be over controlling and a bitch.

I'm a NUDIST, so I MUST want everyone to see my boobs.

I read Comics, so I MUST be a loser.

I'm TEXAN so I MUST ride a horse.

I'm a CROSS-DRESSER, so I must be homosexual.

I draw ANIME so I MUST be a freak.

I am a FAN-GIRL so I MUST be a crazy, obsessed stalker.

I'm an ONLY CHILD so I MUST be spoiled.

I'm INTELLIGENT so I MUST be weak.

I am AMERICAN so I MUST be obese, loud-mouthed and arrogant.

I'm WELSH so I MUST love sheep.

I'm a YOUNG WRITER, so I MUST be emo.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST talk with a funny accent.

I'm a GUY, so I MUST ditch my pregnant girlfriend.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST love hockey and beavers.

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST be ignored all the time.

I'm DISABLED, so I MUST be on Welfare.

I'm a FEMINIST, so I MUST have a problem with sexuality and I want to castrate every man on the earth.

I'm a TEENAGER, so I MUST have a STEREOTYPE.

I WEAR A BIG SUN HAT when I go outside, so I MUST be stupid.

I like BLOOD, so I must be a VAMPIRE.

I'm an ALBINO, so I MUST be an evil person with mental abilities and is A MURDERER!

I'm ENGLISH, so I MUST speak with either a cockney or a posh accent, love tea and cricket, and have bad teeth.

I'm WHITE, so I MUST be responsible for everything going wrong on the planet: past, present, and future.

I don't like YAOI or YURI, so I must be HOMOPHOBIC.

I'm not the most POPULAR person in school, so I MUST be a loser.

I care about the ENVIRONMENT so, I MUST be a tree hugging hippy.

I have a FAN CHARACTER, so I MUST be an annoying Mary-sue.

I'm CONSERVATIVE, so I MUST be against Abortion.

I'm SWEDISH so I MUST be a tall blond blue-eyed lesbian.

I'm a LESBIAN so I MUST want to get with every single girl that I see.

I like CARTOONS, so I MUST be IRRESPONSIBLE.

I like READING, so I MUST be a LONER.

I have my OWN spiritual ideology; therefore I MUST be WRONG or MISGUIDED.

I am WICCAN, so I MUST be a SATANIST.

I DISAGREE with my government, so I MUST be a TERRORIST.

I am a WITCH, so I MUST be and OLD HAG and fly on a broomstick.

I love YAOI, so I MUST be GAY.

I'm a PERSON, so I MUST be LABELLED.

I DON'T CURSE, so I MUST be an outcast.

I like GAMES, ANIME and COMICS, so I MUST be childish.

I'm SWEDISH, therefore I MUST be WHITE.

I SPOT GRAMMATICAL ERRORS, so I MUST be a pedantic freak.

I'm GOTHIC, so I MUST be mean.

I'm STRONG so I MUST be stupid.

I'm Australian so I MUST hunt crocodiles and talk to kangaroo’s.

I go to RENFAIRES, so I MUST talk weird, be a loser, and not be up with the times.

I'm GAY so I'm after EVERY straight guy around.

I don’t want a BOYFRIEND so I MUST be Lesbian.

I'm NOT CHRISTIAN so I MUST just need converting.

I love marching band, so I MUST be a friendless freak.

I DRINK and SMOKE, so I MUST have no life.

I am friends with a CUTTER, so I MUST be a CUTTER too.

I cry easily, so I MUST be a wimp.

I can't help pointing out mistakes so I MUST be an over-controlling perfectionist.

I'm a PERFECTIONIST so I MUST check everything ten times, THEN burst into tears at one mistake.

I DON'T LIKE to talk about my personal life so I MUST be having problems.

I like FIRE so I must be an arsonist.

I SPACE OUT so I MUST not be paying attention.

I'm COVERED IN SCARS so I MUST cut myself. (not covered in them, but I've got plenty)

I'm CANADIAN, so I MUST say "EH?" a lot.

I am SOUTHERN, so I MUST talk with an accent and live on a farm.

"I am TEXAN, so I must say "Y'ALL" a lot.

STOP STEREOTYPES! IF YOU HATE STEREOTYPES AND WANT THEM TO STOP, COPY THIS LIST INTO YOUR PROFILE AND BOLD THE ONES YOU ARE.

MORE FUNNY QOUTES! (Some are repeated)

Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. (Holy Shit)

One day, I will look back on this, laugh nervously, and change the subject.

