My Lords, Ladies and Gentlemen. I bid you welcome to this, my humble and simultaneously extravagant home, here where all fictional dimensions converge.

The Library of Eldritch Lore.

Enter freely of your own will and leave some of the happiness you bring.

Allow me to introduce myself, assuming we have not already met. My memory is no longer what it once was. I have gone by many names and titles over the years, but at present I go by Rorek.

Rorek C. Literatus, the Loremaster Alchemist.

I am the eternal and autistic owner, creator and curator of this facility. Our collection is an extensive one, ranging from the mystical to the mundane. From the veritable labyrinth of shelves and stacks of books that line our walls and corridors to the vast rows of cases containing artefacts and amulets, their uses varied and too great to enumerate sufficiently.

For your own safety, I would ask that you not stray too deeply into the Library without one of my assistants or an extremely long ball of wool. There are things that lurk in the dark, things too ancient to have names of their own. Things so terrible as to make the dread xenomorph or the vast and unending legions of Hell itself look like nothing but ants in comparison.

Bearing this in mind, I invite you to peruse our shelves at your leisure. Please, enjoy yourselves. If you should have any questions, feel free to direct them to either myself or one of my assistants.

On that note, anyone wishing to join my staff should apply to me directly for an interview. Good spelling and a firm grasp of grammar are essential. We currently have an unpaid opening for an artist, if anyone is interested. Successful applicants will receive room and board here in the Library, as well as a place on the Stage of the World.

Oh, and for the record? I the Hell proof read those things.