I think it has become obvious that medicine companies have no idea what fruit taste like.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

Dear Math, I am sick and tired of finding your “X” Just except the fact that she’s gone and move on dude.

If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the sidewalk.

I hate it when you miss a call by like two seconds, but when you call back immediately after, no one answers. What did they do, leave a message, drop the phone, and sprint as far away as possible?

Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my contacts just so I know not to answer when they call.

Always say no to drugs, because if you're high enough that your drugs are talking to you, it's time to quit.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...so I said "Implants?"

You cry, I cry, you laugh, I laugh, you fall off a cliff, I laugh even harder.

Well the voices and I took a vote. It's unanimous: You suck.

How many times are you supposed to say "What?" before you just smile and nod because you still have no idea what they said?

I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless.

Some see the glass half full, some see it half empty. Me? I just want to know who the hell is drinking my damn orange juice.

We live in an age where pizza gets to your house before the police do.

Apparently 1 in 5 people are Chinese. There are five people in my family so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or dad. Or my older brother Will. Or my younger brother Ho-chan-chu. But I think it's Will.

If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.

A recent survey stated that the average person's greatest fear is having to give a speech in public. Somehow this ranked even higher than death which was third on the list. So, you're telling me that at a funeral, most people would rather be the guy in the coffin than have to stand up and give a eulogy.

Don't ever attempt a staring contest with a brick wall, they cheat a lot.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

There's always a light at the end of the tunnel. Of course, it's usually an oncoming express train.

Don't ever say, "At least things couldn't get any worse!" God takes it as a personal challenge.

There is nothing worse than that moment in which you are sure you're going to die after leaning back in a chair a little too far.

Last night I was looking up at the stars when suddenly I wondered..."Dude, where's my ceiling?"

There are three kinds of people. Those who learn by reading, a few who learn by observation, and the rest who have to test the electric fence for themselves.

I've always wanted my last words to be,"Hey, what does this button do?"

Thank you Facebook, I can now farm without going outside, cook without being in my kitchen, feed fish I don’t have & waste an entire day without having a life.

I could agree with you, but then we'd both be wrong.

Education is important. School, however, is another matter.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

Hello!! I am your femur! Consider yourself fucked!

In school, I was an outstanding student; my teacher would send me to stand outside of the class as a punishment.

When choosing between two evils, I always pick the one I've never tried before.

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

Even when fully awake, we still have trouble locating car keys in our pockets, finding cell phones, and pinning the tail on the donkey, but I'll bet you anything anyone can locate and push the snooze button from 5 feet away, in the dark, while half-asleep, every time.

Grammar is important. Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse, and helping your uncle jack off a horse.

Note to self: It is illegal to stab someone for being stupid. No matter how much they deserve it.

If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea... does that mean that one enjoys it?

“STOP THINKING STUPID!!" -My english teacher.

"Wait! Violence is not the answer!" "You're right; it's the question! And the answer is YES!"

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." "Have you ever had a dictionary thrown at you? Words hurt a lot, believe me."

Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

Scary thought: A ghost could be humping you right now and you'd never know.

If you were on fire and I had some water, I'd drink it.

I look around and all I see is stupid! On a completely unrelated topic, I like to look at mirrors.

Me: Why do those people keep looking at us and laughing? Friend: Because they're evil douche bags. And I hope they can read lips, because I'm calling them evil douche bags. *looks meaningfully at the douche bags* -Friend

I hope you liked. If you did like that then you should check out my friend BlackPaperMoon82462. Her stories are really good.

More quotes (this one is very long)

I think Lady Gaga puts glue on herself and roles around in random items.

We’re not sarcastic- we’re hilarious. We’re not annoying- we’re just cooler than you. We’re not mean- we just don’t like you. And we’re not obsessed- we’re just friends.

I’m not arguing. I’m simply explaining why I'm right.

When I have kids someday, I’ll tell them to watch the movie 2012 and say, “I survived that.”

Sunglasses: allowing you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.

“But mom what if I get kidnapped?” “Trust me they’d bring you back.”

I've always wanted to go into an elevator full of strangers and say, “I bet you’re all wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today.”

I don’t trip. I do random gravity checks.

I used to be normal…..but then….I met those losers….I now call my best friends.

When people see you lying down with your eyes closed they still ask: “Are you sleeping” “No I'm training to die.”

They say not to drink and drive….Well today I was drinking a juice box and riding my tricycle…..I feel SOOO DANGEROUS.

During a test; people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information.

That awkward moment when you’re yelling at someone, but you mess up a word and it ruins the seriousness….

Best friends, they know how stupid you and still choose to be seen with you in public.

I may look calm, but in my head I’ve killed you three times. (One of them including a death note)

When you’re laughing so hard, no noise comes out, so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.

Humans are the only creature in this world who cut down trees, make paper from it and then write “save trees” on it.

Why do we feel safe under the blankets? It’s not like a murder will come in thinking “I'm gonna kill...-ahh damn she’s under a blanket”

I didn’t fall the flour needed a hug.

Math: The only place where people buy 60 watermelons and no one wonders why.

He broke her heart. She broke his X-Box. I think we all know who cried harder.

I sleep too much, parents complain. I don’t get enough sleep, parents complain. I eat too much, parents complain. I don’t eat enough, parents complain. I'm always in my room parents complain. I go out too much, parents complain. I CAN’T WIN!!!

I’ve always wanted to get into a cab and yell, “Follow that car.”

They say harry potter is magic, but it is SpongeBob who can make a fire under the sea.

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall we laugh.

“Did you just fall?” “No, I attacked the floor backwards?” I’m skilled”

Why do we eat junk food when we’re STRESSED?? Cuz stressed spelled backwards is DESSERTS!!

So I guess someone found a cure for Beiber Fever, huh? Now everyone has 1 direction infection. Shit, I hope I don’t get it. (Oops I think I got it)

The hardest job in the world must be working in a bubble wrap factory. Can you imagine the self-control that is required to work there??? “Must not pop bubbles.”

Mephobia- fear of becoming so awesome that the human race can’t handle it so everyone dies.

You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.

When I take my driving test I know my best friend will be in the back seat yelling we are going to DIE!!!

Without school, it’s hard to remember what day it is.

If homework is work then why aren’t we getting paid?

That awkward moment when you’re telling a story and you realize nobody’s listening so you slowly fade out and pretend you never said anything.

If my music’s too loud, you’re too old.

Music: we have YouTube for that.

Sports: there’s a Wii.

Spanish: there’s Dora (don’t get me wrong I hate, but I hate Spanish class more)

English: everything’s shortened anyway. (LOL, BRB, IDK)

Math: that’s why we have calculators.

Geography: I’ll buy a globe.

History: they’re all dead anyway. (Not to mention I could just watch Hetalia)"

Getting paid to sleep, that’s my dream job.

Be optimistic. All the people you hate are going to eventually die.

Menstruation, menopause, mental break downs. Notice how all women’s problems begin with men.

That awkward moment when you realize that Dora the explorer has more freedom than you and she’s five……..

I can’t clean my room because I get distracted by the cool stuff I find.

I wanted to send you something sexy……..but the mailman made me get out of the mailbox.

Some people are like Slinkys, not really good for much, but bring a smile to your face when pushed down stairs.

I love everybody. Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others I would love to punch in the face.

My ex had one very annoying habit, breathing.

I'm a fucking unicorn and I don’t believe in humans.

Today’s meal: Eat it or starve.

I hate it when its dark and your brain is suggesting, “You know what you haven’t thought about in a while, demons”

Has anyone else noticed that the symbol “&” looks like a man dragging his butt across the floor?

Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person. Think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.

Wanting to punch someone in the neck for bragging about winning a game you barely cared about before.

Ever looked at your best friend and wonder why the hell you aren’t both comedians.

Shut up voices!!!... Or I’ll poke you with the Q-tip again.

I’m the kind of girl that will pull on a door that says “push” on it and then scream, “It won’t open!”

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and plot your revenge.

If you think you’re cooler than me, then that must mean I’m hotter than you.

Roses are red, violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo. But don’t worry I’ll be there too! Not in a cage, but laughing at you.

"Dear students,

I know when you’re texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles.

Sincerely, your teacher."

Some people deserve to be high fived….in the face…….with a chair……

"Lost your pen = no pen

No pen = no notes

No notes = no study

No study = fail

Fail = no diploma

No diploma = no work

No work = no money

No money = no food

No food = skinny

Skinny = ugly

Ugly = no love

No love = no marriage

No marriage = no children

No children = alone

Alone = depression

Depression = sickness

Sickness = death

Lesson: Don’t lose your pen, you’ll die."

Harry potter fans: “I want to go to Hogwarts!”

Percy Jackson fans: “I want to go to camp half-blood!”

Narnia fans: “I want to go to Narnia!”

Hunger Games fans: “I’m okay!”

To my haters, have you noticed how awesome ends in “me” and ugly starts with “u”?

Welcome to the dark side. Are you surprised we lied about having cookies?

My teacher pointed at me with her ruler and said, “At the end of this ruler is an idiot.” I got detention for asking which end.

“WHY?!” “BECAUSE I SAID SO!” good one mom you should be a lawyer!

S-something

W-we

A-Americans

G –got

When life gives you Skittles……chuck them at people and say, “Taste the fucking rainbow!!”

Whenever I delete an app on my IPhone, the shaking objects make me feel like they’re all panicked over who’s been Deleted…..

Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.

8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, 6,000,000,000 people, and I'm single.

If olive oil is made of olives….then…..baby oil is made of…….

Homework hurts trees.

When my friend doesn’t come to school

5% - “I hope she’s okay”

95% - “THAT IDIOT, HOW DARE SHE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!”

“OOHH WHO’S THAT SEXY BEAST?!” Oh. I clicked on my own profile again…

What do I do when I see someone extremely gorgeous…..? I stare, I smile, and when I get tired…I put my mirror down. ;)

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, then why is there a light in the fridge?

"This is this cat

This is is cat

This is how cat

This is to cat

This is keep cat

This is an interesting cat

This is idiot cat

This is busy cat

This is for cat

This is forty cats

This is second’s cat

Now go back and read the THIRD word only, in each line from the start."

Dear math, I don’t want to solve your problems. I have my own to solve.

Dear math, I’m a teenager…..not a therapist. I can’t solve all of your problems!!!

Got a problem with me? Solve it. Think I’m tripping? Tie my shoes. Can’t face me? Turn around. CUZ I AINT GONNA CHANGE FOR YOU!!!

To Do List

1. Wear a shirt that says life and hand out lemons.

2. Hire two private investigators. Get them to follow each other.

3. Make vanilla pudding. Put it in a Mayo jar and eat it in public.

4. Run into a store. Ask what year it is and when someone answers yell, “IT WORKED” and run out cheering.

5. Follow joggers around in a car blasting “Eye of the Tiger” for encouragement.

If you hurt her, I will KICK YOU in the BALLS SO HARD, that you will sing like JUSTIN BIEBER CLEAR!!!!

One day my patience will run out, and I will punch you in the face. Very hard.

Drink coffee! Do dumb things faster with more energy!

“Are you crying?” “NO!! I’m pretending to be a fountain!!”

When someone throws skittles at you and says, “taste the fucking rainbow!” run them over with a car and say, “nationwide is on your side.”

"How fast can you guess these words

"BOO_S" "_ _NDOM" "F_ _K" "P_N_S" "PU_S" "S_X"

Answers: 1, BOOKS. 2, RANDOM. 3, FORK. 4, PANTS. 5, PULSE. 6, SIX. You got all six wrong didn’t you? You dirty minded freak."

I am nobody. Nobody’s perfect. Therefore I am perfect.

I’d slap you, but that would be animal abuse.

I love how in scary movies the person says, “Hello?” as if the murderer’s gonna be like, “Yeahh, I’m in the kitchen. Want a sandwich?”

I don’t exactly hate you, but if you were on fire and I had a glass of water. I’d drink it.

Roses are red violets are blue……..wait a minute!!! Why are violets blue?? Wouldn’t they be, oh I dunno…..VIOLET?!?!?!?

Old people at weddings always poke me and say, “Your next.” So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

My friends are the kind that if their house was on fire, they would be roasting marshmellows and hitting on the firemen.

When someone decides to be in the room while you’re on the computer, so you just switch to Google and stare at it.

You don’t have to worry about zombies. They only eat people with brains.

Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them they die.

A friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be there with you saying, “Wow, that was so much fun.”

Oh I'm a few minutes late to class? Please stare at me like I've killed five people.

I don't have a dirty mind, I have a sexy imagination.

THESE CAME FROM BANKI SILVERWOLF! SHE IS BLACKPAPERMOONS FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!! CHECK THEM OUT!!!!!!!!!! AND THE ONES BEFORE CAME FROM BLACKPAPERMOON!!!!!!!!

SO, guys...your mind ok? Yes? NO?!!!?? Well, thats ok. Check ma storys!!!! AND YOU BETTER REVIEW. Just kidding. Do what you want. I COULD CARE LESS ABOUT HATERS GUYS.